His lips, full and pink, leave a ghostly breath on your burning skin. He looks up and meets your strong gaze, and he says
You awake. The bed beside you is empty, and your heart sinks. He never manages to say it. The dream always ends there, always leaving you wracked with guilt at the thought of leaving him, at the thought of abandoning him. Never to feel his heart beat next to yours.
But you don’t think about that. You live everyday, just going through the motions, always running, always searching. Scared to find him, yet scared to continue along this life that has for so long ceased to hold any meaning. If you find him, you might have to admit how you feel. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if the single kiss you shared was only a goodbye, was the mans final cruelty, to leave you always longing for him, so that when you meet him again he can ruin it all by not loving you back?
But what if he truly loves you, but you were too scared to face rejection. You couldn’t stare rejection in the face. And that seems somewhat bogus, that you who have watched as death roared past, and who have faced so many nightmares, should quake at the thought of his rejection. All you need is his acceptance, his love and his care.
What have you honestly done to deserve it? Saved his life? But Rose has done that too. Lots of people have done that. Have you ever done something so truly remarkable that you left a footprint on his heart? Possibly. Possibly not. The doubt makes your hearts sink lower than ever. All you need is one certainty, to know that he would welcome you with open arms and that he would always look after you, when you are hurt, and when you are dying.
What do you like about him?
His stare? It sees through the armour you spent almost a millennia building, and makes you feel as though he is reading your soul. As though he knows your secrets and desires and memories.
As if he knows that you love him. And he does know. That cheeky grin, the cheesy manner and the oh-so-naughty flirtation that would make a priest have to pray for a lot of forgiveness. Possibly for the rest of his life.
And now your mind begins to wander. What you couldn’t to that beautiful body, to make it soar and make him come so hard he would see not only stars, but the universe and heaven and hell beyond it. Running your lips against his heaving chest, making him struggle for breath and watching his eyes turn blacker than you could have ever imagined and never letting go, falling apart together, time after time after time. Biting down on his shoulder and daring to leave a mark, branding him your own, never to be touched by another person ever again, always yours throughout eternity.
Then you whisper ‘I love you’, and he looks up and meets your strong gaze, and he says
‘I love you too’.