Soul's Shadow

by TardisGhost [Reviews - 78]

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  • Teen
  • None
  • Action/Adventure, Character Study

"How are you feeling?" The Master looked me up and down.

"It's not hurting anymore," I answered, listening inside of me and touching my forehead. Then a thought occurred to me and I looked back at the Master. "It must have hurt you too, didn't it?"

He nodded. "Everything we do goes both ways. I'm just a little stronger than you." He poked his tongue out, winking playfully. "I've felt worse pain in my life already. And besides, you were a much more pressing matter at that moment."

I snorted, thudding my head back against him. "Never thought I'd see you so worried about me."

The Master let out a huff, snipping his fingers against my head. "I just wasn't in the mood to endure any of the Doctor's speeches had you died."

"If you say so." I chuckled, drawing the blanket a little higher to tug it under my chin. Kira gave me a protesting look. "Can I sleep now? Or do I have to stay awake?"

"No, you're safe. I just didn't want you to drift away before. Who knows where you would have ended up."

He moved away from my back, allowing me to lie down. He did the same, gesturing me to turn around so he could draw me against his bare chest. The skin contact made me tingle for a moment, a sense of anticipation. But there was no attempt to connect our minds. I remembered the first time we had tumbled so deep and how much it had hurt to connect afterwards. Hopefully, this wouldn't last long. Kira sat on top of the blanket, adding a little weight and comfort.

The Master let out a sigh. "If you really want to know," he murmured close to my ear, "I wasn't entirely sure this wouldn't trigger your void connection. I know almost nothing about it."

"Oh. Right," I answered, sleepily. "We should take a look at that too. Tomorrow."

The Master hummed. And like that, bundled up and cosy, I slipped away into a dreamless sleep.


I awoke with a start; something did not feel right at all. The Master was still there, drawing me closer for a precious moment. The strange sensation did not vanish, but I gave in anyway, turning around and studying his half sleeping face. Like that, one could almost think he was capable of being nice.

"Like what you see?" A small smile played on his lips, his eyes opening slowly.

"Something's wrong," I mumbled.

The Master chuckled and looked at me, displaying a mock pout. "That's not a good flirting tactic, little one."

"And why would I flirt with you?" I gave back, grinning meanly.

He returned the grin, then skidded forwards to capture my lips, pulling me even closer. Our minds were bristling, yearning to have the same amount of contact than our bodies, but I also sensed how bad an idea that would be right now. And I also sensed something else, or rather… didn't.

The Master retreated, eyes twinkling amused. "It's strange not to smell your hormones when I kiss you."

"Almost forgot you blocked them."

He grinned. "Maybe I just leave you like that."

"Oi!" I giggled and poked his chest, but then I paused, thinking. "Maybe… for a while. It's rather annoying to have those, honestly."

The Master stayed silent for a solid minute, his hand tenderly stroking over my cheek, my neck, my collar bone. It made me weirdly relaxed and I sighed, content.

"You hate that you crave something that others have forced upon you," he murmured eventually.

My eyes crept back open, meeting his, full of thoughts. Was he right? After I had been thrown on the streets I had started to take the whole subject as open and casual as possible. But maybe that had only been to… cope. To hide. And as soon as I lost complete control over when and if… I felt the old panic again. The disgust.

"It's a part of being human, though, isn't it?" I mumbled, intertwining my hand with one of his, fingers lightly stroking over skin.

"Is it?" He nudged his nose against my head, grinning. "They probably tell you that, because they are unable to control it." He drew my hand up, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "I think it's rubbish. You're you. You're human… alas." He poked out his tongue. "I don't need to unblock them, they already started to do that on their own. That's the thing with control. You need to consciously keep it upright."

"Oh. Mhm… too bad. But say… I still have a feeling that something's wrong here. It woke me up."

"Yeah, I know." The Master sighed and sat up. "The TARDIS moved. And not from within, so I assume someone took it. Which, given the current situation, can only have been the Sontarans."

"What!?" I shot up, startling Kira awake, who had moved to sleep on my feet. "Then why do you keep so calm? We have to-"

"They can't get inside anyway," the Master drawled. "But let's have a look. Maybe I can blow them up or something. The Doctor can't impossibly be mad at me for that."


"Oh, Donna, darling, I don't know either what to do," Wilf said, his tone sad and a little desperate. "Never had to infiltrate a base. Especially not an alien one. You really don't have the Doctor's number?"

"Oh, he ran off, didn't he?" drawled the Master when we strode in. "And while he is busy mingling with the apes and rekindling the flame with his ex-girlfriend, our dear Sontarans have kidnapped the TARDIS. Does that sum it up?" Everyone glared at him and the Master rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thought so."

"Martha's never been his girlfriend," Donna started, her face showing the typical signs of an oncoming tirade, but then again did she seem frightened. "And you should stay quiet about her anyway, considering what you've done to her!"

Wilf looked from one to the other, clearly confused about what was going on. I myself didn't interfere. There was too much I still didn't know. I had no clue what the Master had done to this Martha and maybe I also didn't want to know.

"Whatever," the Master shrugged. "The potatoes can't get in here. So, stop panicking."

"I'm not panicking! I'm trying to get us out of this mess!" Now she was shouting. "In opposite to you! You're just-" she waved her hands at him-"standing 'round doing nothing! Move the TARDIS away. How about that?"

"Can't." His answer was short and he strolled over to one of the jump seats to flop down in it and prop his feet up the console. "Would be a bad prisoner if I could just fly off." He snickered to himself, tossing challenging glances around.

The ringing of a phone prevented the scene from escalating. Donna frantically rummaged around in her pocket to get it out. "What's happened? Where are you?" She listened to the reply and looked around the room. "Wilf's with me. And Lucy and the Master are there too. But your bloody mate isn't going to help us." She furrowed her brows. "Alright, wait a second."

Donna moved the phone from her ear, stomped over to the Master and pushed it into his hands. "You better be useful for once."

The Master took it and poked his tongue out before bringing the device to his ear. "Oh, Doctor, what mess have you brought us in, this time?" He waited for the answer, a smirk growing. "Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty certain you don't want me to have control over a Sontaran ship. Just a side thought." His eyes darted to me and he gave me a wink. "No, wasn't planing to. I hate their designs; if I'm going to take the world then in style, please."

He tossed the phone back to Donna, who caught it just in time. The Doctor's voice was bleeding through, obviously distressed and annoyed. Donna listened and then nodded, casting her darkest glare at the other Time Lord.

I let out a sigh and shook my head. This wasn't the time to be a dick. He wouldn't gain anything from not getting us back. And if he was banned from using the ship's controls then there wasn't a way to move from within. I rubbed my eyes and stepped to Donna.

"I'm coming too. What do we need to do?"

"Lucy?" came the muffled voice from the speakers.

"Yep, me."

"Good, good. 'S good she's not alone. Now listen, you two-"

The voice was cut off from my ear when I suddenly got yanked away from the phone. It took a moment to get my orientation back, then I stood face to face with the Master, blinking confused at his angry eyes.

"I'm certainly not letting you go out there."

I tried to get out of his grip on my arm, without success. "Since you're not helping…"

"No trust in your favourite, pinstripe Time Lord anymore?" he snarled.

"You seem to have awfully much of it," I countered venomously.

The Master smirked, but it was a truly unpleasant expression. "The only reason to interfere now would be to save that useless planet down there. He'll come back to get the TARDIS, no matter what happens with everything else."

"So, we just sit here and watch it all burn?"

This time his grin was genuine. He bent down to my ear, so his words were only for me. "Not so long ago you were about to do it yourself."

His words made me stop every struggle. My eyes wandered to Donna, to Wilf. I didn't owe earth anything, but those two did.

"I'll manage," said Donna all of a sudden. One hand lay over the cell phone speaker, her smile was weak, but reassuring. "Have to, don't I? And two are easier caught than one."

Oh Donna. Brave and frightened Donna. In that very moment I understood, I felt it. She was ready to go out and risk everything for the people down there, because she thought it wouldn't matter if she died. All the small comments she sometimes made… she truly thought she wasn't important.

Tears shot to my eyes. The Master tightened his grip on my arm, almost hurting me with it. He wouldn't let me go.

"Be careful," I breathed.

Wilf hugged her tightly, begging her to stay safe and return immediately if anything happened.

And then she was gone.


"Really don't like us, do you?" asked Wilf towards the Master. He sat in a jump seat, appearing horribly small within this big ship.

"You're a pretty pathetic species." The Master mumbled annoyed, leaning with folded arms against a coral pillar.

"Your friend seems to think differently. Why's that?"

The Master grunted. "Because he is a moron and weak hearted. I have no idea why he is so obsessed with your kind."

Wilf hummed, his eyes probably wandering to the door again, waiting for any sign of Donna's return. I, on the other hand, sat below the console, just out of sight of the two. I had pretended to return to my room, but had silently returned to be at least somewhere nearby if something happened. Deep down I knew I wouldn't have been of much help out there, but another part felt guilty for leaving Donna on her own; that the decision had been taken from me didn't make it that much better.

"'N yet you protect that girl of yours," Wilf continued. "Thought she's human too. Donna said so."

"That's none of your business," grumbled the Master.

"No… no, it's not. Forgive me, I'm just an old man. Just curious. You don't like us, I understand." For a moment there was silence, but then Wilf hummed thoughtfully and spoke again. "You love her, don't you?"

Something cold dropped into my stomach, a liquid piece of frozen fire. This simple question, woven from words I hadn't even been brave enough to think. But it wasn't like that, it couldn't be.

I froze when I heard the Master snort out a laugh. "Nonsense, old man. I wouldn't be so stupid to fall in love with a human."

It took all of my composure to not make myself known. My breath escaped slowly in a silent sigh. Relief? It felt like relief, but maybe also… not.

To my surprise I heard Wilf laugh quietly. "Ah, you young folks. You always confuse it all."

"I'm centuries older than you," came the grumbled reply.

"Mhm… might be. Might be. But you too forgot, haven't you? There's more than one kind of love. 'N some are so much stronger, son. So much…"

The Master had no time to reply and I had no time to process Wilf's words. There was a bang against the doors and then they creaked open.


A/N: Happy new year, everyone! :3
At first I planned for Lucy to go with Donna, because she finally found a spark of courage. But then I decided against it, because I think it was a really important moment for Donna to be on her own and find some trust within herself. (Ugh, I just love her so much! UwU) Also, as a side note... I've been through rough shit in my life that messed with a lot of biological stuff... so for a very long time I actually identified as asexual. Curious and unknowing as I was I found some platforms to hang out with a bunch of really amazing people all around the ace spectrum.
In the end... I discovered that a lot of my ace trades came from unresolved traumas and also a bit because of the autism (if you never even look at people, you can't find anyone attractive after all :V ). But that's a rather... special? case. Idk.
Anyway, I learned a lot about asexuality (and still would shove myself more in the demi direction 80% of the time) and I met many amazing people. And I know how much of a struggle it can be when people constantly try to tell you that sex and desire are parts of "being human".
That's just bullshit.
Don't let anyone ever tell you you're less human because of that. That's it. Might bit a bit personal here, but it had to be said.
I love you all!