He sees it in his dreams, no his nightmares really. That moment where his hands wrapped around her pale, delicate throat. He can still perfectly picture the fear in her eyes--the tears. The way they fluttered shut when he started to squeeze her lovely neck hard. Her own hands clawing into his skin, trying to pull him off as she chokes and sputters.
He knows, with all his heart, that she knocked his hands away, pushing him back, gasping for precious oxygen. Then going on to destroying the very Minds, the so called higher beings that were controlling his own.
But in his dreams she's not strong enough.
He squeezes and her beautiful bright eyes are full of panic. Her air supply forever cut off. Her body getting limper and weaker. And then there's a snap that shatters his heart, and the only noise that's left is Barbara wheezing his name...before her head falls back...her arms flopping to her sides...her body falling to the ground in a crumpled heap as her precious breath is stolen from her.
He killed her..
Her head twists to an impossible angle, blood pooling from her mouth, tears sliding down ashen cheeks, and with a gurgled whisper asks him: "Why...why...why...I loved you..why..I-Ian.."
And he wakes up.
Screaming that he was sorry, tears he spilling down his cheeks in a sudden burst of emotion he didn't think he was capable of.
Warm arms wrap around him then. Lips pressed against his temple, and he turns to see her, Alive and breathing and his.
He stares at her for a moment before he bundles her up in his embrace, clinging to his wife so tight so she won't disappear. She knows this nightmare well, she has one the mirrors it. She kisses him, very gently, and promises over and over that everything is alright, it would forever be alright.
The nightmare was over.