Crack!Fic: Let's Do the Time Warp... Again

by Yamx [Reviews - 9]

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  • All Ages
  • None
  • Action/Adventure, Humor, Mixed

Author's Notes:
Five times 100 words exactly.

Written for the The Concise Science-Fiction and Fantasy Month.

Let's Do the Time Warp... Again

Five

The Doctor, Rose and Jack tiredly stumbled into the TARDIS.

"I still don't understand," Rose said. "We can't just take their TARDIS away, can we?"

"Wanna bet?" The Doctor started flipping switches and pulling levers.

"But then..." She gestured over her shoulder to the door. "What will they do?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to answer, but then he stopped and shook his head. "You explain it, Captain." He glowered at Jack. "This whole thing was your bloody fault to begin with."

"All right." Jack ducked his head and rubbed his neck. "S'ppose this all really started a week ago..."


One

"Please, Doc?" Jack wheedled. "It's the greatest dance festival of all times!"

"Whole planet full of people hopping around like lunatics, that din you lot call 'music' blasting everywhere, floating buffets full of tooth-rotting sweets..." His lips curled in disdain.

But Jack didn't look disappointed. He looked overjoyed. And he wasn't looking at the Doctor, he was looking over his shoulder at... Bloody hell. The Doctor turned.

Rose's eyes shone. "Please? It sounds great!"

The Doctor sighed. No way could he say no to both of them.

"Right. But I'm not gonna dance." He slammed the tempo-spatiliator. "Hate dancing, me."


Two

"On my signal," Jack yelled into Rose's ear. She nodded, giggling. If the Doctor didn't want to dance, they'd make him.

She followed the familiar steps, edging closer.

It's just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the—

"Now!" They both jumped forward, reaching for the Doctor.

He tried to dodge, but the crowd was dense. "No, don'—"

Everything turned black and the world fell away.


Three

"So the Time Warp's an actual time travel ritual?" Jack shook his head.

"Yes! At least when combined with a temporally-charged entity. Like, say, a Time Lord. An' if you stupid apes weren't always trying to get me to dance, we wouldn't be stuck in the past without a TARDIS now."

"Hell, Doc, you've gotta admit we couldn't have known—"

"Could've listened for once, though!"

"Guys..." Hearing the panic in Rose's voice, they both stopped and turned. "Are we really stuck?"

The Doctor's eyes softened. "'S all right, Rose. Only for a week."

"What happens in a week?"

"We land."


Four

"Stay right here, both of you. They can't see us."

"Not the first time I've crossed my own time line, Doc."

A glower. "It should be. Dangerous enough when you're with me, but—"

Rose stared as the TARDIS materialized on the other side of the plaza. She watched the Doctor, Jack and herself coming out, the Doctor grumbling and dragging his feet, which only made his companions tease more. Then they disappeared around a corner.

"Quickly now."

"But how..." Rose shook her head, thoroughly confused.

The Doctor held out his hand. "Trust me."

She took it and ran with him.


Five

The Doctor, Rose and Jack tiredly stumbled into the TARDIS.

"I still don't understand," Rose said. "We can't just take their TARDIS away, can we?"

"Wanna bet?" The Doctor started flipping switches and pulling levers.

"But then..." She gestured over her shoulder to the door. "What will they do?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to answer, but then he stopped and shook his head. "You explain it, Captain." He glowered at Jack. "This whole thing was your bloody fault to begin with."

"All right." Jack ducked his head and rubbed his neck. "S'ppose this all really started a week ago..."

The End... or the Beginning?