Somehow there were guest rooms in Omega’s world, and Yaz was now sitting in hers. Perhaps he’d willed them into existence for them both, after he’d finished his story? She was glad that he’d made them, however long ago that had been. She’d barely walked anywhere in the week that she’d been stuck in lockdown, and now she’d run and climbed across windows before being shouted at. She was exhausted. She needed to call it a day.
It felt oddly ordinary in the guest room. Plain stone walls, a proper bed. Like staying in a castle long ago. After everything that had happened, it almost felt normal. Except it was all made of antimatter, of course, the pillows and blankets. Even she was. Even her mind. She was thinking antimatter thoughts inside her antimatter brain.
Although Yaz was very tired, it was hard to sleep. The last time she was in bed she’d been attacked by a plaster man, his claws outstretched towards her. She’d needed the Doctor to save her, but the man had been part of the Doctor all along.
It was hard to admit that she hadn’t been entirely surprised.
When they’d first met, Yaz had thought the world of the Doctor. She’d reminded her of someone she’d met a while back. Who’d kept her going. She’d tried to be hopeful, after that– the Doctor reminded her of the person she wanted to be.
But travelling meant she’d found out more about the Doctor, and more about herself. Neither of them were quite the people she thought they were. There was Yaz stuff and Doctor stuff, and neither of them spoke about either. It was all still there, though, bubbling under the surface. They’d met a god who’d shown them their worst nightmares. It was all stuff they already knew, and never said.
Ryan had already talked to her before that, though. When the Doctor was somewhere, far away enough not to hear. Told her he’d always been afraid to ask the Doctor about the future of Earth. That she’d know about it, of course she’d know– that she didn’t really talk about it because she knew they wouldn’t like what they heard. And not long after that they’d seen a future where their planet was dead, and now there was a virus that felt like the end of the world–
Of course she’ll know somewhere they can cure the cancer, Yaz heard Graham saying in her head. You don’t like to ask, do you?
Yaz stuff, Doctor stuff. There were rules you had to follow. It didn’t matter for Grace, of course, or anyone else who died.
People thought Yaz had faith in the Doctor because they didn’t know what having faith really meant. That wasn’t true. The Doctor was only a person, and people could really mess up.
Yaz lay in her bed deep inside Omega’s kingdom, her true feelings masked, her still face not betraying her rage.