Author's Notes:
Inspired by one of Alex Kingston's interviews on The Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Disclaimer: I do not represent the creators of Doctor Who. Characters do not belong to me.

"Sorry, Doctor, but you know what she's like when she doesn't get her tea in the morning."

Rory the Roman followed the doctor into the kitchen. His wife snarled at them and began the motion to hurl the electric kettle across the room.

"Bloody thing's on the fritz again. Thought you said you'd fixed it," Amy said with a low growl.

Rory threw the Doctor a plaintive look.

"It's okay," the Doctor said, "I've got it all under control. Put the kettle down, Amy. I can take care of it. I'll give it a quick sonic and it'll be right as rain."

"Yeah, that's what you always say," Amy said. They glowered at each other for a tense moment. Rory let out long breath when Amy finally relinquished the kettle to the Doctor and sank into a nearby chair.

The Doctor gave a smirk of triumph then fiddled in his coat pocket for his sonic screwdriver. He pulled it out with a flourish and aimed it at the kettle.

Amy sat up straight in her chair. "Oh my God."

Rory blinked. "Doctor, what is that? Is that a..."

"Rory, shut up." Amy said. Her husband snapped his mouth closed even as his eyes continued to goggle.

"Um, Doctor," Amy said, "can I ask you something?"

The Doctor was pointing and wiggling his screwdriver at the kettle. "Yes? What?"

"What happened to your old sonic?"

"Er, yes. Bit of an accident, really. Long story. But that's okay - I've got a new one." He lifted it up to squint at it in the fluorescent light. "Haven't quite figured out all the modifications yet, but not to worry, won't take me long." One of the buttons he pressed made it jiggle.

Rory spluttered.

The Doctor continued to mash buttons in mounting frustration. "I can't seem to find the sonic setting."

Amy snorted. "Doctor, where exactly did you acquire this new, um, screwdriver?"

"Actually it's River's." The Doctor said as he banged it a few times on the counter. "Oh wait, here we go." He flipped a switch which set it to buzz at such a rate it shook him from hand to elbow.

"Good morning."

The three turned to see River Song swan into the kitchen.

River scanned the tableau, her red kimono as out of place in the Pond's kitchen as tulip in a daisy patch. Her eyes lit up when she saw the Doctor.

"Oh, I was wondering where that got to," she said with raised eyebrows.

"I was just trying to fix the kettle," the Doctor said, edging back towards the counter and holding the vibrating screwdriver defensively.

River leaned forward and plucked it out of his hand. "It's not a sonic, dear."

As she waltzed back out of the kitchen, leaving the Ponds open-mouthed and the Doctor frowning, she said over her shoulder, "I'll show you how it works later."