Tabloid Fodder

by bookishandi [Reviews - 7]

  • All Ages
  • None
  • Fluff, Het, Romance

Author's Notes:
Written for the TTU Ficathon, based on this picture as a prompt. The main conceit here is that our narrator is using a portable recorder to take voice notes (I'm thinking some sort of iPhone type deal). The numbers are time stamps. Any dialogue in italics is from characters the narrator is speaking with.

No copyright infringement intended...Doctor Who is property of the BBC. Enjoy!

12:30 31.8.2009
This thing on?

12:31 31.8.2009
Brilliant! Well, I’m taking my notes on this tonight. I’m freelancing for the Sport and Mirror and I’m bloody well determined to get my scoop and nab a full-time position. It’s Vitex’s annual End-of-Summer party–the Tylers throw a huge bash on their estate for everyone in corporate and R&D who can make it. Last year, there were over 300 people! Anyway, it’s the best party for getting gossip. The Tylers always show up–all of ‘em–and it’s way more casual than the Christmas gala or premieres. Of course, no press allowed. So I’ll be sneaking in as a member of staff. You want the real story, you ask the staff! Waiting for my contact to bring my uniform.

13:16 31.8.2009
Bloody... I was hoping for one of those maid get-ups, could use it again someday maybe. Instead I’ve got this hideous trouser and polo shirt outfit. The top’s maroon. Looks awful with my hair. Oh well, she told me the Tyler household has five people hired full-time staff. I’m one of five being hired for tonight. I’m a temping temp, what would my mum say? Actually, I don’t want to think ‘bout that.

15:20 31.8.2009
Talking while I’m driving. I’m hoping to get a good shot of the baby, Tony. He’s right cute, but they don’t let the tabloids see much of ‘im. Readers eat up babies. But the real scoop of the century: Rose Tyler and her new man! A quote or a picture of them snogging. Or fighting. Or drunk. Or all of the above! That would make my life. I mean, I work for the tabloids cause I like all that celebrity glitz. I’m fascinated by Rose, ‘cause she’s too good to be true. Those of us who think about these things, we’re not sure about her story. Long-lost daughter given up for adoption indeed and conveniently found about a year after Jackie surprisingly reappears indeed. And she doesn’t go to parties or clubs and she’s never dated a footballer or a TV star or even a lawyer. Then this mystery bloke shows up literally out of nowhere last year. They say his name is John Smith, but nobody actually names their kids that. On top of it, she calls him “Doctor,” not John. I don’t care if you’ve a doctorate or you’re a physician, you don’t call your boyfriend “Doctor” unless there’s some funny business going on.

15:35 31.8.2009
The staff is quite protective. That means either the Tylers are really quite nice–and nobody that rich is that nice–or there’s some good secrets to be found!

16:00 31.8.2009
The estate is gorgeous, but not too much. Lots of unexpected homey touches. Lots of photos, especially further in where guests might not go. I caught a few weird, older ones with Jackie and Rose that look like they’re from some old apartment. And they’re such chavs! There’s one with Jackie, Rose, John, and a fella called Mickey Smith–that bloke we’re pretty sure Rose was seeing for a while. Now Mickey was a bit of all right. John Smith is too skinny for words, Mickey’s more my style. Too bad he’s disappeared. I can’t imagine there’s any relation but John Smith did appear the same time Mickey Smith disappeared. I’d say it was impossible but a few years ago robots took over London, so. I was wondering if they’d somehow switched, but there they are in the same place. What the hell is a police box? Photo was cute, obviously not here at the estate. And there’s another of John and Rose making googly eyes at each other. Sickening. And the pink! Pete must’ve taken the pictures, he’s not in any of ‘em.

18:00 31.8.2009
Party’s started! Right on time.

18:15 31.8.2009
And there they are. Rose looks cute, but nothing designer. What the hell is John wearing?! Velvet blazer, good lord. I’m not even gonna start.

18:17 31.8.2009
Oh my God, story of the century! Pete just announced Rose and John are engaged! If I can just talk to them, get a congrats, maybe a bit of the story out of them…

18:23 31.8.2009
Well, they’re kind of disgustingly cute. Snapped a few pictures after the announcement. Someone should check her for papercuts–he’s skinnier in person, if that were possible. Now if I could just figure out a way to talk to 'em...

18:32 31.8.2009
Thanks. Oh…
Something wrong?
No, nope. Just didn’t recognize ya. You’re new, yeah? Just here for tonight?
Yeah. Sorry if I’m a little flustered. Party at the Tylers! I was really excited to maybe meet you.
Oh, we’re nothing special. Just regular folks. Though nobody wants to believe that.
Well, you’re kind of famous. Rich. And you’re sort of mysterious.
Ha! No, not really, I promise. You wouldn’t believe how normal I was.
Not anymore, though, yeah? Getting’ married. Congratulations! You two are really cute.
You can tell you’re really in love…you’ve been together a year now?
Something like that.
Well, that smile tells a story!
Let’s just say it wasn’t an easy road. Yeah? Never is, so they say. Whoever they are. Yeah. But I’m really happy, now. He's...well, you know.
Honestly, not really.
Right. Yeah. Sorry, new, first night! He's worth fighting for, I'll say that.
No, you're not mysterious at all! Well, congratulations again. But…oh, I was going to ask about your ring?
You don’t miss a thing, do ya?. Nah, I don’t need a ring to prove nothing. I’d be too afraid to lose it on the job. Lots of running.
Surely you’ll get something?
Maybe a band…Oh, Tony, don't…Sorry, gotta go. Talk to you later? Thanks for the ca...

18:40 31.8.2009
Dammit, she was really sweet. I hate it when they’re really sweet. Makes me feel a bit guilty about all this. Though she was a bit more south London sounding than I expected. For the record, Tony was about to stick his face in the punch. Knew how to dodge a question like a pro, which I guess she kind of is. Let’s see, now to get…
Oooh, nibbles!
Don’t get fresh with m…
Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean anything like that. Well. Hello!
Ooh. Oh, the canapés?
Of course. Love nibbles. Best part of these things. Don’t mind me, I’ll just take one or ten.
These things?
Official parties. Hate ‘em usually. Well, this one’s the only one I like. No monkey suit. Lots of kids running about. People are relaxed, and not so worried about showing off. And no press, either. I hate the stiff, formal ones. Blech. Boring.
You’re Dr. John Smith, yeah?
No, no, no, just the Doctor.
A bit impersonal, “the Doctor?”
Not for me. You are…?
Mary. Um, Mary Jones.
Pleasure...Mary. Enjoying yourself?
Yes, actually. I was a bit intimidated at first, I mean, the Tyler estate! But everyone’s been lovely.
Yup. Good lot, the Tylers. Just, watch out for Jackie. Don’t get on her bad side. Best slapper in London.
Oh! What, did you get on the wrong end when you and Ms. Tyler…?
Ha! That’s one way to put it. And please, if she were here, she’d say just “Rose.”
Congratulations, by the way! About getting married.
Thank you. Thanks. Never thought I could. She’s brilliant isn’t she?
She seems real nice. Spoke with her a bit before Tony went and…
Ha! Boy after my own heart. Speaking of the devil…
You’ll excuse me? But find me later, I’d love to chat more.
Thanks, Doctor Sm…uh, Doctor.
That’s me, Mary Jones. Watch out, Tony, the Doctor will protect you!

18:50 31.8.2009
He was really friendly, too. Dammit. Although, I think he saw right through my disguise. But still he was nice. Talker, though, hell of a gob. What did he mean by never thought he could?

18:52 31.8.2009
They’re really good with Tony…Oh. Oh? What if he’s theirs? Oh, file that down for later! That would be a great "What if?" story...

19:10 31.8.2009
Ugh, they’ve disappeared. Tony came back out but they’re MIA. Boring. Almost impossible to get to Jackie or Pete. Always talking to somebody else.

19:40 31.8.2009
And there they are. Ooh, but her hair is mussed. Oh-ho, hanky panky at the party…
Mary? Mary Jones? Why don’t you bring those delightful nibbles over here?
John Smith just called me over. Both he and Rose. This will be wizard! New life, here I come!

19:41 31.8.2009
You rang?
Yes, I was just telling Rose here about the canapés you brought. They were brilliant! I see you’ve switched to miniature quiches?
Yeah, sorry. I think the others ran out.
She doesn’t have much of a choice, Doctor, don’t sound so disappointed. Not her fault.
Thanks, mum.
Ew! Next you’ll try and salute. Just Rose, yeah?
If you insist. Doctor...the quiches are pretty good, too, though. I nicked one earlier. First hand knowledge, you know. Can’t recommend without it.
Ha! Quite right. So, how long have you been working for…whatever company you work for?
Oh, this is my first night, like I was saying...
‘Scuse me for a minute, that’s the emergency line.
I hope everything’s okay?
I'm sure it's fine, everything’s an emergency at Torchwood. They never leave us alone.
Oh chin up, will you?
You’re looking all like a sad puppy dog. She’s only just stepped away.
Don’t miss a thing, do you, Mary Jones?
No, sir. Always wanted to be an investigator.
I bet you’d be brilliant.
Rose, why are you handing me your shoes?
Not my shoes, git, grab the phone.
I’ll just…
No, stay here a moment. Sorry. This is the Doctor.
Mary, yeah? Just hang on a second. We might need a hand.
What do you MEAN just an small auton outbreak? Are you mad?
Sounds serious, miss, maybe I should…
No, hang on mo.
No, but really...
Donna, listen to me. I need your help. You need to get these people out of the garden. Now.
What?!? I’m not capable of anything like that! I’m just the help!
No, you’re not. You aren’t just the help; I can see your recorder. Not very subtle, I’ll have you know. But even if you were “just” the help–you are brilliant. I know for a fact you’re capable of saving the universe if you wanted. You can handle getting these people out of here. Meet us back here when you’re…

02:52 1.9.2009
I started the day hoping to find some gossip on two people I thought were celebrities and too perfect to exist. Then I met them. Alien plastic people came clomping up the Tyler estate driveway, and they…they went running in to battle and they trusted me to help. Me! A tabloid temp from Chiswick. Rose Tyler was barefoot (she just tossed those gorgeous heels) and it turns out the Doctor is sort of an alien.. Once it all got started, I didn’t see an heiress and her boy toy. I saw bravery and trust and love and it was amazing. They showed me the power of love, and not just for each other, mind. They love each other and somehow it sort of radiates out from them and together they love everyone, the world. God that sounds daft, absolutely daft. But that kind of love, it changes you when you get close. They're not just celebrities. They're not just some couple. They're the stuff of legend. And these two (sort of) normal people, together, living the way they do.They showed me a better way of living your life. That you don’t just give up, that you don't have to fight alone. That together, you make a stand and you're stronger. Better with two. But with them, it's not just about them: it's even better with more than two. Friends, family, all that. Love on a grander scale. They believed in me. They’re amazing, they’re just… dazzling, but never tell them I said that.

02:58 1.9.2009
I’ll not be handing this in to the Sport and Mirror. In fact, I’ve already left ‘em a message with my resignation. Rose told me she needs some help at Torchwood. I’m only keeping this tape so someday I can tell my grandkids how it all got started