Doomsday Fix-It #5327232

by nostalgia [Reviews - 12]

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  • All Ages
  • Swearing
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Rose had waited so many years for this moment. She always knew it would happen. Here was the alt!verse Doctor, with his alt!verse TARDIS and his alt!verse manly hairy hands. She grabbed onto him as he emerged from the blue box, and pressed him to her breasts.

"Oh, Doctor!" she cried. "I've waited so many years to see you again! I knew you'd come back to me!"

The Doctor hugged her back. Because, hey, free hug from a not-unattractive human.

Rose's mascara was running. "I have saved myself for you," she sniffed. "I knew you'd want me to get on with my life, but I also knew there there had to be a you in the alt!verse and that you would love me as much as you did."

It was a good thing the Doctor understood how complicated pronouns could be. He detached from the hug (a bit reluctantly) and looked at this weeping woman.

"I've never met you before in my life," he said, worrying that this was perhaps the wrong thing to say even though it was true.

Rose nodded and smiled tearily. "I know. But I also know that," she took his hand, "you need me. That's why you came back for me. Fate has guided us back together. And, yes, I will marry you."

At the sound of that terrible word, the Doctor took a step away from the crygasm that stood before him. "I'm sure you're a very nice person. And I would gladly die for you or have my eyes removed with sporks or be forced to eat glass to save you. But there are certain things that are just too horrible to contemplate. It's not you, it's me. And never have those words been more accurate and honest."

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "What the shit? I saved you from Autons and healed you from your war guilt and you latched onto me in that way you do, only with me it was different, because it was true soulmate love and you could never live without me."

The Doctor blinked. "No, that was Shireen that did that." He blinked back a single emo tear. "I can only hope she's okay in that other universe where there are no shrimp, and that she can carry on her life after I imparted a message of love and self-pity on a windy beach in Wales."

Rose stared at the Doctor. Then she stared into herself, symbolically and stuff. She examined her soul and her love and her other things.

"Did you shag Madame de Pompadour?" she asked.

The Doctor looked shocked, but nodded as though accepting that she was somehow magically connected to him. Rose grinned smugly. This at least confirmed that it wasn't just a failure on her part. She bet Shireen had cried about it more than she did. Shireen wouldn't even have had the hot comfort!sex with Mickey afterwards.

Rose nodded towards the alt!TARDIS. "Are you travelling with anyone right now?"

"Oh, yeah. Martha. Give her a minute. Sometimes she has problems with the door."

"I bet," said Rose, "that Martha is the most wonderful person you've ever met. That she alone understands you and is the best friend you could ever have and it's totally about her and not just you thinking that every time and, sure, you barely ever mention Shireen but you loved her and will never love anyone as much just as you will never love anyone as much as you love Martha?"

"Fuck, you're good," said the Doctor, slightly awed.

"Whatever," said Rose, "I am so over you."

And the funny thing is, she was.