Author's Notes:
Food, wonderful food...

"Pass me the oregano, would you Jo?" the third Doctor asked brightly, as he tucked a napkin into the collar of his frilled shirt. "There's nothing quite like roughing it, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh yes, Doctor," Jo answered, as they both sat in a forest clearing, their faces illuminated by a campfire. "The champagne is lovely, by the way."

"Not the best year, but definitely the right end of the vineyard. Ready for dessert yet, my dear? I brought truffles!"

"Not just yet, Doctor," Jo said, with a bit of frustration in her voice. "I'm having some trouble cutting through... hngh... this meat... it's very good, really it is, but all the cutting and chewing takes some time. Sorry. I know this is considered a delicacy on some planet or another."

"On a dozen different planets, actually," the Doctor said. "The Thals make quite a ritual out of it. They all feast on this dish on their national holiday, provided there's enough to go around. It all depends on how the war's going. But this is hardly good dinner conversation, let's just dig in and enjoy ourselves!" The Doctor's normally reassuring grin had just a bit of good-natured "evil" in it tonight.

Jo continued to struggle with her roast whatever, occasionally giving up on chewing for a few moments out of exhaustion. The Doctor cut and chewed and savored happily, with no difficulty seemingly, all the while humming what sounded like a sort of marching song, something vaguely military anyway.

After an hour, Jo swallowed her last bite, relieved but weary. The Doctor was already done, and had been sitting for ten minutes occasionally whistling and drinking more champagne. "I'll tell you something else, Jo..." he offered between swallows. "Wherever you go in this cosmos, people will tell you how tough they are, but a Gallifreyan and a human being will be more than a match for them, every time! Here's to Time Lords and humanity!" The Doctor raised his glass in a toast, as did Jo. They clinked glasses and drank.

After a minute or so of silence, Jo looked down at the one small piece of meat left on her plate, which she hadn't finished because of a tiny bit of something in it, perhaps something metal. She now saw that the meat was a sort of small protuberance and the metal was a tiny electrode with a miniscule bit of electrical wire attached to it. The Doctor saw what she was looking at, and was immediately apologetic. "I'm sorry Jo, I really should have paid more attention when cleaning the creature."

"'Creature'?" Jo spat out, almost literally. "Doctor, what did we drink to a minute ago? Hang on, when have I ever seen you eat meat? Never, that's when!"

"My dear, I only eat predators," Three replied smugly.

"Alright, Doctor, out with it! What have we been eating all this time?!"

"Just a little something I brought back from our trip to Spiridon. Didn't you wonder what it was I was putting into a cryogenic chamber in the Tardis medlab?"

"You said it was for UNIT's exobiology lab to do research on! That means that this--" Jo just could not bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Yes, my dear," the Doctor answered. "You've been dining on one of the masters of the universe! I told you this would be a very special outing!"

Jo sprang to her feet, and stumbled off to a secluded spot behind a group of several trees. The Doctor called out after her, "I did say it would be better with the oregano!" He then realized what Jo was doing, and shook his head. "Earthlings, always so parochial... she's spoiled the moment now, and after all that hard work..."