Out of Joint

by HonorH [Reviews - 232]

Printer Chapter or Story
  • Teen
  • None
  • Crossover, Humor, Romance

1. Out of Gas [Reviews - 30] (849 words)
This takes place sometime between "Objects in Space" and the BDM, with Book and Inara still on Serenity for Firefly. For Doctor Who, it takes place sometime between "The Doctor Dances" and "Boom Town."

2. Bushwhacked [Reviews - 8] (3335 words)
“Captain Jack Harkness,” he said. “The girl is Rose Tyler, and my other friend is the Doctor.”

“Doctor who?” asked Mal.

Jack gave him a bit of a smile. “You have no idea how complicated that question is.”

“I think you’d best un-complicate it,” said Mal.

3. Rose [Reviews - 6] (2175 words)
Mal asked, “The Doctor--is he dangerous?”

“Very.” The word was out before Mal was finished speaking. River looked at him. “He’s very dangerous. Last soldier of a war that shaped the universe. The Oncoming Storm, the Destroyer of Worlds. Nothing can stop him.” Her brow crinkled. “Homicidal pepper-pots.”

4. The TARDIS Invasion [Reviews - 6] (2599 words)
Zoë took another step into the TARDIS. “River made mention that she thinks you’re a danger to Rose.”

“So that’s what Inara’s little interrogation was about. River’s right,” said the Doctor. It took Zoë a little by surprise; she’d expected a denial.

“Can’t say I cotton too well to a man as’d do harm to a young lady,” she said.

5. Love and Engines [Reviews - 2] (1048 words)
Rose is pretty much in the same situation you are. Lovely young woman, stupidly stubborn male . . ."

"Why do they do that?" Kaylee asked. "I mean, me and Simon, Rose and the Doctor, Captain and Inara--should be simple enough, so why ain't it?"

6. Shindig [Reviews - 9] (3363 words)
“Somewhere in the sixty-third century, I’m married to a girl with feathers for hair,” said Rose. “My mum would be so proud.”

7. Objects in Space [Reviews - 6] (1938 words)
Around them, the Doctor sensed the others the way River did. He saw himself as he was at the end of his last life, his gentlest incarnation forced into the most terrible of actions. He saw Rose crouched on the ground, eyes golden and feral. Book, a question; Inara, sensuality and pain; Kaylee, bright color; Simon, overwhelming concern and conflict; Jayne, a solid mass; and Mal, shot through with colors that were oddly complementary to River’s own.

8. The Empty Girl [Reviews - 8] (1393 words)
“Did you learn anything interesting or useful in the cockpit?” asked the Doctor.

“Well, the Ankylosaurus and the Triceratops had a falling out over the Stegosaurus, the Brachiosaur is desperately in love with the Diplodocus, who won’t give him the time of day, the T-Rex continues to scheme for world domination while the Dienonychus and the Velociraptors plot his downfall, and the Pterosaurs just want to party,” said Jack.

9. War Stories [Reviews - 4] (2631 words)
He remembered River’s warning after the TARDIS appeared--that the Doctor was a very dangerous person. And yet . . . to Mal’s eyes, the Doctor didn’t look dangerous at the moment. He looked sad, tired, lonely, and very old.

10. The Short Game [Reviews - 4] (2807 words)
Jack suddenly laughed. Everyone looked at him, and he grinned his naughtiest grin. “I’m thinking that what you all need is a dashing conman. With psychic paper.”

11. Bushwhacked . . . Again! [Reviews - 10] (3170 words)
“Time is not a river,” River said. “It's an ocean. Riptides and currents. Breakers on the beach. Sometimes it freezes, all at once. Bits fly off and fall back in, and we'll all drown in it. We always drown.”

12. Hearts of Gold [Reviews - 12] (2795 words)
"If I managed to bed the Doctor without Rose, she’d be hurt. If I laid a hand on Rose without the Doctor’s approval, I’d get ejected into the Time Vortex and probably land in the middle of the Big Bang. You see my difficulty."

13. School Reunion [Reviews - 9] (2972 words)
“Emmy, meet the Doctor and Captain Jack Harkness. Doctor, Harkness, meet Captain Emmaleta Chao.”

“The Doctor?” asked Emmy. “Just ‘the Doctor’?”

“Just the Doctor,” the Doctor confirmed.

Emmy lifted an eyebrow. “Well, that ain’t pretentious.”

14. The Girl in the TARDIS [Reviews - 19] (2754 words)
“Were I to advise you, Doctor, I would tell you to go to her. Be close to her physically, whatever that means to you. Let your barriers down. I don’t think you’ll be displeased with the results, and so few can say that. So very few.”

15. Captain Jack Harkness [Reviews - 18] (2526 words)
“Captain Reynolds, how do you feel about picking a fight?”

16. More Objects in Space [Reviews - 13] (2142 words)
“Book’s right,” said the Doctor. “He gets a chance--one chance. After that, what happens is on his own head.”

“And what exactly will happen?” Inara asked, voice low.

River’s soft voice came from the doorway. “The storm breaks.”

17. Doomsday [Reviews - 15] (2416 words)
“But—but who’d do somethin’ like that?” Kaylee asked, eyes wide.

“A shark.” River’s quiet voice came from just inside the TARDIS. “I saw him. They showed me to him, their little captive bird trussed up for a feast. I saw him. The things in his brain.” She was getting agitated. “I didn’t want to see them, but now they’re in my brain, and I can’t make them go away. I don’t want to know!”

18. The Parting of the Ways [Reviews - 19] (2767 words)
River froze, eyes going wide. “Sleeping Beauty—Briar Rose. It fits. My conundrum has an answer!” Her face lit up. “Captain Jack, you’re a genius!” She ran to him, gracefully leaping into his arms, and as he caught her, she kissed him full on the mouth.

19. Epilogue: The Doctor Dances [Reviews - 34] (917 words)
Finally, we reach our end! This is the uber-'shippy epilogue, not necessary to the rest of the story, but if you love Nine/Rose, well, I certainly hope you'll like it. Thanks to all who've followed this story, and especially to those who reviewed!