Don't Fade Away

by thefirstintimeandspace [Reviews - 3]

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  • All Ages
  • None
  • Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

His name is Ian Chesterton, he remembers that much. He is eighty-six--no no...ninety. He is ninety years old. He has two children; John and Saman--sorry no, Sabetha. Little Sabetha.. He loves his children, his little boy and baby girl. He was a science teacher, he adored teaching and so he never really stopped. He lived in Cardiff--god no, he lives in London. And his wife is.....

His..his wife is..

She's...um...

His....wife....

He doesn't remember..

He never remembers until someone places her photograph in front of him. Only then does he remember her mossy coloured eyes, or her brilliant smile, or how she liked to always have her hair in a bouffant style. But that's physical attributes. Something that's replicated in a picture so that memory can be preserved. It cannot keep her laugh, or her favourite colour, or singing voice, or the crease in her forehead that would appear whenever she got worried. He remembers sometimes..little snippets so he writes them down to remember more.
He just...can't remember her, his wife...his beautiful.....what was her name again?

Every night he took to sobbing himself to sleep; tears of pain and shame. She was his wife, someone who clearly loved him unconditionally and for the love of god he just can't remember her. If there was a heaven, she'd be looking down in tears. When he did go, she'd want nothing to do with him. His wife, his lovely wife...she must have loved him, he hopes..

He loves her...
He can't forget his love for her, never ever...

She'll hate him, now, for forgetting her, he's sure. He...wasn't supposed to forget...

He PROMISED her, he wouldn't forget!!!

He loved her!! He loved her more than anything, and he forgot!!

Love, I'm sorry..

Her name was...her name was Mrs Chesterton..

I'm so so sorry...

She...had green eyes and lovely brown hair and she was so pretty..so perfect...

I-I didn't want to...I-I-I didn't mean to..

Wasn't she?

He doesn't even remember how she died.

Till one days there's a tape recorder. Labeled; 'My Barbara'

Was that her? His...his Barbara? Barbara Chesterton?

Yes...
Barbara...

My Barbara

Perhaps it was her singing? Or a little message for his birthday?

The audio crackled, and there was a beep. A phone message, it seemed. Why would she record a phone message? Ridiculous. But then she started talking..and he remembered.
He remembered because she was in the hospital and had called home to speak with him. But he had gone out. Why did he go out!? She was sick, wasn't she? Very sick..she thought she was going to die...

'Ian?.. Ian, I-I'm frightened..'

Cancer...
That's right..
His Barbara, at age sixty-three, had cancer. She was so frail but so radiant and perfect. She died in his arms, and what did she say?

'Please don't let me go..'

He let her go...

He...let his Barbara...go...

He was so scared of losing her voice, but then he lost all of her...
Every...last...bit…

There are days where Ian Chesterton holds a worn, cream coloured jumper close to his chest. His wife's jumper, you see. And his wife is gone now,the children have left. It’s just him..

Eh? Oh yes, yes...his wife!
Her name...

Her....name...is....

He crumples to the floor, the jumper tight in his grasp, and he sobs and weeps for a woman he now barely knows.

But, who used to mean the universe to him..

Her name is.......


He wished he remembered.