On the Subject of Eggnog Liberally Laced with Jack
He was a superior being, in no way slave to any self-destructive y-chromosomed compulsion to flaunt his manhood in a primitive male bonding rite like chugging eggnog then body-surfing the aurora borealis and skiboarding Ganymede's subterranean oceans, wearing Rose's bikini and Jackie's Sunday hat, and singing Toucha Toucha Touch Me.
For what he'd done he had no good and noble reason. It had been a bet, a dare, a questionably sentient thoroughly silly thing, and there was nothing to justify or even excuse getting himself into this–
Didn't those two words explain it all.2. On the Wall
Almost starkers!!!! Shagadelic bloke arsing off
Why Rose put up with that alien's antics was beyond her, 'course in between he did save the world a lot. And Rose was happy.
He wasn't half yummy, and Jackie hoped what they say about fingers was true– she didn’t see nappies and Sunday dinner with the in-laws in Rose's future.
When he walked in, Jackie seized his ears, yanked, and pinched.
"There's my thank-you." "Jackie?"
"You pinched my best hat and arsed around in it. All our Church friends saw you."
"Because I pinched your hat you attacked my ears?!"
"It's my right and duty to give eye-for-eye, and those ears deserved a good pinching 'n' yanking. What'd'you have to say to that?!"
He grinned. "I also wore Rose's bikini."
He ran, but he was laughing all the way downstairs.
Rose thought: :D4. Brooching the Subject of Eggnog, Again
It was curiously familiar, then suddenly clear in a time-delay-recollection kind of way
This was not something to forget unless he'd been game to forget Jack as well. He should've left himself a clue, a little tinkling bell or sledgehammer of warning: Under no circumstances drink eggnog with Harkness, which apparently always leads to Skiboarding Slag competitions, especially after saving Reality – something they seem to be doing a lot of now.
At least he regenerated with better dress sense. Jackie's pearls and brooch complement his eyes. The Holly Golightly look IS classic.
Still, by now he really should know better.
5. The Last Word on the Subject