Of idiots, closets and mini skirts

by fate_incomplete [Reviews - 1]

  • All Ages
  • None
  • Fluff, Het, Humor, Standalone

It had to be the smallest closet in the universe. Of course it did, with the way his luck was running today.

First the TARDIS had gone all timey wimey, hurtling across the universe haphazardly. Then he had fallen and bashed his head on the console. Fortunately his head had hit the brakes, successfully forestalling their headlong rush. Unfortunately, it had left him half concussed, and left both him and Amy stranded on some back water planet run by pirates.

After some hurried explanations, failed use of his psychic paper and far too much running about, he found himself hiding in a tiny closet, with Amy pressed up against him. An entirely unpleasant situation that was just a little too pleasant at the same time.

"I told you to push the blue button," the Doctor said for the fifteenth time.

"I did push the blue button!"

"Big blue flashy one, kinda hard to miss."

"I did push the stupid blue button," Amy hissed somewhere near his ear, her warm breath doing strange things to him he'd rather not think about given the situation, but that snuck into his thoughts none the less.

"Well it must have been the wrong blue button, or we wouldn't be hiding in a closet from space pirates."

"Well maybe you should be a little more specific the next time you break the TARDIS."

"I didn't break her, she was doing just fine until you came back."

"Come for a nice picnic on Santini Prime he says..."


"Be back in a jiff he says."

"Technically we still could be back..."

"And I did push the blue button! You just stupid well crashed her..."

The Doctor squirmed around until he could get a hand free to press his fingers to her lips.

"What?" she murmured against his fingers

"Shhh," the Doctor replied, nodding his head towards the room outside the best he could in the cramped space.

Amy's lips stilled beneath his fingers as she turned her attention to the noises outside. Someone was coming closer; in perhaps their first piece of good luck all day, whoever it was didn't appear to hear the muffled noises coming from the closet. They did however turn on the screens in the security station outside. The Doctor heard a scraping noise, which he assumed to be the pirate dragging a chair across the floor to settle in front of the security monitors.

The sound of some sporting event, or perhaps something a little less innocent, it was hard to tell, drifted through the closet doors. Well that's just great, the Doctor thought to himself. So much for making their escape unnoticed any time soon.

He realised he still had his fingers to Amy's lips. He could see her looking up at him in the slither of light sneaking between the closed doors. It took him yet another moment to realise he still hadn't moved them, fixated instead on the slight movement and soft brush of lips against his fingers, before he finally dropped his hand, accidently brushing the length of her arm as he did.

The incessant throb in the back of his head reminded him they needed to find a way out. Running from pirates didn't exactly go well with a concussion. He closed his eyes, trying to think of what to do. His thoughts kept drifting though. Not that it was entirely his fault. Miniskirts, Amy and confined spaces really weren't a good mix. Well at least not while there was a pirate sitting less than ten meters away.

The brush of Amy's leg against his own as she tried to stand more comfortably distracted him further, not that she seemed to notice.

"Distraction," he whispered.


"We need a distraction," he replied quietly.

He fumbled around, trying to reach the sonic inside his coat. Amy reached a hand up, slipping it beneath his coat. The feel of her fingers as she struggled to pull it out, making his vision blur slightly. No, it just the concussion, he tried to convince himself.

She managed to get the sonic and pass it to him.

The Doctor cleared his suddenly dry throat a little too loudly. Amy nudged him with her elbow, reminding him to shut his mouth. He messed clumsily with the settings on the sonic, before aiming it at one of the security monitors through the crack in the door.

The screen flickered a few times before going dark. The pirate stood, tapping the screen a few times, as he talked into his radio.

Amy leant closer to the Doctor, trying to peer through the crack to see what was happening. He bit the side of his cheek to stop an unwitting groan, as she pressed full length against him.

"He's leaving," she whispered a moment later.

"Hmm," the Doctor murmured, still fully distracted by her warmth.

Amy rolled her eyes before pushing the door open.

The Doctor adjusted his coat. "Yes, right, escape and all that."

"Do you have a plan?" Amy asked, as she crept over to the door, checking to see which direction the pirate had gone.

"When do I ever have a plan," the Doctor replied as he followed her. "Though I do have some thoughts on getting you a new wardrobe."

Ignoring the comment, Amy snuck down the corridor in the opposite direction to which the pirate had gone. The Doctor's attention was caught by the play of the light on her orange hair.

"Daft old idiot," he whispered to himself, as he rushed to catch up.