The Doctor squinted upwards at the chilled rain leaking through the thatched roof of the small hut.
He shivered as he pulled the rough blanket tighter around him and his dozing wife, Rose. She instinctively cuddled that tiny bit closer to his rail thin body and sighed. A icy drop of water splashed onto the tip of his nose and he rolled his eyes; this was so them! With a put upon sigh, he carefully edged them further away from the new drip.
"You could try apologizin'," Rose murmured before opening her eyes a crack.
She swiveled her head slightly to gaze at her damp and miserable husband. Another drop of cold water impacted the bridge of his nose and he sneezed.
"Why should I? It's her fault!" he grumbled, sorely.
"No, you were the one who insisted that she bring us to this planet and she knew it was not a good idea."
'But Rose, how was I to know that this version of Shible was not a paradise planet like the one in our old universe?" he whined, looking just a touch on the embarrassed side.
"She warned ya' as much. Ya need to man up and tell 'er your sorry! She'll keep us locked out until you do." It was Rose's turn to sneeze and she purposely wiped her nose on the Doctor's t-shirt.
"Oi," he exclaimed is distaste, "no need to get nasty."
"Doctor! If ya' don't go right this minute an apologize there will be no sex for two weeks!"
The Doctor leaned back with a shocked expression on his narrow face, eyes wide and unblinking. When he spoke, his voice was high and squeaky.
"What? You can't be serious! Our vacation is two weeks long, Rose! That defeats the purpose of getting away from the kids to have a romantic holiday!"
"Well then, I reckon you best get out there an grovel in the mud."
The Doctor had become quite use to indulging in loving escapades with his lovely wife. Even after two babies, he thought she was the most beautiful creature that he had ever seen. The faint stretch marks beckoned him to lick each separate one and her slightly rounded belly was a joy to nip. Sex was a retreat for him, took his mind away from his regrets and felted so damned wonderful! He had learned that when she issued the 'no sex until...' threat, she was in earnest.
Several drops of chilled water splashed onto his wilted fringe and he sighed in total defeat. He gently pushed her away from his body as he stood up and tugged his shirt down over the band of his Bermuda shorts. Rose grabbed his portion of the blanket and wrapped it around her tired body.
"'K," he mumbled as he left the leaky hut and wandered off through the heavy rainfall.
The TARDIS was exactly 50 meters away and he trudged through the thick mud towards her, managing to slip twice without falling into the muck. He turned around to look back at the hut and saw Rose standing in the doorway; she was flappy her hands as she sent a mental, Go on, Doctor, through their bond.
Right, he thought back as he walked up to the blue police box. With a deep sigh, he gently dropped his forehead to rest on her warm and vibrating hull.
"'M sorry, you were right and I was wrong. Please unlock the door."
She ignored him.
The Doctor ran his hands through his soaked hair before pulling both hands down his face. He was shivering and not in the mood to deal with her cheek.
"Please, please, please," he whined, "I really, really, really am sorry I hurt your feelings! Of course you are a brilliant girl and knew the truth of this planet. I was a total git not to listen to you!"
The TARDIS hummed a question at him and he took a deep breathe. She was just as testy as her mother and he pushed himself back from the door, his eyes wide.
"WHAT? What? You can't be serious!"
The TARDIS gave a mental shrug and closed herself off from him. He stared at his ship for fifty-three seconds before trying to wipe the rain from his eyes.
"Fine," he grumbled as he dropped to the ground on his knees and kissed the bottom edge of the doorway. "I will never ever hit your control console with the rubber mallet again. In fact, I will toss it out the door once you let us in!"
He felt a pleased mental smirk from his ship and the door slowly swung inwards, spilling golden light onto his soaked body. Standing up, he turned around to call out to Rose and leapt up and back in terror and shock; he uttered a very un-manly squeal. Raising a shaking hand up to cover his heart, he stared at Rose who had been standing close behind.
"Rose! You scared me half to death!"
His voice was quaking and several octaves higher than normal. Then he frowned.
"You saw and heard everything, I reckon?
She smirked at him as she regally walked past his shaking body and into the interior of the TARDIS. He stood motionless and tried to slow down his rapidly beating heart.
"Doctor," Roses voice wafted out of the warm interior of their time ship, "lets go. I wanna shower, a hot cuppa and a trip to a planet where it doesn't rain."
"Does this mean we can...you know....engage in liberal amounts of physical pleasure again?" he asked hopefully.
"After we land on a warm an dry planet that has never heard of mud."
Pushing himself away from his ship, he bitterly eyed the grayish mud coating his knees and lower legs. Rivulets of water had cut channels through the sticky stuff as it ran down his legs. With a grunt, he stared at his ship who was feeling enormously pleased with herself. He entered the TARDIS, shut the door, and climbed up the stairs leaving water and mud in his wake. He felt a wave of alarm and distaste from his vessel as he strode over to the console.
"Serves you right," he muttered as he set coordinates for the vortex.
The rain was letting up outside and a yellowish sun began to peep through the thick clouds. It was quiet and peaceful until a squeal of pain was heard from within the blue police box. Three seconds later, the door opened and a rubber mallet flew out to splash into a large puddle of water. The door slammed shut and five seconds later there was a dull thud followed by a strangled, trumpeting sound. The ship started fading in and out before disappearing completely.
Not far from where the TARDIS had landed was a large sign with bright red and gold lettering:
Welcome to Shible! Where the weather is perfect 451 days out of 453! Please enjoy your stay!