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by Biichan [Reviews - 7]

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  • Teen
  • Explicit Sex
  • Femslash, Slash

Author's Notes:
Written at sizeofthatthing for the prompt: How they done sex on Gallifrey. My brain is full of crack, as you may have noticed. NSFW.

In their thirteenth year at the academy, the students spent an entire six-month learning about the Gallifreyan Rites of Sexual Congress. This was not an elective. In fact, all the students of their year were required to attend the various and sundry lectures and demonstrations. Even Koschei, Theta Sigma, and Ushas, who would have much rather spent their time plotting on how to smuggle Shobogan whiskey into the student quarters.

“This is ridiculous,” Theta whispered to Koschei. “Do they really have to spend the better part of ten minutes on the Disrobing?”

“It's to bore us to tears so we fall asleep and end up failing our exams,” Koschei said lazily, refolding his legs to a less cramped position.

Quiet,” Ushas hissed. “And pay attention, you fools. I want to do this one on the practical and I don't want to get a failing grade just because the two of you were spending all your time babbling about inanities.”

“I don't see why we're doing a three-person exercise in the first place,” Theta said under his breath. “The two-person ones are much simpler.”

“Because,” Koschei said under his breath, “if we did that, someone would have to pair up with Drax.”

Theta shuddered. “I see your point.”

Ushas jabbed him with her elbow. “I thought I told you, be quiet.


The configuration they'd chosen was this: Ushas would straddle Theta, while Koschei would take her from the back. Koschei suspected she'd chosen this one because it would make her the focal point of the exercise and hence the one that their examiners would pay most attention to. Koschei would have been flattered he'd been given the second-most important part, if he didn't suspect it was an excuse for her and Theta to spend hours of practice looking intently into each other's eyes.

Theta, thought Koschei jealously, had been his best friend first.

Drax, unfortunately, had to become involved. Someone needed to beat the drum in time to their thrusts and Runcible had backed out, supposedly because their exam date conflicting with some stupid trip of the Audio/Visual/Spacio-Temporal Club. Drax wasn't even that good of a drummer, Koschei thought bitterly. He always ended up losing track of the rhythm.

Ushas decided they needed supervision from a prefect, so she brought Braxiatel to one of their practice sections to watch. This resulted in Theta threatening to quit on them, until Ushas informed him that if he did she'd ask Drax to take his place. That shut Theta right up. Annoying older brother watching or not, having Drax take his place–even if it was the easy part–was a sure recipe for a failing grade.

(And Theta would know, Braxiatel had said with a smirk, which had led to Koschei laughing his arse off. Really, Brax wasn't all that bad, even if he was unbearably stuffy sometimes. And he'd managed to grow himself a rather admirable moustache, which Koschei–still smooth-faced–rather envied.)

They got better, eventually. Even Drax learned to keep a beat. And when it came time for Koschei, Theta, and Ushas to take their exam, they did so with full confidence and neatly embroidered robes.


It was the first–and only–Triple Alpha that Theta Sigma got his entire time at the Academy.