---Just a reminder Will, Anna's nap is just before tea and Gwen wants me to remind you to let her sleep with her stuffed panda and the creepy sock monkey blanket. You're so sweet to take this on.
-It's OK Rose. It will be good practice when little miss or master shows up. It's not like Rhys planned to throw his back out when you two girls were planning on going out for the afternoon.
-women, ladies. Whatever. Have fun.
-Rose, are all babies this noisy?
...How noisy? What's going on there?
-Anna has decided that the birds outside are talking to her and she's answering them. I mean, it is sort of brilliant, but it's been going on for an hour
...Look, is she unhappy?
-I don't think so.
...Then let it be.
-This was all much easier with the TARDIS translating.
...The TARDIS translated baby? You have got to be kidding me!
-This diaper smells like a dalek died in there, twice. What in the hell has Gwen been feeding her? Whatever it is, we are NEVER, EVER feeding it to our baby.
---Yoghurt and pears.
-I knew there were even more reasons to hate pears.
---Could be the yoghurt?
-Oh no, it's the pears alright. Pears are bad and out to get me.
---You are paranoid about a fruit?
-Rose, she's crying. I mean, really, really crying. Like "I am going to explode" crying. What do I do now?
...Why don't you ask the TARDIS : }
-Ha! When are you and Gwen coming back? Seriously though, what do I do? I went through hungry, wet, tired, and bored like Gwen said. I think the baby is just plain ticked off. I can't do this. Babies are out to get me. Give me pears any day.
...Sorry, was in the car park, then the elevator. You're so cute when you get all beggy. Is she still crying?
-Nope, it was either a cry for her sippy cup, dummy, or a Jammy Dodger. She now has all three. I think we're good for now. Parenting human babies isn't so hard.
...Glad you think so SuperDad. I'm turning the phone on silent, movie's about to start. Love you.
From: Gwen Williams email@example.com
To: Rose Tyler-Noble firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Your husband
I don't know if I've ever seen anything so adorable as your husband and my daughter passed out on the floor after overdosing on marmalade. I guess the sugar rush only takes you so far. Hope the orange stains came out of the upholstery. If it's any consolation, the brownish stains on my settee are NOT marmalade.
I wonder who napped longer, Anna or Will?
It was great to get with you today, thanks again to Will for babysitting! Love, Gwen