The Cost of Living by vegetables
“THAT’S NOT THE SAME BUTTON!” shouted the Doctor a horrible while later. “Why would you have one button for two oranges and another for”–
She glared at the customer in front of her. “Humans,” she said, gesturing at the till.
“Tell me about it,” the customer said.
“Help is on the way!” came the voice of a checkout machine.“ An assistant will be with you shortly.”
“Hear that?” said the man beside. “It says an assistant will be with me shortly. ‘Shortly.’ Not ten minutes from now.”
“Oh, you can’t go round believing everything people say!” snapped the Doctor. “It isn’t healthy. What’s holding things up there, anyway?”
“Says there’s too many things on the weighing scales.”
“But there’s nothing on the weighing scales!”
“I can see,” said the man, “how you attained such a high station in life.”
“Oh, that’s very clever. Look at him there, how clever he is! ‘Course, what’s a bit more clever,” smiled the Doctor, is this.”
She wiggled her sonic screwdriver at the disgruntled machine.
Hissing, the bag of shopping alongside it melted into a smear.
“I liked that plastic bag,” said the man sadly.
“LORNA!” cried the Doctor as she once again rang the bell that should summon her friend. “LORNA!”
Just like the last four times, her companion failed to appear. The Doctor sighed. She might be terrible at minimum wage labour, but at least she still had a few manners.
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