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Chapter 38: Chapter 37

Author's Notes: Happy Holidays!

I hope you're all somewhat well and safe during those weird times. Wherever you are, if you're with family or all on your own, remember that this isn't permanent. You will not be alone forever. Try to use this time of silence to look deep inside of you. This is a chance you will not get a second time. Find out who you truly are and who you want to be, without anyone else speaking for you.

I know it's hard, I know depression might spit in your face and laugh like the devil. But you made it this far. You are strong and you can walk another step.

Please stay safe!

"Ey, ye're a bunch of weird folks. All looking like yer could be snapped in half like a twig. And you, Ivar? Bringin' me only the strangers or have ya gotten some iron too?"

The blacksmith stood up from his big whetstone ring and swung the short sword in his hand, testing the balance. He was a big guy, with lots of muscles in his arms, bald and tattooed all over the head. His beard was blond, braided into two separate strands.

"Only the strangers, today," Ivar answered. "They want to stay for the Yule night and I thought you might give them something to do until then."

"Is that so?" The big guy stepped towards us, eyeing each with curiosity. "Can't send weak folks like yer out to slay a beast. How'd ya survive, ey? Yer clothes are hardly made for the harsh weather and I see not a single weapon on neither of you."

I swallowed nervously. There was no excuse at all for both.

"Oh it's not that cold, actually," the Doctor answered with a grin. "Have been to far frostier places already. With far less fitting clothes. There was this one-"

The Master nudged him, murmuring, "Not helpful, Doctor."

"We got into a ravine," I quickly told. "Lost all our stuff."

"Ah…" the smith made. "Even your axes? And knifes?"

"Uhm…" I couldn't come up with a good explanation. In those times there were always dangers around, from people, from the wildlife. Everyone held tight to their defences, kept them close to the body so they couldn't get lost.

"Oh, I assure you we are armed." The Master gave the man a nasty grin and tapped against his own chest, where he probably had his laser screwdriver. "Bet it's more dangerous and deadly than poking things with swords."

Now it was the Doctor to nudge his counterpart, whispering, "Master, stop it."

They exchanged some truly venomous glances and I had the huge urge to smack them both. Again I got surprised, as the blacksmith only laughed roughly.

"The gods must hold a hand over ya." He winked. "Ye're not here to do harm, that's clear."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that," the Master grunted.

Again the huge guy laughed. "Ya can try, but the three of yer won't stand a chance 'gainst us all. And none of yer looks as if ye'could even carry an axe, let alone wield one." At that he especially looked me up and down. "Show me yer hands, boy."

I stiffened and cast a help seeking look at my companions. The Doctor shrugged, the Master was still fixated on the human in front of us, a scowl etched deeply into his features. Ivar only nodded reassuringly, but with a mix of curiosity and mirth in his look.

I took a step forward and stretched my hands out, which the man took immediately into his own, turning and observing them from all angles.

"I… I'm training to be a Skald," I quickly told, already guessing that he would notice that my hands did not show the signs of hard labour.

"Even those know how't swing a sword. And no Skald I know has hands without any calluses. Where'd they raise ya?"

"Let them be, Gerion," Ivar finally tossed in, laughing. "They are no threat and if they want to celebrate with us, it's no manner to deny the favour."

Gerion gave me a stare that made my knees weak. There it was again, that unpleasant feeling I always got with eye-contact. I had to avert my gaze, even though I knew it would let me seem guilty or ashamed.

"Well, can't resist some int'restin' fellas. And Odin taught us to be welcoming."

I smiled at that, murmuring, "Yah, no one wants to tumble into their own sword."

Again the smith laughed out loud and slapped his hand down on my shoulder. "Ya know the story of Grimnir, then?"

"Uh... partially." All I knew was one song from the old Edda. "Odin once disguised as an old wizard, Grimnir, to test if his foster-son, the king Geirröth would be hospitable. But he tortured his guest and only his son showed kindness to Grimnir. When the disguise was revealed, Odin caused the king to fall into his own sword."

Ivar rubbed his chin, eyeing me with the same curiosity as I got from the Time Lords. A small swell of pride sat in my chest. For once, my love for old stories proved to be useful, as it seemed.

"Let's see how they fare," Gerion agreed. "Oi there! Ya tall, flimsy one with yer weird clothes."

"Me?" the Doctor asked and stopped fidgeting with his hands. Instead he pushed them into his coat pockets.

"Yar, ye. Go help the women with decorations. They need a tall one with too much energy."

"Ohhhh, decorating is nice, I love decorating, been called the best decorator in the entire cou- aauuu!" He suddenly jumped on one foot, holding the other, where the Master had stepped on. Obviously not very gently. "Why did you do that?" he whined.

"Because I always love hearing you scream in pain," came the reply, accompanied by a sweet smile.

"I'll bring Laeknir to the hall," told Ivar, with a hardly contained chuckle.

The Doctor protested, however, "It's probably not so good to leave him alone." He thumbed at the Master.

"Oh, I can assure ya, I can handle the fella." Gerion barked out a laugh and eyed the Master while the first two vanished.

"I'm not working for you," the Time Lord growled dangerously.

"No?" The Smith stroked over his beard, twisting one strand in his fingers. "That's a shame. Could have really used someone as strong and fierce looking as ya. Strong arms, a wake mind. Those are good trades."

I shot a quick glance at the Master, surprised to see him gnawing his bottom lip. The flattery got to him. He probably knew the Smith had done it on purpose, but declining now would make him look weak. And by now I had learned, he hated that.

"Well… I could lend a hand, of course," he slowly started. "It's probably hard to find capable people here." The smug look on his face was almost hilarious.

"I bet ya will be a greater help than anyone else in this place. And you, little one." He turned to me, the taxing look making me swallow and shrink a little. "Been a while since I trained someone. And it's a shame to have ya runnin' around like that. Even a Skald needs to know how to wield an axe, at least."

"Stand a little wider. I could just blow ya to yer butt with that bad stance! Yeah, that's better. Look here. Watch me feet. They tell ya what I'm plannin'."

The axe was short and quite small, but incredibly sharp. Even with that size it was heavy in my hand, making me painfully aware of how weak my muscles were.

I watched Gerion, tried to make out what he might be doing next. Body language really was no strength of mine and we had been training for only an hour or so.

The Smith took two wide steps, swept his own axe right towards my head. I froze, my breath stopped.

The weapon swished past me.

"Pshaw. How'd ya not get killed already? Even a squirrel could defeat ya."

"I.. I… Sorry."

"Feel sorry for yerself, boy. I know ya have not even stubble yet, but fighting you should. Won't make it long without."

He was right. Even though he couldn't know the kinds of dangers I was actually facing. Not even I knew much about them, but the universe surely was full of threats. So I was thankful for the lessons.

"Can… I just practice the moves for a bit? To get a reflex, I mean. Maybe I won't freeze then."

"Yah, do that," he accepted, smiling. "I'll take a look at Erik for a while."

The Master seemed to have fun. I smiled when I saw how enthusiastically he hammered around on the red glowing metal in front of him. Allowing him to literally play with fire and forge weapons… Good thing the Doctor wasn't around to see that.

When the sun set, every bone in my body seemed to hurt. I wasn't used to hard work, let alone to fighting. And the practice, on top of the sparing with Gerion had completely worn me out.

Panting and sweating I leaned against the wall of the forge, watching how the Master plunged a sword into icy water. The rising vapour made his eyes gleam in joy.

I giggled.

"Wouldn't have thought you'd actually have fun working."

"That's hardly working," he countered with a mocking tone. "Certainly not the hardest work I've ever done."

I arched a brow, but instead of elaborating, he ignored me and observed the new sword closely. Gerion held out a hand and took it from him. His eyes skimmed over the weapon with a satisfied nod.

"I knew you were useful. Those will help a great deal when the… well, it's always good to have some."

I wondered if the Master had also noticed the cut-off sentence. Or maybe he was too busy bathing in the praise he got.

Whatever the case, Gerion brought us to one of the bigger houses. On the way the Doctor joined us, also looking quite pleased. On the door to the house we were lead in, hung a wreath of thin wood. Some pinetwigs were woven into it, and also some red berries.

"This's the guest house," Gerion told. "Has a bunch of rooms for ya. A fireplace in here." He stepped in and pointed at the pit in the middle of the main room. There were wooden logs around and pelts on the floor and on the walls. Among other decorations. "Water's in the well, or if ya prefer, take it from the sea. Me wife will bring yer some food later. Tomorrow ye'll have to hunt for yerselves."

"Thanks a lot for the hospitality!" the Doctor beamed. "This is brilliant! Oh, and tell me, when will the festive part start?"

Gerion tossed him a funny glance. "What'ya thinkin'? On Yule of course. In five nights. Make yerselves at home." He raised his hand and let us alone.

Silence spread in the almost dark room.

"Again, Doctor," the Master finally said, barely hiding his mischief. "Wrong time again."

"Oi, it's only five days! Not too far off. Have been worse."

"That you have."

"Eh, we can just jump ahead. I'm sure we'll come up with an explanation."

"Can we stay?" I dared to ask, heart thudding in my throat. I hated to ask for something. It always made me anxious and I could never tell if what I wanted was appropriate or not. But this here was just… "Please? It's only five days!"

"Weeell..." The Doctor rubbed his neck and threw a glance at the Master.

He only grinned nastily.

"I really love their culture and all the old stories," I admitted. "It would be so cool to... to..."

"Just see for yourself?" the Master offered.

"Yeah."

The Doctor sighed, casting another warning glance at his fellow Time Lord.

"Alright. Why not. There seems to be going on something, anyway. People are tense and I saw lots of damaged houses in the village. Maybe we... or just I can find out what's happening. Perhaps help."

The Master snorted. "Whatever. Being a prisoner in the TARDIS or here, doesn't matter." He stepped to the fireplace and threw some cut logs in the pit. There was a whole bunch of them lying next to it, getting less and less visible with the sinking sun. "Quite the change in scenery. From the fires of Satan's hell to the icy lands of ancient gods."

He chuckled and held something towards the logs, which I could not see in the dark. A second later there was a short beam of light, then a flame. Fire licked its way through the wood, illuminated the room and ourselves.

"Where have you gotten that screwdriver again?" the Doctor called out. "I locked it away!"

"Yup." The Master smirked at him and gave me a wink. "The two of us built a new one."

"Wha'? I certainly didn't..."

"No? Think again."

My mouth dropped open when I remembered that he had built something before I had slept. To be fair, had I known what it would become, I still would have helped. So I simply shrugged and gave the Doctor a half-heartedly apologetic smile, which made him sigh again.

"Master, don't do anything really stupid, okay?" he almost pleadingly warned. "I swear, I'll snatch you out of this time line, otherwise, and lock you up, while we're here."

"Uh-oh, now I'm scared."

I nudged the Master's side and nodded towards the Doctor. "Come on. I don't want to have to endure him all alone."

"Fair objection."

"Oi!" the Doctor made indignantly.

"By the way," the Master drawled, ignoring the response. He eyed me from the side. "The names you told them..."

"Ohhh, err..." I grinned shyly and kneaded my fingers. "I thought they would find our names quite strange, so... Leaknir literally means 'doctor'. And Erik... if I'm correct it means something along the lines of 'king of all'."

"I think, I like that." The Master chuckled. "And what does Roka mean? Is that a boy's name?"

"More androgynous." I shrugged. "Means 'crow'. I uh... wrote a story in this setting once and had to look up lots of names... that's why I recalled a few." I smiled and glanced away, then straightened. "Anyway, I'll get some water from outside. There's got to be a wooden tub or so in here."

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Chapter 39: Chapter 38

Author's Notes: Well, yeah... don't get drunk on mead, kids. Headaches are horrible. lol
It wasn't even that much... aaaaaanyway.... enjoy!

Also, I alway forget people outside of Germany celebrate on the 25th, not the 24th... so... Merry Christmas!

(Also, I'm really bored, rn. So have another chapter and another tomorrow, lol.)

The food Gerion's wife brought was simple. Freshly caught fish, mushrooms, root vegetables and some bread. Enough to sate us, and strangely tasty despite the plainness. Or maybe even because of it. Since I didn't have breakfast, this was my first meal anyway. Only the Master complained, stole some of the Doctor's share and didn't show even the slightest sign of remorse at the other one's devastated face.

After the meal we sat around the fire, whilst wind was howling outside. I was hellishly tired after this day, only halfway listening to the Doctor's ramblings about how he had showed the people here some new techniques to hang up... I didn't remember what. Something about the decorations. It wasn't important. And eventually the two started bickering anyway.

"I'm going to crawl under some of those pelts," I mumbled, heaving myself from the log I had been sitting on. "What're you guys doing? You don't sleep as much, do you?"

"Nah, not necessary." The Doctor waved it away with a grin. "I might stroll around outside for a bit. Watch the stars. Something like that. Might go back to the TARDIS and get a few books."

"You mean, sneaking around and see if you can find out what's bothering people here?" the Master mocked, smiling satisfied as the other Time Lord winced a little at his words. "Eh, whatever. I'll come along, before I die of boredom."

"Y... you sure?"

The Master shot him a dark look. "Yes. And you better keep your babbly mouth shut. If I have to stay among those primitives, at least I need something to do."

I giggled quietly and left the main room to enter one of the smaller ones. It actually were only niches, covered by some cloth, instead of having a door. In each of the few sat a straw bed with linen beddings and pelts for blankets.

I dreamed of the sea. Of a roaring thunder storm, raging above grey waves. A sail flapped above my head, about to snap or tear. It was cold and wet and there were screams. And the sound of huge wings above our heads-

With a gasp I awoke, shivering from the intensity of the past images. There was no storm, only the wind, howling over the roof, reaching inside every crack of the wood. It was pitch black and cold, even under the pelts. The shine from the fire was gone, so the Time Lords were probably still out.

I honestly had no clue how to make a fire without the modern comfort of a lighter, so I stayed in bed, ignoring the cold and the dark and the wind that sounded like wings. How much time passed like that I could not know, but at one point I heard the door creak open, steps entering. Shortly after there was an orange glow shining through the cloth, illuminating the tiny room a little.

Immediately I felt safer, the images of my dreams and of the fantasies the darkness had invoked left me.

"Still asleep."

I heard the words, almost whispered. My eyes crept open, finding the Master poking his head into the room. When he saw I reacted, he slipped in, looking almost uncomfortable for a second, before he straightened. He had changed clothes, still all in black, but now it was only a short-sleeved tunic with a belt around his waist, instead of a gambeson.

"'s still night," I mumbled sleepily. "What'd you want? 'n where's the Doctor? Y'haven't murdered him, have ya?"

The Master chuckled. "No, sadly not. I fled his endless ramblings. Wandered around the area for a bit, but it's honestly rather boring. No idea what you like about it so much." He leaned with folded arms against the door frame. "Found some interesting tracks, though. The wind has already destroyed them, so they might fool me, but..."

"But your gut tells you there's more to it?" Yawning I sat up, wrapping one of the pelts around my shoulders.

I had mostly undressed, was only wearing some undershirt and shorts. And it was weird to see clear, since I hadn't taken out the contact lenses. According to the Doctor, I could wear them for roughly a month, before I'd have to change them.

"Something like that," the Master admitted. He seemed strangely thoughtful.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Since he was here anyway, and obviously in the mood to keep me awake, I could at least try to squeeze some information out of him. His eyebrow shot up, as a question, maybe as a sign for me to continue. I had no clue and spoke anyway. "It's uh... because of this whole telepathy thing." Now I had his attention, but suddenly felt insecure and anxious to actually ask about it.

"Go on." He nodded.

"I... I don't understand any of it. But it seems to help you, doesn't it?"

I remembered how he had held me the last night. I had been asleep too fast to know how long he had stayed, but still...

The Master squinted his eyes at me, scowling.

"Maybe it does. What's it to you?"

"Mostly? Curiosity," I admitted. "For me it's a completely foreign thing and... Dunno how to put it. It seems so..."

He chuckled and tossed an mused glance at me. "Intimate?"

Well, that wasn't the word I had wanted to use, but only because I didn't want to think of it as such. Was it, though? Was it for him? The Master laughed quietly and strode closer, dropping to the bed to sit there cross-legged (at least he had no shoes on), facing me.

"I'm still not sure it really does something," he told. "Not... in a direct sense. The drums are still there, but..." His gaze drifted away, seeking for words. "It's like I get distracted. And then I don't notice them so much. For a while."

"That's... better than nothing, isn't it?"

He frowned, pursing his lips slightly. "Not enough." He tapped against his head. "That bloody noise is in my head all the time, never stops, never quiet. It drives me mad. Some days more than others."

"And right now?" I had a sense he was keeping me awake because he needed some distraction. Having something like that permanently in one's head surely must be bothersome.

The Master shrugged. "Not worse, not better."

"Then buzz off and le'me sleep."

He snickered. "Didn't you want to learn about something, just now?"

Okay, he was searching for distraction. I groaned and shook my head. "Yeah, no... not now. When I'm properly awake."

The wind howled, tore at the house. I shivered, wishing for the warmth of the fire to spread faster. The Master seemed to notice too, his eyes wandering to the ceiling for a moment, before they returned to me.

"I'm sure you'll understand while only half awake," he mocked and leaned a little forward. "And I'm bored anyway."

"I get it. I've got nothing to say in this." I let out a pointedly annoyed sigh. "'kay, shoot, 'n don't you dare taking me for stupid."

"So, skip the basics?" He poked out his tongue, eyes crinkled with mirth.

"I hate you."

"Doubtable. Alright, the basics then." He chuckled.

"'n what if I just lay down again 'n ignore you?" I mumbled, willing to do exactly that.

"Really wanna find out?" His smile was charming, dangerous.

I snorted out a chuckle, rubbed over my tired eyes and slightly shook my head. If I weren't so knackered I'd actually be thrilled to get that lesson, so I straightened a little and gave him my attention.

"'kay, 'kay. 'm listening."

Gods, what would I give for a coffee, right now.

"Good little human," the Master mocked and clapped his hands together.

He made himself comfortable on my bed, sitting in an almost meditative position, right in front of me, obviously far too happy about his silly victory. I, too, sat a little straighter; the only way to feel a little more awake. That and the fact that I was, indeed, curious about what he would tell.

"You already know that it's about touch," he started and reached out his palms towards me. "It's actually as simple as that."

Confused I blinked until I understood that he wanted my hands. So I stretched them out and he slowly stroked a finger over my bare arm, making me shiver as the touch sent a light tingling straight into my mind.

"For a mental contact we need skin, or... rather nerve endings. The more of those touch, the deeper the connection. You can literally feel it. Close your eyes, lil' lumin and listen to it."

So I did, breathing slow and paying close attention to what was going on in my head. His finger drew a line over the back of my arm, then slowly to its more sensitive underside, and I could indeed feel how the connection strengthened. The Master took my other hand, as well, turned both in a way that my palms faced him directly. His hands slid over them, hovered over my fingertips with his own for a moment, then pressed them together.

I gasped, temporarily overwhelmed by his presence in my head. And... mine in his. Like an opened flood gate, a stream of energy. We poured into each other like smoke, spread, hovered, tasted, explored. It wasn't like the last time, however. I didn't lose the sense for myself, still felt my own body, my heart, thudding frantically against its cage, pulse throbbing in my fingertips. But I also felt parts of his mind, shapes and movements, vague hints of emotions maybe.

Then it was gone.

My hands fell down onto the pelts, my eyes opened, my ears heard the wind rattling at the wood, heard the fire, faintly crackling in the other room.

The Master looked... confused.

"Did that hurt you?" he asked puzzled, but not concerned.

"N... no." I shook my head, uncertain why he had asked that.

"You reacted so strongly, I thought..."

"Did I?" I stared at my hands, then back at his face. "It didn't hurt. Not at all. It's just so... alien." I cringed at my own word, but I had no other to describe the feeling.

The Master lifted the brows, tilting his head a little. "You felt it before. And far more intense at that."

"Yeah... but then it was so much it was just... too much, you know?" I tried to explain, uselessly gesturing around with my hands. "Like when it's so loud you can't actually make out anything anymore."

"Mhm... I see."

He seemed in thoughts for a good minute, making me wonder how all of this might feel to him.

"So... nerve endings," I went on, tearing him out of the thoughts. "Explains why you thought, snogging me would be a good idea," I grumbled.

He giggled to himself, childishly.

"You'll never forgive me for that, he?" He chuckled some more and leaned forward, stretched his hand out toward my head, hesitated.

I wasn't sure what he wanted to do. His hand hovered near my temple, his eyes rested on mine, boring into me as if he contemplated hypnotism. His head moved a little closer and I froze, but he stopped there, near enough to unnerve me. His hand lowered, thumb stroking over my lower lip. The mental connection flared alive again, almost as strong as before.

"Now imagine how intense it would have been," he whispered, "had I used my tongue."

I swallowed, unsure if I should move away or if I was too hellishly curious. In the end I did nothing and the Master moved away from me again to sit straight. A breath escaped me, accompanied by an involuntary shiver. Losing the mental contact felt almost as intense as gaining it. I swallowed again, peeked up at the Master and found his eyes alight with amusement and a little mockery.

"W… wa... wait. If it gets that intense… And if this is about nerve endings…"

An impish grin faded onto his lips.

"I mean… No idea what you guys have down there," I babbled on, gesturing towards his crotch, "but doesn't that get… really intense?"

"It does." The Master chuckled.

If it was that overwhelming just from a kiss... I couldn't even remotely imagine how... The Master laughed out, tearing me out of the thought. Confused I looked at him.

"You're hilarious, you know that?" he taunted. "Did you just seriously contemplate sleeping with me, just to find out?"

"Wha'? No! Hell no!" I called out, blushing slightly. Okay, maybe I had. For a second. A very short one.

"Liar." He giggled and poked my head. "That curiosity of yours will be your death, one day. You know that?"

"Shut up." I shoved him away with both hands, unable to keep the grin from my face.

The Master hopped from the bed and wanted to leave.

"Oi, don't just run off," I scolded. "You woke me and didn't let me sleep. I barely learned anything. At least tell me some more."

"Maybe tomorrow night." He turned to me, grinning nastily. "You're not the most important thing on my list."

I groaned annoyed and dropped back while he left, giggling to himself. Bugger. Well, he had offered me enough knowledge to lay awake for another while. There were so many things I still didn't understand. And I sensed that he wasn't entirely honest about what effect I had on his drums; why I had an effect at all.

At least there was a fire again, crackling in the cold of night. The wind was still howling, rattling at the wood, sometimes... just sometimes... sounding like huge wings, flapping above my head.

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Chapter 40: Chapter 39

Author's Notes: I swear, I have no idea how that happened! (No, I don't believe it either.)

Well... quite the long chapter, this time. Compared to the others...

Holiday chapters are done now. Next one will take a while. xD

People sleep when it's dark and rise, when the sun does. Or so they used to do, in these times. I, on the other hand, was awake before the sun showed her face, unable to fall back asleep. The fire had gone out again, leaving the house in icy coldness.

Only a thick candle illuminated the main room, just bright enough to vaguely make things out. There were firestones and tinder and wood and all that. I glared at the stuff with pursed lips. Making a fire without burning down the house should be possible, shouldn't it? Otherwise I would also have to wash with cold water.

Then again... I really didn't dare starting a fire on my own.

"I really am a weakling," I grumbled to myself, grabbing the candle.

Beside the sleeping niches there was only one other room, in which the tub stood. And a bucket of water, that was still half filled. Well, fuck it, I thought and got myself somewhat clean. The cold water made me shiver at first, but then forced my body to heat up on its own. In the end I splashed the rest over my head, gasping for air, but feeling not too bad, in the end.

There was no food left from the evening. And, obviously, also no coffee.

Who again had begged to stay here?

I sighed, rubbed my eyes and donned my boots and cloak. Should I leave a... well, I had nothing to leave a note. How did people communicate back then? Scratching my head I stared at the door, wondering if the Time Lords would look for me at Gerion's or if they'd be worried.

The Master certainly not.

The Doctor probably was too distracted for worries.

In the end I only shrugged, put out the candle and left the house, pulling the heavy wooden door close behind me. No lock. Of course not. Why would anyone lock their door here? I huffed and walked through the sleeping village. Only a few people were out already, using the diffuse light to prepare things.

I saw what the Doctor had helped doing, yesterday. There were evergreen and pine twigs, mistletoes and red berries on the houses. All signs for life and growth. Speckles of colour in the seemingly everlasting winter months. I ended up in front of the mead hall, admiring the needle trees in front of it. They also were decorated, with wooden figures of the gods and apples, mostly. It made me smile to think about how Christians had stolen all those old traditions to transform them into what people in my time knew as Christmas. Almost all of it can be traced back to Yule.

What I also had seen was the damaged houses, the burnt down ruins of what once were homes. One part of the village was almost completely destroyed. We hadn't past that one, yesterday and I wondered what had happened. Another tribe maybe. In these days they often fought for land and power. But usually they would choose open fields for that. Destroying what one strived to own wasn't a very wise tactic.

"Roka?"

I startled, spinning around. In the silence of the destruction I hadn't heard anyone approach. Now I saw it was Ivar, without his bow, but with a small basked propped against his hip.

"What happened here?" I asked, gesturing towards the destruction. "Raiders?"

"No. Don't come here anymore, yeah?" It wasn't a threat, only a warning, softly spoken.

"Alright, but..."

Ivar shook his head and smiled. "Don't think about it. We have to deal with it ourselves. Come, I bet you don't have any food. But there are plenty of fish in the sea." He shook his small basket and nodded towards the shore.

When I had first seen him, yesterday, Ivar had seemed quite young. The impression didn't change now. He probably wasn't much older than I, his features neither edged nor soft. Somewhere in-between. The beard definitely made him look a little rougher.

I followed him silently, although my curiosity regarding the burned houses was almost overwhelming. As I got aware of it, I inwardly scolded myself, remembering the Master's words from last night. He probably was right. One day it would kill me.

"You went fishing so early in the morning?" I eventually asked, just to distract myself.

"Sure. No better time for it. No one is out stirring the water." He chuckled and stopped, setting the basket into the sand, only a few meters away from the water. "Here, start the fire already, I'll disembowel the fish meanwhile." With that he tossed some firestones in my direction and nodded towards a prepared fireplace.

I frowned at it and at the stones in my hands, cursing inwardly for not having practiced it in the house. Then again, I wasn't willing to let show that I was clueless and squatted down to hit the stones against each other. There was tinder on the bottom of the fireplace, igniting that should be enough, right?

"Having trouble?" came a happy, familiar voice. I glanced up, finding the Doctor standing in the sand, hands in his coat pockets, a grin on his face. "Come on, how hard can it be to got some sparks in the right place?"

"Don't scold the boy," Ivar said calmly. "If you don't teach him anything, he can't know."

"Riiiight," the Doctor said slowly. "Weeell, I wasn't scolding." He squatted down next to me and took the firestones. "It's really not that hard, see?"

I watched closely and took the stones myself to successfully light a small flame. The sight warmed my heart with a little pride, that grew only in size when the Doctor gave me an appreciating smile. It hadn't been often in my life that people had given me the chance to be of use, had never taught me much and always left me on my own with everything, only to then blame me if I couldn't do things properly.

"What about the fish?" Ivar pointed at the ones in the basket. "Want to help with those?"

"Not me, nope," the Doctor declined. "I'm really not made for the bloody work."

"I'll help," I agreed, kneeling down next to the black haired.

He smiled and gave me a small knife, showing me how I had to cut. "And then you can just pull out everything at once, see?"

I nodded and wasn't too bad at following his example. We tossed the innards into the sea and roasted the prepared fish above the flames, watching the sun rise over the water.

"Such a simple life, isn't it?" the Doctor commented. "Sooooo boring. But here and there it's good to remind oneself of... just how it could be."

"You speak as if your life is quite different from ours," Ivar answered, picking up one of the fish to test them. He reached another one towards me.

"Weeeell... in a way, yes. In lots of ways, actually. Far too many ways to even start." He, too, took a fish and started eating, luckily being quiet in the process. Not for long, though."Say, Ivar," he continued, "what caused the fires in your village? They are not from any raiders, right? And I found some strange..."

"It would be safer for you and your companions to keep your head out of this. We can deal with it." Ivar never raised his voice, and still there was a dangerous edge to it, all of a sudden.

"But we could help."

"No." Again it was softly spoken, but determined. "I do not know where you come from, but of the three of you, Erik seems to be the only one who is forged for battle. And he does not seem like one to use his skills to help."

"There are ways to deal with dangers, without fighting them with axes," the Doctor countered.

"True. But not this one."

Ivar got up and shoved sand over the fire with his boot. "I cannot stop you from poking your nose into things, traveller. It is only a well meant warning."

When we arrived at the forge, Gerion stood behind his anvil, while the Master – again in his gambeson – waited on a stool, a sword laying over his knees and another, smaller one, sticking out next to him from a heap of snow. When he saw us approach, a nasty smirk foretold nothing good.

"As it seems," he drawled, staring at the sword in the snow, "it is my task to nudge some dents into you, today."

He didn't move. Only his eyes wandered to me, glinting with a dangerous promise. I swallowed, getting nervous. The blacksmith was strong and fast, but nonetheless human. The Master, on the other hand... His lips widened to a toothy, wolfish grin. He rose from the stool, grabbed the small sword and held it with the hilt towards me.

He barely left me enough time to grip tight, pushed against my shoulder to let me stumble backwards and almost fall. I had never held a sword and simply did what I had practised yesterday with the axe, tearing it upwards to shield my head from the incoming blow. The Master let his sword clash against mine, the impact shuddered through my hands painfully, almost making me drop the weapon.

"Well, the reflexes aren't so bad."

"They'd be better if my muscles wouldn't ache so much from yesterday," I grumbled, lowering the sword.

"Say that to an enemy." The nasty grin was back.

I took a breath, gripped the handle and took on the stance Gerion had taught me. Still, the next attack sent me right to my butt and suddenly I lay there, facing a blade that pointed at my throat.

"Dead." The Master's voice was rough, cold.

"Stop that." I tried to push his sword away, but couldn't. There was something in his eyes, a deadly glint, as if he could hardly keep himself from slicing my throat. "Master," I breathed warningly, feeling the sword press against my skin.

Then it was gone and he chuckled while I heaved myself from the ground. There was no blood, no wound, but I could still feel the cold steel.

"You're not going to land a blow by just standing there." He waved, having his sword leaned against his shoulder.

I steadied myself, gripping the weapon tighter. That one day hadn't taught me enough to really attack. I could barely defend myself and even that with more luck than skill. And I also was a little scared I might accidentally hurt him. Alien or not, being unskilled could be more dangerous than anything else. Slowly I took a few steps to the right, then one forward, but stopped.

The Master used my hesitation to shoot at me like a lightning bolt, weapon clinging against mine. Catching the blow pressed all air out of my lungs and I stumbled back, quickly raising the sword again when I saw the Master came after me. The strikes weren't that hard, but enough to exhaust me quickly. He left me enough room for counter attacks, smirking snidely when I didn't use them.

Suddenly my back hit a wall and with a loud thud the Master's sword drove into wood, only a centimetre away from my head. I would only have to move in a wrong way to cut myself. And would I move forward... a smaller blade was on my throat. Only a knife, slightly pressing against my pulse. Our eyes met, his filled with a mad gleam, a barely contained urge to hurt, accompanied by a not less threatening grin.

My pulse thudded against the blade, breath coming rapidly. The Master chuckled.

"Never let such chances slip, lil' lumin. You could have done the whole universe a great service, just now."

"I... what? Even if... you would have just evaded."

"You could still have been lucky." The blade scratched my skin. Only a little. "Lucky, stupid little human." He leaned down to my eyelevel, grin wide. "I can barely keep myself from slicing you up."

"Master," I almost whispered, but the knife only cut deeper.

Something warm slid down my throat, telling me he wasn't going to stop. The irises of his eyes almost completely swallowed the hazel, left nothing but blackness. It hurt. But the way he acted scared me a lot more than the pain. The Master seemed to be completely out of control, his own self slipping from him, swallowed by a darkness he couldn't fight.

I dropped the sword and reached up, closed my hand around his fist that held the knife. There was no mental contact, not even a tingle. He was completely closed off.

"Master, you're scaring me," I whispered.

And that seemed to help. The grin faded, the pressure against my throat lessened, but the darkness in his gaze stayed. The Master pushed himself away from the wall, left the sword sticking in the wood. His eyes wandered over me, nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Pathetic thing you are," he only remarked, turned around and just left.

I watched him, unable to understand what had just happened.

"There you are. Gerion said you and Erik had a fight. And it escalated a little." It was Ivar, his steps crunching on the stones. "You're alright? He said you were bleeding."

I only grumbled something inaudible, not in the mood to speak. After the fight I had wandered off, had strolled through the nearby woods until I had found a nice spot in the warm sun, near a creek.

Ivar sat next to me and nudged me with his shoulder. "You'll get sick if you keep sitting here."

"I don't care," I mumbled. "I'm completely useless anyway."

The black haired laughed. "What makes you think that?"

I turned my head towards him, scowling. "You don't even know me. But even you saw that I can't do shit. And people hate me for it. It's always the same," I spat. "My whole fucking life has been like this."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." He smiled and ruffled through my hair. "Gerion told me he was surprised how fast you learned, yesterday. And he liked that you thought for yourself instead of bluntly following his orders."

"He didn't. You just made that up."

Ivar laughed, stood and reached a hand out to me. "No, it's true. Come."

"Where to?"

"Hunting." He grinned. "Some meat for diner is always nice."

I blinked at his offered hand, searched for anything mocking in his features, but found nothing. He wasn't teasing me, was just... friendly. For a moment I hesitated, but then took his hand.

We were quiet, most of the time, to not scare away the wildlife. It had something soothing to it, wandering through the snow covered forest, having the crystal clear silence of winter around us. Ivar taught me how to avoid making much noise, showed me the different footprints of animals and where to best search for them.

He also let me practice with his bow, patiently let me try a few shots. Pulling the bowstring wasn't easy for me, neither was aiming. Two rabbits kept their life this day, three more lost it, although not by my hand.

Darkness had already settled when we returned, the village only illuminated by the bleeding out light from fires in wooden homes. My breath evaporated in front of me, raised up to the stars in the clear evening sky. I followed Ivar home, helped him skinning and gutting the rabbits. A part of it was for my companions, the rest...

"Come back, yeah?" Ivar told. "I'm sure they can handle the meat themselves."

"Huh, come back? Here?"

"My mother taught me to prepare the best rabbit stew you'll ever eat, promise." He winked at me with a happy smile.

More lessons. Why not. He was a good teacher and the Time Lords probably had nothing interesting to do for me anyway. Let alone the fact that I wasn't so keen on seeing the Master.

It didn't take me long to return. No one had been in the guest house, so I had simply left the meat there. It wouldn't spoil, given how cold it was in the hut.

The stew was already cooking over Ivar's fire pit, smelling delicious. Since morning I hadn't eaten and now my body let me know how straining the day had been. There was no rest yet, however, as we went out to chop some wood, while the food was cooking.

"See?" Ivar eventually said, smiling. "You are capable."

My axe splintered the log in half and I watched sceptically as the wood clumsily fell down. Today I had tried a lot of new things, but hadn't really succeeded at any of them. Still, I gave him a thankful smile and followed inside, where we finally ate. And it was indeed delicious.

"Thanks for today," I mumbled, placing the emptied bowl next to the fire. "That was fun."

Ivar smiled, heaved the pot down and put it aside. The fire spread warmth and cosiness through his house, where I sat on pelts on the floor. He dropped down next to me, staring into the flames for a bit.

"Are women treated so badly where you come from?"

Perplex I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

Ivar smiled. "Why else would you pretend to be a boy?"

Shit. Well... it had only been a question of time before anyone would notice. He laughed at my shocked face and nudged me. "I won't tell anyone. But it wasn't hard to see. So... are they mean to you?"

I shrugged, deciding to stick to the truth.

"No. They aren't. Just..." Weird, I saw only curiosity on his face, where I had awaited judgement and maybe even rejection. "I... didn't want to be treated differently. Not as if... I'm weak."

Ivar huffed out a laugh. "Your people seem to be strange. Our shield maidens are as fierce as our warriors. And even those who do not fight... no one would dare to call them weak."

"Then your people are better than mine," I grumbled, remembering how often people had refused to teach or let me do things, only because of my gender. "It's so weird. The lives you live... it's so much... simpler."

"Simpler?" Ivar chuckled. "How can it be simple to struggle for survival each day? Is it so different in your settlement?"

Settlement... If only he knew about the cities, seemingly reaching from horizon to horizon, about villages that were as large as whole kingdoms in his days. "We don't have to worry about shelter and food so much," I told. "Life is easier, but still a lot more... complicated." I glared at the flames, sighing. "Here, life is harder in itself, but... simpler. Just that."

"I think I understand. In a way." Ivar sounded thoughtful, eyed me from the side. Suddenly there was a smile on his face, the blue of his eyes reflecting the warmth of the fire. "You could stay here."

My heart leapt to my throat. Could I? In my own time no one was missing me. The Doctor was accepting my presence, but only half willingly. The Master... I still couldn't place his intentions. It seemed he still hated me, on some level, could hardly keep himself from killing me, even. The only reason he didn't do so, was because he thought I might be useful in the future. And maybe a little because of his drums.

Useful. My gaze dropped to the floor.

"I'd only be a burden to everyone here," I mumbled bitterly.

He nudged me with his shoulder and laughed. "Look what you've learned in a single day. How old are you anyway? There's enough time to learn."

"Older than I look." I sighed, glancing at Ivar, who still leant against my shoulder with a warm smile. It was so easy to talk to him, somehow. "I'm... thirty-one, actually."

"Two years younger than I. See? That's no age." He poked my arm. "And you're not weak either."

At that I huffed, but leaned a little against his shoulder. It almost happened without thought, just some comfort seeking.

"Look," Ivar continued, "I have no idea how people live in your place. But it seems you never had to wield a weapon, or to hunt."

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in."

He chuckled and poked me again until I looked at him. There was amusement in his gaze, but also a friendly warmth. "And despite that, when Gerion asked you to pick up an axe and fight, you did without hesitating. When I gave you my bow and told you to shoot, you also did." Ivar leaned a little closer and fixated my eyes, his voice was soft, pleasant even. "I see no fear in you. A lot of sadness, yes, but not weakness."

I swallowed and smiled a little at his words.

"You really don't need to hide, Roka. You possess a strength that others don't." My breath hitched when he reached up a hand to cup the side of my face. "Where others would hesitate, you don't even ask."

"I... can't see that in myself," I confessed quietly, leaning just a tiny little bit closer. What was I doing there? I shouldn't... shouldn't fall for how easy this felt.

"That's a shame," he muttered, a little closer now, lingering, hovering. "There is such a fascinating fire burning in your eyes."

Ivar leaned forward, carefully moved his lips against mine, testing. For a second I froze, just savouring the sensation, then responded, eyes fluttering shut. My hand played with his beard and he smiled when I couldn't resist tugging a little at it. The kiss broke off, but we stayed, hovering. I returned the smile, shyly, but then caught his bottom lip between mine, urging to resume what we had started. What was there to lose?

Ivar's hands were on my side, sliding up feather-light under the tunic until they reached the binder. I was sure there was nothing the like in his time, but the buckles got opened nonetheless. He smirked a little proudly and gently pulled the tunic over my head.

"See? Nothing to hide."

No, there wasn't. There was no reason to be uncomfortable, every doubt melting away from his reassuring look. I hooked a finger into his collar and helped getting rid of his shirt. The cloth landed on the ground, quickly forgotten, replaced by my fingers that wandered over his skin, my eyes admiring the tattoos he had on his chest and arms, tracing along some scars.

"I need a few tattoos on my own," I mumbled, smiling.

"That won't be a problem." Carefully he pushed me down by my shoulders, lay me back onto the warm, soft pelts. His finger traced along my collar bone, making me shiver. "Here would a great spot for a crow."

He chuckled and lay next to me on the pelts. I turned to face him, admiring the warm blue of his eyes until he drew me against him to resume the kiss from before. How could this be so easy, I wondered. I felt warm and secure and smiled a little at how gentle he was, how we both took our times, savouring the presence of the other one. There was no hurry, after all.

Back to index

Chapter 41: Chapter 40

Author's Notes: 40 chapters in already... wow. That's either a good thing or I have serious problems...

Taking my Master obsession into consideration it probably is the latter...

Anyway. I wish you all a great start into 2021. May this year bring some well deserved peace and quiet back to the world.

Waves crashed over my head, dark and cold and loud, almost drowning out the roaring thunder, rolling over the black sea. Water was in my eyes, in my clothes, everywhere, freezing my hands that tried desperately to hold on to the ship somehow. A dragon's head, made from ancient wood, ploughed through the seemingly impenetrable darkness.

There was a scream, but no one was on the ship with me. Another screech... unnatural, inhuman. It was that of a raven. Huge, black wings spread in the mist of spraying water, rose above my head with the crushing waves, tall as a mountain. And there was a man, old and with only one eye, suddenly sitting on the ship with me, so calm as if the chaos around had no meaning to him.

Smoke. The wings were of black smoke, twisting and swirling in their form, mesmerizing, frightening. It was...

...the void calling to you, the old man quietly finished my thought, without moving his lips.

His voice was that of an old tree, quiet and rough, but still clearly audible through the thunder. His eye fixated me, trapped my gaze so I couldn't watch the wings any longer. But I felt them, their cold touch, icier than the water, swallowing me into the darkness and...

I gasped, eyes snapping open. Frantically I sat up, looking around the quiet room, trying to find the smoky wings to... to...

"You're alright?"

I sagged together, finally waking up enough to know it had just been a dream. This wasn't the ocean, it was Ivar's hut, calm and warm from the fire. With a sigh I lay back on the bed and snuggled myself under the blanket again, facing the black haired men beside me. He looked worried.

"'twas just a nightmare," I mumbled, immediately feeling the cold images fade as Ivar snaked his arm around my middle to pull me closer.

"It's the long darkness," he murmured against my ear. "It plays tricks on your mind."

"Maybe... good thing it's Yule soon."

"Alas..."

I shifted a little to look at him. "But then the light comes back. That's a good thing."

He smiled sadly. "Mhm... The light returns and so do you. To wherever you came from."

I lowered my eyes, pondered for a while, without really having a clear thought. "You don't even know me," I only mumbled. "Why would you want me to stay?"

Ivar chuckled, stroked finger over my cheek, warm, gentle. "You truly are from another place. Do you not know? When you live, knowing you could die any day, you cling to whatever life gives you in the moment. What does tomorrow matter when I can have today?"

My eyes closed, my body relaxed, felt warm, so snuggled up. Yeah, what did it matter? If only I could think like that, if only my mind wouldn't spin all those threads and possibilities.

"You might end up not liking me anymore," I mumbled sadly. It always happened. Sooner or later people come to notice how different I was from them. And then they push me away, leave me alone without as much as a goodbye. Always. There had never been a single exception. "And then I'd be stranded in a place that isn't my own, with people that don't want me and nowhere to go."

Ivar held me, nuzzled my hair, just breathing. He smelled like leaves and snow, reminding me of the calm woods. Those people lived and thought so differently to what I was used to. Maybe they wouldn't mind, maybe...

"What did you dream?" he softly murmured, his thumb stroking over my site.

I told him, in as much detail as I could remember.

"That is a strange dream, little one. You know who often disguises as an old man?"

"Yeah... it is said Odin likes to do that. To wander amongst humans to watch and to seek new knowledge." I smiled. Gods weren't real. Not like that. "I always liked him, somehow. A god who is on a constant search for wisdom. It's like... he is just one of us, in a way. So much more powerful, but still... a person."

Ivar laughed. "What else would he be?"

"I know of another god. And people make him... so elusive. Like he is everything and has no faults, possesses all knowledge there is and all power over everything."

"I see... you came from the land of the Christians. That is why you're so weird." He shifted a little to look at me, leaned down and kissed me softly. "But you know so much of our stories." He smiled against my lips. "Why is that?"

"'m not a Christian." Absently I played with the strands of his beard. "Their god is so... so far away. It's so hard to believe in him. But yours... your gods... they are just people." Playfully I tugged at him, coaxing another kiss from his lips. "So powerful. But they have friends and enemies, sons and daughters, lovers and husbands. They have a story, they live and die, mourn and celebrate, like everyone else."

"Yeah. One day even your people will understand this."

If only. My smile faded and I curled myself up against Ivar's chest. I wouldn't tell him. That his gods would become nothing more but stories on Youtube and in Comics. That the Christians would one day steal all their traditions to make them into their own, that only a few people remained to believe in what he now thought as real. And that they were mostly smiled upon and called crazy.

"Where were you?" The Master's voice sounded incredibly indignant, as if I had offended him.

Right now I was with Gerion, sparring with an axe again. It got a little easier. The movements turning into something that, one day, might even become reflex. Not that I would have the time for that... The blacksmith returned to his forge at the other side of the field and I leaned the axe against a tree that was standing nearby.

"Not there," I offered with a shrug.

"I noticed."

My eyes were watching the nearby sea and the crows fluttering over farms. The tone of his words made me look at the Master.

"Didn't think you'd be concerned. Wasn't even sure the two of you would return for the night."

He lifted a brow and let a smirk show. "And I thought you were so eager to learn more about telepathy."

Right... I was. "And that has to be in the middle of the night, when I actually want to sleep?" I mocked. "Don't tell me you had such important things to do the whole day."

"Sassy."

I stepped in front of him, giving him an annoyed glare. "And you're an arsehole."

"Tell me something new." His mouth widened to a grin, arms folded in front of his chest.

Alright. He seemed to be in a provoking mood. And it was riling me up a lot more than it should.

"Want me to train with you again?" he offered with a twinkle in his eyes.

I huffed. "Yeah... no. Seriously, if you want to bully me, just piss off. I don't need a rerun of yesterday. I know you're stronger and faster than humans. Don't need a reminder, thanks."

Strangely enough his eyes dropped at my words. For a second he looked almost a little sorry. Almost. I wondered if he had really just been a sod, the day before, or if he had lost control over himself. Not that it mattered too much. The result was the same and by now I came not to expect an apology from him.

There was something else, however, I needed to know. So I sighed and looked at him. "Regarding telepathy... did you... I'm not sure it's related or not, I just keep having really strange dreams. Maybe..."

His relaxed pose stiffened, eyes suddenly on me, fixating. The Master took a step towards me, his face as serious as I had seldom seen it before. "What kind of dreams?"

"It's... hard to describe. The images alone aren't telling much. It's more how they... feel. Can't you just look at them yourself?" I shrugged.

"Mhm," he made, raising his hands. But before he could touch me he blinked confused and hesitated. His eyes narrowed to tight slits, distracting me for a moment. Long enough to make me wince in surprise when his fingers connected with my temples.

Images flashed before my eyes. And they were not from the dreams, but from the evening before.

"Jeez, you were busy," he commented dryly.

I tore myself away from him, a scowl on my face. "That's none of your business," I grumbled.

Strangely enough... the Master seemed pissed. Everything about him radiated it, starting from the angry look on his face.

"What do you think, you're doing there?" he snarled, towering himself above me.

My mouth dropped open, closed again. I shook my head in disbelief. "First of all – you have no rights whatsoever to just dig out random memories," I scolded angrily. "And just for the record – I'm an adult and I can do whatever the hell I want. And with whom."

"You really think so?"

"Well... duh!" I rolled my eyes.

"And then what?" the Master spat.

Confused I blinked at him. As he got no answer the rage in his eyes only increased, almost physically radiated from him. Without a warning he reached out, grabbed me by the collar and dragged me to the toes. Shocked I pushed my hands against his chest, trying to get free of his grip.

"What's your problem?" I whined annoyed.

"That you don't think, ape," came the dark reply.

"'bout what, dammit? I'm on the pill, nothing can happen."

Okay, that probably wasn't the issue, but still. My hands pushed against his chest, barely managing to keep him at a distance. Under my palms I felt his double heartbeat, weirdly fast, next to fluttering.

It almost seemed as if he wouldn't say a word. He only glared at me, but then let go and hurled around.

"He'll die. Now," the Master muttered darkly, striding away with large steps.

He couldn't mean that, could he? "Don't you dare laying a hand on Ivar!" I called out, grabbing his elbow. The Master effortlessly tore himself out of my grip and marched away, me closely following. "Harm him and I'll never speak a word with you."

"Like I'd care," he grumbled.

"Well, you obviously do!" I ran ahead, blocking his way. The Master simply trod to the side, but I followed, almost making him bump into me, but he avoided so fast I couldn't keep up. He simply left me behind, standing there in utter confusion.

Somehow I managed to overcome my stupor and stormed after him. A thought popped up and I almost had to laugh. It was ridiculous, but right now hardly anything he did made sense.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," I deadpanned.

He growled angrily, stopped and hurled around, pushing against my shoulder to make me stumble away. "You don't even know him," he said, voice dark.

"You don't even know me," I countered immediately, arms crossing defensively over my chest.

There was something sinister in his eyes, something that told me this was about much more than I suspected. But his behaviour made me angry, in a way that it shouldn't. He had no right to ruin the one good thing in years, to just run ahead and murder the only person, who had been kind and nice to me.

"This is not..." The Master shook his head, clenched his hands to fists and released them again, surprisingly at a loss for words. "It's not... why the heck would I be jealous?"

"Then what the hell..." I paused, straightened. Listened.

There it was again. A faint noise, like a scream, but not a human sound, not that of an animal either. None that I knew, at least; deep and roaring. It seemed the Master heard it too. He looked around. The noise came again, a little louder this time.

A horn sounded through the whole village, it's moaning long and repeated two times. Doors flew open or slammed shut, people were running, shouting. Within a moment chaos was all around us. I had no clue where to go, what do. What was even happening?

The Master took a step back, reached a hand out to grab my arm or whatever, but didn't.

Fire.

It exploded in front of my eyes, bright and hot, raining down next to me in splinters of wood from what once had been a house. Everything happened so fast my mind couldn't catch up. The forge was burning! High blazed the flames, black smoke rising into the cold winter air. And there were...

Wings.

Grotesque swirling wings grew out of the black, as big as the house had been, twisting in size and shape, impossible to catch with sight alone.

A hand was in mine, tugged, tore, forced me to move, although my gaze kept glued to the dark mass in front of me. It had eyes, piercing purple, pulsating specs within the flames around. It saw. Saw me. Held me captive, froze my body.

A wall was in my back, something obscured my view. No. Someone. A hand waved in front of my face, made me blink in confusion. I glanced up, finding an equally puzzled look on the Master's face.

"Hey!" he called out. "Wake up!"

My mouth opened. There were words, but I couldn't speak them. I tried to look past him, turn around the corner of the house to look. Just look. The Master wouldn't let me, grabbed both of my shoulders and pressed them against the stone, chuckled.

"Yep. It's a dragon." The excitement in his voice was hard to miss.

"Th... the wings," I finally muttered. My body was shaking, pulse racing like mad. "Saw them... dreams. How... how..."

His face dropped. "Hey, snap out of it!" He shook me, then grabbed my arm and tore me to the side. "It's not a nightmare." Finally I had a view again, saw the flames devouring, growing. And a black mass slowly emerging from it. "Look at the thing."

He was right. From the fire came no nightmarish abomination, no twisting mass of black smoky wings. Not the wings of ravens, either. They were huge, black, but leathery, and attached to a not less enormous body. The beast dropped forwards, stepped out of the fire and onto the field where I had trained, moments before. Its wings folded so it could use them as front legs, riddled with sharp claws. The body parts were muscular, neck and tail long and elegantly thin, giving it an almost cat-like appearance. It's head narrowed towards the snout to a longish triangular shape, with scaly fins instead of ears, and in deep sockets sat two purple eyes, glowing, mesmerizing.

I watched for what felt like hours, but could have only been seconds. The terror that had paralyzed me before slowly dissipated, got replaced by simple fear, but one I was able to control. Each time the dragon moved, the flames reflected in its black scales, let them shimmer in a beautiful manner. Its mouth opened, revealed not only sharp, long teeth, but also the source of the scream we had heard before. Raw and old and mighty.

"Oh, you bloody idiot," the Master grumbled next to me.

"I've done nothing," I ground out.

"Not you. The Doctor. There, look. Right in front of the head."

"There is no o..." I glared at the spot that clearly had been empty before, but now that I paid attention to it, I saw someone standing there, with a raised hand, pointing something towards the creature. It was weirdly hard to keep him in focus, as if he kept slipping out of my perception. "What's he doing?"

"Trying to play the hero again?" The Master shrugged.

The dragon seemed not to be aware of the man in front of it. Maybe it had as much trouble as I had, but in opposite to a human it clearly had some finer senses. The snout was searching the air, intelligent eyes roaming the field, the small fires. The Doctor ducked out of the way as the creature spun around, almost hitting the Time Lord with its tail. He kept scanning, however.

Until the dragon turned once more and lowered its head to the Doctor, mouth opening, nose sniffing. Something hit against the scales, ricocheted from the hard surface and dropped to the ground. A second thing hit, distracting the dragon from its prey.

The Master was throwing stones!

Surprised I saw him picking more up and aiming them, but the dragon seemed to have lost its interest.

Only that it hadn't. With a swift, elegant twirl it hurled around to the Doctor once more, opened the mouth to let out a dark roaring scream, then hit the Time Lord away with its wing. He flew backwards, against another house and lay still, whilst the creature swung itself back into the air with mighty, heavy flaps.

It searched around and found some sheep outside, shot towards them and grabbed one with its hind claws. The head snapped back, seemed to search the area where the Doctor had been. And, just to make sure, the dragon bent its head backwards and seemed to spit, only that a small ball of flames was emerging out its throat, racing towards the house the Doctor had sagged against. The ball erupted into an explosion of flames. Debris rained down on the field, smoke billowed out and obscured out vision.

Only then did the dragon fly away.

Only then did the Master start to run.

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Chapter 42: Chapter 41

Author's Notes: So... 2021... same old, same old. Somehow it's only getting worse instead of better... but that seems to be the process with every shitty thing. It has to get really bad before it can start getting better again... right?

Eh... that actually fits this chapter quite well...

He carried the Doctor all the way back to the TARDIS, through burning debris, heaps of ashes, splinters of glowing wood and a snowstorm of glimmering embers. I followed behind silently, not daring to speak a word to disturb the strange image in front of me.

Only in the console room did the Master drop the other Time Lord into the jump seat.

"Not the med bay?" I asked, eyeing all the scratches on the Time Lord.

The Master glared at me, his look so angry as if he wanted me to dare speak up ever again, then bent down to lightly touch the other one's temple. A second passed in silence. The Doctor groaned, lifted his head. Soot and blood covered his face and clothes. Groggily he blinked at the Master, his hand twitched upwards, enclosed the one on his temple, but only to guide it away from him.

"Oh good," the Doctor murmured. " TARDIS. Don't want humans to- ahh!"

The Master smacked him right across the face.

Only his surprised outcry disturbed the otherwise silence that followed. It hung in the air so heavily, I was almost certain to never hear a sound again. The Doctor seemed equally shocked, held his cheek.

"Auuu…" he eventually murmured defiantly and shrunk together when the Master bent over him, both hands on the jump seat next to his head, a murderous glare in his eyes.

"What were you thinking, you bloody idiot?" the Master growled angrily. "A perception filter! As if that would work on a freaking dragon!"

"Well, it did… for a while." The Doctor's voice pitched to a defiant squeak under the other one's glare.

"And it almost killed you!"

The Doctor opened his mouth, but shut it again, quickly. Somehow he managed to sink even deeper into the seat.

"N… nice of you to be so concerned, Master, but.."

The Master snorted and rolled his eyes. "My only concern, Doctor…" He spat the name as if it were something disgusting. The closer he bent down, the further the other man sunk together. "...is that you let yourself be killed by something else than me!" Almost sweetly he added, "And we'd both be disappointed by that."

The Doctor let out a weak groan, but if of annoyance or because he was in pain was hard to tell. Parts of his coat were scorched, there were scratches and dirt all over him. Otherwise he seemed surprisingly well.

"Are you alright?" I dared to ask, almost feeling the Master's anger, but ignoring it.

"Yup," the Doctor somehow brought out, despite his crumbled together pose. "Kind of. Just... my head's a little messy." Finally the Master straightened himself and let the Doctor sit up, what he promptly did. His hands quickly were busy dusting himself off. "I think it's an egorlblak," he told, not looking at either of us. "Ancient species that is said to have inhabited many planets. No one knows how they get there, just..." He spread his fingers and finally looked up, only at me, though. "Appear. One day they are seen. And one day they are gone again."

"So... it's not a dragon?" It was hard to hide my disappointed tone.

"Weeell..." An adventurous smile spread on the Doctor's face. "Of course it is! Egorlblaks are said to be the source of every dragon legend there is." He sprang up from the seat and produced the Sonic Screwdriver from his pocket. "His DNA matches that of other recorded sightings. Never seen one with my own eyes, though. Brilliant, isn't it? We can finally learn something about them!"

"Looked more as if it learned something about smacking you into a wall," the Master grumbled with folded arms. "Let me guess... you want to find the thing and cuddle with it?"

The thought made me snort, earning myself a pout from the Doctor.

"I actually think I can trace him to his hideout," he confessed with a shrug. "There was something... I guess slightly telepathic about him." One of his hands wandered to his head, his eyes closed for a moment. "An intelligent creature. And old. Oh so old, Master, you wouldn't believe it." The hand sank down. "Eh, not that you'd care. I'll see if I can make out anything useful from what it left in my head. Don't think that was intentional. Just a little annoying... bit like having a mental tinnitus."

A dark look clouded the Master's face. Once more he stepped in front of the other man, fixating him. "Like you know what I care about," he growled. "And then you run off with everything, not even asking!"

"Asking?" The Doctor huffed. "For what? You want to help saving people? Hardly."

"One thing – the only thing – you're right about. I don't care shit about those humans. But this dragon... You were not the only one laying awake at night, listening to stories about them." The Master lowered his voice. "You're not the only one who knows the spark of excitement at seeing what most haven't." He stepped a little closer, raising his hands to the Doctor's head, but not yet touching him. "And I know so very well how it is to have something in my head."

The other Time Lord swallowed, not averting his gaze. "That's different," he muttered.

"It's not," the Master snarled. "You just like it easy."

The Doctor's gaze hardened, he completely ignored the hands hovering near him. "There is nothing easy about this. I'm running tests on you since years and have found nothing!"

"But you might!" the Master now almost whispered, his tone strangely pleading. "If you would just listen. Only once... Doctor."

His fingers slowly closed around the other one's head. The Doctor's eyes widened slightly and they remained, locked in an eternal second. My own breath caught in my throat, heart thudding rapidly in a weird and vague hope that... The Doctor slapped the hands away and stumbled backwards. His look was defiant and angry.

"Stop that!" he called out. "I'm not listening to anything! Because there is nothing! Nothing!"

Those heavy words hung in the air, hands fell down in defeat. The Doctor spun around and sped away into the depths of the TARDIS.

In the dim light of the control room the humming of engines was the only sound in the otherwise silence. Like in slow motion, the Master turned his back to the control table and slid down to the ground, hands clawing into his hair.

This was all beyond my understanding. Why did the Doctor turn his back at the Master like that? His distress was almost palpable. But then again… only because Time Lord's were telepathic didn't necessarily mean they could feel things like that. Most humans couldn't either, after all.

Hesitantly I stepped forward and dropped to my knees in front of the Master. His eyes were shut tightly, his breath slow and forcefully controlled.

"Hey," I said softly. "You okay?"

The Master's head snapped up, his gaze fixated on me, darkened even further than any madness would have allowed for.

"Do I look okay?" he snarled, eyes pinching shut again. "Bloody drums. Way too loud since days." His hands lowered. "And what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you run and see if your friend is still alive?"

At first I was simply confused at what he meant, but then it sunk in and I gaped at him, not sure what to even feel in this moment. In the end, all I managed to do was to sigh and shake my head slightly.

"Like you said… I barely know him. You two were a little more important."

A small, humourless chuckle came from the Master, his gaze hate-filled. "You also barely know us."

His response hit me straight on. It was almost the same as I had said outside. Great… Using my own words against me. Before I could think of an appropriate response, the Master straightened himself, rose to his knees and grabbed my collar.

"Stop doing that," I protested.

"Oh, I will." There was no smile, no teasing, only a deep darkness that swallowed him whole.

Forcefully he threw me backwards, let me fall to the ground. Only with sheer luck did my head not collide with the floor. He jumped to his feet and glared down at me.

"Get lost," he growled deeply.

"Hey, I only wanted to help."

I tried to sit up, but the Master shoved my hand away with his foot, letting me fall right back.

"You know…" His head tilted a little. "Maybe I should just take back my life force from you." He made a step away, but his eyes never left me.

Is that it?, I wondered, strangely detached from the thought. And still it scared me to know I might die now. Now, where some part inside of me had chosen to…

"Yeah," the Master continued, as if he had heard my thoughts, as if he had come to the same sudden conclusion that went through me like a shiver. "You finally chose to live. What a pity… Because, you see…" Again he shoved my arm away, letting me land back on the ground. "You're pretty useless to me if you stay with those primates."

The Master dropped to his haunches, grabbed my collar once again and tore me into a standing position with him, only to slam my back against the nearest coral pillar. The hard material dug into my skin, the impact made me gasp.

While the stars faded from my vision... I quietly started to laugh, head thudding backwards, lids closed.

"That's hilarious," I mumbled. "No… no… You know what? That's insane."

And insane was the grin that answered. Thumbs pressed against my throat, slowly decimating my air. I didn't struggle, didn't speak another word. He was right… and he was not. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore, did it?

Had it ever? As the air got lesser my body started to react on instinct, pumped my blood more rapidly, begged me to finally take another breath, to fight!

But nothing else happened. The Master kept me in that state of almost dying, made me weirdly aware of the pulse that ran through his veins. The four beats of his hearts, rapid, painful, unbearable. He wanted me to react, to fight, to prove that I wanted to stay with the living. But even though some part in me had chosen so, I simply couldn't bring the rest of me to go along with it. Not when there was silence waiting for me, peace. And an end to all the loneliness that hurt so much more than anything he could ever do to me.

"Master! Let her go! Have you gone mad for good?"

There was air in my lungs again. Suddenly, unexpected. I gasped and stumbled away from the pillar, because there were no hands to hold me in place any longer. The Master only regarded me with his darkest look, while the Doctor dragged him away from me.

"Get lost," the Master growled towards me. "Don't you get it? No one here needs you! No one wants you here!"

"What the hell are you saying there?!" the Doctor squeaked, tearing at his arm. "Stop the nonsense. Of course she is…"

"Oh yeah?" the Master tore himself away and shoved the Doctor roughly against the control table. "You were the one who tried to get rid of her from the very first day. And I no longer have a use for a pet." 

I rubbed my throat and found myself smiling grimly. His words hurt like nothing else ever could, a hot knife slicing through my chest. But at the same time... it came without much surprise. After all, it had only been a matter of time. Same as always. Without even looking at the still fighting Time Lords I simply left. There was a weird little electric nudge, when my hand touched the door, as if at least the TARDIS wanted me to stay, but I ignored it and wasn't hindered any further from leaving the box.

I returned to the village. The part where the forge had stood was destroyed. Some flames still licked the smoking wood beams, all surrounding snow was melted away. I couldn't find Gerion anywhere, but soon was instead found myself by a woman.

She took me to a long building, where the wounded people were kept. There weren't so many. The forge was situated at the edge of the village and only a few had been around. Here I found Gerion, a bandage around his head and unconscious.

"He will live," the woman told with a sad smile. "There is nothing you can do now. But if you want to help, there are others." 

I nodded and lent a hand as good as I could. After that I went outside with some of the men to put out whatever fires were still lingering. No one asked about me, a stranger among them. The help was appreciated, though, and it kept me from thinking until I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around. 

"Now you know," was all Ivar mumbled. "We're facing something not even axes and swords can fight. We tried, believe me." 

"I do." I nodded and was glad to see him alive and well. He probably had been out hunting all day. "I… I saw in which direction the dragon vanished…" 

Ivar arched a brow and finally smiled. "It would only eat you." 

I shrugged numbly, sensing all the repressed feelings from before coming back.

"Doesn't matter... if I'm alive or not… same difference. But maybe I can at least be of help. For once. Maybe…" A weak smile appeared on my face. "If humans and... others have no place for me, maybe the gods want me in their halls if I prove to be worthy of it."

Ivar fixated me with his warm blue eyes, thoughtfully. He lay an arm around my shoulders and guided me away, not speaking a word until we reached his place. Inside he started a fire to dispel the dark and the cold.

"Tomorrow," he finally said. "The earl said we will fight when the dragon dares to attack again. And now it has."

"Then I will join the hunt. Don't even try to talk me out of it."

"I would never." Ivar chuckled and enveloped me in his strong arms.

I wrapped my own around him, feeling all the tension melt away from my heart. Despite the still cold air it was so warm, comforting, to just stand there, feeling another living being so close. My hands clawed into his jacket, my head buried at his chest. This wasn't real – I knew it all too well. But in that moment it was all I had, and maybe also everything I would ever get.

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Chapter 43: Chapter 42

This night I sat by the fire with Ivar for a long time. There was no way to properly tell him what had happened, so I probed him for stories of his own, instead. There were many stories I knew and of which I told the end to the beginning, or a part in-between. Ivar had fun testing my knowledge and was astounded to find it quite rich. A fact that only existed because I used to be a little obsessed with paganism and Norse mythology.

There were, however, also a lot of details he knew differently, and even a few tales I had never heard of. But, whenever it was his turn to ask for stories from the place I came from, I declined, which probably let me seem more mysterious than I was.

Then again was time travel really not a subject to reveal here.

We talked until my eyes fell shut and until I found myself unable to stay awake for even a second longer.

"I don't want to sleep," I grumbled sleepily when Ivar guided me to the bed.

"I'm noticing," was his softly amused reply. He still managed to gently push me down and wrap a blanket around me, before he snuggled himself under it. "You're afraid of something, aren't you?"

I sighed and nestled against him. "I don't want to dream again. Each time I do, it seems my life deteriorates a little more. And they scare me… The things I feel then."

"I see." His voice was soft and he pressed a warm kiss to my forehead. "Don't be afraid. Whatever happens, just remember that you're not alone, will you?"

I hummed, but neither agreed nor declined. What was there to say anyway? Because the thing was… No matter the temporary comfort… In the end he was wrong.

Morning came way too early, making me regret the long night. It also made me aware that there had been no dreams, this time. None I could remember at least.

Besides, this period in history wore a depressing lack of coffee.

Shortly after sunrise everyone met in the mead hall. Here I saw the settlement's earl for the first time. A thin but muscular man, tall and with a thick red beard. He sat on his wooden throne at the upper end of the hall, fingers steepled, eyes observing.

There was lots of chit chat, the mood was tense and excited at the same time. I wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not to also find the Doctor among them. He had wanted to look further into the dragon, after all.

And he was alone.

The realisation sent a little sting through my chest and I inwardly scolded myself for it. The Master had made it very clear that he didn't want me any longer. And the Doctor hadn't want me from the very beginning.

I made sure to avoid him, although our eyes met a few times. There was no chance to talk, however, because the earl now spoke up. His voice was rough, but pleasant.

"Fafnir came again," he started. "And I am not a man to sit around, awaiting death. I assume you share this trait."

Loud murmuring went through the hall, heads were nodded, axes and bows raised in agreement.

"Good… good." The earl rose and stepped down to the rest of us. "We know vaguely in which direction the dragon vanishes. I will send someone to search for tracks and find out all about his hideout. It is an important task. We need as many information as possible, before we attack." The tall man stepped amongst the people and lay a hand on top of a boy's head, smiling down at him. "We need to keep our families safe. But we must not storm to battle unprepared, we must not risk our sons losing their fathers unnecessarily."

"I will go." Ivar stepped forward. "I know these forests and hills like no other here."

The earl turned to him and nodded his head. "Ivar, the fruitless." Some men laughed, but the earl raised his hand to silence them. "Running around in all this snow must be what froze your seed." Again some laughed.

I looked up at the hunter. Was that why he was on his own still? In these times children were as valuable as gold. Not being able to have some was like... well... what they thought of him was clear from their behaviour. However, the earl interrupted their taunting quickly.

"You are right, Ivar. There is no better man for this than you and your bow. Take whomever wants to follow and be back by dawn. We will prepare and head out by midnight."

Ivar turned back and lay a hand on my shoulder. "Come along?"

I nodded eagerly and followed outside, catching some glimpses of questioning looks and snippets of what the earl told about preparations. It didn't take long and the Doctor also joined us, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Now, espial is more my cuppa," he happily started to talk. "All they speak about in there is fighting and Valhalla and stuff... Err... it's okay with you two, isn't it?"

"Okay?" Ivar arched a brow. "Is that even a word? But if it means what I suppose, then yes, come along, Laeknir. More eyes see better."

We left the village behind us quickly and followed a worn path into the nearby woods. Ivar tossed a glance at me and gnawed on his lip.

"What's bothering you?" I finally asked.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped a little. "I... Well, I should apologize."

"What for?"

"Because... You know why."

I huffed and laughed a little, shaking my head. "Honestly, I have not the slightest idea, Ivar. Come on, tell me."

"Really not? Huh, alright... Uhm..." Ivar hopped over a stone and pointed at the next path we would follow. "About what the earl said."

My eyes were mostly glued to the ground so I wouldn't stumble, but now I looked up. "Won't we be back by dawn?"

"No. The other thing. I... had a wife some years ago. But she was never with child and so she left, and with her new husband... well... she hadn't been the problem."

I shrugged. "So? What do I care?"

"What do you..." Ivar stopped in his tracks and observed me. "I asked you to stay. And didn't even tell you."

Surprised I glared at him, then my mouth dropped open as I understood. Well, of course, would I chose to stay it would also mean... well, crap. My face got warm and I totally was at a loss for words, making Ivar even more uncomfortable. The Doctor also was no help, running around with his screwdriver and scanning every tree and bush and dung pile he could find.

Ivar coughed. "That's why. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked and..."

"Wait, stop." I held a hand out to signal him to be quiet. "I'm certainly not mad because of that." A smile spread on my lips. "Seriously, I never wanted children. And I'd be the absolute worst as a mother. I mean it. Maybe not as bad as my own, but still."

"Oi, don't be so hard on yourself," the Doctor's voice suddenly appeared next to me, making me jump a little. "Being a parent is hard, sure, but..."

"Oh, be quiet, Doctor," I hissed. "As if you'd know."

He closed his opened mouth and pursed his lips, looking as if he had to say a lot more about this.

"Listen," I snapped at him, "I know you try to get rid of me, but if I stay here or not is my decision. And mine alone."

"I didn't want to... It wasn't meant that way," he whined. "I'm just trying to help. But fine, if you don't need and want advice..." He shook his head and marched away, examining some deep scratch marks on a tree.

"Those are from a bear, not the dragon," Ivar mumbled amused and turned back to me. "Well, I don't understand your reasons, but it does make me happy that this won't interfere with your decision."

By all gods in all nine worlds! How could he smile so adorably! That was inhuman. And unfair. So, so horribly unfair. With a small grin I followed him, scolding myself for behaving like this. It really wasn't appropriate to have an obvious crush on a person who lived centuries before me! Well, it didn't matter that much, honestly, but still.

My grin dropped. I was just doing this all over again, this stupid thing to cling to whomever offered me some comfort. It wouldn't last anyway. And the moment he would lose interest in me, I'd be stuck in this time and place forever.

Facing a dragon was the absolutely better option here.

The hike was long, not because of the distance, but because we had to climb some pretty steep rocks. Snow and ice made it all the more difficult and I was glad not to be alone on the path. My clumsiness wasn't much help here, but somehow I managed without too much trouble.

The sun shimmered in the clear sky and still hung low near the horizon, as if she were shy and wouldn't want to come out, fully. There wouldn't be much more light, this day. Yule was near, nights were long.

"There," Ivar spoke up, breaking the silence. He pointed at an elevation roughly a hundred meters away, a formation of stone that loomed slightly over the landscape. I couldn't see much, but it seemed as if there was a cave behind it. "Truth be told, I have been nearby already. I saw the dragon land in here, but didn't investigate further."

"So, what will we do now?" The Doctor bent left and right, trying to get a good view at the cave. "Can't just run in and literally poke the dragon, I presume." He chuckled at his own joke and turned to face us.

"No." Ivar shook his head. "You two will stay exactly here, where you have a good view. And I go and search for the best path to enter the hideout. We must find it in the dark and more than one at a time should be able to enter... either that or we have to lure it out and"- He quickly looked over the surroundings.- "There should be an open space nearby. I'm back soon. Whistle sharp when you see the dragon. He usually returns by night, but I still want to make sure."

With that he strode away, swift and skilled, hopping and climbing over roots and stones. The silence didn't last long, the Doctor didn't run off to scan anything. Instead he leaned with folded arms against the rocks, his look serious.

"I meant it," he assured softly. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I didn't want you aboard, that's true. But-" he interrupted my protest with a hand-wave, "- that was because I was scared the Master would harm you. Which, as it turned out, wasn't without reason."

My eyes dropped to the ground for a moment, only to snap back up to keep the cave in sight. The Master had indeed hurt me, although in a different way than only physically.

"He... didn't mean it," the Doctor mumbled. "I don't know what's wrong with him. I tried so many things... There is just so much rage and hatred in him. It never stops, never has. Not in all those centuries, not in the years since he is with me."

I huffed and shook my head. "Maybe you should start with the basics, then. Do what he asks of you." Only for a short moment did I take my eyes off the cave, to throw him a dark glare. "What would you lose by listening? You're a Time Lord, too. Maybe you could hear his drums."

The Doctor sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. I resumed watching the cave.

"Do you know where they come from?" the Doctor asked.

"No. He hasn't told it."

"That's... ugh... no, that's not on me to tell, then. Let me just say... the way he got it is an indicator in itself that the drums aren't real. Can't be. It happens. People go mad, have it much worse even. He just doesn't want to accept it. And even if I would listen... there wouldn't be anything. And yes... since I am a Time Lord, he would not believe a word would I tell him that I can't hear the slightest thing."

He probably had a point there, but to me it seemed unnecessarily cruel anyway. Not that this was my problem any longer.

"If he is as mad as you claim," I numbly said, "then why do you assume he isn't the arse as which he behaves?"

The Doctor rubbed his neck and sighed. "Because he was mad at me, not you. You were just… In the way. Wrong moment, wrong place."

"Don't think that's all." His anger had started before that, but the Doctor couldn't know. "Doesn't matter. Hadn't planned on coming back."

"Oh…"

"I found a good spot!" Ivar appeared from a rock directly above us, wearing a satisfied smile. "The cave is enormous and we can enter from three sides. We can lay an ambush and then fight him in the belly of the cave, where he can't fly away."

"but if it spits fire…" I objected.

"That might be an issue, yes. But I think his survival instincts will prevent that. I know many beast and none of them risk their lives on purpose."

"That isn't just some beast," the Doctor mumbled. "There is an intelligence… with telepathic skills of some kind. Couldn't decipher anything, though."

"No idea what you are talking about." Ivar sat on the stone and let his feet dangle. "If you have any better idea, go ahead and tell."

"I will search the cave. Maybe there are hints… traces."

"Done that already. But if you want. I won't stop you."

The Doctor nodded and strode away to a spot where he could climb up to the cave. It didn't take long and he had vanished inside. A few minutes passed in silence, before the Time Lord reappeared, but he took more time to squander around the entrance.

Ivar let his eyes wander down to me, smiled and hopped down, landing by my side in a silky movement.

"Are you sure you want to fight?" he asked softly. "I won't stop you. But it is important to be aware that none of us might survive against a foe like that."

"I am aware," I mumbled, lowering my head. "And I accept it."

Ivar nodded, his face serious. The Doctor approached us with a face that told clearly he hadn't found a useful thing.

"I don't like this," he grumbled. "I don't like this at all. Bloodshed is never a good option."

"It is the only option we have." Ivar fixated him with a stern look. "We gave the dragon enough chances to survive. But now it is either him or our whole village. And you will understand that we chose to survive. I'm sure of that."

The Doctor sighed and tossed a glance back at the cave.

"Yeah… but I still don't like it."

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Chapter 44: Chapter 43

Author's Notes: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*breathes out*
Fighting scenes are so damn hard to write! Q_Q

So... I hope you enjoy this chapter. It almost broke me! AHhhhhhhhhh! xDDD

There was time to prepare, time to rest, to eat. The Doctor vanished as soon as we returned, wanting to have nothing to do with the slaughter of such a probably ancient creature. But Ivar was right. Either the dragon or the whole settlement had to perish. The choice was easy. For them.

For me…

"I'm still curious, Roka." Ivar sat next to me, watching the stars. Soon we would venture out. "Why do you risk your life for us?"

I sighed, not taking my eyes off the sky. "'m not," I mumbled and my thumb slid over my wrist. "Once I made a decision. It feels like months have passed already, but it's actually only a few days."

Ivar took my hand and looked at the scar. His eyebrow shot up questioningly, but I had a hunch he knew where it came from.

"That healed fast. Why…" He interrupted himself and shook his head. "Sorry. That's none of my business."

"I'm fighting for a selfish reason. I can't stand it. Being lonely all the time."

"Wouldn't that be a good reason to stay?" He nudged me with his shoulder and smiled warmly.

"Yeah…" I smiled back, leaning against him a little. "But Ivar… It seems that I am cursed. It has to be. One way or the other."

"Why do you think that?"

Cold evidence. Even when looking at it from an objective view, even when I sat aside all emotions, the facts still stayed the same.

"Without a single exception, people always leave me. No matter how often they tell me how much they love me, how much they value our friendship, or whatever else they say. Sooner or later they leave me behind. Even when I do my best to be a good friend or a good partner, even when I give more than I get back. One day or the other people just... vanish, stop speaking to me, turn their back or even get hostile, even if nothing has changed."

Ivar hummed thoughtfully." And you think I will leave you too." It was a statement, not a question.

"It appears to be inevitable." I glared at the stars, eyes filled with tears. They stung, but wouldn't flow, so I blinked them away. "I can't fight. I probably won't survive the dragon. But it's an honourable death. That's ought to be worth something, shouldn't it? And should I survive nonetheless… Maybe that's a good sign, who knows…" I peeked at Ivar. "You're not trying to stop me. Why is that?"

There it was again, this warm smile. It made my heart ache. Ivar leaned to me, took my chin between his fingers and breathed a small kiss to my lips. "No man, nor spirit, nor god has the right to deny you your choices," he spoke softly.

I huffed, feeling a blush creep up my neck. Maybe it would be worth the risk. Just one more try. Once more offering my trust, my splintered heart. Even if it would end all the same, there would be time to think about the after when it actually occurred. Maybe this dragon was a trial, the ultimate way to determine my path.

We split in three groups. One coming from near the entrance, the other two from different paths within the cave. We walked through almost darkness, had only a few candles to illuminate the narrow way. Too narrow for torches.

I stayed close to Ivar, my hand gripping the knob of my short sword. The earl himself had given it to me after hearing that I, a stranger, was willing to fight alongside his people. After all, who would let the chance slip to face such an opponent?

Aside the two of us there were three others. None spoke a word, not wanting to alarm the dragon before the time. Eventually the woman in front of us gestured to something and I could make out a spot that was darker than the rest. Another entrance.

We had arrived.

Tension spread between everyone, my own heart beat a lot faster in anticipation, not even willing to calm when Ivar gave me reassuring smile. Instead my grip only got a little tighter, as if this sword was the only thing still clinging me to reality. This was insane, wasn’t it? I had no idea how to fight, was physically weak and mentally unprepared. I had ran into my certain death – again. But this time there was nothing calm about it.

The woman gave a short hand signal and everyone poured into the cave. I followed, then stopped abruptly as a hand was suddenly on my shoulder, gripping me so hard that I couldn't move any longer.

Perplex I turned, but couldn't make out anything in the darkness the missing candles had left behind. From ahead I heard a scream and a roar. Metal against scales.

"Let go!" I demanded.

"So you can run in there and let yourself be killed?" The voice was familiar, slightly distorted in the cave, but recognizable enough. "You still have my life force."

How had he even gotten here? Even in the dim candle light everyone had been visible clearly. I would have seen him the whole way here. But that hardly mattered now. The sounds of fighting rang to my ears, heavy steps let the ground shake, roars filled the air. The dragon was awake.

"Screw you!" I called out. "You can't throw me away and then demand anything. Let go!" I tore myself away. Why I managed was a mystery in itself, but I took the opportunity to simply run.

There was fire in the cave, licking at torches on the ground to illuminate the enormous cavern we stood in. It was huge enough to almost fit a small church. Stalactites hung from the ceiling and grew on the ground where the dragon hadn’t swiped them away. Vaguely I could make out more entrances that might lead outside or deeper inside the cave. The rest of the warriors must have come through those.

Warriors with the spirit to fight to their deaths to defend home and kin, fearlessly facing a monster they only knew from tales. They were almost tiny in comparison to the black nightmare that was the dragon himself. Even on all fours he was enormous, cautiously treading up and down and in a weird circle. He observed his attackers, tried to find a way to fight in this space that was huge, but still too small to fly or to spit fire in.

Immediately I saw that the attack had been a bad idea. The dragon couldn’t keep all humans in his line of sight at once and those that felt secure enough lunged one attack after the other.

None of them left as much as a dent in the dragon’s shimmering scales. Not sword, not axe, not fist or boot could leave a mark. Whatever those scales were made of, it was sturdy and impenetrable. In the weird, flickering light they gave off a beautiful shine.

The monster turned on the spot, swished a handful of men away and against a cavern wall, where they lay still and unmoving. Some arrows thudded against the thick leather of the wings, uselessly falling to the ground. A torch flew, landed on the beast's head, right as it let out another roar. Sharp fangs smashed the wood into tiny splinters, devoured the flames.

The dragon rose to his hind legs, spread the enormous wings to almost fill out the entire cavern. Everyone ducked away, tried to get out of the creature's reach. The head tilted back as if it were about to spit a fireball, but the movement never quite finished. Instead the creature was startled and roared, pain-stricken, stumbled – and finally crashed to the ground.

Right in front of me.

Without even thinking about it I had already drawn my sword and had moved to keep the dragon's head in my sight. A bad idea, considering where it had brought me. The ground shook as the enormous body landed ungracefully, slithering over gravel. Angrily the head shook and the eyes – those purple pits of glowing ember – they stared at me, truly saw me.

I gripped the sword with two hands, holding it in front of me. How I felt in that moment is impossible to describe. It wasn't fear, it wasn't panic. Something deeply rooted within my subconsciousness stirred, let my heart-rate skyrocket and my breath tremble. The maw opened, long teeth blinking in the orange light, slowly closed again and moved closer, sniffing. It was so close, its head as big as myself.

There was a strange pressure in my head as it came closer, almost similar to what I felt when the Master didn't tone his psychic abilities down and... Could it be? Through all the trembling and the paralysis of my body I somehow still managed to take one hand off the sword, hesitantly reaching it out to brush my finger tips over tiny, delicate scales. Such beautiful scales.

The purple eyes closed as did mine and deep rumbling noise went through the dragon.

Time stood still.

My hand resting on the hot, black snout, an impression of something far older than I could even imagine, an image of what might be a nest. And suddenly... I felt pain. A hot searing pain that burnt through my flesh and muscles, led blood gush out of a hole between my scales, let the insides of my body melt in an agonizing...

I gasped, stumbled backwards, realized it hadn’t been my own body that was injured. I saw the dragon flailing, trying to make out from where the beams of laser came that burnt its flesh, the only weapon that could actually hurt it. I shook my head, glanced around, but couldn't see the Master. Was he using the same trick the Doctor had used the day before?

I heard screams, but none of pain or defeat, but of joy. Some of the warriors were chasing at the dragon again, hitting their weapons at the wounded spots. An arrow hit right into a bleeding hole, making the beast roar in agony and swipe its tail around. Something hit a wall nearby, my eyes followed the sound and then, only then, could I see the Master, sagging down against the stone, a small broken device next to him.

He didn't seem wounded, only shook. I ran over to him, but got completely ignored. His eyes were glued to the dragon – and the tiny object below its feet. My gaze followed and I saw what lay there. The laser screwdriver. Without it we were almost helpless.

A chuckle made me look next to me. The Master grinned from ear to ear. "Oh, I always wanted to fight a dragon!" he cheered. "Such an exciting foe. Too bad I couldn't hit his heart." He tilted his head, watched the others fight. "Perception filter broken, laser out of reach... Let's get out of here and-"

"I'll get it," I decided.

And before the Master could hold me back, I rushed away, sword still in one hand, trying to evade the flailing limbs and wings of the dragon. Was it the adrenalin, or witnessing the small advantage we had gained and the thereout resulting enthusiasm of the others? Was my urge to die in battle so strong? I didn’t know, didn’t have time to think about it. Something in me drove me to action, let me run faster than I probably had in years.

But not secure enough. The ground was uneven, stones lay strewn around amongst broken stalagmites. Somewhere I stumbled, fell with a yelp that got interrupted as I crashed to the ground, feeling all air getting pushed out of my lungs for a moment. My hands scraped over stone, got scraped up. The weapon slithered away, drew the creatures attention to me.

It turned, towered above me as I scrambled up to my knees. A step of the huge hind legs let the ground tremble and I fell to my bum, crawling away backwards as the creature approached. As if everyone else and even the pain was suddenly unimportant, the dragon directed his whole attention to me, his movements quick and agile. Black wings closed around me as he towered there, mouth hovering right in front of my face, the purple eyes boring into mine.

Again I felt it. A tug at my mind, an attempt to communicate? It didn’t feel intentional, however. My whole body trembled from whatever the creature emanated. And yes, in that moment I was scared. Not even for my life, but for something I couldn’t even name. The dragon carefully nudged my forehead and... Black smoke engulfed my vision, the sound of wings filled my ears. Grey waves crashed against wood and cloth. The roars of thunder rolled over the ocean, accompanied by the screeches of two ravens.

I gasped. None of it was real, the vision not even a vision, but drawn out memories of the dream from recently. How had he done that?

I heard people shout, heard the sound of metal against scales and saw the dragon wince in pain several times. Finally the attempts to get his attention worked and I exhaled deeply as the creature turned away. Shaking I tried to stand up and my hand brushed something.

The laser screwdriver.

"Toss it!"

The Master's voice came from nearby, close. I stumbled to my feet and threw the device, saw the Master catch it quickly and point it at the dragon in the same movement. It screamed as more beams hit it one after the other. Blood gushed out of several wounds, dripped from its maw to leave red puddles on the ground. Or was it a dark purple?

I found my sword again, not sure if it was even needed. But already the dragon latched out once again, took every last strength to chase at the Master. He ran away, shot more bleeding holes into the scales. One even right into the chest.

The dragon screamed in a high pitched noise, made everyone who was still standing cover their ears. The creature was barely able to spread the enormous wings anymore, with too many arrows piercing the muscles by now. Limping and with its mouth hanging open slightly, the dragon came close to the Master, growled deeply. The Time Lord stopped moving, only stretched out his hand, pointed his laser. A scene for a painting, I thought fascinated and sad at the same time. This fight wouldn’t last much longer.

With the last of his strength the dragon suddenly chased after the Master once again, teeth blinking, purple glowing rage. I was out of the way and still close, standing almost between them. So damn close. I can stop it, came an insane thought. If I could manage to hit that wound the laser had left at the chest. If I could… I already did. Somehow I moved, didn't know why or how, but I ran. The Master shouted something I couldn't hear and didn't care about. The dragon would shred him to pieces, superior biology or not. So why didn't the bloody idiot move away? The dragon approached with two thundering steps, the massive body right in front of me, my sword rose, gripped tightly with two hands. With all the strength I could muster I rammed it forward, somehow hit the right spot and felt the blade sink into flesh. Hot muscles above, black leathery wings to both sides. Something hit me, let me crash to the ground. The dragon collapsed, let out a mournful whale and…

Blackness. Eternal, timeless. Nothing existed and would ever do. Only them. Wings and smoke and travellers, unaware, waiting, sleeping. Waves crashed against the shores, smoke rose into the sky. Black ink soaked velvet scales. A voice, hundreds of voices without words. Purple blood dripped upwards through an hour glass, sand ran down the carcass of a broken skeleton. Something burned, flames danced through a desert of obsidian. There was a heartbeat, slowly dying. There was a second one, faint and small, not yet ready to hatch. There was something heavy, hot and dripping, laying on my chest, taking all air from my lungs.

My eyes snapped open only to reveal a mass of black scales. I couldn't move, almost all of my body being pinned down. There were people calling something. Then silence. Or maybe everything was just muffled.

Slowly I realized that I lay buried underneath the dead monstrosity, that the vision I had seen must have been the last dying thoughts of the dragon. A plea without words. I wasn’t sure what it meant, was confused why the dragon had never attacked me directly. I tried to move, reached my hands up in the tiny gap between me and the body, pushed against it. There was still heat in the creature, almost burning my skin at the touch.

Then it moved. And for the shortest of moments I was sure it would heave itself up now and end what it had started with me. But the movement wasn't its own. Again I heard muffled voices, realized just how silent it was under the dead creature. Only when a small gap was created did all the impressions storm back to me in a rush. Light, colour, sound, cold air.

Hands gripped me under the arms, pulled me out, slowly, careful not to hurt me. I was dragged in a half sitting position, leaning against someone. My sight was blurred on one eye and it was hard to make out things around me like that. One of the contact lenses must have fallen out.

"Can you move?" someone asked.

"Y…Yeah. I think so."

The hands vanished and I somehow stumbled to my feet. Everything spun and hurt. I let out a small groan and held my head, looked up and startled.

Everyone was watching me.

I blinked and gaped at the small crowd. Some were clearly hurt, stood supported by others, but no one seemed dead or seriously wounded. Ivar was among them, the widest grin on his face when he rose his bow. The others followed his example, weapons were raised and everyone together let out a triumphant cry of victory.

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Chapter 45: Chapter 44

Wide eyed I stared at the small crowd of men and women who celebrated our victory. I saw several wounds and shred armour and clothes, but all of them smiled and yelled and it was just contagious. A laugh bubbled up in my chest, I raised my fist and let out a cry myself, grinning from ear to ear.

Ivar ran over, hugged me tight and even lifted me from the ground. "By all gods, Roka! I thought you had been crushed!" He laughed and sat me back to the ground, looked behind me. "If it hadn't been for Erik's help we couldn't have moved the corpse enough."

I turned and needed a moment to adjust my eyes, due to the one missing contact lens. But then I saw who had helped me up. The Master stood there, glaring at Ivar with barely contained hatred. His look landed on me, got even worse for a second, before he simply stormed past us and vanished behind the dragon's corpse.

My heart dropped painfully. Even after we had fought together he still left me behind like that, without even a word or explanation. It hurt more than all the scrapes and scratches on my body.

"Let's get out and inform the others," one man spoke up, referring to the backup group that had stayed outside. For both cases, to inform the settlement if we lost, or to help get the dragon's corpse out of the cave if we won. "And get our injured people patched up."

For the most part I stayed silent on our way back, barely noticing the pain from my wounds. None of them stung as much as my heart did. I knew it shouldn't, knew it was stupid and inappropriate to be so down. But it was no help.

"You alright?" Ivar asked eventually.

I hummed. "Just exhausted," I half lied.

The Doctor was in the settlement, awaiting our return eagerly. It seemed he had annoyed at least half a dozen people with his fidgeting by now, but a group of children was surrounding him, begging him for more stories when I came in hearing distance.

"Maybe later," he promised with a smile and searched our little crowd with his eyes. They landed on me for a brief moment, but quickly darted further and his face became worried.

"He's still alive," I mumbled towards him. "Probably stealing some dragon teeth or whatever."

The Doctor let out a relieved sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. "I have no idea how he managed to leave the TARDIS. I wanted to fly off, but then he wasn't there anymore and..."

I blinked at him, once, twice. I shouldn't feel so disappointed, I just shouldn't. After all, I myself had told him I didn't want to return. So why did it hurt so much to hear he had been leaving so soon? And without even saying goodbye. All he seemed to care about was to get his prisoner back into his chains and then... Whatever it was he was actually doing.

I swallowed down all my feelings and gave him a weak smile. "Just so you know. He saved us all. Without his laser screwdriver none of us could have defeated the dragon."

The Doctor's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open to form a silent 'o'. Not that it would change anything, but maybe... Why did I even care? For a second I truly hated myself for still trying. The Master wouldn't thank me, wouldn't ever learn that I had told this. And even if...

By the light of the next day they'd long be far away.

It was impossible to find rest this night, and maybe it was for the better. Surely there were more weird dreams lurking in the depths of my mind. If not about waves and ravens, then about things I didn't want to think about.

How I would live from now on, how I would fit in - or not. Where I even was supposed to stay. Would I need to build my own home? There was enough space in the burnt ruins. For the night I had settled in the guest house again, had managed to make a fire after some attempts, had watched until the flames had died down to embers, then ignited another few logs so I wouldn't freeze in bed.

A nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach made me hope someone would knock, would just ask where and how I was. Maybe Ivar would come. To celebrate our victory, to see if I was injured, to simply be there, where everyone else had left.

But no one came.

It wasn't surprising, really.

With the first rays of sunlight I climbed out from under the pelts, got myself clean and slipped into the only clothes I now possessed, although they were quite dirty and had stains of my and the dragon's blood on them. Well, better than nothing. I could hide the worst under the pelt cloak the Master had given to... I scowled and almost threw it away, but then decided against it. Outside the temperatures were still freezing cold.

I also made sure to clean all wounds I could find. Most of them were only scratches and scraped off skin. Nothing to be concerned about. Only the two long, deep scratches that stretched over my right side looked nasty. In the ruckus of the fight I hadn't even noticed that the dragon had caught me once. Only after I had calmed down had I noticed a pain at this spot. It was hard to bandage them properly, but that didn't matter much.

A bigger vexation was the missing contact lens. Only seeing sharp on one eye made my head dizzy and I saw worse than had I gone blind on that site. A few strings and a patch of leather would do. For now. What would happen to me when the second lens got lost? This was something I hadn't thought about.

Without some sort of optical aid, I'd soon be a cripple in this world.

At the peak of dawn I returned to the settlement, mind mostly empty, numb. But as soon as people saw me I got torn out of the stupor. Someone waved me over, grabbed my arm with a wide grin and led me to a large space in the middle of the village. Here everyone had gathered around an enormous fire. The dragon's head decorated the space and everyone who had fought against him stood around the head.

They pushed me towards it to be there with the others. Many cheered when they saw me and my heart fluttered surprised at so much attention. There was music, singing, laughter.

And I remembered that it was the night of Yule.

Winter Solstice.

Something within me vibrated with the drums and the strings that filled the air, resonated with the laughter and light-heartedness of people. A smile tugged on my lips.

This was a night of magic. One to drown all sorrow and forget about the future, the past. Nothing mattered but the very moment.

The earl stepped forward, followed by a boy and a girl, maybe ten years old. Both wore folded pelts in their arms with metal objects on them. I couldn't make out what it exactly was. We all had to stand around the dragon's head now, facing away from it and into the crowd of villagers.

After lots and lots of cheers they eventually quieted down, respecting the earl's raised hand. A proud smile graced his weather hardened features.

"The great dragon has tyrannized us for long enough. The bravest among you ventured out to make an end to this. And not only did you succeed, you also came back alive. All of you!" The crowd cheered and I saw more than one giddy grin on my companions' faces. "Each and every one of you will be known as a warrior, as an honoured presence among us. Your children and children's children will sing songs and tell stories of this day." He waved his hand towards the boy and the girl so they would come closer. "Our craftsmen have used the day to make these for you. Wear them with pride. You've earned them well."

The earl took one object after the other and attached it to the clothes of each of us. When he came to me I saw it was a brooch to hold together cloaks. The metal was delicately carved with runes and each brooch was decorated with one of the thin, sharp teeth of the dragon.

"You are a stranger and still fought alongside my warriors," the earl spoke. "And you even landed the final blow, as I got told. I thank you in the name of my village. Be an honoured guest for as long as you wish."

I nodded respectfully and my chest swelled with pride as I glanced down at the brooch. Never in my life had I gotten something as valuable as this. It was a sign of victory, one of bravery and... I glared up at the sky, admiring the stars. No, I hadn't been brave. Only tired of living. But that wasn't something anyone would want to hear.

A night of magic.

Yule.

Nothing else was important now and I tried my best to get lost in the night. Someone pushed a mead filled horn into my hands and I drank, enjoying the sweet taste. There was plenty of alcohol and food. Enough to sate even the last hungry soul.

I saw a figure spring up all of a sudden, raising a huge piece of the dragon's tail into the air. People tried to keep him from it, but he just ran away, triumphantly laughing.

I saw people dancing to strange, hypnotic drumbeats and other instruments. A girl, surely not older than twenty grabbed my hand and made me dance with her. Luckily there was no set rhythm to it, we only moved how the music guided us and laughed and fooled around for a bit. Never before had I been one for dancing, had always stayed away from parties and other too loud places, but here it felt natural, unforced.

There was more mead and I would probably suffer a terrible headache from it in the morning. But that didn't matter now.

Later I found Ivar, surrounded by a handful of women, who all wanted to hear of his role in the fight, eyes wide and interested. Not in the story, though.

Ivar saw me approach and nodded in my direction.

"Hey, there's another hero!" he called out grinning.

A young, blond woman raised her voice. "What? You let that boy really fight against such a monster?"

Right, of course they thought me a boy. My looks and clothes were nothing even close to what they wore. Not that I wanted to change attire, but somehow it now bugged me that they didn't see me as a woman. Maybe I simply should tell, and already I opened my mouth, but got interrupted by Ivar, who lay an arm around my shoulders, grin wide.

"Sure. He wouldn't listen. You know how the young ones are." He winked at me and chuckled.

I wanted to protest, wanted to tell him I didn't care if anyone would know. But then he gave me a barely noticeable headshake and his eyes nodded towards the crowd of admires.

Why, of course. He wanted to use the newly gained attention when, before, he hadn't been a target for it. A small, nasty sting sat in my chest at the realisation.

"I'm older than I look," I therefore told with a scowl "And I'm not a-"

"Hey! Fifteen isn't old." Ivar laughed and nudged me playfully. He clearly intended to keep the silly disguise intact.

I gritted my teeth and tried not to let show what I thought of this. Should I hide who I was for the rest of my life? That couldn't be the plan. But whatever it was, I would not learn of it. Another woman grabbed his arm and tugged him into the crowd, asking for a dance to the wild music.

Ivar only shrugged, smiling impishly and let himself be dragged away.

I didn't feel anything at that moment. It was just… how it was. How it always was. The nights before he had sought comfort in me as much as I had in him. Because no one else had paid attention or shown interest. Now he got both. And I wasn't important anymore. Just like always.

A night of magic.

I huffed and got more mead. Should my head hurt all it wanted. For those next hours I didn't want to know of anything anymore. Maybe I'd be lucky and freeze in some ditch while being unconscious.

It was hard to keep my mind quiet, however. Alcohol had never helped much with that, neither did it now.

The evening grew colder, the hours passed by. It probably was around midnight when most of the people either went home or gathered in the large mead hall to continue their festivity. I left after not much time, unable to stand so much noise and heat and all the different impressions that washed over me in a compressed mass in there.

I didn't mind the cold, wanted to see the stars. There were several exits to the hall and I sat down on the stairs by the most secluded one. My hands clutched the sawn off horn in them. The mead in it was hot and also had an addition of berries to it. From time to time I took a small sip, enjoying the strange taste.

So... here I was. Among people I didn't know, in a time that wasn't my own, all alone and without a proper place to stay or the means for the day to day life here. I tapped against my eye patch and sighed. My time here was very limited, I realized. One way or the other. Being almost blind would render me completely useless here. A cripple.

People tend to picture these times as romantic, but in truth it was harsh and unforgiving. Could you not fight for yourself you were lost, discarded even. Because no one had the resources to have you be a burden. And I was a stranger to them.

It didn't matter.

What had been done once could be repeated. And this time there was no alien popping up to prevent me from it.

The thought was as cold and dry as the last time. Maybe even more so. I had seen the unfathomable, I had had the opportunity to go to places no one else in my time would ever visit. And for that I was grateful, content even.

Somehow, in that moment, I came to realize how many old people must feel, when they sensed their end coming closer. Looking back over their lives, remembering only the good, no matter how much bad there had been. A story... it was all that would remain of me. And that actually was a good thing.

As I gazed up at the sky, hands around the warm horn, a light appeared in the sky, slowly spreading over the velvet cloak of blackness, stretching across the stars like a road. Or maybe... like the rainbow bridge Bifröst, that led to the world of the gods.

The aurora hung there in its most mesmerizing shades of green and blue, purple and yellow, moving, shifting, ever so slightly. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Would ever see. Wistfully my heart ached, mouth slightly opened in utter awe. Almost I could hear the curtain of light sing, although I knew it was only an illusion. I didn't care.

"Ah right, that's what you came here for, in the first place."

It took me a long moment for the voice to even enter my awareness. I was too lost in the ethereal light. And when I turned around to see who had spoken, my heart leapt to my throat in surprise and relief and so many other emotions at once that I impossibly could name them all.

There, leaned against one of the wooden beams, still in his black gambeson, stood the Master, arms folded and eyes resting on the northern lights, before they slowly lowered to me, accompanied by a mischievous smile.

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Chapter 46: Chapter 45

Author's Notes: Well... Time Lords are not humans... that alone makes for some funny ideas. *giggles*

"Oof, I'm not that drunk, am I?" I mumbled, my voice slurring a little.

The Master chuckled and pushed himself away to come closer and sit down onto the steps right next to me. His shoulder lightly touched mine as if to prove that he was real. Not that it was needed, the little warmth his body gave off proved it well enough, made me aware of the cold.

"What's with that eyepatch," he asked mockingly and tugged at it. "I thought you wanted to be a viking and not a pirate." The Master chuckled at his own dumb joke.

I slapped his hand away, scowling. "I don't want to be either. Contact lens fell out."

"Not a problem. You'll get some new ones. Or your specs if you prefer those."

It took a moment for his words to sink in, or rather their meaning. The Master laughed at my confused face and nudged me. His features turned serious, however, at his next words.

"You're not staying here."

Despite my situation I huffed derisively. "And that's your decision now?"

"Actually… yes." Casually he propped his arm on my shoulder. "A part of me is keeping you alive, lil' lumin. My energy is it that keeps your body functioning." His eyes bore into mine intensely. "That does give me the right to make this decision."

Okay. No arguing with that. He had a point there. But that was as good as it would get. I growled in frustration, because nothing made sense with him. And his bloody arm was annoying, too, so I wound out of the way and pushed against him, even though I knew I didn't have the strength to really shove the Master. Instead I sprung up and trod in front of him, bending down a little.

"You're so messed up, you know that?" I snapped at him, angry at the tears in my eyes.

The Master only cringed. "Tell me about it." He chuckled at my eye-roll. "Well, you can make a fuss as much as you want. You'll come back with me. I don't care what you or the Doctor thinks about it." A dark look clouded his eyes for a moment, suddenly replaced by something that could be anger. "So go and say goodbye to your boyfriend. We're leaving."

My mouth dropped open and for a moment I was simply speechless. Something had gone majorly wrong here, I realized. Somehow I managed to calm down, the alcohol probably helped, and drew in a deep breath, my hand wiping over my face.

"He's not my boyfriend," I let out exasperated.

The Master arched a brow and tilted his head, looking weirdly confused all of a sudden.

"But you wanted to stay here with him."

My hand dropped to my side. "Yes!" I snapped, anger bubbling up from deep down. "Because you pushed me away! And I don't even get why! What the bloody hell made you so angry?"

"You... slept with him," came the answer, sounding almost more like a question.

I grunted and rolled my eyes again. "So?"

The Master looked so puzzled all of a sudden that I almost laughed. His expression was so confused as if I had given him an unsolvable puzzle.

And then, slowly, it dawned on me.

"Wait... right... You're not human," I concluded. "Do... Time Lords regard such things as more important than humans?"

He opened his mouth and closed it again, contemplating his next words, before he attempted another try. "Time Lords don't really need any of that. But.. uhm... well... It mostly seems as if humans use sex as some sort of... bonding?" Again his brows arched questioningly and if it were for any other situation I would have simply laughed at having him of all people be so damn clueless for once in his life.

Instead I dropped back down to the stairs by his side and let out a deep breath. Then I couldn't help it and started to laugh, despite the murderous glare.

"Yeah, okay," I admitted after a while. "Guess many handle it like that."

"Then what's so funny?" the Master growled at me, brows furrowed.

I snorted. "You really should never watch some late night television. And stay away from the internet."

Now it was at him to roll his eyes. "That's not the same," he protested. There was a pause in which he gave me a strange look. "Please tell me it isn't."

"Probably depends on the person you ask." I giggled, couldn't hold it in. The mere fact that we had this conversation was weird and ridiculous enough. "Oh, don't look so angry." I nudged him. "I'm not making fun of you, promise. But to answer your question" - I poked out my tongue -"For humans it's... sometimes it's just... fun. Or comfort seeking. Dunno how Time Lords handle it."

"Similar... if at all." The Master scowled at the aurora, then tossed me a dark side glance. "But then it makes no sense that you're so scared every time I come too close to you."

I snorted. "Come on! You always behave as if you're about to just have your way with me! And that's not fun at all! I really don't need any of that again." I paused, pursing my lips. "I know you wouldn't. But sometimes you still act like it. And then it's just... instinct...reflex? Something like that. If that really bothers you, stop acting like an arse."

"Again..." he muttered, suddenly emanating something dark that made me startle and shy away from him. "Someone did that to you, once?"

Crap. Maybe I should take better care of my wording. But if he wanted to use this against me somehow, he wouldn't be lucky.

"I left it behind me. Doesn't matter anymore." My answer didn't satisfy him the least, that much was obvious by the barely contained rage he emanated. It wasn't because of me, though, I realized, sensed it somehow. So, for a reason I didn't understand myself, I opened up a little. "My... ex-boyfriend. It's complicated. He didn't... not with physical force, at least." I sighed and sunk together. "I probably don't have to tell you that people can be forced to things with other methods."

"And now you want to kill him for it."

I looked up and blinked perplex at the Master. He still looked angry, but also as if he had understood something. Well, the wrong thing, obviously. I shook my head.

The Master gave me a crooked smile. "No? Now I thought he was the one you wanted to shoot so badly."

"What would I gain from his death?" was my dry response. "Aside from being assured he can't do it to someone else. But why would I care about people I will never meet?"

A snicker made me look up and when I met the Master's eyes the tension from before vanished slowly. I couldn't sit still any longer and shot to my feet to stretch my limbs. So many thoughts were racing through my mind, it was hard, if not impossible, to pick one.

"So... that's it?" I finally asked, glancing at the Master, who also heaved himself to his feet, eyes however, glued to the stars above. "You thought I fell in love with Ivar and that I would want to stay here? And that's what made you so angry?"

They way he glared into the sky was filled with a deep longing and an almost palpable sadness. How long was he a prisoner already, I wondered. How many years or decades had he not been able to move freely, had been stuck inside the TARDIS with barely a chance to leave. I had seen what he was capable of and that his own behaviour kept the Doctor from giving him more freedom. But then again... Nine hundred years of living couldn't be spend by sowing destruction alone. There had to be more. A lot more.

I stepped in front of him, glanced up. He lowered his eyes towards mine, his expression barely changing.

"No," he finally muttered.

"Then why did you throw me out?"

"That?" The Master shook his head. "No, that wasn't about you. I was angry at the Doctor. You were just in the way."

So the other Time Lord had been right. Somehow this really surprised me. In the end the Doctor might indeed know the Master better than I had thought. Maybe well enough to also judge if those drums were real or not? Was he right about them? Was he right to keep another man locked away like that? Was I the one judging it all wrong?

"You felt so... safe with him," the Master continued, a deep scowl etched into his features. "Don't worry, I haven't seen much in your memory. But that... How could you feel like that with someone you don't know? And why don't you feel safe with..." He cut off his own sentence by biting down on his lower lip. As if he had wanted to say something he didn't want me to hear.

It wasn't hard to finish the sentence, however. Even half drunk. I gave him a sarcastic smirk.

"Threatening people's lives and wanting them to be scared all the time doesn't really invoke any sense of safety."

He glanced away, stubbornly trying to avoid looking at me directly. Sometimes he really reminded me of twelve year old and I sighed. Could it really be that he had been mad because I didn't feel safe around him? And if that was the case, why then had he acted even more scary than usual?

I probably wouldn't get any helpful answers from him, that's for certain. The most important thing I had learned, however, the only thing that actually mattered to me, was that he hadn't just left me behind, that he had never intended to drop me here and vanish. I didn't care about the reasons and my head was too clouded to connect this fact to our conversation before.

It was Yule.

And that still was a night of magic. A night that wore the beautiful curtain of an aurora. A night in which nothing mattered, but the moment. And when my eyes wandered from the colourful sky to the Master, I knew how I wanted to spend this time.

"I don't get you, seriously." I poked a finger at his chest and thumped at the mead hall. "It's cold and I don't see a reason to leave right away. We could have some fun in there. Let's mix them up a little."

That finally made the Master look back, then at the hall, then at me again. Ideas and thoughts visibly rattled in his mind, a grin slowly formed on his lips.

"You know... It actually was the two of us who killed that dragon. I think they should pay us some more respect. What do you say?" Mischief radiated all over his features, the boyish grin crinkling the corners of his eyes.

The Master strode into the hall, past the celebrating people and straight towards the slightly raised top part, where the earl sat on his throne, laughing and chatting with some people.

"Oi, you!" the Time Lord called out, gaze fixated on the other man's eyes. "I demand this throne for myself." And with a sweet smile he added, "Only for tonight."

Everyone who had overheard it went silent, including the earl himself. I was sure the Master had attempted hypnotism, but its reliability was always somewhat questionable.

It did seem to work, however. The earl rose from his seat and suddenly smiled.

"For this night and this night alone. You came from a place far away and yet helped our people survive. The honour might be yours, therefore." The man let out a hearty laugh and stepped down to vanish with the people he had spoken to before. "Take good care of the hall."

"Oh, I will." The Master chuckled, rubbed his hands and flopped down on the throne as if it were a sofa. His legs dangled over the armrest as he waved over a servant to bring him some mead.

I kept in the background, uncertain how to act. But already the Master waved me over and pushed a drinking horn he had just been given into my hands.

"Another one," he demanded grinning. When he got it he raised the horn and pulled me next to him. "Give a toast to the little dragon slayer! She landed the final blow!"

I had not expected to suddenly be the centre of attention and blushed, grinning like an idiot. Many raised whatever they were just holding and shouted a mass of cheers. And there, amidst them, also was the Doctor, trying to path a quick way through the celebrating men and women. He clearly wasn't amused at the Master's display. He had a hard time, however, to get close, and the attention clearly wasn't on him, but on us.

"A name!" a man nearby called out. "What name shall we tell our children?"

I glanced sideways at the Master, but he only shrugged with glinting eyes. What name should I tell them? My own? The fake name? A completely new one? Or…

I smiled and glanced back at the man who had called out. "Tell your children that their name was Dovahkiin." I raised my horn. "Skol friend!"

More shouts filled the hall and the people returned to celebrating the night. The Doctor had barely made progress, but would soon be with us. Something the Master blatantly chose to ignore.

"What does that name mean?" he asked with an amused undertone.

I coughed and couldn't hold in a laugh. "It's a name from a video-game. I just couldn't… It was too good." I giggled. "That won't cause a paradox, will it?"

"Doubt it." The Master snorted and shook his head. "You're such a nerd."

"Hey, it's totally fitting. I've been waiting to make some Skyrim puns since that damn dragon landed the first time."

"Yeah?" came the mocking reply. "Looked more to me as if you were about to wet your pants." He poked out his tongue.

"Pfff… You wish."

"Master! What the heck are you doing?!" The Doctor had reached us, almost tripping over his own feet. "Where have you been all the time? And could you just stop hypnotizing people?"

Nonchalantly the Master continued to dangle his feet from the armrest and swayed the mead inside his horn. He lay his head back and tossed a side glance at the other Time Lord.

"Naaaah," he drawled. "Too much fun. Don't ruin the mood, Doctor. We're heroes."

The Doctor scoffed. "You mean murderers."

"Oh come on," the Master spat and rolled his eyes. "Your hands are far from stain-free. Stop being so sanctimonious. And look at them." He waved a hand towards the people. "Isn't that something good? I made some apes happy."

"There would have been another way. I'm sure of it!"

As much as I was sad about a mighty creature dying, I also wasn't willing to let this victory slip. I plonked down on the arm rest, next to the Master's feet.

"Last time you scolded him for leaving people back to die," I dryly commented. "And now you're angry because he didn't?"

The Doctor's mouth dropped open and the Master started to roar with laughter.

"Oh, look at you, Doctor," he cackled and demonstratively wiped a non-existing tear from his eye. "How does it feel to have your own twisted morals served to you like that?"

"That's not... I don't twist anything! And I don't run around and slaughter some ancient creatures! It might have been the last of its kind! No one has seen an egorlblak for millennia! And you have nothing better to do than to murder it and then play king of the hall!"

Rage was bubbling from the Doctor, his dangerous side shining through vividly as he climbed up the small enhancement to the throne. The Master didn't budge at all, only his eyes gave away his ire.

And I... I had enough of it.

"If you don't intend to travel back in time to prevent it," I tossed in, "there is nothing you can change about the dragon."

"Oh right!" He threw his hands up and let them fall down again. "Of course you'd say that. Having all the praise for yourself for once. Feels great, doesn't it?" he mocked angrily.

I was too drunk and too happy with the current situation to let anyone ruin it, so I only shrugged. "Yeah, feels bloody nice. What now? Scold me? Or you want to keep me prisoner, too?"

Again the Master chuckled and his only comment was a happy, "Oh oh."

I sighed and shook my head. "Come on, Doctor. The dragon's dead, the village is safe, and who knows how much else. And the Master playing earl for one night won't let the world end. I'm rather certain of that."

"But that's not the point!"

Now the other Time Lord spoke up, decided to break his silence in a way that sounded as if he was speaking to a child. "And no one cares about it. If you hate everything so damn much, go and hide in the TARDIS. We'll be back by morning." He waved towards the doors.

"Besides," I added with a smile, "it's Yule. No one should be so angry. Not tonight. Not while the air is filled with magic and laughter. Not while the stories of old are alive in music, dance and mead." I raised my horn with a wide grin. "Just tonight, Doctor, okay?"

It clearly was the alcohol that spoke out of me, but what did it matter? It was fun and, in a way, I was right, wasn't I? Even the Doctor seemed to accept it, his features softening in a deep sigh.

"Yule... right. Almost forgot. Did you see the aurora, Lucy?" Slowly a reluctant smile stole itself on his face. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded happily and finally the Doctor grinned himself. He let out another breath and chuckled, the tension falling from him like an old, worn cloak. "One night. Right. Celebrating. I can do that! Just you watch!" With that he hurled around, his coat snapping against his ankle, but once more he faced back. "No more deaths here, yeah?"

I exchanged a look with the Master and as soon as the Doctor was gone we both laughed heartedly about the situation.

"Hey." Playfully I slapped his boot. "Are we good again? You and I?"

The Master gave me a mockingly arched eyebrow. "We've never been. You're still human and far below me." He chuckled at my exasperated grunt and raised his mead filled horn. "But for one night I can maybe turn a blind eye to it. Skol, lil' lumin. Enjoy the feast in my hall."

Grinning I shook my head and toasted back. "Skol, earl Erik, oh great slayer of beasts from beyond."

We both stayed silent for a few seconds, the sound and music washing over us. Then a smile formed on his lips and on mine as we exchanged mischievous glances.

This would be a fun night.

Back to index

Chapter 47: Chapter 46

Author's Notes: I found an ancient doodle on my hard drive. It's not the first time I had the idea for this setting. It actually had been planned for "The Master's Game" already, but back then I just wasn't able to put together something I was satisfied with...

How times change... :3

Also, this got horribly fluffy. *giggle*

After some minutes of watching everyone I hopped down into the crowd and left the Master to play earl on his own. It couldn't take too long for him to get bored of it.

Being in the hall was a bad idea altogether. So many noises, smells and colours. Everything blurred together to a mass of impressions. But right now I didn't care. Alcohol usually dulled down my oversensitive senses enough to make me able to enjoy occasions like these. Like it did now.

I drank and sang and danced, listened to stories and told a few of my own. From every corner came music, wild and raw and ancient, close to nature and the earth below.

It was Yule.

A kind of magic filled the night that cannot be explained by words. It can only be carried by tunes and drums and laughing voices, by the smell of roasted flesh and sweat honey mead. Once or twice I left to take in the aurora and its wonderful light. But I always returned, let myself be swept away.

Somewhere I met Ivar again, right as the tunes of a dance ended. He turned and we came face to face, his eyes lighting up at my sight.

"Hey! There you are. I saw how your friend conquered the throne." He chuckled. "The earl truly is in a good mood to let Erik have his fun like that. Didn't even know your companions were still here."

"Yeah. I didn't know either." Somehow I felt stupid at how jealous I had been some hours ago. No one would let such a chance slip. I certainly wouldn't.

"Will you still stay with us?" Ivar wanted to know, his look somewhere in-between hopeful and apologetic.

I smiled.

"No," came my immediate reply. And there was not the slightest hint of regret within me when I said it.

Someone bumped against my back and suddenly there were arms around my torso, holding me quite possessively. Surprised I glanced up and found it to be the Master. Who else would it be?

"Don't keep your hopes up, hunter," he growled. "You're aiming for the wrong prey here."

Ivar blinked dumbfounded, but then he smiled sadly and nodded. "I understand." His gaze wandered up and down between me and the Time Lord. "May the gods watch you on your travels. I won't forget you."

With that he turned and vanished into the crowd to be never seen again. I hoped he would find happiness in years to come. For a short moment I even contemplated running after him to ask if he wanted to come along, but remembering the Master made me quickly forget about that. This would only end in a disaster. And maybe bloodshed.

Speaking of the Master…

I squirmed in his grip to throw him an annoyed look.

"Why so hostile? He hasn't done anything to you."

The Master just grumbled something that got lost in the music and dropped his chin on my head.

"And you can let go of me," I sighed, tugging at his sleeve. "Not that I don't enjoy a good cuddle…"

That made him release me and I giggled at the childish behaviour, turning to face him. The Master bent down slightly, brows knitted together. "You're not staying."

"Uhm, yeah. You already said that." I stemmed my fists into my hips and regarded him with a tilted head. "Are you drunk?" I mocked. "Wasn't sure you lot even react to alcohol."

"Only if I let it happen," he grumbled.

"You clearly do then. I'd challenge you to drink with me… but that's a lost game. And I'm not fond of losing." Especially when I didn't have the strongest stomach and didn't drink too often anyway.

The Master cringed. "I actually was looking for someone to have a good fight with. Heard they were challenging each other somewhere."

"Guess there were a few fist fights over there." I thumped behind me where I had seen some men doing a little friendly contest. "Just don't ruin the mood by killing someone, yeah?"

"Oh, I would never."

"You know what, I'll watch."

The Master laughed out. "Want to make sure, eh?"

"Nope. Just wanna see Time Lord vs. Viking." Giggling I gave the air a few playful  punches.

"And you're calling me drunk." He poked against my head, swirled around and marched to the fighting group.

They cheered when they saw who had appeared and an opponent was quickly found. A bald guy with a short beard and tattoos all over his head and arms. The Master only grimaced at the guy and undressed his gambeson and shirt, before he stepped in front of the other man.

The Master actually didn't look that strong, I realized, seeing him like that for the first time. Certainly not weak, but compared to the Viking guy…

After a sharp call they made short process with one another. It was fast and all I managed to make out were a few hits on either side, before the opponent was dropped to the ground and found a boot on his chest. After that more men lined up to fight against the Master, but not a single one could win - even though a few managed to land a blow or two.

It was fun to watch him, to see how much faster and stronger he was than humans. The way the Master moved seemed almost too fluid and there was a weird aesthetic to it. I really should ask him to teach me a few of those moves. Most of the time he didn't even use any kind of force against the men and simply defeated them by using their own strength against them in various ways.

After a while he probably got bored and left, not without dramatically bowing at the cheering mass. He wasn't even sweating, I realized and pursed my lips when he approached.

"It's really not fair," I protested. "Why are you so much better than us?"

The Master chuckled. "It's just the way it is. Deal with it."

"You still got a few bruises." Grinning I poked a blue spot on his side and giggled when he hissed.

"Only because I didn't want to raise too many suspicions. Stop poking that!" He grabbed my hand.

"Okay okay." I giggled and looked him up and down. "You should get some tattoos." When he released my hand I traced a line into the air, right along his side. "Maybe a dragon here."

The Master snorted and slipped back into his black tunic. "Waste of time and energy. Next regeneration and it's gone anyway."

"Regeneration?"

He cringed. "You wouldn't understand."

My answer was to poke the bruise again. "Not the first time you underestimate humans."

"Shut up, ape!" he hissed.

Swiftly I stole the gambeson before he could put it back on and lay it around my shoulders. They had been used as light armour, but also looked really cool and were padded quite nicely.

"That's too big for a dwarf like you," the Master mocked.

"But it's waaaarm." I cuddled myself into the cloth and eyed the Time Lord. "And you look good as you are. No need for the badass mode."

He laughed out. "Well, whatever. I'm not cold anyway." A questioning look wandered towards me. "Do I look good?"

I gave him a thumbs up. "Decent enough."

"Wha-haaat?"

I leaned against an empty spot on one of the tables and poked out my tongue. Which was the wrong answer. The Master came to stand like a tower over me, eyes glinting.

"I don't accept decent."

"Well, 'm not going to lie to boost your ego." I giggled and poked him. "Get lost. You look good enough to fetch a date for tonight."

He scrunched up his nose and tossed a glance into the crowd. Then he spun back, bent down with a smirk and placed both hands on the table to either side of me. We weren't touching, and still only inches apart. His hazel eyes bore into mine, so close I could make out the pattern in his iris.

Someone had to teach him about personal space at some point.

"You're my date."

"Ab-so-lute-ly not." I laughed out and glinted amusedly at him. "And you say I'm the drunk one."

"Because you are."

"True." I shrugged. "Still don't wanna date you."

The Master chuckled. "Your loss." His look turned serious all of a sudden. "Not what I want anyway. There is something in your mind. Something the dragon left behind there."

Puzzled, I blinked at him. "Uhm, yeah... it tried to communicate, I think. But it didn't feel intentional..."

"Doesn't matter." His hands snapped up, enclosed my head firmly. "I'm still curious what it wanted."

Quickly there was the familiar tingling sensation swimming through my head, only that it was weirdly distorted, hazy, as if someone tried to shine a light through thick fog. The Master tried for a while, then grunted annoyed.

"Oh my, your head's a mess. Totally scrambled and out of place."

"What the...?"

He chuckled. "Because you're drunk. Don't worry. Will go away on its own. Makes it just hard to find anything."

"I could try and focus on it?" I offered, head tilted in his grip. "Or do we need more contact?"

"Try."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I had felt during the last vision the dragon had shown me. But the images kept slipping over and over again. The Master scowled at me and my answer was an apologetic grin. There was no helping it. I already tried my best. But the longer it took the more I wondered why he was only in my head and I not in his. Usually it was sort of both and for some reason I missed that feeling, this weirdly soothing closeness which it brought.

My hands reached up on their own, cradling his cheeks. And just like that our minds connected completely, like a puzzle piece snapping into place. Surprised, I gasped and heard a chuckle, simultaneously felt it vibrating through my mind. Being alcoholised had a weird effect, made everything blurry and hard to grasp. It felt like sinking down into muddy water, deeper and deeper, slow and steadily, as if I would simply get lost, only able to numbly watch the fading light of the moon, shining through the water's surface far above.

The Master mumbled something, voice soft and a bit amused. "Hey, what're you doing there?" Or did he think it?

"Dunno." Was I actually using my voice? Everything was so muffled. "Does it work?"

"Not quite. You're too untrained and weak." For once it only sounded like a fact and not like an insult. The words dripped into my awareness, sank down with me into the darkness.

My eyes crept open - had I closed them? One of them - both. One was still hidden behind the eyepatch. The Master was so close I wouldn't need aid to see him clearly. It was a strange sensation to be like this, holding each other's head, sinking deeper and deeper while still being somewhat aware of my surroundings. I got lost in the hazel depths of his eyes, drowned in my own mind.

Slowly I inched closer, my nose brushed against his.

One hand slipped from my temple, a finger suddenly on my lips, a smile on his own - still so close. His eyes wore a glint that was both warm and impish and confused me more than anything else so far.

"Don't," he all but uttered and eased out of my mind, straightened.

Everything washed back over me in a sudden wave. The hall, the fest, the music, the voices, the smells, the warm cloth around my shoulders, the racing heartbeat in my chest. I groaned and pinched my eyes shut. Too much. Way too much at once. And then also the slow realisation of what I had almost done. It seemed like a logic thing in that swamp of foggy thoughts, a way to strengthen the connection, to get clear, to...

I shook my head and looked up again. "Eh, sorry, shouldn't have..."

He was gone.

Perplex, I glanced around, not able to find the Master anywhere. Maybe he had gotten enough out of my head, after all. Whatever that vision might mean to him.

The night went on, with or without him. How much time actually had passed was hard to tell. I lost all sense of it. Maybe I even lost some memories here and there, snippets, short, unimportant moments. I made sure to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, but that didn't help in the long run. It only filled my bladder and releasing that wasn't the nicest thing on a cold winter night.

The only good thing about the outside was the aurora that kept glowing in the sky. Such a wondrous thing, a phenomena humans would only come to understand in many years from here. And it was one of those cases where science wouldn't ruin the magic, even add to it.

I smiled up at the bluish curtain, burning it into my mind to stay there forever, no matter how much the alcohol clouded my awareness.

Back inside I found a group of younger people gambling with stones and dice. It seemed complicated, but I quickly understood the rules and played with them for a while, even won some money. I decided to keep the coins as a souvenir.

More time blurred together, colours and music and dances and too much of everything. And somewhere in all that I bumped against someone, my hands between us and a 'sorry' already on my lips when I recognized the black tunic, and when I felt how icy cold it was.

"Have ya been outside?" I asked. "You're cold as an icicle."

The Master smiled mysteriously. Only then did I see that he now wore a jacket over his tunic. One that clearly belonged into my own time and not in this. But people were too far gone to notice. It also reminded me that I had no idea where his gambeson had ended.

"I've got what I wanted," he eventually spoke up. "And, as much as I like the taste, I think I had enough of their mead. Let's leave."

"Leave? Nooooo way!" I called out. "I want to stay."

His face dropped, a short hint of actual hurt crossed it, and I was sure not to have imagined that. I tapped against his chest, what made him scowl.

"Hey, whu's up? I thought we were good?"

The Master stroked a hand over his face and shook his head. It seemed as if he, too, wasn't so sober anymore. And when he suddenly grabbed my collar, it was not as rough as usual, in stark contrast to his penetrating gaze.

"You're not leaving me," he ground out.

"Huh?" Confused, I blinked up at him. "'course not, idiot. Just wanna stay until dawn. 's tradition, you know?"

The Master visibly relaxed, features softening. He released my collar and straightened. There was such a strong sense of relief radiating from him, in that moment, that I simply couldn't hold back a laugh. Especially when I considered his wording just before.

"What's so funny?" he growled.

I grinned. "That you're as drunk as me."

"Most certainly not, human."

"Why else do you keep forgett'n what I tell you?" I poked my tongue out, giggling at his eye roll.

"I'm not forgetting." The Master reached out as if to grab my shoulders, but let his hands sink. "But people always lie." His voice dropped to a level I could barely understand. His face was hard, but what I nonetheless felt from him was clear enough, even without his next uttered words.

"And they always leave."

Wide eyed I glanced up at him, at the man, who had burned galaxies, who had enslaved the human race to wage war against the universe, who had sown destruction in his wake, who left corpses and oceans of blood and misery wherever he could.

And all my mind kept repeating was what the Doctor had said about the Master so, so long ago.

Angry and lost... and all alone.

And I was too drunk to care about anything. So I took a small step forward and just dropped my head against his chest, ignoring how the Master winced as if a lightning bolt had hit him.

"What the...?! Will you get lost, you bloody..."

"'m not leaving you alone," I promised.

He tried to shove me away, but I had no intention to budge, kept my forehead propped against his chest and clawed my hands into his tunic. His attempts were only half hearted and eventually he gave up and sagged together a little. A sigh deflated his lungs, almost a sob.

"Don't..." he choked out and it sounded like a weak plea. "I can't... That's not me."

Surprised I glanced up, saw a weirdly desperate look on his face. Never had I witnessed him like that, all the usually hidden pain lying bare so visibly, for once. I had no idea what or who had hurt him so much and so often. And so deeply.

When our gazes met, he looked away, tilted his head backwards as if to hide his face. He took some deep breaths, eyes glued to the stars, even though they were hidden by the roof above our heads. I knew he still saw them, felt them, wore them all within his hearts.

"Why not?" I asked. "It's Yule. You can be whoever you want."

Seconds later his head lowered, revealing a sadness in his eyes that shot painfully right into my own heart. We looked at each other, maybe truly saw the other person in front of us for the first time.

"'t was a bad idea to get myself drunk," he muttered.

And that was a good enough excuse to gently drop his chin on my head and wrap his arms around my shoulders, carefully, as if he feared to break me. As if it was something he wasn't quite sure how to even do properly.

It felt warm, his hearts thudded soothingly against my ear. I could simply get lost in this sound that drowned out everything else around us. Being lulled in like that, it made me aware of how tired I actually had gotten, of how far the night must have progressed already.

"You're way too soft and cuddly," I mumbled against him and felt a laugh vibrate through his chest. "I wanna sleep on you."

"Oi! Don't you dare, you intoxicated dwarf." But he didn't budge, only ruffled a hand through my hair, making a mess of them. "There, suits you better." He chuckled to himself.

"Dwarves're cool. You have to try harder to insult me." I finally let go of him and, reluctantly, he did the same. I smiled and brought my hair back in order. "Alright. Let's leave."

"Before you do something stupid?" he mocked.

"Yup," came my giggled reply. "I'm in a very I-will-regret-nothing state. Could end really badly."

"Tzz, I noticed."

"'m still alive."

He glared at my smirk, eyes narrowed to slits, even though he couldn't quite hide how his lips twitched upwards. "Don't provoke it, lil' lumin."

I poked out my tongue and eyed the hall. Not much remained of the celebrating crowd. Many had gone home, others slept on prepared pelts, or simply on benches. No one really cared. There were enough still dancing and drinking and playing music that sounded progressively less melodic.

"Where's the Doctor?" I wondered. "Haven't seen him all evening."

"Probably sulking in the TARDIS."

"Oh. Hm... well... at least we don't have to look for him, then."

The Master grunted and followed me outside. "He can rot here, if I'm concerned. But then we'd be stuck."

When we exited the hall we were greeted by the last fading gleams of the aurora. Soon it would be gone, not more than a memory in our heads, superseded by the emerging light of dawn on the horizon.

Soon the days would get longer again, winter would cede to make way for the warmth of the sun, life would return and with it... some hope.

On the hill, where the TARDIS stood, I stopped to cast a last glance back, over the village and the still burning Yule-fire in the middle. Stories would spread, tales would be spun, legends no one would believe in my time.

I smiled.

"You coming?" the Master asked and held the door open.

After some seconds I tore myself away from the sight, my finger stroked over the brooch on my chest. I nodded, stepped past the Master into the dim interior of the time machine. Its humming had become almost familiar, greeting me with a welcoming warmth.

After everything I had been through and every decision I had and had not made, I knew, felt and accepted that this was my home now.

Back to index

Chapter 48: Chapter 47

Author's Notes: Sorry, not sorry *giggles* There are certain things I simply cannot resist doing. This chapter is full of those. Hope you enjoy. xP

"Eh… How about no?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, giving the Master the yet darkest glare.

"Oh, don't make a fuss." His grin was nasty. "You're by far not the first human I'd see naked."

"That doesn't make it better."

The Master bent down to where I sat, took my chin between his fingers to make me look at him. The grin was still there.

"Off with that clothes, lil' lumin. I promise to be careful with you."

I had just entered the TARDIS, the Master still outside, when a familiar voice called out.

"Hey, why didn't you tell you were leaving? I was just done scanning the molecular structure of the dragon's bones."

I turned and stepped out again, just in time for the Doctor to catch up. There were ends of bones sticking out from his pockets.

"Do you hide half the creature in there?" I asked and giggled at the thought of him carrying all sorts of disgusting stuff around.

"Naaah. Just a bit of everything I could gather. Want to do some research."

"With that stuff?" the Master mocked.

"Since it's all that's left."

They exchanged a venomous glare that didn't last long as the Master started to chuckle.

"I had a similar idea. About doing research."

The Doctor gave him a raised eyebrow. "Since when?"

The other Time Lord let out a laugh. "Believe it or not. I'm a curious man."

"Mhmmm… I know the usual reasons for that."

"The undying thirst for knowledge?"

"Yeah, to use it against whoever stands in your way. Which, usually, is me."

The Master sighed and shook his head. "Oh Doctor, how much you have forgotten. It had always been me coming up with the most interesting research projects, remember? And, to help your messy memory a little, here, they had only once or twice ended in something going up in flames."

"And you forgot how often your projects got us into trouble nonetheless."

"Which always thrilled you."

Again they glared at one another until the Master suddenly smiled and stretched his hands out. "Told you, I wanted a pet, didn't I? And that one-" he thumped at me-"only makes trouble."

"Hey!" I protested, even though I wasn't so sure if about being called a pet or being called difficult.

The Master completely ignored it and patted his chest pocket. The Doctor's eyes suddenly widened with curiosity.

"What did you find?"

"I might have dug around a little. In that head over there." He nodded towards me. I playfully slapped his site, which he only commented by sticking out his tongue towards me. "The telepathic traces the dragon left."

The Doctor's eyes wandered over to me. "What does Lucy have to do with it? Humans aren't…"

"Aaaand wrong again!" the Master announced happily. "Anyway, I looked at what the dragon left and it did what all dying beasts do. Make sure someone will find their inheritance."

"And by that you mean…?" The Doctor fixated the Master's chest pocket and also kept tossing glances at me, although I was as clueless as him. If not more. "What did he leave?"

"She."

"She?" The Doctor's eyes widened even more.

Surprised, I glared at the Master, already guessing what it was he would pull out of his pocket. And I was right. There, in his open palm, sat an egg. It wasn't bigger than an orange, black in colour and decorated with slightly glowing purple veins.

"Good thing they didn't check. It was the only one. Would have been a shame for anyone else to find it."

"You… you…" the Doctor stammered, then slowly grinned from ear to ear. "You're brilliant!" he finally called out, beaming all over his face. A second later he suddenly rushed forward, grabbed the Master by his head and pressed a quick but firm kiss to his mouth, then snatched the egg and rushed inside the TARDIS with it.

Utterly dumbfounded the Master stared at the spot where the other Time Lord had just been. His still opened hand dropped down.

"That… was unexpected," I commented, not less perplexed.

From inside came one last call from the Doctor, sounding suspiciously like mistletoe. We both glanced up and found exactly that hanging right above the Master's head, interwoven with some other Yule decorations.

I couldn't help the mischievous snort. "Did you just blush?"

I was sure not to imagine the slight reddish tint to his face. It made me giggle even more.

"Shut it, ape!" he growled.

"Och, but why?"

Damn! I wouldn't survive this, would I?

To my surprise he gave me a wolfish grin, slapped his hand against the wood next to my head and bent down slightly. "Because you're standing below that thing, too."

My eye darted upwards and I realized that he was right. I swallowed, grinned shyly and then quickly slipped away.

"Now look at you, little coward."

"Eh, once really was enough, thank you very much." I darted into the TARDIS, grinning when I heard his chuckle.

It was, however, interrupted by a sudden, extremely unhappy groan.

"Wait, that bastard just took it! Doctor! Return my damn egg! Immediately!" the Master shouted and stormed away.

This time I had no trouble sleeping. All I managed to do when I entered my room was to undress and flop down on my bed. This actually would also be the first time I'd properly sleep in here, my tired head remembered.

There were dreams, but none of them threatening, none wearing such foreboding things than what I had seen before. Maybe the dragon had something to do with the previous nightmares? It had connected with me, in some weird way, reminding me once again of how little I knew about telepathy.

In the morning - or whatever counted as morning to me - I felt equally refreshed and like a dead person. My head was eager to split into pieces, my muscles ached and I felt sick on top of it.

Weak stomach.

It took me a while to finish in the bathroom. Also because I had no clue how to properly bandage wounds. And the claw marks on my site were still red and burning. Usually, my pain tolerance is quite high, but that thing hurt like hell and was breaking open at one or two spots.

Somehow I managed. The pile of dirty clothes landed on the toilet lid.

"Can you dispose of that?" I asked the TARDIS.

The answer was a happy electric humming, followed by one that sounded concerned. For some reason I knew it was about the wound.

"Nah, it's fine. Will just take a bit to heal."

I watched fascinated as the pile of clothes just faded out of existence in front of my eyes. Another glance wandered into the mirror. Once again my face was framed by my specs and I decided I liked the look much better. This was me, small, a tomboy and nerdy.

I smiled at my reflection and stuck my tongue out. Yep, that's perfect.

Now onto the next quest: Finding food and painkillers.

Maybe food wasn't the beat of ideas I decided, still feeling sick. A lot of water and a few cups of coffee would have to do.

The last one I took with me and wandered the corridors for a bit, watching how they changed colours and materials. Some looked ancient, others brand new. Only the shape stayed the same. There were a bunch of doors, but I didn't dare to open any of them, unsure if I was even allowed to sneak around like that.

My coffee was empty now, so I headed back to the kitchen - with help of the TARDIS - to get a refill. And then decided to bug the Master.

"Again?" he groaned when I entered. "This TARDIS has no manners whatsoever."

We were in a room that was a mixture of library and laboratory. A very steampunk-ish style was present, the shelves and most of the furniture made of either dark wood or glass. Books upon books filled the space, but also a big messy table with many metal instruments, microscopes, different tools, screws, wires, pencils and whatnot. There also were glass displays on wooden cupboards. Some empty, some filled with strange plants. One looked like it could be an ancient alien miniature tree. The whole room resembled what one would imagine a rich English nobleman during the colonisation might have owned. Bare the pelt- and bone trophies.

Wide eyed I glanced around, curious about... well, everything, actually. The Master let me, surprisingly enough, and I caught small glances of him observing me. Eventually I ended back at his table and found a strange contraption there, resembling a weird microscope. (To be honest, it could have been anything else.) And in a small metal clasp sat the dragon egg.

"Oh, you got it back?"

"Yeah. Had to literally knock him out. And he doesn't know this room, so don't you dare losing a word about it."

"I won't, promise!" I straightened and dramatically put a hand above my heart. "So... is it still alive?"

"Hopefully." The Master picked up a few papers from the desk and thumbed through them. "I did some research the whole time, but it's hard to find anything. Even the TARDIS barely has data on this species."

I bent down to the egg, observing the delicate purple veins. Somehow it made me feel sad and at the same time...

"The veins are moving slightly," I mumbled. "Does that mean anything?"

"They don't." The Master still looked through his papers.

"Oh. Then it's some kind of optical illusion, I guess."

Finally he put everything down and arched an eyebrow at me, then leaned past me to take a look at the egg himself. Carefully the Master picked it out of the socket, surprise visible on his face.

"That's new. It did nothing before you came... in..." Almost in slow motion his head turned towards me, eyes squinting, brows knitted together. He held the egg out. "Take it."

With a bit of reluctance I put both of my hands together to form a small bowl and held them out. The Master lay the egg into my palms and then we both watched, not knowing what to even expect.

Nothing at all happened. Maybe it had been a coincidence. The veins still seemed to slightly pulsate, gaining and losing ever so subtle fractions of brightness. The longer I watched the more I realized it changed with my own breathing. Even when I changed it, took deeper or shallower breaths.

"Interesting," the Master muttered.

"It... didn't do that when you held it?"

"Most definitely not." He chuckled, glaring at the egg. "Alright, seems like I will postpone throwing you out for a while."

"Thanks?" I held the egg closer to my eyes to observe the glowing veins better. "Shall I keep it?"

"Yeah, for now." However, the Master already picked it from me, his fingers wrapping tenderly around the fragile shell. It only took a few moments for the pulsating to stop and he placed the egg back into my waiting hands, his eyebrow lifting when it started glowing again. "Maybe because you're human?" he uttered to himself and flopped down into the chair in front of the table.

Using my foot I dragged another chair over to sit next to the Master, the egg cradled within my palms. Did it get warmer? Or was it just my own body temperature spreading? It was so subtle, I closed my eyes in the hopes to make it out.

And when I did there were images. Hazy, barely to make out, but definitely there, somehow - smoke, black, swirling smoke in the darkness, endlessly collapsing in itself, spreading, folding, rising up like huge wings, a bird's scream, crawing...

I fell into the darkness.

Fell.

And landed against something solid, but nonetheless soft. In my hands I still felt the egg, now hot to the touch, without burning my skin. I glanced up, finding the Master's head above me, his face wearing a look of annoyance and confusion. I must have fallen against him, or had he caught me? He pushed me back into the chair - when had I stood up?

"You're connected to it," he stated. "No idea how or why. But be careful and don't drop it."

"I... sorry. It just... happened. There were images." I told him of what I had seen, my voice getting quieter with every word. "Why is it so hot in here? I can barely breathe."

"It's not." The Master eyed me, chin in his hand. He then took the egg from me and placed it back into the contraption. "But you look a little feverish."

I blinked. "Be...cause of the egg?"

"No idea. Another thing I have to figure out. But until then it's safer for you not to hold it." He wriggled his forefinger to symbolize me to get closer. "Show me what you saw. Like in the mead hall. Concentrate on the vision, conjure up the images. Since you're sober, now, it won't be as hard."

I nodded and closed my eyes again, waiting for his fingers on my temples before I did what he had told. His skin was soothingly cold against mine.

"Damn, you're burning!" he called out. "What the... No, that's not from the egg."

"Wh... what's it then? Did I catch a cold or so?"

"No... that's..." His hands vanished and he shot to his feet, grabbing my wrist to tear me up with him. "Why didn't you say something, you bloody idiot?"

"Huh?"

"You're injured!"

It clicked. "Oh. Uh... yeah. Just a scratch. The dragon got me once." I carefully stroked my fingers over my side.

Without another word the Master dragged me to another desk, pushed me down into a chair and rummaged through some cupboards. "Shirt off," he growled, without looking at me. "And whatever you have below."

"Eh… How about no?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, giving the Master the yet darkest glare, when he turned around. There now were bandages and some vials in his hands.

"Oh, don't make a fuss." His grin was nasty. "You're by far not the first human I'd see naked."

"That doesn't make it better."

Not that I had a problem with people seeing me topless, but the Master somehow always managed to make these things more awkward than they had to be. He bent down to where I sat, took my chin between his fingers to make me look at him. The grin was still there.

"Off with that clothes, lil' lumin. I promise to be careful with you."

I huffed and pulled the hoodie over my head. The movement made me wince and hiss in pain. I cursed under my breath and also clasped open my bra before I dropped it onto the pile. The Master had his head buried in the cupboards again and when he turned around, there wasn't even a nasty smile.

He only shook his head. "No one ever taught you how to bandage things? That's hellishly amateurish."

"I never got in so many situations where I would have needed it," I defended myself and tried to wrap out of the bandage.

The pain had gotten even worse than in the morning, however, and I could barely move enough. So the Master took measures into his own hands. He was careful, very, and I had the weird feeling as if he tried not to do something inappropriate, even on accident.

"Damn, that doesn't look pretty."

"Not really the thing to tell a half naked woman," a joked and poked my tongue out.

There it was again, the nasty grin, although it was more amused than mean. He dropped to his haunches to take a better look at the scratches, dripped some liquid from one of his bottles on a cloth and started to clean the wounds with it. Whatever he had there stung horribly, but I clenched my teeth and didn't make a single sound. He would not see any weakness coming from me. And I was rather certain he was eagerly waiting to make some snarky remark about me being human, again.

"I'll take a look at your blood," he mumbled. "The claws might have been poisonous."

"Poisonous claws?"

The Master chuckled and opened a salve, which he generously applied to the wound. The stuff was cool and a little numbing at the same time.

"We're talking about a creature that's actually too heavy to fly with its wing span and that can spit exploding fireballs. And you wonder about a possible poison? Use your brain for once."

"Yeah, fine." I smiled. "Still. Does it look so bad?"

"Hm... hard to tell." He tossed me a mad grin. "I'm more skilled with inflicting those than healing."

"Figured."

From the table he produced a roll of bandages and put everything else aside, before rolling off a strip of the cloth, gesturing me to stand up. I did and let him apply a big plaster to the wound, then wrap the bandage around my torso. He still was careful not to get anywhere he wasn't supposed to, but in the end it probably was simply beyond his capability not to at least leave a snide comment.

"Want me to wrap those too? Seemed you like it flat," he said with a grin, pointing at my breasts.

I snorted. "Nah. I'm fine."

He chuckled and finished the bandage. After that I carefully slipped back into bra and hoodie.

"Why's that such an issue for humans?" the Master asked, watching me.

"What'y mean?" came my muffled reply, before my head popped out of the hoodie. The pain was a lot better, but I still felt as if I was burning up.

"First you say, humans aren't that strict with intimacy and all that stuff. But then they all make a huge fuss when anyone sees a part of them naked. And your time isn't the worst with it. Go back a few years and it would have been a scandal to even show your legs."

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, right? I don't get it either. We all look more or less the same anyway." Carefully I stretched and bent a little to see how well I could move in the bandages. "Maybe clothes just appear... safer. They aren't armour, but in them you at least feel less vulnerable? I guess." I tilted my head, glaring at the Master, who was, as always, neatly dressed in black. "Time Lords also don't run around naked. Or is that only adaption?"

"It's called style," was his smug answer.

"In your case, maybe. The Doctor though..."

We both cringed at the same time.

"Anyway... Blood sample." The Master pulled open another drawer and got out an ordinary needle.

Obediently I hitched up one sleeve and held my arm out. People always tell me to look away, but somehow it had always felt safer to just watch. Like this I at least knew what was happening to me. And seeing some of my own blood slowly filling up a vessel was a weird thing anyway.

"It's strange," I mumbled, more to myself. "Just a few days ago there was only salt water in there."

"Well, stop trying to die and we won't have to patch you up anymore." His voice had sounded sarcastic, but there had still been an edge of seriousness in it.

"Pfff, it's not that I chose to get into those situations. We just stumble into some crazy stuff each time we leave the doors."

However, I also hadn't done anything to prevent getting dragged deeper into them. The truth was... I simply didn't care. Those adventures had distracted me a great deal from that fact, but in the end it always caught up again. In the end I was chasing one after the other tiny fragment of time where I didn't feel hollow.

"No idea how to treat a human fever, honestly," the Master grumbled when he was done. "Go, bug the Doctor about it. If I find anything weird in your blood, I'll let you know."

"Uhm... thanks."

The Master shot me a glare as if he was contemplating just putting an end to me being distracting. For good. But the worst he did, was showing me the cold shoulder and he simply threw the syringe on his desk to plainly ignore it, while his attention went back to the egg.

Back to index

Chapter 49: Chapter 48

Despite the cold reaction I kind of had the feeling the Master would look at the blood as soon as I left the room. So I did exactly that and asked the TARDIS to bring me to the Doctor instead. It probably was for the best not to think about the Master's behaviour too much. He was switching between being funny, considerate, downright dangerous or simply a prick within fractions of seconds. Maybe it simply was his character, maybe there were a thousand thoughts running through his mind at once and his mood changed according to whatever just came to the forefront. That was a thing I was familiar with. Or maybe he still was torn between hating and... well... whatever for him meant not hating someone was.

The Doctor was in the console room, tinkering about on a part of the console. It appeared he had ripped it out completely to strew all gears, screws and cables over the ground.

"How do you remember where what belongs?" I wondered out loud.

His head snapped up and a goofy grin spread on his face. "Ah, there you are, Lucy! Was wondering how long it would take you to recover from that hangover. What do you think about rainforests?"

"Uh, what? Why rainforests?" Confused, I blinked at him.

"Because there is a whole rainforest...y planet near the Hlochpla nebulae. Thought we might visit. Try out the local berry cocktails. They are infamous!"

"Eh... no."

The Doctor's face dropped visibly, like that of a child who had just been denied a cookie.

"No adventures then? The last no-adventure didn't go so well after all."

I exhaled into a laugh. It was almost adorable to be stared at with such puppy eyes. It seemed he really loved showing people around.

"Not now. The dragon got me a little during the fight. And I'm now having a fever."

Immediately the Doctor shot up, stumbled over some parts and still managed to keep on his feet while simultaneously rushing towards me.

"It got you?! What do you mean, it got you? Are you hurt? Bleeding? All internal organs intact? Where is the wound?" While babbling he hurried around me as if that would reveal anything.

I had to grab his arm to get his attention and he stumbled to a halt, almost bumping into me in the process.

"The Master bandaged it already. It's just a few scratches. But there's still the..."

"He did... what?"

"Uhm... bandaged the wound? And put some weird salve on it. Now it barely hurts."

"The Master?"

I blinked, once, twice and finally let go of the Doctor. "Yeah?"

A good bunch of seconds passed in which the Time Lord only stared dumbfounded at me. Eventually I raised my hand chest-high and waved a little. "You alright?" I wanted to know, half mocking, half concerned that I had done something stupid on accident.

That got the Doctor out of his stupor. He straightened, furrowed his brows, raised them, pursed his lips and finally thrust his hands into his pant pockets. "That's a first."

"What? The patching me up?"

"Yeah, it's not... Are you sure he hasn't put something dangerous on it, or-"

"I am!" I snapped and rolled my eyes. "Seriously. You act as if he's a ticking bomb."

The Doctor opened his mouth, popped one hand out of his pockets to hold a finger up and snapped his mouth shut again. The finger sunk. "Well, you can't know. But actually, yes. He usually is."

I shrugged. "Then go, give him a head pat."

That made him grin for a second, but his face turned serious fast. "I'll watch him. Since we're together he did change, after all. Somewhat. Only a little. I'm never sure it's only a facade or real, but... well... you have a fever. Fevers aren't good. Come, I have something for it."

While striding past me, he somehow managed to grab my hand to drag me along. On instinct I winced and tried to get free, but quickly calmed. He didn't mean me harm, after all. And he didn't seem to think anything, doing this.

Is he also able to sense my thoughts?, I wondered, glaring at our hands and being totally unaware of the corridors we walked through. It felt so strange to hold someone's hand. In both, a good and a bad way. Different. But to what?

When he had abducted me, the Master had also dragged me through corridors. It seemed so long ago, the details were already blurred. It had been strange, too, to walk like that, but in a purely confusing way.

And before that? My ex-boyfriend had always avoided it, had never wanted to show any connection to me in public. One of the first red flags I had willingly ignored back then.

And before that? I remembered small fingers, much smaller than my own. Those of my nephews. I had visited so often I almost raised them, to a certain extent. Had seen them growing up, going from helpless bundles I fed with bottles to teenagers taller than myself.

And now? What did I feel? The same confusion? A vague sense of security? If things were different, would we be friends?

I almost didn't notice that we had stopped. A door opened and I found myself in the same med bay I had seen before. By now I was freezing. Stupid fever.

"You really don't look so well, Lucy. Better sit down." The Doctor gestured to one of the sick beds and stepped to the grey shelves.

Was he concerned? Would he treat simply anyone like this? Sure, a doctor wouldn't deny help, would he? But, then again seemed his name not to be his occupation. At least not in a human sense. Maybe he wasn't a doctor of medicine, but of something else. Maybe it had a completely different meaning.

"What's your real name?" I wondered aloud, recognizing my voice to be a little shaky. "Doctor isn't really a name."

He turned to face me and brought a glass of water and some pills. I downed both in one go.

"It's the name I chose. Because it's what I wanted to be," explained the Doctor. "Someone who helps and heals."

"I see... You allow me to stay out of some sense of duty."

The Doctor's face dropped and went sad. A tired sigh escaped his lungs as he swiped a hand over his face.

"Sort of, yeah. We talked about that already and you know I..."

"It's okay." I smiled up at him and chuckled at his confused expression. "I prefer honesty over politeness. And... back in the console room..." I hesitated, unsure if my observation was correct.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you immediately asked if I wanted to go somewhere. That's... would you hate me, that probably wouldn't be a thing on your mind."

I felt genuine happiness when he suddenly smiled widely. The memories of my nephews returned for a moment and I had to think that he was a lot like them, when they had been little. Which was weird, because of his age. And he did seem to be very capable of being all serious and even dangerous. In stark contrast to this childish expression of joy. Well... alien. Somehow I kept forgetting the fact.

"You know what? That medicine of yours seems to be working quite well."

"Why, of course it does!"

"And, as it seems, I have two options."

The Doctor slightly tilted his head and nodded to show me to continue.

"Either I try and stay away from you. You wouldn't have to content with me, wouldn't have to bother..."

"Lucy, I don't..."

I stopped him by holding up a hand with a smile. "Or, what I would prefer myself, we simply get to know one another. I don't know if we can become friends. I... would hope we could. But it would be at least nice to be on friendly terms."

The Doctor chuckled into his fist. "Always ever so logic. And you have something in mind, I see that. Tell."

"Uhm, nothing special, actually. Just thought... I'm obviously not up for something big, right now. But let's just have a small adventure? Like... really small and-we're-back-for-dinner-adventure?"

"Oh, I like how that sounds! Are you okay enough for that? Don't try to cover up how you feel."

I cringed at that, because he had hit a point there. "I... don't know. But I always get bored when I have to stay in sick bed. And I hate being bored. I... hate being alone with my own thoughts."

"Mhm... I get that." He hooked his thumbs into his pockets and bobbed up and down on his heels. "How about... we simply go somewhere nice and have a coffee? You like coffee."

I giggled and nodded. "I definitely do. And I bet you know a fancy place to have some. You now," I drawled with a hopeful smile, "something with exotic alien creatures and stuff?"

"You like that, huh?" The Doctor showed me a big, approving grin, then his eyes widened. "Ohhhh! I know exactly the place!"

"That's what you said the last time. And then we stumbled into Skyrim." I sighed, but grinned. "Alright. Lead the way."

"Doctor... is that..."

"It is! Brilliant! Isn't it?"

He beamed from ear to ear, leading the way to the entrance of what seemed to be an enormous park. And not just any.

"It's a zoo," I finally stated the obvious, blinking surprised while I watched what seemed to be humans running around and taking photos. This, obviously wasn't on earth though. And the animals... "An alien zoo."

The Doctor flashed his wallet at the entrance.

"Oh, you're from the security inspection!" The woman behind the glass gasped and handed us two tickets. "I won't tell anyone. And..." She leaned a little forward. "Could you take a look at the jarogya cage? They escape so often, it's unbelievable!"

"Oh, we definitely will!" The Doctor beamed a toothy grin at the lady and we slipped into the park.

"Security? How did you get her to believe that?" Suspiciously I eyed him from the side.

"Psychic paper." He tossed his wallet at me and I glanced inside, finding a white piece of paper in it. "Shows you what you want to see, expect to see."

"I see nothing."

"Think of something. Something..." He drawled, looking into the air while walking. "Something you... maybe something you would like to happen?"

Something I would like to happen. I had no idea what to pick and blankly stared at the paper, my eyes widening when some letters appeared on it - in a strangely sharp, but elegant handwriting.

I know you think I hate you. But you are important, don't forget that.

My heart leaped to my throat as I recognized the handwriting. I swallowed and blinked away some tears that had come out of nowhere. Was that really something I wanted?

With a deep sigh I closed the wallet and handed it back to the Doctor. "That's cool. You have to tell me how that works, someday. But let's enjoy the zoo, for now." Once more I took a breath, then smiled.

"Right! Then on we go!" The Doctor clapped his hands, swiftly grabbed mine again and we meandered through the crowd. "The people you see here are humans, if you were wondering. We're in the eighty-sixth century on the colonized planet Florsch. Named after an incident with a space travelling seashell... long story. The colonists decided to make this place a home for endangered species. Collect them all over the reachable universe."

I glared at our joined hands and pursed my lips, contemplating to tell him that this wasn't exactly human tradition or anything. But while I listened I decided to just go with it. It wasn't as if this would hurt me or anything. And maybe Time Lords needed this contact to form connections with others? A thing I decided to ask another day.

We visited countless of cages, compounds, aquariums, aerial spaces and whatnot. Some places needed to be entered through a special tube because the air pressure inside was different. In one such places lived a species of huge creatures that seemed to consist of only three legs and no perceivable body. The fourth actually was a snout with which they dug out food from the ground.

Others required us to wear oxygen masks, because the species inside were breathing different air. Like that we visited translucent butterflies and a species of big blue ant-things that lived in symbiosis with a certain kind of tree.

One small guided tour occurred in a submarine and showed tiny fish like creatures, but with hands. They had built whole, tiny cities below the water and waved at us, when our vessel floated by.

There were birds and mammals and apes and all the things you would imagine finding in a zoo. And so many more that I could impossibly list or describe them all. The Doctor, of course, knew most of them and had many stories to tell, not all of them his own, but many.

In between we also had our coffee and chatted with some of the locals. Well, the Doctor did most of the talking. And waffles! They had real waffles! Way too sweet and hot and just so deliciously reminding me of childhood visits to zoos. I probably sat there, grinning like an idiot while eating it.

We also found the jarogya species. As it turned out, they were a small combination of cats and monkeys. And so absolutely adorable that I wished they would escape, just so I could smuggle one out and keep it. But, for today, they were right where they belonged.

When the sun set we leaned on a chest high brick wall, watching some bio luminescent whales lazily breaking through the surface of an enormous basin that looked like a lake. By now I was tired, but still content and feeling weirdly nostalgic. Today I had truly felt like a child again, experiencing all those weird and foreign creatures. It reminded me of the few times my dad had visited zoos with us when we had been little. Just him, my big sister and I. If my mother had ever come along I couldn't recall. Somehow my brain had erased that detail, which maybe was for the better.

"Why are you doing that?" the Doctor asked, and when I turned to give him a questioning look, I saw his tilted head and raised eyebrows. "That smile just now," he explained. "You smile, but look sad doing so. That's not right."

I laughed at that, unable to explain it. How could I?

"That's not funny. If you smile, then why are you sad? And if you're sad, why do you smile? That's two contradicting emotions at once. It's like you're malfunctioning."

"Beep beep boop?" I answered, tilting my head to one side and laughed again at his utterly confused face. Playfully I slapped his arm. "Don't think about it, Doctor. It's... not important."

He gave me a sad look, one that made my smile drop instantly, one that told me he knew of pain much worse than mine.

During the day we definitely had laid aside some of the differences between us. Getting to know each other... that had been the goal, after all. And not having to worry about any dangers had made the whole experience quite enjoyable. I had no idea what he had learned about me, that day, but what I had learned about the Doctor, was that he was funny and bubbly and always tried to be there for people. Many of his stories had showed me that he was always eager to help, to fix things, to be kind. And while it could be annoying at time, I still came to appreciate this site of him.

So, seeing such a look in his eyes, now, made my stomach churn and I felt the urge to somehow cheer him up a little. And that made me sad again, because... I had no idea how. One of the many things I had never found out how to do in a proper way. No matter what I tried, it usually ended in everyone getting mad at me and telling me I'm an ice block.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "I shouldn't have said that, should I? Now you're properly sad. Which is good. I mean bad. But not confusing anymore, you know?"

I bumped my shoulder against his and smiled. "It's alright. Let's talk about something funny. It was such a nice day. Maybe I just got tired."

His eyebrows shot up once again, but it seemed he accepted my excuse - for now. A smile reappeared on his features. "Right, it's late already. Let's head back and I'll give you more meds for the night. Does that sound good?"

"It does."

Together we strolled back, this time not visiting anything except what we passed anyway. Somewhere we found a small shop with souvenirs and the Doctor ran inside, delightedly. With a childish glint in his eyes he showed me some of the weird looking plushies and figurines they had to sell. I made fun of some t-shirts and flags and could convince him to use his psychic paper so we could take along a few of the items.

My first souvenir from another planet. A small figurine of a jarogya.

"Hey, let's take a few waffles back," I suggested. "For the Master."

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to protest, but quickly closed it again. "Well... he'll probably throw them away, though."

I shrugged. "Worth the risk."

The walk back to the TARDIS was spent in a comfortable silence. The evening was cool and smelled of fresh air. Inside, the Doctor gave me a few more pills. One for today and one for when I would wake up.

"Thanks," I said, giving him a smile. "That was a great day."

"It was!" He smiled back. "And your idea also was great. Way better than hiding from each other."

I chuckled and walked to the doors. "Yeah, definitely. Good night, Doctor."

"Ah, I'm not sleeping. Not now, don't need to... oh... I mean... yeah. Good night, Lucy." He wriggled his fingers in a small wave and strode away, leaving me to my own.

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Chapter 50: Chapter 49

The TARDIS led me to the library, where I found the Master. He sat in a comfy armchair, wearing earbuds and having a thick old tome in hands.

It made me wonder what type of music he might listen to. Probably something to overtone the constant drumming noise in his head.

The Master heard, or sensed, me coming. His hand halted in turning a page, his head lifted slightly, eyes wandering to the small tinfoil package in my hands. Since he didn't remove the earplugs I wordlessly handed him the waffles and strode away again, to get a good night's rest.

"You visited Florsch?"

I turned around, seeing him opening the package to take out a waffle and bite into it. "Haven't been there in ages." There was a small smile on his face.

"Yeah. It was really cool there. Didn't think you would know the place."

The Master gave me a funny look. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

I huffed. "For one, it's still standing."

The rest of the waffle vanished and he chuckled, licking his fingers. "I'm not so dumb to destroy every place I visit. Only the boring ones. Or those which annoy me."

"So, a human made zoo is neither?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"Great study materials. Don't have to run all over the galaxy to get samples."

The second waffle vanished in record time, giving me the suspicion that samples - however he might get those - weren't his only reason. I decided to leave him with them, not actually awaiting a thanks.

"I checked your blood."

Once more I turned back, slightly annoyed that he waited with talking until I wanted to go. A slightly mischievous glint in his eyes told me this was definitely not a coincidence.

"And you found…?"

The Master shrugged and bit into the last waffle. "Nothing. You're good."

I blinked. "That's all?"

"Thought you might want to know."

"And…?"

There was a pause. The Master never left me with his eyes until the last bite was gone. Afterwards he licked his fingers clean, crumbled the tinfoil to a ball and threw it at me.

With a harmless 'plopp' it bounced against my arm and rolled away a few centimetres. The Master answered my annoyed look with a smug, childish grin, leaned back in his arm chair, where he propped both elbows on the armrests and folded his hands.

"I made some tests," he finally announced. "Wanted to see if the egg would react to it."

"And it doesn't."

One of his eyebrows shot up. "How would you know?"

I shrugged. "A wild guess."

"Then guess how it reacts to your DNA."

"Not at all? Why's that important? You wouldn't make such a scene-" I waved over his posture- "because of nothing."

He grinned. "Smart." And he ignored my eye roll. "I'm not sure what it means. Aside from the fact that it's not something biological it reacts to… It's you."

Although the implication had been there the whole time, having it spoken out, now, made it only stranger. What did (could) I have to do with a dragon's egg? Their mother had shown me some vision, true, but she could have picked everyone else. Or was that the connection?

"Is it because the dragon connected to my mind, somehow?"

The Master slowly nodded. "Might be. Although it raises the question, why it did that. I'm not sure you noticed, but the dragon never directly attacked you. And it had plenty of opportunity to rip you into tiny, bloody pieces." There was a nasty, teasing smile on his lips.

Silence spread between us, neither having a real clue where to go from here. In the end I just sighed and turned halfway to leave.

"I need some sleep. Let's figure this out tomorrow."

There came no answer, so I strode away and simply took his silence as a confirmation.

The night was uneventful. Some hope blossomed within me that the nightmares had found an end, even though I kept getting glimpses, afterimages of how they had felt… Like a bad taste you can't get rid of.

I took care of the wound, was careful to wrap the bandages how the Master had done it and took the last pill afterwards. The fever seemed to be gone and the scratch was healing astonishingly well. Probably due to the salve.

Afterwards I went to the kitchen, greeting the TARDIS on my way. She hummed happily and I complimented her on the good coffee. This time I also had a small breakfast before I went to see the Master.

He was in the same room as yesterday, again wearing earplugs when I entered. His hand drummed on the table.

Tap - tap - tap - tap.

I wasn't sure whether he knew I was there and approached slowly. The egg sat in its contraption, not glowing or doing anything else. There were papers with handwriting strewn over the table and some with complex looking circular symbols on them. I remembered having seen those before.

The Master still didn't move. Only tapped his rhythm with closed eyes. But then his lids crept open, revealing almost black pupils swallowing the hazel. There was a void in his gaze, an absence of awareness, of sanity.

He didn't see me.

Tap - tap - tap - tap

I swallowed a lump in my throat, unsure what to do. It felt as if he was in pain, as if the drumming would tear through him like a glowing knife.

Tap - tap - tap - tap

Carefully I leaned closer and placed my hand over his. The tapping stopped and for a good minute nothing else happened.

"Lumin?" he mumbled eventually, eyes creeping open.

I retreated my hand and stepped back, waiting. The Master groaned and removed the ear plugs, running a hand over his face. It took him some moments to look at me and there was a tiredness on his face that made me swallow.

"Long night?" I asked, knowing it wasn't the case, knowing he didn't need as much sleep, knowing that what tormented him was not something so simple.

He huffed. "Yeah. Centuries long."

I halfway sat on the table next to him, lightly folding my arms. "What are they?"

The Master bent his head back, taking some deep breaths. When he glanced back at me, he seemed a little clearer.

"There is a gap in the fabric of reality. If you look inside you can see all of time and space. All at once, no filters, nothing to prevent everything from rushing into your soul." His voice was unfamiliarly soft. I stayed silent, only listened. "When we're eight years old, we are brought to this untempered Schism. They force us to look inside." He swallowed, looked at me, through me. "It hurts, little one. Oh it hurts."

"Wh… why do they do that to you?" I almost whispered.

He shrugged. "A rite of passage. A method to select. For some it reveals great secrets and are then able to advance the entire race, some others are simply overtaken by fear and some…"

The Master closed his eyes, his mouth twitched as if from a sudden pain. The memory itself was only unpleasant, but its result was burned into him like a mark.

"The drums," I muttered into the growing silence.

"Some go completely insane," he told in a low voice. "Kids we grew up with never returned. The stories we heard, whispered in dark bedrooms in the academy… some screaming until their lungs burst, others trying to claw out their own eyes. And worse… Oh, so much worse."

For a while he seemed lost in that memory.

There was no way for me to comprehend why anyone would do this. It seemed unnecessarily cruel. Just to get a few that might look beyond. Was that really worth it?

Then again…

"But why do I have an effect on them?"

The Master glared at me. Was it contempt? Hatred? Was it even directed at me, personally? The look softened and he sighed.

"I do have a theory, but…" He paused, absently glaring past me.

"The life force?"

He blinked at me and a second later suddenly laughed out. "I keep forgetting how smart you are." He chuckled some more and rose from his seat.

Smart? A blush crept up my neck and I could barely keep myself from grinning. "Just seemed logical. There's nothing else that connects us."

"No?" Why was there such an amused twinkle in his eyes as he approached? "That's probably good then, isn't it?" his lips twitched mischievously, but at the same time there was a shadow fading over his features. "It means I can break and bend you all I want." He leaned down, stroked a finger over my cheek. "I can make you my puppet, a mere toy on strings. I can command you to follow each and every order of mine, without ever saying a word."

I flinched away from his touch… and from the newly blossoming madness in his gaze. Even though he'd seemed so calm, just now, the drums were still raging in his head, clouding his sanity.

"Don't. Move," he whispered, glaring into my eyes.

And my body froze, obeying his order. Fear rose within me. What would he do to me? Why did he hypnotize me like that?

The Master circled around me with slow steps, hands clasped behind his back. Eventually he took the egg from its contraption.

"Open your hands."

I did, held them together, palms facing upwards. The scaly egg landed within them and we both watched how the purple veins faintly started to glow again.

"Now-" the Master glared at me- "Hold it. Don't let go. Don't move away. Don't eat or drink or sleep." With every word his look got darker, almost angry. He opened a door to another, smaller room and pushed me inside, then roughly grabbed my arm to twirl me around, so I had to face him. "When something happens, call out. Otherwise don't dare to bother me. Understood, ape?"

I had no choice but to nod and, even after the door fell shut in front of my nose, it took a perceived effort to even turn my head. All thoughts were clouded and foggy, as if I had lost my capacity to think. I should be furious, mad and angry… But I found nothing the like within me.

If the hypnotism wore off over time or if my mind simply found ways to work around it is beyond my knowledge. But after some minutes I could move again, was able to walk away from the door and inspect the room.

It was a storage of some kind and also a place to rest and be left alone. Shelves upon shelves lined the walls, filled with books and loose papers, objects of all sorts, instruments to measure whatever. There also was a dark green sofa that was also filled with books, but otherwise looked clean.

I flopped down on it, moved some books away with one hand and grabbed a random one to peek inside. My other hand kept holding the egg. I wasn't able to set it down, even when I tried. I also couldn't bring myself to leave the room.

Bugger!

The books were at least interesting, although it was hard to concentrate on anything. My awareness kept sliding back to the egg to observe it. The purple veins glowed quietly, in time with my breath. I held it closer to my face, removed my specs and examined the delicate pattern on the shell. It seemed sturdy, covered in tiny versions of the dragon's black scales.

After a few useless attempts to read I finally gave up, curled myself together on the sofa and just glared at the egg in my hands.

At some point I must have fallen asleep. I can't tell what woke me up, maybe it were the images of black smoke, wings and the screams of crows, maybe it was the hypnotism that forced me to keep an eye on the egg. Maybe it was the sound of the door opening. Maybe it was the faint heartbeat I felt in my fingers, intermingled with the sensation of warmth.

I knew the Master had come in, but my eyes still kept glued to the egg. I didn't imagine it. There really was a heartbeat, and the shell was much warmer than it could have gotten from my body heat alone.

The Master stepped in front of the sofa, his shadow falling over me. I turned away and around to face the backrest, cradling the egg between my hands. I knew the drums drove him to do mean and stupid things, but I was still mad at him. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to see him. I wanted to be alone with my egg, wanted to feel the faint heartbeat of the tiny creature inside.

"Turn around, lil' lumin. I can take away the hypnotism."

The words were softly, spoken, maybe even meant as an apology.

I didn't budge.

"You're mad at me."

It was a fact, not a question, maybe a little amused. I felt a weight settling down behind me, closed my fingers around the warm shell. After some moments the Master leaned  closer, tried to catch a glance at the egg, but I hid it with my hands and curled together some more.

He sighed, sat back and did nothing else for a bit. Eventually, though, he shifted, changed position. His arm went on the backrest. I felt him against my back, sensed hesitation I couldn't explain.

"It's only been two or three hours," he mumbled. "Must have felt much longer to you." His fingers lightly drummed his rhythm against the backrest. "I know I commanded you not to speak… But if you wanna yell at me I need to lift the hypnotism."

I smiled at that and quietly chuckled to myself. But I had no desire to yell and also none to turn. All I wanted was to drift away again and hold the tiny spark of life. My eyes closed on their own, already.

And for some moments it seemed I really had fallen asleep once more. Vaguely I got aware of movement, of touch. There was a hand on my head, gently stroking through my short hair. But no, I didn't dream.

"Stubborn little light." The Master chuckled.

The fingers remained, played with my hair, twirled some strands, combed through others. There was such a softness in his movements, it made me sigh and lean into the touch a little.

"You guard that egg well. That's good." It sounded as if he smiled fondly. "It's a precious thing. Maybe even unique."

I uncurled a little to glance at the small object. The Master leaned over me again and did the same, watched the pulsating glow. He sighed and stopped playing with me.

"Look, I know you're mad…"

"'m not," I mumbled.

A surprised silence filled the small room, then a short laugh. "You already broke through the hypnotism yourself? That's quite remarkable."

Finally I turned a little and peeked up at the Master. "Is it?"

"Mh-mhh." He smiled and the tips of his finger glided over my head a little. "Speaks of a strong mind. Oh, so much stronger than you're willing to admit." he grimaced and retreated his hand. "What a petty. I wish you weren't so important." He leaned closer down to me, something ancient and indeed evil shining through his eyes. "Then I could just crush you."

I flinched at his words and scrambled into a sitting position, trying to get farther away in the process. One hand kept clutching the egg, pressed it protectively against my chest. His eyes hungrily fixated on it.

"Give it to me," the Master commanded and held a hand out.

I shook my head, even though I could feel his hypnotism scratch my mind.

"You can't do anything with it," I muttered and licked my dry lips. "It doesn't want you."

The warm pulsating in my hand, the faint heartbeat. He wouldn't feel it, would only drown the developing creature in his own darkness.

The Master let his hand sink, his brows knitted together angrily. I took a step back, bumped against a shelf and grabbed a small black sphere, roughly the same size as the egg, I knew sat there.

He put on a smile. "Come on, don't be mad anymore. Nothing happened to you."

I huffed. "Yet. And that you want to crush me doesn't make anything better."

"Can't help it." He laughed out. "Humans are just a bother."

"Yeah… We are. We, too, love to break things."

With that I threw the small sphere into a corner of the room, watched the Master following with his eyes, then jumping up to follow.

And I ran, bolted out of the door and out of the other room, rushed into the TARDIS' corridors. A golden light appeared on the floor, leading me away and around two or three curves, before halting in front of the console room.

"Perfect, thank you." I grinned and let the egg vanish into a pocket of my hoodie.

The Master wouldn't risk the Doctor finding out about it.

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Chapter 51: Chapter 50

For the next few days I did my best to hide from the Master. It wasn't that I was afraid of him maybe hurting me. It was that I didn't want him to lay his hands on the egg.

Sometimes I wondered if it was still his hypnotism that kept me protecting the small thing. Ever since I had spent so much time with it in that room, I had a hard time leaving it out of sight and especially out of reach. Only when I took a shower did I set it down. In all other times I wore it inside a tiny shoulder bag I had crafted from some stuff the TARDIS had offered.

At night - or what would constitute as such inside here - I lay awake for long hours, holding the egg within my hands, watching the delicate pattern pulsate and feeling its warmth and the tiny heartbeat within the shell. During the days I tried to stay close to the Doctor, knowing the Master wouldn't confront me in front of him.

"Up for some sightseeing?" the Doctor asked, grinning, when I entered with my usual mug of coffee in hands. "Nothing big. We'll just hover in space for a while, watching the birth of a double quadroon nebulae cluster. Always fascinating. Happens-" he tilted his head and thought for a second- "only every billion years or so. I think there are only roughly a hundred of those in the entirety of time and space."

"Wait... like... actually going to space?" I gaped at him.

"Well, we're on different planets all the time..."

"Yeah!" I interrupted, excitedly. "But that's on the surface. And not in space itself. Do we have a spaceship? I mean... the TARDIS, yeah, but can it fly through space?"

For the last few days the Doctor had taken me to some harmless places. Cities, forests, a space-station with a black market. Okay, the last one had ended in us being chased by what could be called the local mafia, but it had still been a relatively quiet day. The Doctor did his best to stay out of trouble, even though I sometimes caught him twitching in the direction of certain conversations that hinted at bigger things going on. Once, I only patted his arm, told him to run off and marched straight back to the TARDIS. (He had to follow to open the door, but after that he was gone. And I never learned what had or hadn't happened.)

"Of course it can!" he now told, beaming from ear to ear. "The TARDIS has special protection shields. Not even an army of elephants can get in. Not even a Dalek can shoot through it."

Whatever a Dalek was.

He grinned at my wide eyes and jumped to a set of buttons to get us going. I held tight onto one of the seats, somehow even managing not to spill my coffee. After we stopped I pre-emptively emptied the mug and sat it down.

Meanwhile the Doctor had already hastened to the doors to open them wide. With a grin back at me he waved and when I trod next to him I saw a wonderful sight that is hard to put into words. I'll try it anyway, because it were sights like these that burned themselves into my mind, that kept me moving, even in moments when everything inside of me screamed to just stop.

Before us spread a field of vines - at first it looked like some, at least -  their size was unbelievable and the TARDIS was only a speck of dust in comparison to a single colourful strand. Dark blues and purples dominated the palette, weaved themselves through the fuzzy vines, blinked and glowed where they concentrated.

And all of those strands ran together in the middle, a point I was only able to make out after several minutes of trying to comprehend the massiveness of this. The centre, now, was an enormous sphere of colour and dancing lightning, so far away that it would take a century to reach. A storm cloud of matter, a blazing nest of energy, sizzling and compressing itself to something new, something rare and spectacular.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

The voice startled me. Firstly, because of how consumed by the sight I had been, Secondly because it belonged to the Master.

My heart leaped to my throat and I dared to peek behind me. Not that it would have been necessary. He put a hand to the door frame right next to my head and left barely any space between my back and himself.

Being trapped like this, I couldn't move away. The egg weighed heavily in my small bag, hung so close to the Master's hand. But he made no attempt to steal it. For now.

"It is!" the Doctor happily seconded, unaware of the slight tension between us. "They say if you witness this phenomena, you should make a wish. Any. The sheer energy of this place will carry it along and weave it into the fabric of reality."

The Master huffed. "Legends, Doctor. Nothing more."

Somehow his words wore a tinge of sadness. The other Time Lord replied something, a bubbling of words. But I heard none of them. There was a hand near my throat all of a sudden, but it quickly slid lower, rested somewhere near my collar bone and slightly slipped under my shirt. Skin met skin and immediately I felt a nudge and a tug in my head, so unexpected that I could barely bite back a gasp.

And I saw… I saw through the Master's eyes, saw him glaring at a similar sight like this, wishing for the drums to be taken. He shouted it out into space, screamed it into the weaves of colours. And when there was no answer and the drums still hammered in his head, he sunk to his knees and laughed, and then cried and screamed, begged.

The images vanished. I had no idea if he let me see them voluntarily or if it was just a slip. Might be for the better not to mention it.

"Do I make you nervous?" the Master muttered, his mouth close to my ear. "Your heart is beating so fast."

Crap. I couldn't move away while he held me like that. And now I also saw that the Doctor had left. Then there also was the foreign stream of energy in my head, making my perception hazy. The Master must have felt my slight, sudden panic and pushed me back against him a little.

"Hey," he quietly laughed. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"N… no. I'm just not used to this."

"Relax, I only want the drums to shut up for a bit."

I nodded, took a deep breath and allowed myself to calm down, to sink against him a little and just enjoy the view. It was indeed breathtakingly beautiful. Maybe I was the first and only human to ever witness it, taking into account how rare it was.

As rare as just being held like this. Admittedly, I had kind of missed the Master a little, during the last days. As annoying and dangerous as he could be, there was just something about him…

His other hand started to frisk my hoodie until he reached the strap of the shoulder bag and started fumbling with that. I froze and started to slightly panic at once, but there was a soothing nudge from his mind, running through me.

"You've taken good care of it," the Master mumbled and his hand left.

"'course I have," I grumbled back and tried to grab the small bag to get it out of his immediate reach.

"Uh oh." His soft laugh reverberated through my back. "Did I wake your motherly instincts?"

"My what?" I snorted. "Pretty sure I don't have those."

"No? You're not hypnotized anymore and still guard the thing like a hen. But that's not important. It reacts to you and keeping it close… well… I hope you realize it might still take a long time to hatch it. Centuries even. Maybe longer."

Could that be the case? But if that were true, why would it react to someone like me, who had such a limited lifespan?

"You… won't take it away?" I asked hopefully.

The Master chuckled. "No. I can't do anything with it. You might as well make yourself useful."

I smiled and skimmed a finger over the bag. Useful. That was a first. The egg kept warm simply by being close to me. Body contact wasn't required, although I still loved to feel its texture and the faint heartbeat.

"Oh, you're still here."

The Doctor's voice dragged me out of my thoughts and I got aware of how quickly the Master removed his hand from my skin. And therefore also my mind. I slightly winced, shuddered a little. Losing the contact so fast made me feel uncomfortable in a way I couldn't even describe.

"Yah," the Master replied late. "Was just contemplating getting some samples from the dust clouds."

"Oh, that's a brilliant idea!" The Doctor appeared next to me, peeking his head through the door. "We might even learn something completely new. I think I remember they told us about this at the academy. Something about that there were barely any studies."

"What can we learn from-" I waved outside - "this. It's pretty, but isn't it just stardust and stuff?"

"Might." The Doctor shrugged. "But I've seen sentient suns and talking moons. I know of life forms that are made of sound and elements that defy every single rule of physics. So…" He giggled happily. "Better to check than to miss out, eh?"

"And how do we get samples?" I wondered, tilting my head in thought.

"That's easy," the Master replied, and there was something in his voice that exceeded mischief and made me nervous.

I turned around and looked questioningly at the Time Lords. The Doctor fumbled around in his suit pockets that seemed to contain far more items than were possible to even fit in. The Master had stepped away from me a little, but was still in arm's reach. His eyes rested on me, then he reached over to the Doctor to rip the small vials out of his fingers.

"Oi!" he protested. "Don't steal them."

"Shut it, Doctor. I'm saving us some work here."

With that he slipped the vials into the pocket of my hoodie and answered my puzzled look with a childish grin. I opened my mouth to ask, but in that moment he already grabbed my collar, wriggled the fingers of his free hand at me and then... simply shoved me backwards and out into space.

Back to index

Chapter 52: Chapter 51

Author's Notes: Whoops! *giggle*

I might have had a little fun with this... in so many ways.

Also, I hope you're all well in these times. Spring is slowly returning and my country is trying out a few strategies to loosen the lockdown-grip on society. I really hope it'll work out. I'm getting sick and tired of it all. *sigh*

My heart jumped into my throat as I lost balance and fell backwards. There was nothing. Just the open door. Only space. The darkness. I tried to grab the door frame, the Master's sleeve, but I was too slow. My feet left the ground, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Everything… stopped.

I heard a mean laugh and the Doctor's scolding, although that also sounded amused. All those horrible things I had read about happening to a human body in space...

They all simply did not happen.

My look wandered down and I felt dizzy in an instant. My feet didn't touch anything, there was only endlessness. I was… floating.

"Whoops!" the Master laughed. "Did I scare you there, little one?"

"Come on, Master. That was mean." The Doctor, too, was barely holding back a laugh and he happily waved at me. "Didn't I mention the TARDIS' protective shields? It also creates an oxygen bubble around herself. Which is why we could look outside the doors like that, by the way."

Right. I hadn't even thought about that. Normally we would have gotten sucked out. Being around weird things seemed to have made me overlook other strange things.

"There also is some basic gravity, barely noticeable, so you can kind of swim around somewhat," the Doctor continued with a grin.

"And since you were so excited about being in space I thought I might let you do the dirty work." The Master folded his arms, leaned against the doorframe and giggled to himself.

"You could have still warned her." The other Time Lord slapped his arm playfully and the Master only stuck out his tongue. Thoughtfully the Doctor rubbed his chin. "What do you think? I haven't been to space for a while. Let's join her."

"Oh, I don't think so. Go and play alone." The Master rolled his eyes.

But the Doctor wouldn't give up so easily and tugged at the other one's arm to shove him outside. A small fight broke loose that made me think of brothers squabbling. One moment the Master had the Doctor in a headlock, the next he was pushed backwards and fought with his balance, but he could catch himself in time, grabbed the Doctor's tie and managed to get himself back inside.

In the end they both landed outside with me somehow, both giggling like children and still shoving each other around.

I stayed out of the way, carefully tried to manoeuvre around. It really was like swimming, just without having water around me. The protective shields also seemed to hold the temperatures stable, since I didn't feel cold out here. Which was odd. My brain had a really hard time processing all those properly illogical things.

Watching the two Time Lords having some childish fun together was refreshing and amusing. It almost seemed as if they hadn't behaved like this in forever, and maybe they hadn't - not with each other. I watched the Master grabbing a good handful of glowing stardust to rub it in the Doctor's face. As revenge he got pushed into the whole cloud, where he stirred up a mess and left dust traces behind him when he escaped, some nasty curses on his lips.

For a while they chased each other and I was content just watching from the TARDIS' roof. Somehow I had the feeling it would be best not to interrupt. Even though I didn't know all of their history, it felt as if they truly needed this moment, a break in all the animosity, a break from the tension and the hate that might linger between them for centuries.

The Master drifted through the darkness on his back, having a somewhat serene smile on his face, one I was quite certain to have never witnessed myself. The Doctor lazily swam over, hovered nearby and waited for the Master to drift over. He was at chest height to the Master's head and gently took it in his hands, stroking over the other ones' temples.

"I haven't seen you so carefree in centuries, Master," the Doctor said, smiling and glancing down at the other one's face.

The Master opened his eyes and looked back. Another smile tugged on his lips. "Remember when we hid the principal's time rotor in the arconeum? It almost was like this."

The Doctor giggled. "Yes, that was one of our better pranks."

They both laughed at the memory. The Master reached a hand up, stroked a finger over the Doctor's cheek. "Some days I wish everything could be like it was then," he murmured, barely loud enough for me to understand.

A sad huff came from the other Time Lord as he leaned closer down. "We were only children."

"Mhm… and everything was so much easier." The Master bent slightly upwards to get closer, but the Doctor almost immediately backed away, let go of the other one's head and even drifted backwards a bit.

The disappointment was clearly written all over the Master's face whilst the Doctor swam back to the doors,  almost as if he was fleeing. I hid on the roof, out of sight. This wasn't my business and I didn't want them to think I'd be spying on them. I wasn't. It was simply tempting to learn more about how they related to one another. A puzzle which seemed to yield more questions each time they interacted.

And none of your business, I reminded myself with furrowed brows.

Instead of wondering about it more I went to fulfil the task I had been given. The dust clouds wore so many colours and some of the dust seemed to have different consistencies. It also was fun to just swim around in space, even though it made me nauseous to look into the distance. No matter where my eyes landed, they could not find a point to fixate on, and my brain didn't like this at all.

I took samples from many different dust patches. The vials were small and many, so there was enough opportunity to collect. Maybe I would even keep some of it. In one vial I collected more than a single sample, some of different shades of blue and purple, that looked really pretty when stacked on top of each other.

Here and there I also checked the egg, once even held it into the dust to see if there would be a reaction. Nothing happened, though, so I stored it away again.

It also was hard to tell what time it was, or how much of it had passed since I was floating out here. Eventually I returned to the front of the TARDIS, where I saw the Master sitting in the door frame, feet dangling into space while a dark look clouded his features.

"Having fun?" he asked with a crooked smile, when I approached.

"After you almost scared me to death?" I mocked. "Yep, lots of it." The Master smirked and watched as I did a roll in the air, only to stop, hovering upside down. I floated closer and poked out my tongue. "How you're not falling down?" I asked, trying to sound as serious as I could. "You sit the wrong way around."

He blinked as if he needed a moment to get the stupid joke, then a small, almost noiseless laugh found its way out of his throat. It didn't manage to completely cover his mood, but I still counted it as a success.

"So, you were afraid?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. A little. That really was mean."

Another, slightly wider smile spread on his face and it was weirdly soft. "About time," he said and heaved himself to his feet. "And don't you ever again forget how that feels."

Every smart response I might have had caught in my throat and I rotated in space to match his orientation. Was he right? Could I really fear death again, instead of chasing it? The Master's face dropped when he looked at me.

"That was meant to be funny, idiot," he grumbled.

"Oh," was all I managed to let out and I forced a smirk on my face. So many years of faking happiness, it had its advantages. "Okay. You managed. I was afraid."

I didn't tell him that my fear had probably only been instinct, called forth by the suddenness of the situation. Or was it? And this godforsaken smile on his face then, as if he would actually care.

One that he used to hide his own sadness, his own misery, the pain. I manoeuvred back to the door, hovered in the frame, awaiting the Master to step back to let me back in. Instead, however, he grabbed me around the waist, slipped under my hoodie and spread his fingers on my skin. They were warm and careful and he couldn't keep himself from letting out a relieved sigh, all while I felt his presence hovering in my head.

This man was just totally unaware of the concept of personal space! And he obviously had no idea that humans regarded skin contact mostly as quite intimate. That or he simply didn't care. I wasn't even sure myself if what I felt was a slight anger, or even amusement. Probably a mix of both. Besides, I knew I was only a tool, the only way he had to quiet his mind a little.

"The drums again?" I asked.

"Again?" he uttered. "They never shut up. Never. Not for a single second."

Well, that would probably drive anyone crazy. I didn't mind him using me for some temporary relief of them, but couldn't he just ask?

"Hey, let go." I slightly pushed against his chest. "I wanna come inside."

The look in his eyes darkened, but he still removed his hands and allowed me to carefully enter the door. It was a weird sensation to go back from zero gravity to feeling my own weight again. For a few seconds I gripped the door frame tight, not daring my own body to cope with the change immediately.

"Are they worse today?" I asked, partially to distract myself.

The Master hummed confirming. "It almost hurts again." He shook his head, eyes pressed shut.

"I still don't get why I help with it," I mumbled and released the door frame, carefully balancing my weight.

"I could find out," the Master mumbled, glaring at me. "But you wouldn't like it." My questioning look got answered with a mean grin. "I'd have to probe your head, dig and scratch more than just the surface." He took a step towards me, a glint of madness in his eyes.

I swallowed, unsure if that even meant something bad for me. So far, connecting was actually a quite pleasant experience and since it helped him with the drums, I was more than glad to oblige. Then again did I remember how it had hurt the first time, as he hadn't toned down his abilities to my human mind.

"Is that... dangerous?"

"Might." The corner of his mouth twitched amused.

"Does it hurt?" I raised a brow. Pain was something I could handle quite well, but at least I wanted to be prepared.

It seemed as if the Master took my hesitation the wrong way, though. He laughed out, a cruel mockery swinging within his voice. His hand slammed against the door frame next to my head as he bent down to my eye level.

"Do I care? Do you think I'll leave you a choice?"

I opened my mouth to respond, to tell him, I was okay with it, but something about him stopped me from speaking. A mild hypnotism maybe? Was he even aware of it? Dammit! Why couldn't he just ask and let me answer normally? I shook my head, glaring at him.

"All I want is for those bloody drums to be quiet," he now growled, stroked a hand over my cheek. "But if I break you, I'll lose this chance." His hands glided down my sites, making me squirm and wonder if he even knew what he was doing with me. And again he took my reaction the wrong way, his look getting darker. "No, I won't ask. I am the Master, don't you ever forget that. I just take whatever I want. You can shield your silly little mind as much as you like, I can just break through it."

What an idiot! I wanted to shout it out at him, but couldn't and settled for just giving him a scowl. Barriers my as! If he wanted in my head, I wouldn't stop him. If the drums would vanish from his mind, maybe it would allow him to finally calm down, to be free of his involuntary madness.

His fingers slipped under my hoodie and shirt once more, still warm, still strangely gentle as they wrapped around my sites. I closed my eyes, determined not to resist, although I had no clue how mental barriers even worked. Intend must be enough and so I breathed out, imagining how the walls around me just dissolved into scraps that floated away. The same moment I felt the Master, his presence, his determination. But it was like wanting to breach a door, only for it to open at the last moment. Instead of crashing against the resistance he had awaited, there was just nothing.

And he fell.

The stream of energy from his mind tumbled into mine, spread like warm smoke, pooled right into my chest. I gasped, had trouble breathing for a second. The Master tried to stop, surprise, panic, confusion, rage, it was all there, reverberated through me as his fingers dug deeper into my sites. Something in my mind seemed to pick it up, reflecting, no, intermingling with it. Threads that wrapped around each other, a splash of blood vanishing in a vast ocean.

His forehead dropped against mine and he drew me closer, still trying to get free in the same process. I was frozen, overwhelmed by all those weird sensations. It was warm, swirling in my head, my chest, pulsating in the tips of my fingers. Did I even want to stop this? My pulse was racing madly, everything around us disappeared, got swallowed by what I felt. And I wanted more of it.

There was a small groan, from me, from him? It was hard to tell what belonged to whom. I sensed how much he was. All the years and centuries of his life, all the good and the bad, all the losses, the love, the hate, the cold loneliness. It was his and it wasn't. It was mine and it wasn't either. There was resistance, struggling, all in vain, only leading to our minds entangling even more, like fish trapped in a net.

And it just wasn't enough. I (we) sensed the potential, felt a tingling of how much more this could be, how much deeper we could both reach inside another. When had my hands clawed into his shirt? When did my eyes close? Was that amusement? Was it fear? Uncertainty, still struggling, still fighting. Still craving for so much more. I felt his breath against my lips, saw his eyes, that couldn't see mine any longer and could nonetheless.

More. We could be so much more. And there was so much curiosity. Mine? His? Ours? Fingers on my skin, eyes boring into each other, lips ghosting over mine. A question, a demand. A possibility. No struggle was left, no vain attempt to entangle. Careful, oh so careful did he move, did I. Lips touching lips, igniting something new, sparking a flame that ran through my whole body that was pressed against his, held tight, mouths moving, eyes closed. And he was so ancient, and I learned that time had a taste. Our minds tumbled deeper, pooled into an endless ocean that was both and neither of us together, that was beyond ourselves. I got lost, so did he, I knew it, because he knew, I felt it, because he did. My hands dragged him closer, his held me tighter. And finally we stopped tumbling, stopped the rush and managed to stay somewhere.

Somewhere so deep there was no name for it. A place in our intermingled minds that was more true than reality could ever be.

And there I heard it... Cold and foreign and old and... wrong.

Du... du... du... du

Du... du... du... du

Du... du... du... du

The sound, once noticed, spread, reached into my mind, but couldn't settle, retreated. It felt unnerving, threatening, like what I had heard on the brink of death. Not a heartbeat, but an artificial tone, a fixed set of four beats, ever repeating, always the same. Fading, slipping before I could grasp its origin.

And slowly we stopped being one and became two separate things once again. Carefully the Master untangled our essences. Not as fast as would have been possible, both clinging to the longing for a connection, or maybe just enjoying the chase of tongues and the soft movements that lost their urgency and tapered off as we resurfaced.

For what felt like minutes, we kept standing there, eyes closed, waiting for our breaths to calm, for the beatings of hearts to go back to somewhat normal. I felt fingers letting go of my sites and opened my lids to blink at the Master above me, who seemed as confused and overwhelmed as I felt. Neither of us had awaited such a snowball effect.

But he caught himself much faster than I could, a crooked grin spreading on his face, while he quietly laughed to himself, before his twinkling eyes came to rest on me again.

"Whoops."

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Chapter 53: Chapter 52

Author's Notes: Confusion time! xP I mean... who wouldn't be after that.
Also, it's spring from today on! *jumps around*
I need to decorate my flat a little. Get out all the whites and greys and get in some green and other colours! UwU
Let's hope the new season brings some relief to all of us.

"Whoops," the Master let out, childishly smirking. "That got a bit out of hand there."

I blinked stupidly at him, how he still had one hand next to my head, propped against the door frame, his head only as far away as necessary. I found myself completely at a loss for words. Because of so many reasons there was no way to pick one, no way to shove one of them in his face.

"A bit..." I repeated toneless, trying to get my head to comply again. I felt numb, tired and at the same time totally binged up, when I brought myself to actually look him in the eyes. "What the heck was that?"

There was a mockingly raised brow, a smug smirk. "I think people call that a kiss."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Stop messing with me," I whined. "That was just part of this whole snowball effect, wasn't it?"

Was it?

"Partially." The Master shrugged and mumbled, "It does need a certain attr- anyway." He straightened. "You just said it yourself. Snowball effect." Grinning, he tapped against my head. "Hard to stop, once it gets rolling."

I slapped his hand away, although I wasn't pissed or anything. Just tired and confused and maybe a little overdosed with some of those bloody hormones a human body tends to produce in such a situation. And he absolutely was not allowed to wear such a charming smile, I decided at that moment.

He snickered at my probably dumb expression and poked out his tongue as he leaned closer down to my eye level. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, little one. But if you wanna know-"

"Just shut up, will you?" I grunted and this time it was me who grabbed his collar, if only to bump my forehead against his. "Give my brain a moment to catch up." And my body some more moments to cool down. Gosh dammit!

I was met with wide, surprised eyes, then a small grin. "For a second I thought you wanted to snog me again."

"That's so not going to happen." I huffed. "and you were the one starting it."

The Master's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Was I?"

Well, okay, I had no clue who started that part. Everything had just... happened. But had it been because of the sudden connection, or because there was something... else? Attraction? Maybe. He certainly was handsome, but that wasn't enough. And no matter how honest I tried to be with myself I could not find anything beyond this. Maybe there wasn't even a proper name for whatever bound us together. And maybe I was still way too confused and overwhelmed to want to think about it.

Right now it simply felt good to be so close and just breathe. The Master didn't try to get in my mind and also didn't move away. It felt as if I (we?) needed this little bit of contact to process everything, to get all of it back in order and to remember that there had been something important. Oh so very important.

"Are you hurting?" the Master asked softly, for once without mischief or mockery in his voice.

I let out a long breath and slightly shook my head. "No... yes. I don't know. Not physically. Ugh... that's all your bloody fault. You just need to storm in everywhere, don't you?"

He chuckled quietly and took my head in both hands. "Wasn't expecting to be let in like that. Usually people can't stand having me in their mind."

"Can't imagine why," I replied, oozing sarcasm, but then got half serious. "Just ask next time. And don't dare to start with your pride again."

The Master gave me a scowl, his eyes darkly boring into mine. "As if you would let me. I felt how much it scares you."

Another drawn out breath (sigh?) pressed itself out of my lungs. I realized that I was still clutching the lapels of his shirt and let my hands sink. Only a little, not really knowing where to place them and not wanting to let them uselessly dangle by my sites. So, somehow they just landed on his chest, where I subtly felt his weird heartbeat.

Scared? Maybe I was. Humans are always scared of what they don't understand.

I huffed and smiled with closed eyes. "Guess I'm overall more curious than afraid."

Maybe not clinging to life so madly had its advantages, after all. A thought I kept to myself, one he might not ever truly understand, despite his age. Those hearts beat so strong, nothing in the universe could ever stop them. The Master simply would not allow it.

Only seconds had passed, although they felt like a small eternity. He hadn't moved, forehead still propped against mine, my hands still resting on his chest, the double pulse beneath. That noise that was so calm and soothing and yet could be so…

My eyes snapped open. "The drums."

His brows knitted together. "Still annoying." The hands around my head gripped tighter, but only a little, just enough to remind me that they were there. "Don't move. I'm not going to-"

"I heard them," I interrupted and felt him wince, eyes widening.

The Master swallowed, closed his eyes and breathed out. "My heartbeat," he muttered. "Nothing more. "

But I shook my head. "No. That wasn't you. This-" My hands curled over his hearts- "feels warm and alive. But what I heard there… It was cold and frightened me. Like a machine, or a code."

The Master let go of me and stumbled backwards, his face a mixture of horror, disbelief, fear and hope, all at the same time. His mouth opened, quivered a little, his eyes darted left and right as if to search for something that might make sense." No… no no no, that's not possible. It's not. It just isn't." He shook his head, clawed his hands into his hair and dropped against the door frame behind him. "Can't be. Can't be. Not after all this time. Not after…" He looked back up, lowered his hands and glared at me, desperately seeking an answer. "I tried so much. I've been to so many places. None… nothing. Not even the Doctor found them."

"He… never listened for himself, right? Maybe it's not something you can find with machines."

The Master's eyes landed on me and he waved me over. I obeyed, unsure what he wanted, but when I was in reach he only took my head in his hands again, thumbs stroking over my temples.

"I have to look," he whispered. "I just have to. I'm sorry."

His words and tone confused me. Why did he seem so uncertain? And even more important… Why did he apologize? Of all people he was the last one I would have ever awaited to hear those… I winced.

Something moved in my head. It was the Master, but it was different, wrong. I groaned as a sharp pain went through my mind, when it felt as if a glowing stick of metal got stabbed through my head. I clawed at his arms, but the grip was relentless. A sob shook me, another groan. I clenched my teeth to endure it and…

Then it was over.

The Master slipped out of my mind, eyes wide. He was shaking. The pain vanished, although not completely, left me with a subtle headache.

"What did you do?" I asked, still more surprised than angry.

It seemed as if he barely was aware of my words and it took him several tries before he brought out a word. Even then, they were barely audible.

"After effect. Our little snowball went too far, left you wounded. Any more contact after that is bound to be hurting." His head snapped up, a desperate madness gleaming in his eyes. "I had to know," he breathed.

So much for asking. But he seemed in no shape for a lecture, more as if his sanity was about to completely snap. And it must have hurt him, too.

The shocked look vanished and instead he quietly laughed to himself, muttered something I couldn't make out. The Master stumbled back, hit the door frame and sunk down there, hands clawing in his hair, his head lowered deep.

For several moments I just stood there, unable to react, not knowing what to do, or if there even was anything I could do. Was that still a laugh? It sounded more like crying.

"Hey," I carefully said and squatted down in front of him. "Everything alright?" And a little quieter I asked, "did… I hear them?"

At first there was no reaction, but then, slowly, the Master lifted his head. His eyes shimmered wet, but no tears were falling. And still, in a way, he seemed broken, lost. As if his whole reality had just crumbled to a pile of dust.

"So many, many years, little light," he muttered. "And you're the first." He swallowed, blinked. "Maybe I'm not so insane, after all. Can that really be?"

There was some dumb joke already on my lips, but I decided to save that for later. Instead I smiled reassuringly (at least I hoped I did.)

"Oh, you two look as if you're plotting something," came the Doctor's voice all of a sudden. "Nothing bad I hope. How are the samples going?"

"Samples?" I asked dumbly, having completely forgotten about them.

"From the stardust, moron," the Master grumbled and shoved me back outside the doors without a warning.

Surprised I wriggled my arms until I remembered that I was just floating out there. Always those mood swings! As I floated back to the doors I watched the Time Lords.

"Why so grumpy, Master?" the Doctor asked with his usual bubbliness. "Having a headache?"

"You know exactly what plagues my head, Doctor." The last word was spat out hatefully. He got to his feet and approached the other one.

"Uhm, right." The Doctor faltered for a visible moment, then caught himself. "I've found some new devices on a few planets, recently, and the black market of-"

"SHUT UP!"

The Doctor did, dumbfounded and wide eyed. He yelped a little when the Master suddenly grabbed his lapels to draw him down to his eyelevel.

"Centuries," he growled. "I could have spent centuries knowing! But you would not listen!"

"Master-" the other Time Lord tried to free himself from the grip. -"there is nothing to lis-"

"Coward."

"Wha-haaat?"

"You heard me right." The Master's voice suddenly was calm, too calm.

There was so much hate brooding underneath, so much pain. I could feel it even from meters away. And I understood. Had the Doctor believed him, had he listened just once…

The Master let go of his counterpart and stepped next to him, almost whispering, "You've always been nothing but a coward… Theta."

With that he bumped the other one with his shoulder and rushed inside the TARDIS, leaving the two of us back, dumbfounded and - in my case - a little clueless. What had the Master just called him? Was that his actual name?

Even If, it wasn't any of my business. The Doctor had chosen who he wanted to be and I wasn't planning to disrespect that. In the end I knew all too well how it felt to hate the name your parents forced upon you. Many years ago I had discarded it and taken on a new one. A new me, since everything from before was gone anyway.

The Doctor coughed and rubbed his neck, a small apologetic smile on his freckled face.

"He'll come down again. You've got some samples? It was fun outside, wasn't it?" His voice sounded more thoughtful, however. "Just… hovering there. Just being. No gravity, no up or down. No right or wrong."

"Yeah, it was fun." I nudged him and scrambled out the small vials from my pockets. "There. I just took something from everything I came across."

"And this one?" The Doctor held up a vial that was filled with all different colours.

"Oh. Just a souvenir. The dust is so pretty and since you said it's not… it isn't dangerous, is it?" I raised a quizzical eyebrow. Somehow I could never be quite certain.

"Uhm… weeeell… shouldn't." Keep it. As long as it's in the vial, it's safe either way. "

So I snatched my souvenir back and stuffed it into my shoulder bag, right next to the small dragon egg. I almost was tempted to wish the Doctor a good night, but then I remembered that not even half a day had passed yet. Why then did I feel so utterly exhausted? Was it the playing around outside? Or was it another after effect of what had just happened with the Master?

I hadn't felt extraordinarily rested since a few days already. But the new environment and all the small non-adventures, as the Doctor loved to call it, sure took a small toll on me. I wasn't used to so much action, even though I would never want to stop it.

"Any plans for the rest of the day?" the Doctor asked. "I'm going to have a good look at the dust, so…"

"Not really. Maybe the library. I like it there."

Before I had reached the door, the Doctor called me back once more. "Lucy, it might be tempting to explore the TARDIS, but be careful and listen to her and your instinct."

I flushed a little and kneaded my hands. "I… didn't want to snoop around."

But the Doctor only laughed. "It's okay. There are so many hidden places in here. Even I don't know them all. And usually there should be no danger. But you're human… and there are more dangers than only the physical kind."

"Okay. Got it. I'll be careful."

"Great!" He beamed at me as I turned and then started to type things into his console I wouldn't even remotely understand.

It was indeed tempting to stroll through the corridors, even though I barely dared to peek into the rooms. The sheer amount of possibility overwhelmed me somehow, made me almost anxious. A feeling that also didn't vanish with the Doctor's allowance.

And besides, I was completely knackered and not in the mood for any kind of adventure.

The thought made me huff. Over the past days the Doctor had briefly mentioned companions he had had before and all of them seemed always so thrilled to run into danger, to save the world and the universe. An urge that was completely lacking in me. Earth and its inhabitants had left me broken and abandoned. There was no way I would risk my own well-being for them.

Not all of them at least. Somewhere in the back of my mind I still wanted to make the lives of my dad and my little sister better.

I halted in my tracks and glared numbly at the wall before me. The thought of my dad sent a sting through me. In all of my life he had been the only person to accept and love me for who I was. Sure, he had also been passive and had never stepped in when she…

I shook my head and sighed. So often had I thought about possibilities, about ways to help. But if people are too weak to help themselves… then what was left?

One thing, however, was clear. The Doctor wouldn't help me with that. So maybe, in the end, I would have to get the Master to do so. But freeing him would mean betraying the Doctor… And during the last days I had grown fond of him, had seen that he was a good person, or at least tried to be. He tried so hard that he ignored how much it overwhelmed him, how it made him bitter and mean sometimes. But still… I couldn't simply betray him.

With an exasperated sigh I dropped my forehead against the wall. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why were the lives and well-beings of people so intertwined?

And where was my place in all of this?

Back to index

Chapter 54: Chapter 53

The rest of the day passed in a daze. I felt tired and restless at the same time, exhausted, but still driven. And my bloody head wouldn't stop bugging me with this barely hurting headache, that was subtle, but annoying. It actually made me wonder if there might be a tear in my mental barriers again. There had been one when the Master had tried to force his drums on me, back in the space base under the black hole. However, I had the feeling that this was a different situation. There had been no force involved, only a tumbling and falling and...

I lowered the book I was reading in the library and groaned towards the ceiling. There was no way my stupid brain would allow me to concentrate on the contents of the pages. I knew the kiss had been part of the snowball effect, remembered what I had learned about nerve endings and all that. Deepening the connection to a level that would otherwise be impossible.

But...

Wasn't that what a kiss was about anyway?

Maybe on another level, maybe the meaning was a different one. I did my best to convince myself that it was, because there was one thing I was certain about. I had definitely not stupidly fallen in love all of a sudden.

Because I knew how that felt. I knew it far too well, remembered those sweet moments, when the world seemed perfect, when my heart was fluttering away and nothing was able to hit a dent in my mood. It was a warm feeling and not… Not this. On top of that I felt silly for even considering it.

We weren't even friends. Not really. He kept hurting me in various ways, he was an insane, dangerous mass murderer and also an alien. Well... and the only reason I was still alive, was because he would need me for something unknown, somewhere in his future. And I was damn tired, exhausted and literally not in my right mind, anyway.

Sleep only helped so far with the tiredness and I decided to take a break from everything, told the Doctor I would not go out with him for a while and just do my best to keep myself away from every source of sensory stimulation.

Ever since I had set foot inside the TARDIS I hadn't had a truly quiet day. And I desperately, physically and psychologically needed such times. With a bitter huff I remembered that this was one of the reasons no relationship, so far, had lasted. People just don't understand it and assume I didn't like them anymore or even cheated on them, when I told them I didn't want to see anyone for a few days.

Therefore I was thankful and glad that the Doctor knew about the struggles of my autism, he had no problem with that, even recommended a few meditation techniques that might help to calm my overloaded brain. Not that I ever had an easy time meditating. It's so difficult to sit around and do nothing, not to focus on one of the millions of thoughts that run through my head at every time.

Thoughts, that mostly were too hazy to grasp anyway. Snippets of words, of ideas, images, sounds, that just twirled around aimlessly. And while I could live and ignore it, most of the time - sometimes it was even helpful to be able to think three things at once - now it was only adding to my overloaded state.

At first I stayed a little in the console room and watched the Doctor tinkering about. It was fun to watch and he was always happy to ramble about technical details I didn't understand, but found fascinating anyway.

"You're doing an awful lot of maintenance," I commented thoughtfully. "Aren't there some.. I don't know... TARDIS repair stations? I bet your people have lots of those."

"There used to be!" the Doctor answered with a beaming face. "Really handy and useful." Then his features darkened, got overshadowed by something sad. "They are all... Of course they are still there... they were. I could travel back and use them. But... they would know. Time and occurrences are like inscribed in a TARDIS' matrix. It would cause a major... well..." His eyes dropped to the floor. "Doesn't matter anymore."

"Did something happen?" I dared to ask. There seemed to be a sadness lingering around him whenever anyone mentioned his people.

The Doctor looked up from the opened control panel, a bitter smile playing around his lips. "Things always happen. Yesterday, now, tomorrow." Suddenly he grinned. "How about we make a nice dinner happening, later? There is this amazing take away restaurant on Erathin. No, no, you don't have to come along. I'll get us some."

Distraction. Well, why not. I agreed and didn't brush the subject again.

For almost a day I hid in the library, skimming through all the shelves and their contents until I almost fell into… a swimming pool. Well, okay, I hadn't awaited that to be here, of all places. It was weird and funny and one day I surely would hop in there.

The next day the TARDIS led me to a room that made me almost squeal. It had all the gaming consoles I had ever heard of in it and also lots of which I had never seen. It probably was almost a week before the time ship decided to hide the room. She only gave me a hum that felt like a giggle and a scolding at once, when I begged her to return the damn door.

She alleviated my sulking by guiding me to something that could be a café. It had a counter and small round tables and chairs and displays and everything you would await in a café. Everything but staff. Only a cat was in here, making me wonder if it was real or only a projection. A living animal inside the TARDIS? How did it survive?

A question I would not get an answer to, but the cat jumped on my lap as soon as I had poured myself a cup of coffee and had sat down at one of the tables. It cuddled itself against me and purred happily when I started to stroke the soft, orange fur. I sat there, even long after my cup was emptied, not wanting to disturb the animal. And that although I could really need some more coffee. These days, no amount of it seemed to be able to get me properly awake.

Thoughtfully my hand stroked through the fluffy fur while I pondered about my state. It had started before the mind incident, and it hadn't become significantly worse after it. Gradually, yes, but not in a way that pointed at the mind sharing having anything to do with it. The reason probably was... just everything.

Within some weeks I had died, had met the devil, had fought a dragon. All of this was bound to wear me down. But why then didn't I recover now, where I took a break and did nothing special all day? Quite the opposite seemed to be the case.

Not only that. In moments of true silence, when I drifted away or closed my eyes for long enough, I could still make them out.

The drums.

I had noticed it only some days after and I wasn't even really hearing them, but more… sensing? Feeling? A memory of a memory.

I went on with exploring for some more days, because it was fun, because it kept my mind busy and my body moving. Each morning and evening I took out the dragon egg and wrote down it's state, took a picture of the glowing pattern with a small camera I had found. But nothing changed.

And gradually I ran out of options to keep my mind from wandering to places it shouldn't wander. Mostly because I wouldn't get any answers. The only one who could provide them was the Master and he...

He was gone.

Not literally. Had he left the TARDIS the Doctor would probably have started panicking immediately. But he didn't show himself for even a second and each time I asked the TARDIS to bring me to him she plainly refused.

Honestly, I had no idea what to even say to him or do, but his absence drove me crazy. Which it shouldn't, considering that he was a jerk and always did his best to be mean to me in any way possible, let alone that he did nothing to hide how less he could stand having me around. This might only be because of my race and there had been enough moments where it seemed as if he did not regret keeping me close. But still... To him I was more of a nuisance, a toy to play with and toss away afterwards.

That - after carefully recalling everything we had been through, so far - was the logical conclusion when analyzing his behaviour. If only it weren't for this nagging feeling in my chest that told me that there was more. Something he did not speak of, something he made a great effort of never showing, things that were hidden and that he desperately wanted to stay that way. Things like pain and exhaustion and maybe even plain loneliness.

And now he had learned that someone beside him could hear his drums.

I remembered his reaction, the look of shock in his wet shimmering eyes. After centuries of suffering he still refused to let a single tear fall, swallowed down every bit of weakness he could hold back, even while visibly breaking under that burden.

My heart ached when I remembered it. No one should ever feel such a pain and then be left on their own. There was no way to cope with that.

Or maybe he avoided me because he feared I would interpret too much into that kiss. This stupid, stupid kiss that should not have happened, but had. It wasn't even important who had started it, because the other person, clearly, had responded. And yes, I knew about the effects of psychic connections, but this only made it worse. Because I had tasted something that was unreachable for a mere human, deeper and richer and so much more powerful than anything my species would ever experience.

I groaned, annoyed about my own thoughts and glared at the egg in my hands, like I did so often. Laying on my bed, on my stomach, hands stretched out, enveloping the smooth, dark scales, my eyes mesmerized by the faint glow. It also wouldn't give me an answer, wouldn't budge or change or do anything at all. Slowly my lids crept close, too heavy, a curtain to relief me of my waking thoughts.

And in the fog of my dreams - no, in the gap between them, the thin slips of realities bending and twisting around one another - I could again make out the soft repeated drumming of four beats. It was in my head, but not inside myself.

When I awoke some hours later, my body felt stiff and heavy, as did my head, clouded by an even greater tiredness than before. There weren't even thoughts and vaguely I recognized this as something good, before I drifted away once again and for who knows how long. Here and there I awoke and slipped back into the darkness, sometimes with the sense of having heard the drumming again. The process repeated until my head felt as if it would simply burst.

Was I ill? Aside from the tiredness and the headache I felt nothing bad. Sitting up actually helped with the pain. It probably was only there to knock me out of the sheets and force me to move a little. Eat something, get hydrated. A shower maybe. Every movement took so much strength, it was as if I could simply fall asleep again on the spot. How I managed to get dressed, cleaned and remembered to pack the egg was a mystery.

But at the end I found myself back in the TARDIS corridors, sauntering through the now familiar hexagonal shapes until I had reached the kitchen. Two coffees helped a little, just enough to feel less knackered. The thought of food, however, made my stomach churn and so I kept away from it.

"I bet that's because of the psychic stuff," I grumbled into the air, when I was in the corridors again. "Can't you bring me to him? I need to kick his butt."

There was hum in the air, but instead of slightly amused it now sounded concerned, alarmed even. I stopped in my tracks, confused. The concern hadn't been directed towards me. And it was urgent, almost panicky.

I still had no idea how exactly this ship communicated, only that I was able to make out a lot more than only tonality from its hums and electric tugs. Right now it more felt as if an invisible entity was trying to grab my hand to urge me in a certain direction. I let the sensation lead me, allowed it to guide me for what felt like an hour. Tiredness fought with curiosity, kept me energized enough to keep a good pace.

It tugged me again, then suddenly panged in my head as if it was screaming stop! Stop, stop, not here, don't go further. Turn around! Run away! Confused I almost stumbled. I hadn't heard actual words, only felt them, sensed them within my very self, but couldn't understand why the TARDIS would bring me here if it actually wanted me to run.

Shaking my head I rounded another corner.

And found the Master.

Back to index

Chapter 55: Chapter 54

Author's Notes: Happy Easter time, folks! :3

The Master stood in the corridor with his back leaned against a wall and closed eyes. Almost as if he were waiting or sleeping even. There was nothing particularly strange about him, he looked clean and was dressed neatly in dark blue jeans and a black dress shirt. His hair was tidy, his goatee shaven.

And still I froze in place at his sight and contemplated running as fast as my tired feet might take me.

The TARDIS was silent, did no longer tug or urge me, but her panicky reaction still sat heavy in my chest. Had she not realized where she had been leading me? Had she wanted to show me something else and had stumbled over the Master as much as I? And if that was the case, then how had he managed to hide himself that well?

Whatever the answer might be, something was off and I pressed a hand over my wildly beating heart. One way or another… I had to confront him about… well, everything. But first I simply wanted to know how he was, so I took some slow steps towards him.

My suspicion got confirmed the moment his eyes snapped open to fixate on me, following my every movement like a predator. Not a single muscle twitched in his face.

"Hh...ey." With the attempt of a smile I shortly raised my hand in a greeting. "How are you?"

The Master blinked, his pupils were dilated slightly, swallowing most of the warm hazel. His predatory look melted into a wide grin. "Look at that," he spoke up, his voice sounding strangely distorted, a little too high and somewhat strained. "A light in the dark."

Perplex I glared at him and my confusion grew even more when he stepped forward, grabbed my shoulders and dropped his forehead against mine, the smile still on his face. I froze, sensing something I had no words for, but knew it wasn't good.

"You did well, lil' lumin. So, so well." He chuckled and retreated slightly, still holding my shoulders. "Because, you see, now it all makes sense! It's there and that means I will find it!"

"Huh? What the…?" I let out confused. His words made no sense to my exhausted mind.

The Master let go of me and laughed in a deranged tone, grabbed his head and shook it. His eyes snapped to me again, the irises… vibrating slightly.

"What have you done?" I asked confused. "Are you high or something?"

His laugh stopped, hands falling to his sides, and instead he seemed to sulk for a moment, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. "I'm searching for them," he finally told. "The drums. Just have to dig deep enough. Scrape the right places."

"How?" Suspiciously I squinted at him, having the feeling he was doing something really stupid. Something like… trying to alter his state of mind to look for them in places he usually couldn't access.

My answer was a giggle and a sway. The Master dropped against the wall again, glaring wide eyed at the ceiling as if it were particularly interesting. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. Then, suddenly, he shot forward, swiped me off my feet. I had no idea what exactly happened, but a moment later it was me with the back against the wall and his hands around my throat, a manic grin in front of my face.

"Oh, you really did so well, Lucy," he sneered. "But you forgot. Little stupid human did forget." His grip got tighter, prevented me from speaking, made my limbs numb and useless. My lungs burned, covering the throbbing where my head had hit the wall. "I got what I wanted. This is why I saved you. It makes sense, doesn't it? I know now that you will hear them. That's all I need."

He laughed, loosened his fingers and allowed me to breathe again. Somewhere in my daze I came to the conclusion that the TARDIS must have sensed his deranged state. Therefore the warning. And before I could fully recover, he was back again, one hand on the wall next to my head, the other stroking along my cheek,but the almost tender touch wasn't there to soothe me, let a shiver run down my spine.

There was an almost apologetic look on his face. Almost. "Now I can take back my life force. You don't need it anymore, after all, don't you agree?"

I blinked, too shocked and dazed to really answer. He was playing with me again, wasn't he? But right as I thought it, his hands wrapped around my head and I felt a tug from deep within my chest, like the cold shot of adrenalin, like taking a deep breath in the cold of winter. It wasn't pain, but something far, far deeper. A force that gnawed on my essence, that started to pull something from me, tried to rip it out of a socket. I gasped and tried to struggle, without finding the strength to actually do so.

Again. Again I looked into the darkness, as I had so often now. And again, with a weird clarity I shouldn't even have in that moment, I felt no fear; there was only sadness and resignation, the strange sensation of floating in deep water. Somehow I managed to raise a hand and place it on the chest in front of me. He would be on his own again, stuck and raging and hurting so, so much.

I heard a sob.

And realized the tugging on my essence had stopped.

Confused, I glanced from my hand upwards and found pinched eyes and clenched teeth. His breath was ragged, strained by the roaring in his head.

"It hurts," he ground out. "They hurt so much, little one."

In the end it had been this very sound that had saved my life. There still was a weirdly cold feeling inside my chest, but it faded slowly.

The Master was shaking, sweat pearled from his forehead and when his eyes opened, they were slightly twitching, as if he had no control over their movements anymore.

"What drugs did you take?" I asked quietly and took some deep breaths. Maybe I wouldn't have a clue what any of the stuff meant, but getting him to talk might be better than having him do stupid things again. "Tell me… Please."

Even through his pain he managed to take on a sarcastic grin. He dropped forwards, leaned with both hands against the wall and trapped me in place.

"Oh, what didn't I take?" He chuckled lightly. "Everything I could find. Everything that works with my stupid biology."

Okay, that sounded entirely not good. No wonder he was completely mental. I pushed both hands against him. This was going nowhere.

"Med bay, now," I ordered, trying to sound as if it were obvious he would listen.

The Master looked down at me, making the impression that he didn't even have the strength to go anywhere. The shaking got worse and when he pushed himself away from me, he only collapsed to his knees, suddenly giggling to himself as if it were the funniest thing.

I needed to get the Doctor. But I also couldn't leave the Master on his own here, even when he deserved it a thousand times and more.

"TARDIS?" I spoke into the air, hoping the ship would hear me. "I know he scares you, but I need the Med bay door here. And the Doctor."

The Master let out another giggle. "She won't help. Hates me."

"Tough!" I snapped and ran a hand down my face. "Is any of the stuff in your system dangerous?"

He looked up and blinked, pupils now swallowing all color. "Might." He licked his lips. "But I need them to stop."

"Why, isn't that great," I grumbled, bending down slightly. "Can you stand?"

"Tzz, f'cause I can."

Well, at least he tried. Somehow the Master actually got back to his feet, but then almost dropped again. I grabbed him, more on instinct than anything else and tried to steady him, what wasn't easy with my current state and a general lack of physical strength. And now that I touched him, I realized how badly he was shaking, how cold he felt.

To my relief a path of golden light appeared on the ground. The TARDIS might hate him or not, but she must sense that I had no intention to give up so easily.

We walked for some minutes and again I wondered why the TARDIS could move some of the doors seemingly everywhere, but had to lead me through corridors to get me to others. And the longer we walked the slower the Master got, now constantly mumbling things I could barely make out. Some of it didn't sound not too good, apparently describing various effects of his drugs and how different types reacted when taken together.

"Rare side effect," he mumbled. "Tolperzen together with Alasepra. Makes your heart stop. Can. Might. Have two, doesn't matter."

And then he murmured some words that sounded just strange and made no sense. They sounded old and elegant and for a second I wondered why the TARDIS wouldn't translate it. Was it his own language?

Finally the trail of light stopped in front of a familiar door and I managed to push it open with one hand, then somehow steered the now silent Time Lord inside and to the bed. With some of my help I managed to at least have him sit on it.

His eyes were completely unfocused, sometimes twitching and never staying in one place for long. I felt for his pulse and found it at an alarming speed. Not that I knew much about Time Lord biology, but I had heard his heartbeat often enough to know that they pounded way too fast, right now. Aside from that it sounded as if he had trouble getting air, his breaths coming in rattled sucks.

And finally he collapsed. Just dropped backwards on the bed, where he kept shaking and sweating.

I let out a curse. "Master! Don't you dare not bring alright!" I warned, then hurled around to get the Doctor.

The same moment, however, the door sprang open and the very man stormed in, his look worried and also confused, the puzzlement only growing when he saw me and the Master in his current state.

"The cloister bells rung," he said through his teeth. "And the med bay was glowing red on the monitor, so I came as fast as… what's wrong with him?"

The Doctor produced his Sonic Screwdriver from a pocket and let it whirr over the Master, then he held it to his ear for a few moments.

"Oh, no no no no, Master, what have you done?"

"He drugged himself," I tried to explain, feeling incredibly helpless.

"Yes, I see that," the Doctor snapped. "Why haven't you stopped him?"

"Wh… hey! I already found him like that! And believe me, it wasn't easy to get him here."

His mouth snapped open, but then shut again. With a deep breath he ran a hand over his face, then got out his specs and slid them up his nose.

"Sorry," the Doctor mumbled while he collected a bunch of small devices. "'m just worried. This is not good, Lucy. Not at all. If my readings are correct, and they are, then…"

He took some more scans, a blood sample, tested the pulse and held one of the Master's eyelids open to shine a small light into it. With every action his expression got more worried.

"Is he in danger?" I finally dared to ask.

"Might… yeah." The Doctor let some drops of blood fall into a green liquid and watched as it took on a neon blue color. That made him curse.

"H… how bad?" I barely brought out the words, sensed the answer already.

The Doctor swallowed, ran his tongue over his lips and gave me desperate glare. "He shouldn't have mixed those. And I can't even tell what else there is in his system. Need to take more samples. And quick."

A lump formed in my throat as I realized he was avoiding a direct answer.

"Doctor," I inquired with a shaky voice.

"Yeah? Uhm… what?" He didn't even look at me.

"How bad."

Slowly he lowered the small flask he had been shaking, his dark brown eyes meeting mine to reveal a fear in them I had never seen before.

"Bad side effects. Could… might… most likely will prevent regeneration. If necessary. That's bad. That's absolutely…" He paused, swallowed down his rambling and looked back at the flask. "Can't give him anything. Too risky. But if I wait for too long…"

"Doctor, please," I now begged, grabbed his arm and then almost whispered, "Tell me he won't… die."

Silence fell over the room. Gently he moved his arm away and squeeze my hand. The Doctor looked up and could barely hide the tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Fuck!" I let out. "No! That's… Like, what? That can't be! It's not possible!"

Again he squeezed my hand, his eyes lit up and he almost jumped.

"Phashgerot Alpha!" he called out. "The spores of hyralia shrooms. Heavy detox. Doesn't matter what he swallowed. But we have to be fast. Don’t know how fast, but it's all we've got, understand?"

"Not at all," I confessed and tugged at his hand. "But don't just stand there. Let's go!"

Back to index

Chapter 56: Chapter 55

Had my heart ever been racing that fast? Had a fear like this ever gripped my whole consciousness? When the Doctor moved the TARDIS, he seemed to do it in slow motion, the landing sounds dragged on for far longer than they should.

He had put the med bay in a temporary temporal stasis. That was what he had called it. All I understood was that it bought us time. How much, however, was a question that vanished in an uncomfortable silence.

"Alright, listen," the Doctor spoke up as I was already about to storm out the doors. "The mushroom looks like a collection of blue and purple cubes that are stacked into each other. Pretty to look at, don't want to breath in the spores, though. Plug them, return. No detours."

I simply nodded and grabbed one of the cloth bags he held out to me, too numb and still too exhausted to give much of an answer. My own state wasn't important right now. One way or another I had to stay focused and awake for a while longer.

Outside, we were greeted by a forest in mid fall. Leaves were sailing down to a colourful covered ground, bare branches stuck out from the ones that still wore their dying dress. Some animals hopped away that clearly were no rabbits, but had a similar size. And a lake spread across a clearing, in the bluest water I had ever laid eyes on, shimmering almost ethereal in the light of the sinking sun and reflecting thousands of tiny glowing light specs that hovered and flew above the water's surface.

At any other time I would have spent hours wandering this place, taking in the atmosphere, gaping at the lake and the dancing fireflies, wondering if they might be elves. But now…  now I paid almost no attention to them, my eyes glued to the ground to make out what the Doctor had described, while he himself did the same bit farther away.

Lost in dark thoughts and eyes searching, I stumbled and fell. My small shoulder bag got caught on a branch, ripped open and with a cold shock I saw the dragon egg drop to the ground and rolled away some meters. The leaves caught the tumble, luckily, but the thought of how badly this could have ended made me curse nastily. Were I not so tired this wouldn't have happened.

I pinched my eyes and rubbed two fingers over the lids, realizing that the fog in my head actually faded somewhat. Within seconds I felt a lot clearer than I had in days.

Confused I let my hand sink and, for the first time, took in my surroundings properly, the saturated autumn colours, the rich smell of damp leaves and nuts and mushrooms, the orchestra of wind and birds and rustling and the slow noises of the lake.

Peace.

The whole place emitted a calmness that was all engulfing, that made me just stop and take in some deep breaths of cool, but not cold air. Slowly I moved to the egg, saw with wide eyes it had landed right next to a bunch of cubic mushrooms that looked exactly as the Doctor had described them. Those I took first, then I bent down to lastly pick up the egg again.

And instantly the tiredness washed back over me, swallowed my thoughts and slowed my movements. I almost sunk together here and then, the urge to just sleep, overwhelming.

But I didn't give in, dragged myself back the way I had come until I saw the TARDIS again and almost bumped into the Doctor, who looked worried.

"I couldn't find any. Have you…?"

"Mhmm, one," I brought out and almost collapsed into his arms.

The Doctor caught me and gave me a concerned look. "You're like that since days. When we're done with the Master I'll take care of you."

I nodded and followed back inside, slightly dazed, unable to feel… anything at all, honestly. The Doctor entered a room I had never seen before, a kind of laboratory in mostly white and with lots of devices that were completely foreign to me. I handed him the mushroom and watched as he crushed it to mush in one device, then added a few substances and finally put everything through a device that clearly was a kind of distillery.

The process gave me time to think, or at least try to bring my thoughts into something vaguely resembling order. Outside, I had felt clear for a moment. After the egg had rolled away. And as soon as I had picked it back up… My hands clutched the cloth bag in which the small, growing creature still sat. Was it draining me somehow? And if so, why hadn’t I felt it right from the start?

"Alriiiight… That should be it! Come."

Together we rushed back to the med bay, where the Doctor did something with his sonic - probably removing the time freeze - before we entered. And indeed, it seemed as if no time had passed. The Master was still in the same state as before, shaking, sweating, now mumbling some incoherent things I could not understand.

The Doctorbent over the med bed and laid a hand on the Master's forehead, checked his pulse and then sat halfway on the bed, bending over. Carefully he took the other one's head between his palms, thumbs resting on the cheeks. He leaned down, let their foreheads touch and mumbled some words that were too quiet for me to make out. Whatever he had said or done, the Master calmed a little, even opened his eyes.

"It's alright, Master," the Doctor said with a sad smile. "We'll help you."

"We?" He blinked, turned his head and spotted me in the back. His eyes widened slightly, but no other words were spoken.

"I have prepared a detox," told the Doctor and held up a needle. "It's modified so you won't feel much of it. Will knock you out for a bit. And then..." He swallowed. "Let's just hope it gives me enough time to fix you."

There was no answer and no reaction when the needle sank into skin and muscles, but half a minute later, the Master stopped shaking and his breath became more even. I knew he was by far not out of danger, but I still felt a small wave of relief.

"It's honestly a bruteforce method," the Doctor quietly confessed. "Destroys most toxins in one's blood on a molecular level… but, like with antibiotics, it also destroys a lot of the good things."

"It will help him, though, won't it?" Helplessly I glared at the unconscious Time Lord, my chest tight and almost aching. I couldn't leave, even though I knew the Master would sleep for some time. So I dragged over a nearby chair and sat in front of the bed.

"Probably. If the damage that's already done isn't too big. And, luckily, you've been quick to bring him here. We still don't know how long he was under the influence before you even found him, though."

I dropped forward, my elbows on the mattress, my head resting in my hands, fingers digging into my hair. Is this my fault?

The Doctor's steps retreated, but then stopped, paused.

"Lucy?" His voice was quiet, sounded uncertain.

I looked up.

"What did he promise you?" The question was asked softly, no threat, no judgement.

I had no clue what he meant. "Promised?" I asked dumbly.

The Doctor sighed. "You're barely functioning yourself and yet you invest so much concern into a man who… well… I don't see why you would try so hard to keep him alive."

Perplexed and confused my mouth dropped open. Was I too tired to understand or had I understood exactly right? Why did he even ask such a question? Why… I looked back at the Master and swallowed. He had caused a great deal of harm to my own life already. His death would most certainly prevent a lot of chaos and bloodshed from happening in the future. And the Doctor would no longer have to keep an eye on a prisoner like him.

And still…

I huffed. "You're doing the same."

The Doctor's eyes dropped to the floor. "That's different."

"How's that different?" I grumbled.

He sighed and reached for the door knob. "We are bound by a… friendship, let's call it that, that's older than most of your civilisations, Lucy."

"Friendship… Still you gave up on him."

He swallowed. "I tried not to. I really did. He doesn't allow me to help. But he's still my responsibility. I can't let him die."

I looked down and took a deep breath, murmuring, "Then he's my responsibility, too. He hasn't promised me anything, Doctor."

"What… what do you mean?" He released the door and stepped back to me.

I couldn't look at him, only folded my hands in my lap and fiddled with my thumbs. Tears were prickling in the corners of my eyes.

"It's my fault," I choked out. "I made him do this."

"Whoa! Slow down," the other Time Lord exclaimed. "I really don't think you've-"

"Because I heard them."

"Huh?"

"I heard his drums, Doctor." Now I had to look, needed to see the shocked expression on his face.

It was there and it was a lot more frightened than shocked. His mouth hung open and time seemed to freeze, only to resume with his face melting back into a somewhat orderly state.

"That's not possible," he almost whispered. "How could…" His eyes widened and he stepped over to grab my shoulder. "How?"

"He uh… kind of overdid it with the mind sharing, I guess?" A little uncertain, I rubbed my neck and glanced at the Doctor.

His face wore an expression of almost terror, his voice a little shrieky when he asked, "He did what?"

"Uh… telepathy?"

That wasn't the answer he had wanted to hear. Of course it wasn't.

"It… it was sort of an accident. Not like the last time…"

"What?!" the Doctor let out, terrified.

"Last time… it was because of the devil. He got it out of my head. And then a few times…" His disturbed reaction confused me. "Is there something wrong with it?"

With a deep breath he let go of my shoulder and ran a hand over his face. "There is so much wrong with it I don't even know where to start." The Doctor glared upwards, fists stemmed into his sites.

"Why?" I finally wanted to know. "It never hurt or anything."

"But that's not the point!" His eyes darted towards the Master, then back to me. "I highly doubt he asked for any kind of… consent."

Well… not at all, actually. And judging by the Doctor's look, he already guessed that. Sure, just entering someone's very mind without asking was rude, but it still didn't hurt, mostly. If he didn't do something stupid, that is. And to be fair, I liked it. A lot. So…

"You make it sound as if he did something bad to me." It was more of a question than a statement.

The Doctor sighed and stroked through his hair. "It's… complicated. I'm not sure I'm the one who should…" Somehow the whole topic seemed to make him extremely uncomfortable. "Besides… you can project a lot of things. Just because you heard something, doesn't mean it was… well… real."

My mouth dropped open to Form a toneless 'o'. That thought had never occurred to me.

"But he tried it before and I couldn't hear a thing," I meekly protested.

"Adaption, Lucy." Again the Doctor sighed. "A human mind works differently. Just because it didn't work the first-"

"But…"

"No. It's merely an echo of his perception. Don't be fooled."

"But Doctor…"

"And not a real thing. Can't be. I told you already. You can't differentiate. Not even as a Time Lord."

At that I stayed silent, only my thoughts kept running.

But he didn't even try to show me the drums. But why would he go crazy like that when he had simply projected the sound? But… but what if the Doctor is right and the Master did it subconsciously? What if I didn't hear them and now the Master is in danger… because I didn't think, because I only thought about the mess in my own head.

Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes. "Then this all is even more my fault."

I lowered my head to hide the tears. A warm hand landed gently on my shoulder, but I couldn't move.

"You're not responsible for other people's actions, Lucy," spoke the Doctor softly. "I'll save him. Don't you worry."

I nodded and swallowed the tears while the sound of a door closing echoed through the room. This was a mess, all of it and none of the Doctor's words could reassure me much.

My eyes landed on the Master again. It looked as if he was sleeping peacefully, but I knew his body was fighting, knew he might lose the battle, in the end. The thought hurt, even though it shouldn't.

"I wish I could help somehow," I muttered, feeling the familiar tiredness washing over me again.

My eyes closed, my head lowered. It was so hard to stay awake. But it felt as if I had a duty to do so, to take care, to be present. In case he would wake up, in case his state worsened. If only the fog in my head wouldn't be so thick, if only… there it was again. So faint, so far away.

The beating of four. An echo of an echo from somewhere in my head. Not real and still true. I reached a hand out and laid it on the Master's chest, feeling the beat under my fingers. But my fingers couldn't hear and so I plugged my glasses down and put an ear to his chest. Any other time I would have never dared to do that, but in this moment it was like instinct. I needed to listen, wanted to. It was proof. Proof that he was still alive. It was a distraction. Distraction from my own mind.

Du - du - du - du

Du - du - du - du

Steady and regular and soothing, cutting through the tiredness.

Du - du - du - du

Four beats, ever repeating. So different from my own. And yet… no... no, it wasn't a set of four. I strained my ears to listen more closely.

One - two - three - four.

Pause.

One - two - three - four.

But no. It was wrong. It wasn't… I knew that sound. Somewhere deep within me I knew it so well, had heard it so often, had it pounding in my head so many times.

Slowly, beat by beat I heard it. Not a set of four. There were two. Then another two. Then another two, sounding like four, over and over and over.

Du - du … du - du

Du - du … du - du

Four, but actually two. Yes. Like that it was correct. Like that it made sense.

Du - du … du - du

And the steady patter of drops against cold glass.

A heartbeat? Why would it be a heartbeat?

Rat-tat … rat-tat

Rat-tat … rat-tat

And raindrops on my window.

No wonder I was so tired.

Rat-tat … rat-tat

The drive had been long. And it was late into the evening already.

Did the rain get stronger? It probably was what woke me just now.

My eyes blinked open and I let out a yawn as I glanced out of the water smeared window.

Rat-tat … rat-tat

Rat-tat … rat-tat

Metal train wheels on steel tracks, winding through the landscape, bringing me closer and closer to my destiny. Back home… after I had spent a nice weekend with friends. I smiled at the memory, tugging my face mask back into place. Nasty things.

Had I dreamed? It felt like it.

Yawning I got out my phone and checked the clock. I'd be stuck in the train for roughly another hour. Maybe I could nap a little more, slip back to whatever adventure my mind had created.

The images were already fading. Something about a dragon egg, that I could remember. And there had been someone else. A man? I had travelled, like I did now, but… no, I couldn't remember. Weird. And there it felt as if I had forgotten something, something oh so very important.

But that's the thing with dreams, isn't it? I thought to myself as I put my head back against the cool window. They just come and go. Whole stores, entire lives. And when you wake up, only an hour has passed.

I sighed, shifting into a more comfortable position, listening to the clattering rhythm of the wheels and the soft pitter patter of rain, that both fought for dominance in my perception. Somehow I wished I had something to write on with me.

This certainly was a great atmosphere for writing a story.

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Chapter 57: Chapter 56

The metal wheels gave off a shrieking cry as the train came to a halt.

Weird, I thought. It's such an unpleasant sound, but I still love it.

Especially in the deepest night, when unknown stations halt in front of the compartment window, when you glare at the dim lights and the empty benches. The world has forgotten about those places, but not the trains. They still stand still. Wait. For the one lonely traveller in a rainy night.

I grabbed my luggage and rolled it out of the compartment, checking if my face mask was still sitting. A glance at my phone told me it was already past eleven in the evening.

The doors opened with a hiss, letting me out into the cold. It was already spring, but the weather behaved more as if it wanted to hold onto winter as tight as possible. I let out another yawn as I rolled my luggage to the escalators. Go home, shower, sleep. That was the plan. I had to work the next day anyway.

Luckily the way from the station wasn't long. Just a bit through town.

My head drifted away while I walked, returning to the dream I only vaguely remembered. Here and there bits and pieces came back, but none of them made much sense. Even so, it had left a strange aftertaste. As if I had slept for far longer than possible, as if I had been away for half an eternity.

Work was slow this Monday. As a mere apprentice I wasn't allowed to do everything and most stuff was already repaired, which meant I would have to kill the last two hours at the front desk, dealing with old folks bringing in their broken devices, instead of fiddling with electronic components.

Working kept my mind occupied, kept me from thinking too much. I didn't feel so well that day. After having been with friends for a long weekend and coming back to a lonely apartment, I felt the weight of the emptiness weighing me down.

How had I gotten this apprenticeship again? Absently I stared at the ceiling, trying to remember. I had written to so many firms… And one had eventually accepted me. But the interview and even my first days here seemed to have smeared in my memory.

Weird.

Maybe not, though. That had been a stressful time. Being without work or school for almost six years had taken a toll on me and I had needed a few months to get used to having so much noise and light around me. And people. Hard to believe that I used to have social anxiety, where I now had to be on the phone constantly, let alone the countless people I talked to each day.

And that dream.

Perplex I blinked, wondering why I was thinking about that one again. By now I was rather sure I had been in some sort of spaceship. But the aliens inside had looked like some human dudes. And they had given me an egg to take care off. And then…

Five o'clock. Time to leave. I waved inside the workshop, calling out  a goodbye, before I rushed to get my jacket and be in time to catch the bus home.

On the way I bought some takeaway and was happy to finally be back inside my own walls. No more stupid face-mask. I had to wear those all day long and it always was a relief to be able to take them off. But the number of infected people was rising again, so there was no end to this in sight.

I kicked off my shoes, flopped down into my chair and booted up the PC. Some games to fade out the few hours of free time would be nice now.

In the end, however, I found myself unable to concentrate on anything. My attention was slipping away constantly and so I only listened to music and chatted with some folks online. About nothing important, nothing interesting. Max wasn't online, so I couldn't tell anyone about the dream. Maybe he would know how to interpret it, or why it might have left such a weird aftertaste. Sometimes dreams did that and mostly I couldn't explain it.

Now, everything felt so weirdly blank and empty. Or maybe it was just the lockdown depression. If it weren't for my work I would have spent an eternity without seeing a single human being. That weekend had been the first time since… almost four months. Suffice to say… this apprenticeship had literally saved my life.

And still it was hard to keep going, day after day after day, not knowing when all of this would end or get better at least. Most of the time I just felt cold and empty, wishing for the light of summer to return and brighten my life again.

Two weeks later I had all but forgotten about any dreams and weird sensations. Work was busy, life was stressful. Ironically, being without work had given me a more stable financial situation than I had now, so before or after work I had to fill in tons of papers and make various phone calls to ensure I would get something extra - the apprenticeship money didn't even pay my rent.

On top of that did I find myself unable to cope well with the whole virus situation. My life was nothing but a chain of work - eat - sleep. With nothing in between. There were no people to meet, no places to go and the weather was still too cold to be outside much. So the only free time I had was spent alone. And too much time within my own head had never done me any good.

This might have been the - or one of them - reason why I did what I did the next day.

Rain was pouring from the skies and work went by in a daze. The last few hours I was sitting at the front desk again, but the weather prevented people from actually coming in. I was bored, my mind drifted away into a train of way too dark thoughts, when finally the door opened and a man strode in. He was soaking wet from the rain, his dark hair sticking to his forehead.

I straightened myself greeting the man and asking if I could be of help.

"Mhm, not sure," he said, bobbing up and down on his heels, while curiously glancing around. "I was… sort of… sent here. Was told I could get help."

"Yeah sure, that's what we're here for." I tried to sound friendly and cheerful, even though he seemed a complicated customer. One of those whom you had to drag out every piece of information one by one.

He produced a pen. No, not a pen. It was thicker and made of metal and had a blue light attached to it. The man - he wore a pinstripe suit and a brown coat over it - waved his device over the counter, then over me, then held it to his ear and raised a brow.

"'m not sure we're repairing toys," I cautiously told. "Doesn't look like something we're selling anyway."

"Oh. That's not a toy. Doesn't need repairing either. Works just fine." The man grinned from ear to ear and I remembered that I actually was supposed to throw him out for not wearing a face-mask in here. But no one but me was around, so why bother. And the man didn't seem like the kind who would stop babbling anyway. "I just don't know what kind of help she meant," he went on.

"We… uh… repair stuff. Household and entertainment devices. Stuff like that. Do you… have anything that needs fixing?"

Now his face lit up- "Yes! Yes I do!" - only to drop again. "But you can't. You don't have the skill."

I sighed. Due to looking so young, people always assumed I could do shit. It was annoying. "Just show it to me. I'll see what I can do."

"Mhmm…" the stranger made, eyeing me intensely. He had dark, chocolate brown eyes that bore into mine, but, strangely enough, not in an uncomfortable way. "Why are you a déjà vu?"

I blinked confused.

"Did we meet before?"

Puzzling over his question, I tilted my head a little and took in the appearance of the man. He did look familiar indeed. He….

"I think… I once bumped into you." The situation had been memorable enough, after all. "But that's ages ago. Over ten years… You don't look that old."

"Neither do you," he quipped with glinting eyes. "I remember. Jack was there and Martha. Was before the Ma…" He stopped himself, humming thoughtfully. "Must be what she meant. Doesn't make sense otherwise. Guess you might wanna take a look, after all."

"Okay. Just bring it in."

"Uh. That's not possible." He rubbed his neck and smiled apologetically. "You need to come with me. It's right in front of the door."

Ugh. Always those people who left their stuff in the car... Well, why not. I nodded and followed the billowing coat out into the rain, my eyes already searching for the vehicle. But the parking lot was empty. Instead we stopped in front of… a blue, wooden phone box that said 'police' at its top.

I stopped dead in my tracks, a heavy lump thudding into my stomach.

Déjà vu.

My mind screamed that word over and over, almost like some sort of warning. Why did the sight feel so familiar? Why was my chest tightening so horribly? Not even the cool rain on my skin could wash away the sensations.

The man waved me closer and put a key into the hole, before he tentatively pushed one of the doors open, waving a hand inside.

I swallowed, unable to move for some seconds. The box was too small to house something truly terrible, right? On the other hand, there were enough small things that would definitely fit. Or he might lure me inside, just to lock me away.

But… no. That wasn't a thing the Doctor would do.

I took one step closer, then halted dead in my tracks. What had I just thought? Why would he be a doctor?

"It's in here," he said with an encouraging smile. One that was sort of anticipating.

And then he simply stepped inside. Maybe to get the something out. Slowly I took the last few steps, my hand brushed the painted wood, wet from the rain. The texture felt smooth and warm and a slight tingle rushed over my skin, as if electricity was running through the material. The Doct… the stranger didn't come out again, so I finally dared to peek inside.

And froze.

Now that was impossible. How could there be such a big room inside? My head spun, my stomach turned and I had to grip the door frame tightly.

Déjà vu.

I knew I had definitely never seen anything like this and still it felt as if the mere image wanted to tear apart my brain, to shred every knowledge and perception of reality I had ever possessed. It was impossible.

"How can this be bigger than the box itself?" I asked and carefully stepped inside.

"Transdimensional engineering." The stranger beamed from ear to ear. "I'm the Doctor, by the way." He waved a hand around. "And this is my TARDIS. Can travel everywhere and everywhen. Well… used to. She's kind of stuck."

"Doctor," I muttered dumbfounded. Hadn't one of the people he had been with called him that? How else could I have known? "And time travel." I shook my head and huffed.

He nodded to himself and tossed a glance at the hexagonal console behind him.

"Yeah… can you fix her?"

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Chapter 58: Chapter 57

"Oh, and you can take that off." The Doctor pointed at my face. "I'm immune."

Only after some seconds did I realize that I was still wearing my face mask. Having to have it on me the whole work day and in public transport had gotten me used to it. It actually felt strange not to wear it, but I still stuffed it inside my pocket, while I took a closer look at the coral shaped pillars and the weird round lights on the walls.

"Fix… Why do you think I could fix something like that? Gaping at the foreign technology around me I shook my head, then glanced back at the Doctor. "Is it really a time machine? Is all this from the future?"

He rubbed his neck with a somewhat impish smile. "That's hard to answer. Considering the distance and temporal distortions within the proximity to the galaxy's centre and then the gap between the time your and my civilisation evolved."

I blinked stupidly at him, mulling over the words, all while trying to keep standing upright. My head was spinning. Something in here seemed to make me nauseous, either in here or… the still overwhelming sensation of déjà vu.

"L… isten," I stuttered. "I can barely fix stuff from my own world and time. I'm only an apprentice." Then again was I not eager at all to leave this extraordinary place too soon. My mind wasn't able to cope, however, crawling around at an alarmingly slow speed. "And I definitely can't fix alien tech," I closed, dooming myself.

He was alien. No doubt about that. I just… sensed it, because of the way he felt so utterly different to the people I usually had to deal with, because of how my head still spun and made me sick and my knees weak.

"Ho, careful." The Doctor grabbed my arm and steadied me. "Must be a bit of shock, all this, eh?" He smiled warmly and guided me to one of the jump seats near the console.

"Have I been here before?" I wanted to know as I flopped down into the seat. "It feels so…" There was a distinct lack of words in my vocabulary to even begin describing what I felt and so I only glared wide eyed at the Doctor.

"I know what you mean. But no, I would remember." He thoughtfully bit down on his tongue, mulling over his next words. "The TARDIS. She seems to know you. My ship, I mean. She's sentient"

I glared at the ceiling, trying to understand. A sentient time machine that somehow knew me, that had brought this alien man right to this place to get the most useless person in existence. There was absolutely nothing I could do. Not even my boss and co-workers let me do much because they thought I wouldn't be able to get anything done.

Not that they would have ever given me the chance. They only assumed, based on looks and gender. And it wasn't the first time I thought about looking for something else… but the chances of me finding something were so slim - with my poor social skills and all that - that I stayed anyway. But now…

My head felt a little better and I hopped from the seat to carefully stroke a hand over the console, deliberately staying away from anything I could accidentally push. A light tingling crept from my fingers into my mind, like a soft nudge.

Potential.

I smiled and let out a huff. "Okay. I'll do whatever I can. And you get me away from here. I don't care where."

The Doctor grinned and rushed to my side to flip a few switches. "Alright. Can do that. She needs to get to work again, though." Some buttons and his hand landed on a big lever. "Hold on to something."

I grabbed the rim of the console right in time not to get thrown to the ground as the engines sprang to life with a groan and some wheezing and a few noises that clearly weren't healthy. The whole thing shook violently and I was glad when it was finally over.

And then a screeching resounded through the room that made my ears hurt and my heart clench. It was as painful as it was… sad? Like the outcry of a hurt child. Confused, I glanced at the Doctor and his face showed concern.

"It's not actually hurting her to travel. But each time she loses a great deal of energy."

"And you need something to replenish her fuel or something?"

"Nope, not fuel, not like you'd know it, anyway. It's more… mhm… Yeah, well, let's call it fuel. Too complicated for human brains."

I raised a brow and followed him to the doors, taking a careful look outside when he pushed them open. It only partially surprised me to see that we were in a completely different place. Somewhere in the middle of a big town… London maybe? I hadn't been there too often.

"Can't travel too far," the Doctor explained. "Ever since the Master fiddled with the torinomatic subsystems, that is. And now he's gone and the TARDIS is sick."

There was a strange tingling in my head as he said this. As if something was… calling me, calling or rather… crying out. I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head, stepping out of the doors.

This is too easy, I thought. Shouldn't I be scared? Everything outside the doors could be an illusion and we could be who knows where instead. And I'm just following like an idiot, without even thinking about it.

Or maybe my time at work had made me braver, had taught me to be less scared of new situations. A lot less, actually, compared to just some months ago.

"Who did this to your ship?" I asked, unsure if I had heard the name correctly.

The Doctor winced slightly, his fingers idly stroking over the blue frame. "The Master. He is… like me. No, not at all. Only the same species. I have a responsibility. Have to make sure he stays out of trouble, but… well, that obviously failed."

"You mean he ran off and sabotaged the TARDIS?"

A sigh. "Yeah. Seems like it. I traced him to this time period. Bad time, really bad time. No idea what he wants here."

Neither did I, nor did I have a clue what in the world I could do to help make the ship feel better. My eyes wandered over the passersby, all with masks and weary looks. This truly was a bad time to be alive and an even worse time to be stuck.

"If he's responsible for this stupid virus I'm going to kick his nuts personally," I grumbled.

The Doctor gave me a grin that was clearly involuntary, but he shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. Viruses evolve completely naturally from time to time. Actually in an interval that can be traced and calculated. Should have done that, you lot. Could have saved you quite the trouble." He clapped his hands and beamed at me. "Anyway! He's my problem, not yours."

"And what do you think is here that will help fix the box?" I wanted to know. "There must be a reason for us being here of all places."

"Here? Nothing. Just hiding the TARDIS. And thought you might wanna grab a snack."

I glared at the Doctor and he gave me a smile and a shrug as if to say, this was obvious.

"You have no idea what to do," I concluded, a little peeved.

"Eh, well, somewhat. Maybe. Hey! You wanted to get away from there anyway." He pursed his lips in a childish manner, making me chuckle. "I do have an idea. Come with me. Or… if you still want a snack..."

"I never said I wanted one."

"Oh. Thought you might be hungry after working all day."

Okay, there was no argument against that. My eyes darted over an ordinary hot dog booth nearby and my stomach gave off a demanding rumble.

I sighed. "Well, alright. Might not be the worst idea. Don't you have food in your ship? Or is that not edible for humans?"

"Oh, there is! But it's not the same." The Doctor strode ahead. "Nothing tops the taste of real and honest street food."

"Yeah, but you'll get us into trouble. Stay here. I'll get some."

With that I took out my mask and put it on, giving the Doctor a pointed look that made his mouth drop open as he understood. And I certainly wasn't in the mood to explain anything to anyone. Not that they would believe a word.

Some minutes later I had our food and we enjoyed it while the Doctor brought me back inside the ship, explaining it was now hidden from sight. Something about it being out of sync, whatever that might mean. He then proceeded to open a small latch and pull out some wire, while the other hand held the hot dog. Mine vanished quickly as I watched, curious what he might be planning.

"'m not sure this'll work," he mumbled between bites and had the decency to swallow before continuing. "The TARDIS is telepathic, so I do have some hopes she might… uh… communicate?" He waved a hand at the cables. "I will connect you to her."

"Wha'?" My last bite was forgotten. "Me? Why? How? I… I don't think I can communicate with an alien ship!"

The Doctor's face dropped for a second, but returned quickly to a smile. "She brought me to you. That must mean she can. Probably. Hopefully. We can at least try."

I swallowed and glared at the few crumbs of bread in my hand that I then lay aside. This was crazy. Where had I stumbled into? And why the heck didn't it scare the crap out of me? It was as if the exact opposite was happening. I felt excited and… relieved? A sensation as if I was taking a step forward, after being stuck in one place for too long, as if coming a tiny little bit closer to the solution of a complex puzzle.

"Okay. Do it," I agreed. "I'm curious."

"Ha! That's the spirit!" The alien man grinned from ear to ear, jumped around me and searched for the best possibility to place those wires on me. In the end he simply held them out and made me take them into my hands. "Dunno how that works, myself, honestly. If I could simply talk to the TARDIS I would have long done it. But… eh. Let's just see, yeah?"

I nodded and closed my hands to fists, holding the wires firmly. They felt surprisingly soft between my fingers, silken even and not at all like metal.

"Uh...do I have to do or say something?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I'm not sure. It's the telepathic connector. Usually dangerous to use without modifications, but…" He shut his mouth as he realized what he had just told me.

There was no way to tell if this would harm or even kill me. And I was nothing but a disposable. A random stranger he had picked up. So why bother with safety?

I clenched my fists tighter and closed my eyes. It didn't matter. My thoughts drifted away, my awareness wrapped itself around my perception. Did I feel something new? Was there a foreign sensation?

Open your eyes, little one.

The voice was softly spoken, more a sensation than a sound, like the warm caress of a sunbeam. My lids crept open and instead of the console room I found myself in a completely empty space. But only for some seconds before tiny golden specs started to appear from all around me. Stars. Fireflies. The dust of time.

I held my open palms out, waiting for some of the particles to touch my skin. Each of them tingled the tiniest bit and soon my whole body was vibrating in a way that made me giddy and wrapped me in a warmth only a loving embrace could offer.

You can see, spoke the voice.

"Yeah. It's beautiful. Is that you?"

There was a soft, appreciating hum. Not everyone can see. My thief can't. He was never here.

"Is that why you told him to get me?"

Another hum. We are not here. But I am. I am with you children. Within this world I can speak. I am now the same. I am a thought.

Whenever I took a breath my body relaxed further, the warm light circling me slowly.

"How can I help you?" I wanted to know. "Seeing this can't be enough."

You are connected. You see. You feel. You feel the hearts around you. You sense their joy, their fear and their pain.

My eyes dropped to my feet, a weary sigh escaping my lungs. "I used to think that everyone can do that. And always wondered why they would inflict so much pain to others when it must hurt themselves, too."

But reality was different. Normal people could not sense these things. And they assumed I also could not, because I did not know how to respond to the things I felt, had no knowledge of the accepted social script they were expecting.

You are not broken, my child, the TARDIS hummed softly and the light got denser, filling me with a warmth that almost made me cry. Only the embrace of my father had ever given me such comfort. Only he ever loved me for who I was. No. Not broken at all. You are a light, a little light in all the dark. So lonely. So hurt.

The gold formed into threads, spun around my limbs and my fingers, seeped into the fabric of my clothes and just held me, held me so tight that my chest hurt from all the unspilled tears of decades.

Stay strong, little one. He needs you. They both do. And I need you. I need my thief to be happy. But he can't be happy. He needs his rogue, but he is hurt and lost. And I can't help

I took a shaky breath, trying to stay calm and composed. Never before had anyone needed me, no one had ever given me a reason to keep walking. And now it scared me, because I wasn't sure I could actually do it.

Find my hurting rogue. Guide him out of the darkness. Bring him back to my thief. Open your heart, but don't let his pain consume you.

The lump in my throat seemed to grow with every word and I swallowed it down, straightened and glared into the golden light. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My hands carefully waved through the shimmering threads, caressed them tenderly.

"I don't think I can do that," was what I admitted, breathed out as a whisper.

You can try, child of the void. It's all I'm asking of you.

Yeah… I could do that. I could try. Try and move, step by step, one tiny move at the time, further and further until I would reach the warmth of the golden light again.

The TARDIS hummed soothingly, a melody, a song, a lullaby of ancient times. It made my head tired, my limbs heavy. I was held in warm arms, cuddled up against the light.

And when I blinked and found myself back in the console room, when I realized I was sitting on the cold floor, staring up into the Doctor's worried face…

I could still feel the song of the TARDIS in my heart.

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Chapter 59: Chapter 58

Author's Notes: I promise, this will make sense... eventually. Until then, bare with me and enjoy the ride. Hehehehe

"What happened? What did you see?"