Author's Notes:
NOTE: The creatures in the following story are mine, but if you wish to use them, please ask my permission first.
BETA: My awesome sister GallifreyGirl01 (Lana).

Land of the Trunktonian Melphodacts!

The Doctor, Rose and Jack clambered out of the TARDIS and surveyed their surroundings. They seemed to be on a deserted island, except it was an alien planet of course.

"What's this place called, then?" asked Rose.

"Trunkton 13," replied the Doctor.

"Trunkton? Seriously? No wonder this place is deserted..." Jack murmured.

"Hey, don't be so rude, Jack Harkness!" scolded the Doctor, but smiled as soon as the others lost sight of his face.

"Sorry Doc," Jack said, like apologising to a school teacher, Jack thought.

"Look out!" Rose yelled, but neither man had time to register before a loud "thud" echoed for miles around.

Wincing at the vibrations still pulsing through the ground, the three stood from their cowering positions and gawped at what had caused the commotion.

"It's a fat horse!" Jack exclaimed, pointing.

"Well, it's a Trunktonian Melphodact technically, but to humans and immortals, it's a fat horse," the Doctor said, grinning.

"All the same, it's raining fat horses! I suggest if you don't to have one of those Trunktorian thingies fall on you, I'd find cover! Come on!" Rose yelled.

"Trunktonian Rose!" the Doctor corrected quickly.

They did, however, go with her plan, just as a Trunktonian Melphodact came rolling down the hill in front of them, and sent them flying like ten pin bowls. They stared after the fat horse as it rolled away, laughing gleefully. All three of them dropped their jaws when they heard it shout,


"Oh my God, I can't believe this! Trust you to bring us to the planet of the fat horses Doc," Jack said, giggling.

"Jack, that's not exactly helping!" Rose said.

"You're just sticking up for him 'cause you fancy him," Jack teased.

"I..I never! Jack, that is so not true!" Rose argued.

Jack poked his tongue out.

"Ah, Rosie Rosie, don't kid yourself! You ogle him when he's bent over that conso-"

"JACK! QUIT IT!" the Doctor yelled, cutting him off.

Jack looked at his feet like a naughty school boy, and Rose blushed when the Doctor winked at her.

"Oh my God, now YOU'RE doing it! Here we are trying to stop our faces being sat on by Trunkterriers-"


"-and you two are just trying to embarrass me!"

"Ah Rose, you know you love it!" Jack said.

"JACK!" Rose yelled.


"You know what!" Rose yelled.

"I do?"


"What's that then?"

"FAT HORSE COMING THIS WAY!" the Doctor yelled.

Rose and Jack gasped when they saw a largely overweight horse charging towards them at top speed.

"RUUUUUUN!" the Doctor yelled.

Rose, Jack and the Doctor legged it out of the cove they were sheltering in, and ran as fast as their legs would carry them back towards where they thought the TARDIS was parked.


"MAYBE HE SENT IT TO MTV?" Rose yelled back, over the stampeding of the eleven horses that had joined the first, and were now hot on their heels.

"MY GOD SHUT UP AND LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" the Doctor screamed.

They all ran until they could run no more, thankfully out of the way of the Trunktonian Melphodacts. Despite their successful fleeing, they failed to find the TARDIS. They did, however, find an abandoned hut. Inside, there was a battered sofa, an old cobweb-covered pair of curtains, and a tiny television. The Doctor pressed his sonic screwdriver up to the television and the screen flickered, before a woman’s image next to weather map appeared on the screen.

"...and there will be a large amount of Trunktonian Melphodacts falling this evening. But please, don't let that alarm you. Have a good day all of you!" and the woman's cheery voice faded as did the image.

"Is she for real? 'Don't let that alarm you'. What does she expect it to do? Cheer us up? How does that cheer us up? We nearly got trampled on by horses with overweight arses and they don't want it to alarm us?" Rose was almost hyperventilating!

"Relax, honey, I'm sure the Doctor will get us out of here! Right Doc?" Jack asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes! I think I think I know where the TARDIS is,” the Doctor said.

He then took held up his sonic screwdriver, and a few minutes later it started to beep and flash.

“I’m prepared for the TARDIS getting lost you see, so I fitted the old girl with a tracking device. Just follow this signal and we get led right to her!” the Doctor said happily.

Rose grinned smugly.

“Or you could reverse it and bring her to us?” Rose said.

The Doctor scowled at being out-smarted. He clicked a button on the sonic screwdriver and within seconds, the TARDIS was materialising.

“Oh, thank God!” Rose said, running into the TARDIS, the Doctor and Jack following behind her, and soon they were leaving the planet and soaring through the vortex.

“Hey Doc, do you think next time we can go to the planet of the skinny hippos?” Jack asked cheekily.

“As a matter of fact, we can!” and the Doctor flipped a switch. Jack and Rose screamed.