Captain Jack's Adventures In Fanfic

by RedScharlach [Reviews - 30]

  • Adult
  • Explicit Sex
  • Humor, Mixed, Satire

"I want you both, right here, right now!" announced Donna loudly.

"Does this count as incest?" asked one Doctor. "Because I'm made of your DNA, kind of."

"Or is it masturbation?" asked the other Doctor. "Because that's my hand you've got there."

"Who gives a toss, it's as kinky as hell!" cried Donna. "Give it to me, big boys!"

In a frenzy of space-lust, the three of them ripped off their clothes. It was amazingly hot because there were two versions of one hot guy, so they were like twins, only not quite, because they were the same person, only sorta not, PLUS a woman with big tits, and hey, who doesn't like tits?

Donna grabbed a huge Timecock in each hand and pumped them like a pair of transwarp manifolds. They were all sparkly and glowy and really, really huge, did I mention that already? As she did this, the two Doctors groped and fondled each other, licking every body part they could reach on each other and some that they couldn't reach unless one of them hung upside down from the time rotor and wrapped his right hand around the other one's left thigh. [A/N: Is this physically possible? Must check some time.]

Then one of the two skinny but gorgeous brown-eyed spiky-haired guys in the room conveniently managed to produce some lube from somewhere so he could do Donna up the ass. [A/N: Should that be "ass" or "arse"? Donna would say "arse", right? But I'm narrating in the third person and I'd say "ass". I don't know what the Doctor would say, I never heard him say either "arse" or "ass", which is kind of a shame, cos he'd have done that thing he does where he really stretches his lips around a word, know what I mean? God, it's SO hot when he does that.] Anyway, he lubed up her ass and then he stuck his cock up her ass and fucked her up the ass, and hell, that was one hell of an ass she had.

Meanwhile, the physically identical man with a somewhat different biological make-up was admiring Donna's galactic-class felatio skills. She could suck cock like a Boboloxian rent-boy, having instantly learned the technique when she absorbed the Doctor's brain, because the Doctor secretly has a mind full of dirty man-on-man fantasies and really wants me guys, only he's too shy to ask. [A/N: Wonder if I can get the vortex manipulator working for long enough to have a weekend on Bobolox?]

Bound together by biological metacrisis, geographical convenience and industrial-strength lubricant, the titillating time-travelling trio enjoyed a threefold hardcore fuckfest, with the Doctor and the other Doctor riding Donna from both ends like a two-headed Andromedan space-donkey. [A/N: Although space-donkeys really don't like it when you stick your cock in them, even if it's a complete accident. Don't ask me how I know this.] The TARDIS shook with the erotic vibrations of sweaty Gallifreyan congress, their preternaturally powerful pre-orgasmic tremblings rippling through the space-time continuum, spreading feelings of universal joy and harmony, and making almost everyone in the galaxy feel REALLY horny that night.

Then they both pulled out and came all over her tits.

Lying on the console room floor in a haze of sexual exhaustion, Donna idly wondered what it would be like to have three galactically sized cocks in the room instead of just two, because then she could have all her holes fucked at once. Then, as if by magic, an impossibly handsome former Time Agent just so happened to materialize in the middle of the room...


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"What are you reading? Anything interesting?" asked Gwen.

"Nah, not really," said Jack, closing Word very swiftly indeed.

Later that day, Jack found a Post-It note stuck to his monitor.

The tone is uneven, the climax is too abrupt, the author's notes are tacky, the self-insertion is glaringly obvious, the whole space-donkey thing is just plain wrong, and fellatio is spelled with two Ls.

If it would help to act out any of the positions, let me know.


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