She turned and looked at him, as he stood there and held all her bags, and she felt like he punched her in the stomach. She knew that face. She’d seen in on dozens of other blokes dozens of other times throughout her sad single life.
He was going to take back his promise.
Most times she could just brush it off, flick her red hair and be done with it. But at the thought of losing everything she’d hoped for that past year, losing the chance to see the stars and experience something…more, devastated her. She couldn’t breathe for an eternal second until he started talking again.
Of course he hadn’t paid much attention to them before, she thought with a roll of her eyes. He wouldn’t now that they are going to kill all of us. Just like a man to ignore the details of something that could potentially blow up in your face later.
And just like a man to make excuses about why he didn’t in the first place.
Satan her ass.
There he was, going on and on, blabbering away like he always did. She wasn’t really paying all that much attention to what he was saying. The man did have quite a gob on him. And while part of her thought it was just about the funniest thing she’d seen in a good long time, Space Boy making an idiot out of himself, the rest of her could only think one thing.
He doesn’t want me to go.
He was making a complete idiot of himself and going on and on, just so she wouldn’t leave him. Oh, she knew it was because he really shouldn’t be alone, really didn’t want to be alone, she knew that plain and simple. But no one had done that before.
No one had made a fool of themselves just so she wouldn’t go.
How like a bloke to get all skittish at being called a father. Well, yeah, she saw his point that two seconds didn’t really bring out a fatherly bond, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. If anyone needed a real, true, family, it was that man there. Just looking at him, she could tell that every breath he took hurt from loneliness, even when he was at his most manic.
But just like a bloke, he lied to himself and told him he didn’t need anybody or anything.
She watched the two of them and honestly hoped it wouldn’t hurt when he was proved wrong.
It hurt so much she could hardly breathe. Over and over since Lance, she’d told herself that she didn’t want to settle down and have a family. She’d wasted so much time waiting for mister right to come around that she’d wasted her life. She’d found something truly amazing and didn’t want to leave it, not one bit.
But then there was Lee. And little Joshua and Ella. Her house. It was so perfect. Everything that she had always wanted. And gone in a flash of white light. Her children suddenly taken from her in the blink of an eye.
Inside she was screaming as she walked to stand next to the Doctor. As she looked over at him, she knew. He was going to be the bloke and pretend that everything was alright, that he was alright.
But she couldn’t do it. Not today.