How Jackie Tyler Learned Her Daughter Was Shaggin' a Bloody Alien

by Caedmon [Reviews - 11]

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  • All Ages
  • None
  • Fluff, General, Humor, Romance, Standalone

Author's Notes:
Just a fun little one-shot.

Jackie turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying off, wrapping her hair in a towel and wrapping herself in a dressing gown. She poked her head out of the door, making sure that ruddy alien wasn’t around to see. He’d apparently stayed the night on that blasted ship Rose loved so much, so she dashed across the hall to her room. Just in case.

It was seven in the morning, and she yawned. She was never up this early (she very rarely rolled out of bed before ten), but the Doctor had brought her Rose home for a weekend visit. Jackie wanted to take advantage of all the time she could get, and had planned a day of shopping and mani/pedis. Girl stuff. Stuff the Doctor wouldn’t want to follow Rose around for. Rose had never been one to sleep terribly late, and Jackie wanted to be ready to go when her daughter woke. She sat down at her vanity and set about combing out her hair, then turned on the blowdryer, shaking it out and drying it straight.

She turned off the dryer and heard muffled talking, then a giggle. Ah, Rose must be up already, then. But who was she talking to? Was she watching telly?

Jackie heard the rich baritone of the Doctor, his voice muted by the walls, and sighed. Of course it would be him. The two were practically joined at the hip. Never saw one without the other, it seemed. She wouldn’t be surprised if Rose rode around on his back from time to time, the two of them were so close. She’d wondered more than once if they were more than the friends they claimed to be, but both denied any romance.

Rose giggled again, and Jackie’s ears perked up. Dressing quickly, she cracked open her door.

Doctor,” she heard Rose say from the kitchen with mock exasperation.

“What?” he replied, all innocence and teasing. Jackie had never heard him like that.

“My mum is just down the hall. She’ll hear us.”

“You said she slept til at least mid-morning. It’s early yet.” Jackie heard another giggle, and the Doctor’s voice was muffled when he went on. “I missed you last night, love.”

Love? Jackie narrowed her eyes and waited.

“It was one night, Doctor.” Rose’s voice turned breathy. “Surely you could entertain yourself for a few hours. You had centuries without me.”

“Mmm,” was the Doctor’s only audible response, and Rose giggled. “Gets lonely when you’re not around. Can’t sleep. I waited as long as I could before I came up.”

“What do you do while I sleep, then?”

“Wait for you to wake up,” he replied and Rose giggled. The Doctor paused, and Jackie thought she heard a deep intake of breath. ”Can’t get enough of your scent, Rose. You smell like ambrosia and heaven.”

Well, Jackie thought. That settles that. Rose is shagging an alien.

“Right hound dog, you are.” Jackie heard her snicker then sigh. “And a horndog, as well.” The Doctor chuckled, but didn’t deny the accusation. “Mum’s going to have kittens if she comes in here and sees you with your octopus hands.” There was nothing after that but the unmistakable sound of kissing.

Right. Jackie straightened her shoulders and put her hand on the doorknob. She had no idea if she was looking forward to or dreading what she was about to do, but she rather thought she might be looking forward to it. It was no fun hearing Rose being groped in her kitchen by a bloke, but at least she’d scare the pants off that alien her daughter was apparently shagging.

Then again, she was ready to slap the taste out of his alien mouth for touching her little girl.

“I love you,” he said then, and Jackie froze before she took a step. “I love you so much, Rose. Never leave me, please.”

Jackie leaned back against the doorjamb. She wanted to charge in there and tell Rose that he was just like any other bloke, he’d say anything to get into her knickers. She wanted to tell Rose to kick him out and stay with her, where she’d be safe from the old lecher. She wanted to go in there and slap him silly.

But she didn’t. He sounded so...raw and honest. Devoted. Besotted. The bloke really was in love with her daughter.

More kissing, then Rose said in a voice so low Jackie barely heard it: “Never, Doctor. I’m yours, always yours.”

And there it was. All thoughts of bodily harm to the Doctor flew from her mind. Twenty years as Rose’s mum, and her daughter had never sounded more sincere in her life. She’d never sounded like that when she talked to Mickey or - she shuddered at just the name in her mind - Jimmy.

Jackie wiped away a stray tear. She’d known the day would come when Rose would fall completely in love with someone, she just never thought it would be an alien who dragged her all over the cosmos, getting her into trouble.

“M’gonna marry you, Rose. For real this time,” the Doctor said, and his voice was as quiet as Rose’s had been.

Jackie narrowed her brows. This time?

“M’gonna make you m’wife, claim you forever. Soon as you say yes.”

There was a smile in Rose’s voice. “Can’t say yes to a question that ain’t been asked yet, Doctor.”

“Soon. Not gonna ask you in your mum’s kitchen. Got plans, me.”

“Oh yeah? Is that so?”

“Aye,” the Doctor said, and there were more sounds of kissing.

Well, that really did it. If he was proposing marriage, it must be that the alien was in love with her daughter. He wasn’t just saying pretty words to string her along.

Jackie wiped her eyes one more time and stepped away from the door, walking to her vanity and checking her makeup. It wouldn’t do for them to see she’d been crying.

Besides, this still might be fun.

Jackie opened the door to her room, quiet as a mouse, and tiptoed towards the kitchen. Peeking in, she saw the Doctor and Rose deeply involved in a snog. Rose’s fingers were carded through the Doctor’s short hair and the Doctor had both arms wrapped around Rose, one hand splayed on her back beneath her vest, pulling her so close Jackie couldn't have fit a fifty pence between them.

She stood up straight and walked casually into the kitchen.

“Morning, you two.”

Rose and the Doctor jumped apart so quickly it was comical. The Doctor swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, but only managed to further smear the lipstick there. Jackie didn’t miss the smudge of lipstick on his neck, either. Rose’s lips were swollen, her cheeks bright red and her eyes downcast.. Jackie smirked at the two of them as she walked by.

“You made tea yet?” she asked, seemingly unconcerned.

“Mum…”

“I have that blend you liked.” Jackie rummaged through the cupboard. “Can’t seem to put my hand to it just now, though.”

“Mum, it’s not-”

“Doctor,” Jackie interrupted, “will you be joining Rose and I today, since you can’t stand to be apart from her?”

Jackie smirked, pulling down a mug as she watched the Doctor’s ears flush bright red. Oh, this really was fun.

“Jackie, um...I need to...I’m-”

“What?” Jackie challenged, spinning around and leaning against the counter. “What are you? You’re hungry? Thirsty? Tired? An alien? Shaggin’ my daughter? You’re what, Doctor?”

“Mum, the Doctor and I-”

“Oh, save it, Rose,” she waved her hand. “I heard everything.”

Rose’s eyes grew wide. “Everything?

“Enough to be getting on with, yeah,” Jackie replied, pulling her mug of tea in front of her and blowing on it. “Seems you two are right smitten with each other.”

“I love her, Jackie,” the Doctor said - rather bravely, Jackie thought.

“So I heard,” Jackie said cooly. “Gonna marry her, too, I hear?”

“Blimey, you really did hear everything,” Rose muttered.

“Told you I did. Now, Doctor,” she turned her eyes back to him. “I assume you’ll be asking me for permission to marry my daughter?”

The Doctor looked caught, and Jackie didn’t ease up on her stare but hid her smile behind her mug.

“I, er, hadn’t really...”

“Make you a deal, Doctor. You bring my daughter home a couple times a month and promise I can see her get married, and I’ll give you my blessing. I won’t even slap you.”

Rose’s eyes lit up. “Mum, you mean it?”

“‘Course I do. Said so, didn’t I?”

“You’re happy about this?”

Jackie contemplated over a sip of her tea. “Not exactly happy, no. I’d hoped you’d marry a bloke closer to home so I could see you whenever I want. I miss you, Rose. It’s hard without you, you’re all I have left and you’re not around. It’ll take a bit of getting used to, having an alien for a son-in-law. But I know good and well that fighting against this,” she gestured between Rose and the Doctor, “wouldn’t get me anywhere. You’ll run off and do it anyway, and I’ll never see you again. I’d be better off to accept it.”

Jackie only had time to open her arms, holding the mug out from her body, and then Rose was there, throwing her arms around her mum’s neck. She wrapped one arm around her daughter and felt the Doctor ease the cup from her hand, setting it down so that Jackie could fully embrace Rose.

“Thank you, Mum,” Rose murmured. “Thank you.”

“Nothin’ to thank me for. If he really loves you and you really love him, well, I can’t stand in the way of that. I just want to be there.” She stepped back from Rose a bit and her tone changed to something much more severe. She wagged her finger at the Doctor as she said, “You promise me I’ll get to see my daughter as a bride.”

“I promise, Jackie,” the Doctor said. “Thank you.”

Jackie nodded in answer then looked at Rose, smiling and patting her cheek. “Go on, then. Eat some brekkie and have a cup of tea. Looks like we’ve got some shopping to do, if we’re going to plan a wedding.”