"Have you seen my friend? She's about this tall," he held up to Donna-height, "and she's got red hair."

The man he was talking to stared at him. "Hasn't everyone got red hair? Except for you. What happened to you? Were you in an accident?"

"I'm an alien," he said, conspiratorially. "But my friend, you must have seen her, I'm sure she came this way. She's got... eyes. And..." He thought quickly. What was there about Donna that people would notice? "She's got these..." he paused, hands halfway to his chest. He sighed. "Never mind, I'll just keep looking."


"It won't fit," he said, as she picked up an old blouse of Tegan's and held it up in front of the mirror.

"Are you calling me fat?" she asked, a nuclear threat in her voice.

"No! You're normal-sized." He ruffled his hair. "Well, at least I know it wasn't you who stole my copy of The Beauty Myth."

"And now you're calling me ugly?!" She raised her hand into the slap position, but waited a bit to allow him to back-pedal.

"You look gorgeous. For a human."

Donna sniffed and lowered her hand. "I suppose that'll do." She held up the blouse again. "So am I fatter than whoever owned this?"

"No, it's just..." He stopped, trying to think of a good way to put it. He wasn't about to say 'You have bigger breasts than she did,' because that implied that he'd looked and compared.

He had looked and compared, but that wasn't the point.

"She had one arm longer than the other," he improvised.

"Oh." Donna replaced the hanger on Tegan's rail and moved on, mercifully, to Peri's clothes.


He reached to turn on the gyroscopic regulators and stopped. His fingers were about an inch from her... chest.

He cleared his throat. "Um, can you move a bit, I need to get that switch to stop us getting tossed about like this. I switched it off while I was doing that last lot of repairs. Sorry."

Donna glared at him as she clung to the console and tried not to fall. "Can't you reach it from there?"

"I'd have to touch... you."

"Oh, for... I'm not an infection! Which one is it? I'll get it, you weirdo."

"That one," he pointed, hand as far away as was practical.

"You could have got that yourself," she said, as she almost lost her balance.

The TARDIS started to settle somewhat and the Doctor decided to just let her think he was an idiot.


It was really hard not to look at them. They were so... there.

"Won't you get cold in that?" he asked, meaning 'Won't I be unable to avoid staring at your breasts?'

"On a planet with three suns?"

He shrugged. "It can be chilly sometimes. Not often, but sometimes."

"I'll take a coat with me."

"It's just that..." Your breasts are hypnotic. "...they find pink offensive," he lied.

"Oh. Well, why didn't you just say that?"

"I forgot."

Donna stared at him like he was insane.


He almost cried with delight when she finally took her bra off.

"Oh, Donna," he whispered.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, always the tits, isn't it? Even an alien goes for the tits."

He took one in each hand and squeezed gently. "It's not just that they're breasts, they're your breasts. And let's be frank about it, they're pretty bloody amazing."

"Thanks," she said, sounding like she meant it.

"Can I... can I lick them?"

"Please don't be one of those blokes who spends five minutes on the girls and thinks that counts as foreplay."

"I'm not. I just really, really like them, that's all."

Donna lay back and pushed her chest up slightly. "Bite me, alien-boy."

So he did.