“You do know you’re my best friend ever, don’t you?” Ianto mumbled into Tosh’s hair as they sat propped against each other on his sofa, watching a Star Trek marathon on TV.
“Mm hm,” Tosh agreed, nodding her head, her hair making Ianto’s nose tickle. “You too. Mine, I mean.” They were both more than a bit tipsy from the wine they were drinking. Tosh took another sip from her glass, then sat up straight so suddenly that Ianto toppled sideways and slid down behind her. It took him a moment to push himself upright again and get back to how they’d been sitting before.
“Why’d you do that?” he asked.
“I had a thought,” Tosh explained.
“Oh.” Ianto was silent for a minute, and then asked, “What was it?”
“What was what?” Tosh looked up at Ianto’s chin.
“Oh, that. What about Jack?”
“Jack? I don’t know. What about Jack?”
“Well, isn’t he your best friend?”
Ianto considered that. “No, Jack’s my…” he fumbled for the right term. “Jack,” he said finally. He thought some more while picking Tosh’s hair out of his mouth. “I mean we’re friends, more than friends, but I can’t talk to him about the things I talk to you. About.”
“Jack. Makes him big headed, and it’s big enough already. If it gets any bigger his hair won’t fit.” Ianto frowned worriedly at that thought.
“Ohhhhhh!” Tosh nodded sagely. “That would be bad.”
“Mmmm. Hey!” Ianto nudged Tosh with his shoulder, almost knocking her over. “Look! It’s my favourite episode!” he was pointing at the TV.
“Mine too! Best ever, ‘cause Tribbles are brilliant!” Tosh waved her glass, nearly spilling the contents.
“Yeah.” Ianto grinned. “Jack’s hair’s like a Tribble.” He leant closer to Tosh. “If I stroke it, he purrs,” he whispered conspiratorially.
“Really? Wow! Maybe he’s part Tribble!” Tosh suggested.
“Could be. Probably lots of crossbreeding in the future. I mean, he’s mostly human, looks it anyway, all the usual bits, but who knows? Could be all sorts in there. Best bits of everything. If I built my ideal man, he’d look just like Jack.”
“You don’t need to though, you’ve got him already!”
“I have, haven’t I? Lucky me! What about you? What would your ideal man look like?”
“Um, Johnny Depp, or maybe Robert Downey Jr, because Tony Stark is really smart, and smart is very sexy and I like the beard.”
“He hasn’t got a beard,” Tosh said sadly. “But I love him anyway. Most of the time. Can’t have everything,” she sighed.
“I s’pose not; that would be greedy.”
They fell silent, eyes glued to the TV as Tribbles rained down on Captain Kirk’s head, and that was how Jack found them, hours later, still sitting propped against each other and fast asleep.
Smiling to himself, he decided it would probably be best to let them sleep it off, so he covered them with a blanket and went to bed, hoping the two friends wouldn’t be too hung over in the morning.