Location: Wardrobe room, inside TARDIS
I haven’t got long. She’s outside, stalking me. Oh don’t pretend you don’t know her. You, my faithful readers, are in on the plot too. She calls herself Peri, Miss Perpugilliam Brown. No matter what anyone says, Peri is evil. I think this latest regeneration has more brains and sense then the last few. I saw through her evil plot, and tried to get rid of her. Alas, I failed. As I sit here, trapped in my own wardrobe, as she stalks outside, waiting for me to emerge defenceless, I think about what I should wear. I mean, my last incarnation dressed terribly. He took to wearing a beige cricket outfit, by Rassilon! The one before last wore a scarf. How distasteful can one get! I cannot continue describing the vestments that my previous fellows have worn, for the horror is too much for a poor Time Lord like me.
Finally, after what seemed like hours rummaging through piles of distasteful clothes, I have found a true masterpiece. I’ve always been a fan of striped linen pants, at least my last incarnation was. Just give me a sec to put them on. Next goes a nice vest, finally followed by lovely, and quite dashing, coat. What should I finish the outfit off with? A stick of celery? A scarf? A strange question mark umbrella? Or perhaps a recorder? Or a walking stick? How about a cat badge? Yes, I think that that nice shiny cat badge over there would be perfect.
She’s calling me to come outside. She thinks that I may have died in here or something. My dear readers, this may very well be the end, I may not survive this. Peri may be too strong for me. I will go outside; I will be brave and face this demon. Goodbye, my friends, goodbye.
P.S - I hope she can make a good coffee