The Spartans

by JJPOR [Reviews - 47]

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  • Teen
  • Explicit Violence
  • Action/Adventure, Drama, General

1. Part One: The Hot Gates [Reviews - 10] (5027 words)
So, I’ve wanted to do a straight-up historical for a while now, and this one in particular has been bouncing around my head for some time. I know One is really the Doctor for that sort of thing, but I’ve wanted to do a story with Two, Jamie, Polly and Ben for a while now too, and they were in one historical. Obviously, Doctor Who, its characters and copyrights are definitely not mine, although we have all wished it, haven’t we?

2. Part Two: The King of Kings [Reviews - 4] (5245 words)
In which the Doctor and his friends meet two very different kings, in which Jamie's hitherto unsuspected talent for comedy comes in handy, and in which things generally do not improve much for our protagonists. Oh, and I hope Ben's implied 1960s-style homophobia does not prove too offputting for anyone reading this.

3. Part Three: The Soothsayer [Reviews - 4] (5262 words)
Sorry, no Ben and Jamie this part, just the Doctor and Polly confronting the King of Kings and playing a rather dangerous game to save their own lives. The conversation between Xerxes and Demaratus is pretty much as described in the historical sources. The lyrics to "A Hard Day's Night" belong to John Lennon and Paul McCartney and the Beatles; they definitely, definitely, definitely do not belong to me!

4. Part Four: The Three Hundred [Reviews - 3] (6896 words)
In which Ben and Jamie experience some male bonding, somewhat reluctantly it must be said; in which we get to witness some more standup comedy, Spartan style, and in which Two and Polly discuss history and whether or not any moral conclusions can be drawn from it. Here's hoping that Ben and Jamie's somewhat silly reaction to Spartan mores regarding relationships does not come across as too offensive.

5. Part Five: The Gathering Storm [Reviews - 3] (5737 words)
The next instalment: The two camps continue to prepare for the coming battle and in quite a lot of cases, it turns out, "prepare" means "get drunk". The pre-battle drinking customs of the Spartans and the peculiar Persian custom of drunken decision-making are, amazingly, both true. The song Jamie sings is an extract from the Jacobite air "Tranent Muir", which is, as he says, about the battle of Prestonpans at which I presume he may have been present.

6. Part Six: The Phalanx [Reviews - 5] (6429 words)
Battle is, finally, joined. Well, more or less. A little bit of animal cruelty in this part, so be warned (nothing to compare to the human cruelty in the next part!). The song the Spartans sing is my very rough paraphrase of an in turn very rough translation I found online of something by that Spartan poet Tyrtaeus who got mentioned in the last chapter.

7. Part Seven: The Immortals [Reviews - 3] (8342 words)
Well, at long last, the Battle of Thermopylae gets underway, so be aware that it gets a wee bit bloody. I hope it doesn't come across as gruesome war-pr0n for its own sake, but rather as an attempt to at least give the illusion of realism. I don't know whether Polly should know that the Doctor isn't human, because the pre-War Games stories tended to be a bit vague on that point, but I just wanted that bit of dialogue. And the thing about the Immortals attacking in silence is something I think I nicked from the movie "300"; I can't find any reliable references to it happening in real life. Ah well, the rule of kewl applies in this case, I guess... ;D

8. Part Eight: The Traitor [Reviews - 3] (7172 words)
Another all-Doctor n’ Polly episode, folks; don’t worry, we’ll have more of Ben and Jamie in the next part. Here, we see that some of the “baddies” in this story maybe aren’t all bad, and maybe one putative “goodie” isn’t all that good. Apparently, the Persians were famous in the ancient world for their love of eating meat. Yes – even ostrich meat…

9. Part Nine: The Road to Glory [Reviews - 3] (5658 words)
The calm before the storm, maybe; this and the previous part were supposed to be all one chapter, but they kind of...grew. More stuff about the difference between "history" and actual events, and more evidence that these guys have such different outlooks from our own that pigeonholing them as goodies and baddies does them an injustice. Hope Polly doesn't come across as too weepy and pathetic, but she is a bit desperate by that point. Oh, and I totally ship her and Ben, by the way, as if I hadn't made that abundantly clear.

10. Part Ten: The Last Stand [Reviews - 3] (5508 words)
More chapter creep, people; this was supposed to be the last one, and now... now it's not. The final part should be upcoming shortly. Ben and Jamie are put in a difficult position (a more difficult position!), Polly tries to do somebody a favour and Two shows his ingenuity. And no goats were harmed in the writing of this chapter!

11. Part Eleven: The End [Reviews - 6] (8607 words)
Well, exactly what it says on the tin. The Battle of Thermopylae draws to its bloody conclusion (and yes, it is bloody). Jamie and Ben are literally fighting for their lives, Two and Polly are trying their best to save them, and hopefully all will be well in the end. And a bit of genuine Ben/Polly shippiness for those of you who like that kind of thing. The lyrics from "Eleanor Rigby" most definitely, definitely do not belong to me but rather to Lennon and McCartney and the Beatles. Thanks for reading, those of you who have been, and there are some notes at the end to clarify some of the History(!)...