"Doctor," cried Amy, "we've been turned into My Little Ponies!"
"Yes," he agreed.
"This doesn't make any sense! How could it have happened?"
"It's probably just a dream," said the Doctor, calmly.
"Who the hell dreams about being a My Little Pony?"
"Don't swear in Ponyland," he admonished. "I think it's a perfectly good dream. We have a nice meadow, a pink plastic stable, things to jump over, and we have good hair."
"I'm kind of disturbed by how much your My Little Pony face looks like your normal face."
"If we didn't look a bit like ourselves that would be silly, wouldn't it?"
"My one's just pale and ginger," she said a bit sadly. "Hey, what's the wee picture on my side?" She tried to look but pony bodies weren't that flexible.
"It's a duck," the Doctor told her.
"A duck? Why do I have a duck?"
"Because you're a Pond, obviously. What have I got?"
Amy looked. "A TARDIS."
She glanced around the meadow. "Where's Rory?"
"He's not in this dream."
The Dotor tossed his head a bit which somehow conveyed the same meaning as a shrug. "I tend to leave him out of my dreams. He just gets in the way."
"Wait, is this a sexual dream? This had better not be a sexual dream, Doctor," she warned him.
"Amy, we're not anatomically-correct."
"Oh. Well, what if I need to pee or something?"
The Doctor rolled his huge anime-style eyes. "You don't have a bladder. You can eat and drink, but it just sort of vanishes in the middle somehow."
"You have this dream a lot, do you?"
"Sometimes." He swished his tail lazily. "It's rather pleasant."
Amy frowned as well as she could with no eyebrows. "Why am I in your dream?"
"I don't know. I didn't even invite you. It's quite rude of you, really."
"It's not like I did it on purpose!"
"Doctor, if I was going to turn up in your dreams deliberately, I certainly wouldn't pick one where we weren't anatomically-correct. Or one where we were ponies," she added, in case he thought she was weird.
"You'd probably just nitpick it to pieces." He ducked his head a bit. "Not that I have those sorts of dreams, because I don't and even if I did you wouldn't be in them."
"You're not very good at lying when you're a horse," said Amy.
"It's about the only downside to being a My Little Pony."
Amy saw an opportunity in all this wholesome goodness. "Hey, if you can't lie, this could be pretty good."
"I don't like the sound of that."
"Have you or have you not thought about shagging me?"
"Well," said the Doctor -
Amy woke up in the library. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Bloody hell, that was weird."
The Doctor looked up from his book. "What was weird?"
"I... did you have My Little Ponies when you were a kid?"
"Okay, stupid question." She stood up. Having only two legs felt a bit strange. "Must have been something I ate."
The Doctor stared at her for a bit and then turned his attention back to the book he was reading.
Amy headed to the kitchen to eat as much cheese as she could find. She didn't usually like nightmares, but anything was better than Ponyland.