Tony bounced happily in his seat as he regaled Wilf and Harriet with the events of the day, the two of them exchanging fond smiles with each enthusiastic tale. The little boy could hardly contain his excitement as he relayed his plans for the new arrival.
“…and then, we’re gonna play Star Wars with the lightsabers I got last week–Grandpa, ya gotta see it! Ya press this small silver button and then it lights up…mine’s green. They are so cool. They don’t make noise though. Ya gotta do the ‘shume’ noise yourself, but it’s still awesome,” Tony said, his eyes sparkling with delight.
“I think it will be a while before you can play lightsabers with the baby, kiddo. Maybe John and Uncle Mickey can play with you?” Wilf suggested, looking back at Tony through the rearview mirror.
Tony frowned and shook his head. “They can’t. They’re not allowed. They were playing with ‘em and broke a lamp. Aunt Martha and Rose were really mad. They said they were too old to be actin’ like ‘bloody idiots.’”
“Anthony Tyler, watch how you talk! That is not polite,” Harriet reprimanded as Wilf chuckled and she tried to force back the smile threatening to show.
“But that’s what Rose and Aunt Martha said, Grandma! Then Aunt Martha started yellin’ and then Rose put her hands over my ears and took me outta the room.”
“Yes, well, not everything bears repeating,” Harriet admonished.
Nearly ten minutes later, they arrived home. Tony threw open the passenger door and eagerly rushed up the steps, anxious to play with the new games Wilf had recently purchased for him.
“C’mon. C’mon,” he said, jumping up and down impatiently.
“Be patient, Tony,” Harriet said before turning to Wilf and murmuring, “I swear it’s like having John all over again.”
Wilf chuckled. “That such a bad thing?”
“No,” Harried said with a smile. “I’m just out of practice.”
“Well, we have plenty of time to get used to it again,” he said, putting an arm around her shoulder and gently kissing her cheek.
Tony was in the kitchen helping Harriet bake cupcakes for a children’s charity function that she was helping sponsor. They had just placed the last batch in the oven and, as promised, Harriet gave him the bowl to lick clean. He had a spoonful of batter in his mouth when Jack’s voice unexpectedly sounded throughout the hall.
Tony excitedly slid off his seat and rushed towards the foyer.
“Uncle Jack!” he exclaimed, leaping at him with the spoon still in hand.
Jack smiled brightly and picked him up, tossing him into the air and causing Tony to shriek with delight.
“Jack, be careful with him,” Harriet said protectively.
Jack inwardly rolled his eyes, but acquiesced and put Tony back on the floor. “So…how’s my favorite nephew?” he said, ruffling his hair.
“Awesome,” Tony said and took another long lick to the spoon. “You want some batter? It’s chocolate,” he asked, holding out his spoon for Jack to share.
Jack chuckled. “Maybe some you haven’t slobbered all over.”
Tony shrugged his shoulders and took Jack’s hand, leading him to kitchen. He went to the silverware drawer and grabbed a spoon for Jack, then plopping himself down in the chair across from Jack.
“Where’s Aunt Donna?”
“She’s picking up some last minute stuff for the baby’s room. I talked to John earlier and he said you were over here, so I thought I’d come over and hang out with you for a while.”
“Awesome,” Tony said with a wide smile.
“We gotta work on your vocabulary,” Jack chuckled.
Harriet entered the kitchen and cleared her throat. “Tony? Did you forget to do something?”
Tony furrowed his brow in thought. “Ummm…”
She crossed her arms. “What did we talk about earlier today?”
“And what did I say about making messes?”
“To not to,” Tony mumbled.
“Or at least pick up after them. I believe your room upstairs looks like a cyclone went through it. So, upstairs you go, young man.”
Tony’s shoulder sunk as he began to protest. “But Grandma, Uncle Jack and I–“
“No excuses. Now hop to it.”
“C’mon, buddy,” Jack said with a smile, gently tugging Tony off the seat. “I’ll help ya. The faster we get it done, the sooner we can stuff our faces with sweets. Sound like a plan?”
Tony’s face brightened and he rushed up the stairs. Jack turned to follow and met Harriet’s slightly disapproving look.
“What?” Jack said with a grin.
Harriet couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto her face. “You’re incorrigible, Jack,” she said with a faint shake of her head.
“Yeah, but you still love me,” he said and placed a quick peck to her cheek before heading after Tony.
Harriet hadn’t been exaggerating when she said Tony’s room looked like it had been hit by a cyclone. It looked like one giant overturned toy chest. Jack was in the midst of a sea of Legos, when Tony piped up.
“Yeah, bud?” he answered as he looked around for the box to put them in.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Lay it on me.”
“How did the baby get in Aunt Martha’s belly?”
Jack’s search immediately ceased and he turned to face the little boy. “What?”
“Why does everybody keep saying that when I ask?” Tony huffed. “John wouldn’t tell me and then I asked Rose when we went to get ice cream and she did the same thing. Is it a secret?”
Jack grinned as he imagined John’s reaction to Tony’s question. He had no doubt Rose’s reaction was amusing, but he knew that John’s would be priceless.
“No, it’s not a secret. It’s just…complicated.”
Tony tilted his head to the side. “Why?”
“Uh, well…it’s a grownup thing.”
“Do you not know?”
“No, I definitely know,” Jack laughed. “It’s just…”
“Jason told me that you get babies from kissing.”
“Well, you don’t ‘get babies.’ It’s not like the flu…it’s…okay, when two people really love each other, sometimes they…have a baby.”
Tony wrinkled his brow. “So if ya love someone, ya have a baby? I love lots of people. Am I gonna have a baby?”
Seeing the complete sincerity on Tony’s face as he asked the question, Jack stifled his laughter.
“No, buddy…you’re not gonna have a baby. Only girls have babies.”
“But how?” Tony asked in impatient frustration.
“Okay, it’s like this…when a man and wo-..."
“Jack Harkness–what do you think you’re doin’?”
Both Jack and Tony turned to see Donna standing in the doorway, arms crossed and eyebrow arched.
“Uncle Jack’s tellin’ me how Aunt Martha got a baby,” Tony said happily.
Donna’s eyes bugged out of her head before she turned and glared at Jack.
“I hadn’t actually told him anything yet,” Jack said sheepishly. “But he wanted to know…”
“He’s seven, Jack. If h-..."
“Eight,” Tony said interjected, sitting up straight and proud.
“If he asked you to go outside and teach ‘im how to drive a car, would you do it?”
Jack cocked his head to the side. “Well, the kid does have mad Mario Kart skills.”
Before he knew it, Donna slapped him upside the head. “You are not tellin’ a seven year old-..."
“EIGHT!” Tony reminded emphatically.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” she said, looking at Tony and then quickly turning her fierce eyes back to Jack. “You are not tellin’ an eight year-old about that…we clear?”
“What’s the big deal, Donna? He’s gotta find out eventually.”
“Yes…’eventually’ being the key word here. He’s se-…eight. We need to table this for a couple years.”
“Whatever. I think you’re being just a tad dramatic,” Jack muttered.
“Tell ya what–when we have a baby, then you can tell him. Deal?”
Jack couldn’t help the smile that overtook his features as he contemplated her terms.