Labor's Love by enchantment



Summary: When Susan goes into labor, she inadvertently sends out a telepathic call of distress to which all eleven versions of her grandfather answer. And with David taking Susan to the hospital, someone has to stay and watch the children. **Part of the Eleventh Heaven series**
Rating: All Ages
Categories: First Doctor, Second Doctor, Third Doctor, Fourth Doctor, Fifth Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Seventh Doctor, Eighth Doctor, Multi-Era, Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Eleventh Doctor
Characters: David Campbell, David Campbell, Jack Harkness, Jack Harkness, Jack Harkness, Susan Foreman, Susan Foreman, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Daleks, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (10th)
Genres: Alternate Universe, Het, Humor, Romance
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: Eleventh Heaven
Published: 2013.07.26
Updated: 2013.11.13


Index

Chapter 1: I'll Do Anything For Love But…
Chapter 2: The Little Rascals
Chapter 3: The Oncoming Swarm
Chapter 4: Nursery Run
Chapter 5: You Don't Know Jack - Part One
Chapter 6: You Don't Know Jack - Part Two


Chapter 1: I'll Do Anything For Love But…

Author's Notes: I am reposting this story as I am currently working on the last remaining chapter in honor of the fiftieth anniversary. I love Doctor Who and it’s so rich with history with all of the different Doctors, that I wanted to celebrate that. If you’re familiar with Classic Who, you’ll recognize a lot of the references.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

I'll Do Anything For Love But…



A cold, wet, rainy afternoon in the 22nd century finds a very pregnant Susan in her kitchen washing dishes while her children are playing in the living room. The pain that suddenly hits her is so sharp and intense that she not only drops the plate that she's washing, but she inadvertently sends out a telepathic call of distress. It is a call that all eleven versions of her grandfather will soon answer.

Somewhere far away, throughout time and space, each telepathic cry is received and spurring eleven men into instantaneous action. One by one, each man makes a run for his console room and enters the coordinates that will send him directly to Susan. Soon the wheezing, groaning sound of eleven TARDIS engines materializing fills Susan's living room as her children stare on in wide-eyed astonishment.

One after another, each Doctor pops out of his TARDIS and discovers himself to be surrounded by his great-grandchildren. The Time Lords all run over to various children, each man demanding to know the whereabouts of their mother.

Susan stumbles from the kitchen, grasping the doorjamb in an attempt to remain upright, while gritting out between clenched teeth, "I'm right here, Grandfather."

"Susan!" they all exclaim but it is the First and Eleventh Doctors who are the first to reach her side and direct her towards the sofa to lie down.
The First Doctor kneels down next to her and inquires worriedly, "Susan, my dear child, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Grandfather," replies Susan before another contraction sweeps through her and her slight smile becomes a grimace of pain. "For what's considered to be a natural occurrence on Earth, everything is progressing exactly as it should be." She smiles back bravely at him. "You know, Grandfather, I have done this before."

He pats her hand lovingly in affection and support and murmurs, "Quite right, child. Quite right, and a splendid job you've done too."

The Eleventh Doctor kneels down along next to the First and takes Susan's other hand, brushing her bangs out of her eyes while questioning softly, "Susan, where's David?"

"I've already called him, he's on his way home now." Another wave of pain hits and she squeezes their hands tightly as she pants through the contraction. She gazes forlornly at the Eleventh Doctor and cries, "Oh, I am so sorry to bother all of you, Grandfather. Honestly, I didn't mean to call you. It's just that the pain was so awful that I must have sent out a call accidentally. Oh, I'm so sorry, I…" she trails off as she bites her lip in an effort to keep from crying out.

"My dear child," soothes Eleven as he cradles her cheek with his free hand and strokes it with his thumb, "I don't want you to worry about anything right now except for you and that precious child. You're bringing a new life into this world, Susan, into this universe! That's far more important than anything that I was doing at the moment! Besides, there is no place else that I'd rather be than right here with you."

He leans down to kiss her temple and Susan quietly sniffs, "Thank you, Grandfather." When she looks up at him again, she carries a fretful expression as she asks, "Grandfather, I hate to ask this of you, but there is something that I need your help with."

It is the Fourth Doctor who answers so grandly, "Well, of course, my dear, anything for you, anything at all. Just name it."

"I need you all to stay and watch the children for me," replies Susan in a rush of words, knowing that her grandfather will bolt once he's heard them.

"Anything but that," begs the Fifth Doctor as he crumples his hat in his hands.

"Couldn't we merely stay and deliver the child ourselves?" suggests the Sixth Doctor. "That way you could stay here with the little ones."

Rounds of nods of agreement and murmurs of congratulations at such an excellent idea quickly make their way to Susan's disbelieving eyes and ears. "What?" gasps Susan. "Grandfather, please," she implores with tears in her eyes, "I need your help."

The Doctors all turn to look at one another while expressing sighs of resignation. No telepathic conference is needed to arrive at a unilateral decision. Their granddaughter, their Susan, is in need of their help. Nothing else really needs saying.

Susan cries out as another contraction overtakes her and she almost rolls off of the couch, if not for the support of the two Doctors kneeling at her side. The First Doctor shifts around to turn to the others and pleads, "Could one of you young men please come over here and take my place? I don't think that I can take much more of this."

The Tenth Doctor strides over to offer his assistance and questions kindly, "Too much for your hearts?"

"No," replies the First Doctor with a grunt as he rises to a standing position. "It's too much for my knees."

The Tenth Doctor kneels down by Susan and laces his fingers through her own, giving her a hand a quick squeeze. His excitement begins to pour through more than just his eyes when he begins rambling, "You're doing a wonderful job, Susan, just brilliant! Molto bene, in fact! Giver of life, that's what you are! Simply a marvelous job! My dear Susan, we're so proud of you!"

Susan struggles to smile back at her grandfather but the contractions are becoming stronger and faster causing both Eleven and Ten great concern as she moans, "Oh, Grandfather! It hurts so much! I need…"

"What?" demands the Tenth Doctor. "What do you need?"

Susan tries to catch her breath and she groans, "I need…"

"What, Susan?" babbles Ten. "Do you need a cool washcloth, a back rub, a Paracetamol?"

Susan pants softly and grunts, "I need…"

"We'll get you anything at all," swears Ten. "What is it, Susan? What do you need?"

Susan's eyes suddenly light up as if they were on fire as she glowers at her grandfather and she shouts, "I need you to shut up!"

The Tenth Doctor jerks his head back, completely taken aback by her outburst while the other Doctors are too shocked to do anything other than raise their eyebrows in surprise. None of them have witnessed a temper like this since…well…any of their own incarnations really, or at least that flight person from Heathrow.

Rapidly composing himself, the Tenth Doctor chastises, "Well honestly, Susan, that was just rude! Rude and not ginger!" He points his finger at her and lectures, "Now, I know that you're going through a difficult time at present but that's no excuse for poor manners and…OW!"

He howls in pain as Susan grabs his finger and nearly twists it around in a complete circle. She manages to growl out, "In case you haven't noticed, Grandfather, I'm in a great deal of pain! I can't take pain relievers for the sake of the baby so I'm not in the mood to hear you babble on incessantly as you are so prone to do! So kindly do me a favor, Grandfather, and shut up!"

The room falls into a silence until Susan begins to have another contraction and the Second Doctor pokes the First Doctor in his side and whispers, "Well, go on, man!"

The First Doctor stares back at him in confusion as the Second Doctor whispers vehemently, "What are you waiting for? She needs you!"

He gazes at his successor in disbelief and asks in a hushed tone, "Why me?"

The Second Doctor rolls his eyes before looking at him as if he'd just dribbled on his shirt. "Isn't it obvious? You have a cane. You can defend yourself!"

Seeing that the First Doctor wasn't going anywhere near Susan anytime soon, the Ninth prods the Eighth Doctor a few steps in front of him and urges quietly, "Well, go on then! You're the sensitive one, go and comfort her!"

Watching Ten pout at Susan while he rubs his finger, the Eighth Doctor fearfully whispers back, "Why should I have to do it? I'm fighting in a war right now. Isn't that enough?"

The Ninth Doctor smiles encouragingly as he insists, "That's exactly my point! Out of everyone here, you're the only one who's primed for the situation!"

The Eighth Doctor manages to look appalled and disgusted all at the same time before declaring in an unrelenting tone, "I've never come across anything that scary before and you know it!"

The Doctors seem to receive a reprieve as the front door unexpectedly flies open and David enters the house and hurries to Susan's side. Taking in the Doctors' presence, he swiftly bundles up Susan in her coat and grabs the suitcase for the hospital on his way out, leaving without a word as he rushes her out the door.

The Fourth Doctor walks over to close the front door and calls out, "Good luck!"

Susan yells back, "Thank you, Grandfather!" before David settles her inside their car and he drives away at top speed.

The Fourth Doctor softly shuts the door as he gives his other selves a very pointed look and states, "Actually, I was speaking to David."

He sighs dramatically as he surveys the panicked and bewildered faces around him. Then he looks at the children. "Now, Time Tots," he wonders aloud, "What to do with all of you, hmmm?"

To be continued…

Back to index


Chapter 2: The Little Rascals

Author's Notes: I simply adore the entire history of Doctor Who and am quite surprised that it's not referred to more in actual canon. This story will reflect some canon and some famous quotes and not so famous quotes from the various Doctor's throughout the series. This just makes it more fun for me. :)
Brolly is British slang for umbrella and nappies are diapers. Loki is a god from Norse mythology who was known for being a trickster.
The children's names are taken from various actors during the show's history and two have even provided double duty such as Ian for the character of Ian portrayed by William Russell and Ian Marter who played Harry Sullivan, and Sarah for the ever famous Sarah Jane Smith and also for Sarah Sutton who portrayed Nyssa. I'm sure you'll recognize the third as well as all the rest. ;)


Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.


Previous Chapter:
The Fourth Doctor walks over to close the front door and calls out, "Good luck!"
Susan yells back, "Thank you, Grandfather!" before David settles her inside their car and he drives away at top speed.
The Fourth Doctor softly shuts the door as he gives his other selves a very pointed look and states, "Actually, I was speaking to David."
He sighs dramatically as he surveys the panicked and bewildered faces around him. Then he looks at the children. "Now, Time Tots," he wonders aloud, "What to do with all of you, hmmm?"



The Little Rascals



Staring at his audience in quiet contemplation, the Fourth Doctor considers their current predicament before his eyes alight with a faultless solution and he proclaims, "Perfect!" and then dashes down the hall.

He quickly returns to the living room carrying an assortment of blankets, pillows and various stuffed animals and announces, "Nap time!" Eagerly scanning the faces of the children standing before him, he asks, "Now, who's ready for a nice lie in?"

Christopher, the second oldest boy, firmly declares, "Nobody! We want to play!"

The Seventh Doctor props himself up with his brolly so that he can lean down far enough to gaze into Christopher's eyes and croon hypnotically, "You're very tired…exhausted, in fact…you can barely keep your eyes open, you're that sleepy…"

The young boy merely rolls his eyes in response as his eldest sister, Carole walks up and kindly requests, "Great-grandfather, please don't employ such a poor attempt at chicanery with us. It's so beneath you."

The Seventh Doctor's eyes practically disappear into his hairline as he straightens back up with as much dignity as he can muster. Susan and David's third son, Ian, strolls over and opines, "Besides, everyone knows that rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead."

The Sixth Doctor scrunches his face up in annoyance while he demands to know, "Where did you come up with that bit of rubbish?"

A dry glance passes between Ian and Carole before they simultaneously shake their heads in amusement and Carole clears her throat to address the assembly of Doctors. Very much in the manner of her mother, Carole gazes steadfastly at each Doctor until she is assured that she has their attention and then begins her speech.

"Now, Great-grandfather, I know this situation has come upon you quite unexpectedly but there's simply nothing for it but to muddle through the best that we can. This being said and our being the eldest, David and I will do our best to assist you with the other children while we await the arrival of our newest sibling." She places her hand over the hand of the Fourth Doctor clutching a tiny plush Adipose and gives him a comforting squeeze. "Don't worry, you'll do fine."

As she walks away to gather the other children around in a circle, the Fourth Doctor holds out his arms full of bedding and toys and pleads helplessly, "But the moment has been prepared for."

The Eleventh Doctor pats the Fourth Doctor on his back in consolation and chuckles, "Nice try, old man, but it looks like we're going to have to organize ourselves if we're to have any hopes of keeping this lot under control."

He claps his hands together to draw all the Doctors attention and then starts pacing the room as he formulates a plan. "Okay, so first things first, but not necessarily in that order!" He spins around and points to the First Doctor and states, "You're assigned to the bottle and nappy duty."

"What?" barks the First Doctor. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" responds Eleven. "You're the only one of us who traveled with Susan when she was a child so you clearly have the most recent experience."

The First Doctor forms a bit of a pout at his logic which swiftly morphs into a grimace of disgust when Carole hands him a pink frilly apron.

He makes a last ditch effort to evade being harnessed to the kitchen. He's always hated domestic. His expression becomes a mask of pain as he bends over to rub his knees and back while groaning, "But you saw how I was earlier, I'm much too old for this type of labor!"

"Oh, don't give me that!" retorts Eleven in exasperation. "You're the youngest one here!"

"Fine!" spits One as Carole assists him with the apron. "What about the rest of you?"

"We shall be attending to the rest of the children," reasons Eleven. "Believe me, you'll have the much easier time."

"Well in that case, why don't you trade places with me?" offers One as he begins to untie his pink bow."

"Forget it," declines Eleven as he backs away from the First Doctor. "I still hate domestic." One takes a moment longer to glower at Eleven before firing off a rude hand gesture and storming off into the kitchen in a huff.

Eleven points an accusing finger at One's retreating back and bellows, "I saw that! And don't think that I don't remember what that means, you young whippersnapper! That's not Gallifreyan for thank you!" He glances at the Second Doctor and recalls, "We should know, we used it on Borusa often enough back at the Academy."

The Second Doctor clasps his hands together and smiles wide at the memory. The smile quickly fades as he surveys the six children listening to Carole and David's instructions. "Oh, dear," he murmurs fretfully, "we are in trouble."
He watches the melee of children in amazement and marvels, "I simply can't believe how many children that Susan and David have had after only fifteen years of marriage."

Eleven replies, "Well, you remember how things were when we left her here. I suppose they just needed some type of distraction to relieve the pressure of rebuilding the Earth."

Surveying the room for any immediate threat, the Eleventh Doctor is instantly on alert when Billie, the third youngest daughter, runs up and tugs on his sleeve. He kneels down to her level and inquires, "Yes? May I help you?"

"I'm hungry Great-grandfather," relates Billie. She looks up at him imploringly and asks, "Could you please fix me something to eat?"

The Eleventh Doctor grins back at her and vows, "While of course I could, my dear girl! Now what would you like? I'll make you anything you want, in reason of course, but yes, I'll fix you up a nice lovely, healthy snack. Except for pears, I hate pears. Oh, and beans. Beans are evil; bad, bad beans."

Lost in thought, he pulls out his sonic and begins tapping it against his forehead in an effort to help him think. "Oh! I know just the thing!" he exclaims excitedly. "Come with me, young lady, and I'll fix you a delicacy that's tailor made for the palate of one of my progeny! One serving of fish fingers and custard coming right up!"

Yes, concurs Two in silent agreement, that's just what I was thinking, only not in the same way that you are. Oh well, at least it's not pears.

The Second Doctor is brought out of his musings by the sudden presence of David, who is wearing a very hopeful and expectant expression.

"Excuse me, Sir," he begins while rubbing the back of his neck, "but would you happen to have fifty pence for the icecream man? I just heard the music from his truck outside."

"Well, let me see what I happen to have in my pockets, my boy. I don't usually make a habit of carrying money with me but you never know." A minute or two passes before the Doctor finally apologizes, "Oh, I am sorry; David, but I only have twenty pence. It seems that I'm a little short."

"Hah!" laughs the Third Doctor derisively, "You don't say!" He continues laughing heartily as he walks away while carrying the youngest boy, Matthew, in his arms.

The Second Doctor's glare follows the Third Doctor across the room as he issues a special request from his great-grandson. "David, my boy, could you please do me a favor?"

"Of course, Great-grandfather!" he replies instantly with a huge smile and a slight bow. "Your wish is my command!"

The Second Doctor's face appears slightly downcast as he confides, "Apparently, my third self is a bit grumpy today and if I foresee correctly, a pleasant jaunty tune always cheers me right up. Unfortunately, out of all my many shortcomings in my next body, my hearing will be the worst."

He pulls his recorder out of his pocket and hands it to David. "Now, if you could please go over and play a few songs for me, I would be very grateful." When David starts to bring the recorder to his lips, the Doctor waves his hands dismissively and says, "No, not this me, that me over there!" as he points to his third body. "And remember, David, make sure to play nice and loud."

David hurries off to do his bidding, much to the Second Doctor's delight. "That's a good lad," he murmurs cheerily under his breath.

TWEET!

The first note alone of David's tune is enough to startle Matthew into a torrent of tears as well as ignite the Third Doctor's temper. He spins around to face the young boy and demands hotly, "Will you kindly stop playing that infernal racket?"

Fearing that he'll incur further wrath if he keeps playing, David immediately removes the recorder from his mouth while the Doctor continues his interrogation. "Well? Out with it boy! What in Rassilon's name possessed you to start playing with that dastardly thing?"

"You told me to, Great-grandfather," gulps David nervously. "Or rather," he points over at the Second Doctor whose back happens to be turned away at the moment, "that you told me to play it."

"Oh he did, did he?" growls the Third Doctor as he glares fiercely at his previous self's back. He gazes down at David, who is feeling completely abashed, and offers him a rueful smile. "Don't worry, old chap, I know it's not your fault. Do you want to make it up to me?"

Grateful for the chance to redeem himself in the Doctor's eyes, David readily nods his head and awaits further instruction. "I want you to go into your mother's closet and find the old fur coat that I gave her, the one that looks like a Yeti. Then hold that toy horn that's lying over there on the floor up to your mouth and run over to my second self as fast as you can."

A devious grin emerges on the Third Doctor's face as he assures the youngster, "If there's anything that I loved more in that particular body, it was a good joke."

One more fervent nod and the Doctor watches gleefully as David runs off in search of the ratty old coat. The Doctor rocks the squalling baby back and forth while smugly thinking, Take that, Loki.

The Doctor turns his attention back to Matthew and tries to calm him with a lullaby while spinning the top part of his sonic screwdriver in an attempt to distract him. When he maintains a steady flow of tears, the Doctor rubs the back of his neck with the hand holding his sonic and ponders, That's odd, it always worked on Aggedor.

The Eighth Doctor is standing with Ian by the television set browsing through the movie selection. "Is there anything that you want to watch?" asks the young boy.

"No, I'm not really one for movies, Ian," declares the Doctor with a grimace. "It seems to me that just as you're about to settle in and enjoy what it has to offer, it's over. What else would you like to do?"

"How about we play doctor?" quizzes Ian with enthusiasm. "You could be my patient and I could operate on you!"

The Doctor's worried stare and fading pallor practically relate his answer for him. "I don't particularly care for that idea either. What else do you have?"

Ian's brow furrows deep in thought until he arrives at the ideal suggestion. "I've got it! How about we play my holovid games and you see if you can defeat me?" He wears an exceptionally arrogant smirk as he proudly proclaims, "Nobody has beaten me yet. I'm the master!"

The Doctor's lip curls back in disgust as he reels back and states, "I'm not sure that I want to play with you at all, now!"

Seeing the disappointment on the young man's face, he leans down toward him and gently asks, "You know what? Being here right now, with you? That's all I really need." Then he tosses Ian up high into the air and catches him in a tight hug causing the young boy to break out into peals of laughter.

The Sixth Doctor flashes a genuine smile at the scene in front of him before casting a suspicious gaze towards the twins, Sarah and Christopher. They are so busy sneaking a box out of their parents' bedroom that they fail to see the Doctor blocking their path.

Standing firmly in place, both hands on his hips, the Sixth Doctor stares down the two children and questions, "And what do you two think that you're doing?"

"We're just playing, Great-grandfather," answers Sarah, completely guileless.

"With your mother's jewelry box?" asks the Doctor disbelievingly.

"Yes, Sir," defends Ian. "We need her gold jewelry to defeat the Cybermen."

"Oh…well, that makes sense then," concedes the Doctor. "Carry on!" He leaves the children to their play and collides with the Fourth Doctor.

"Sorry!" they both state in unison. They each take a moment to straighten themselves out while the Sixth Doctor grumbles, "I do hate running into myself!"

The Fourth Doctor concurs, "As do I. I'm looking for my scarf." He stretches his arms out as far away from his body as possible. "It's about this long. You remember, don't you? Have you seen it?"

"That hideous thing?" replies Six. "No, thankfully I haven't had to revisit that particular fashion faux pas just yet." He smoothes down the lapels of his frock coat and casually remarks with a superior glint in his eyes, "Fortunately, my taste has taken a colossal detour."

"Yes," agrees Four with a nod of his head and a steady stare of self-satisfaction. "And it's all went to your mouth. Now please excuse me," he pleads with a manic smile, "but I must find my scarf."

As Four marches off, Six turns his head to see the Seventh Doctor cornering Katy, the youngest girl, against the sofa cushions. She appears to be hiding something behind her back.

"Don't think that you can pull the wool over my eyes, young lady," scolds the Doctor in a gentle and teasing tone. "What exactly are you hiding from me?"

Katy's eyes widen innocently as she promptly shakes her head in the negative while obviously clutching the unknown item behind her back.

"Now see here, Katy," he commands with a presence born of a Time Lord. "You cannot hoodwink me! Across this entire vast universe, throughout time and space, I am known as the Doctor, President –Elect of the High Council of Time Lords, Keeper of the Legacy of Rassilon, Defender of the Laws of Time, Protector of Gallifrey…"

Katy reluctantly pulls out her treasure and drops it into the Doctor's hands and he finds himself staring at David's pocket watch, the one that he gave him for his and Susan's first anniversary.

He releases a small sigh and gazes at her with love and adoration. "And I'm simply putty in your hands." Another sigh and he lifts Katy up into his arms before giving her a kiss on the nose. "I'm wrapped around your little finger, just as I was with your mother."

He tweaks her nose and coos, "You're adorable."

Six comes up behind Seven and being of the same mind, quite literally, opines, "Yes, she does seem to take after me, doesn't she?"

The Seventh Doctor glances at Katy's blonde curls and replies, "Yes, but we love her anyway."

The Sixth Doctor's retort is cut off when the First Doctor strides out of the kitchen waving a bottle in the air announcing, "The first bottle's ready! Who wants one?"

Six and Seven wave him over to Katy and he tickles the toddler under her chin while he hands her the bottle. "Here my dear girl, drink up. Have some nice lovely carrot juice."

"Carrot juice?" yells Six and Seven in unity. "Absolutely not!" barks Six while Seven thrusts the bottle back into One's hand and orders, "Take it away this instant!"

Taken aback by their appalling behavior, the First Doctor hurries away back to the kitchen to obtain a new bottle, but only after throwing them one last look of disdain.

"Carrot juice," utters the Seventh Doctor in disgust. "What could I possibly have been thinking?" He swings his gaze back to Katy and places her back on the sofa while wrapping her in a blanket. "There you are my dear, smug as a bug in a rug."

He picks up Katy again and hands her off to Six while instructing, "Here, keep an eye on her. I'm going to make sure that she receives a proper bottle this time." He starts off for the kitchen and then swivels around to caution, "And keep an eye on your watch!"

The Seventh Doctor halts his journey when he sees the Fourth Doctor staring off into space. "Are you alright?" he asks his previous self.

"No," replies Four with an air of foreboding. "Something is unraveling."

"Timelines?" asks Seven.

"No," answers Four in a gruff tone before stalking away in anger. "Something else."

He leaves Seven to stare after him until his attention is caught by the Tenth Doctor's perusal of the Campbell movie collection. "Ooohh! Look everyone! It's a movie about me!"

The Eighth Doctor walks over and flips the holovid case over and taps it a few times to display the movie's description. "Oh," Ten murmurs with a bit of a pout, "It's not a movie about me, it's a movie with Bo Derek." He tosses the case onto the floor and mutters, "Oh, well, their loss."

With a fresh bottle in hand, the Seventh Doctor returns to find Six chatting with Nine and Three. A scream from one of the boys pierces the air and Three passes Matthew off to Nine to investigate further.

He rushes over to the foyer to discover Ian staring at a spider and paralyzed with fear. The Third Doctor places a comforting arm around the boy's shoulders and chuckles softly. "Now, what's all the fuss about, eh?"

Ian quietly points at the spider on the wall and the Doctor squeezes his shoulder and reasons, "A big strong lad like you afraid of a small spider? He's probably more afraid of you than you are of it."

He sees the Fourth Doctor approaching them and questions, "Don't you agree, old chap?"

SPLAT!

Three is stunned by Four's reaction and admonishes, "Well, that was a bit dramatic, wasn't it? It was just a spider."

The Fourth Doctor throws aside the newspaper he used to kill the spider and warns, "That's what you think!" before speeding off to continue the quest for his scarf.

Ian and the Third Doctor face each other in bewilderment and exchange mutual shrugs of their shoulders prior to taking off in separate directions. The boy is barely able to contain his laughter as he passes Six and Nine squabbling.

"Will you kindly take a few steps back?" requests Six. "I think that Matthew has been sick on my coat!"

"How can you tell?" smirks Nine while hoisting the boy up higher in his arms.
The Sixth Doctor sneers in response and requests, "Can you take Katy while I go clean up?"

Nine immediately backs up stating, "I'm already doing enough domestic with the boy so don't push it. Besides, she looks quite happy over there."

"Oh, do be reasonable!" berates Six. "Anyway, I don't see what you have to worry about. Leather is so much easier to clean than cloth and you have less hair to pull," he yelps as Katy tugs on his curls. "Although with those ears…"
"Oi!" snaps Nine. "Watch it, you!"

"You? Don't you mean, me?" asks the Seventh Doctor.

Matthew's sudden coughing fit brings the bickering to a halt. The Ninth Doctor quizzes, "What's wrong with him? He was a fine a moment ago."

"I don't know," responds Six in concern while he reaches over to rub Matthew's back. "Perhaps he is coming down with something after all."

The Seventh Doctor scrutinizes the Sixth Doctor's coat and questions, "Weren't you wearing a cat pin earlier?"

Six pales and Nine cries, "We need a doctor, quick!"

The Sixth Doctor shoots Nine a condescending glare as he drones spitefully, "Oh, my, where ever will we find one?"

"I'm here in the kitchen," answers the First Doctor grumpily, "and I'm very busy so whatever it is, do it yourself!"

The Seventh Doctor notices Billie stumbling from the kitchen, one hand holding her head and the other laying over her stomach. He goes over to her and kneels down offering her a gift. "Here you go my dear, have a kitty pin."

Billie reaches out for the pin and then quickly pulls her hand back to place it over her mouth. "What's the matter, sweetheart? You're as white as a sheet," comments Seven.

"I don't feel very well after the snack your Eleventh self made for me, Great-grandfather. I'm afraid that I'm going to be sick."

The Seventh Doctor quickly stands up and retreats a few steps. "Well keep it to yourself. Discretion is the better part of pallor."

Meanwhile, as the Fourth Doctor continues searching for his scarf, he overhears Ian asking the Fifth Doctor about the Looms. Five catches his previous self's eye and receives a sympathetic gaze in return at being asked such an important question.

The Fifth Doctor nervously clears his throat and begins, "Now, Ian, I am well aware of how a young Time Lord's mind tends to run along the lines of curiosity and self-discovery, but this is a very important issue. The Looms are an incredibly serious and sensitive subject and one that should only be discussed when your mother deems that the time is right."

Ian looks slightly downcast at his Great-grandfather's less than informative answer but has absolute faith in his judgment. He gives up on the idea of learning about the Looms and allows his inquisitive mind to wander to other ventures.

"Okay, so you're not going to tell me about the Looms. Can you at least tell me how humans procreate?" begs the boy.

The Fifth Doctor's countenance lights up from the boy's reprieve. With a sigh of relief, he vows, "Now that I can do. When a man fancies a woman…"

The Fourth Doctor shakes his head and with a quiet chuckle enters each bedroom until he finally comes upon the culprits who have stolen his scarf. "Sarah! Christopher! What in Rassilon's name have you done to my scarf?"

Tangled and entwined in what was once the Fourth Doctor's scarf, the twins gulp audibly before Sarah explains, "We were playing the Minotaur and the Labyrinth and we needed some string."

"But that was my favorite scarf!" groans the Doctor as he picks up the strands of multi-colored unraveled thread.

"We're sorry, Sir," apologizes Christopher. "We'll make you a new one, a better one, we promise!" He bites his lip as he ponders the new scarf before asking, "How do you feel about maroon?"

Back in the living room, the Second and Seventh Doctors are finding that they have a new appreciation for their present companions. "Oh, I do wish Jamie were here," he comments woefully as something flies past their heads and shatters a vase. "He's so much better at taking physical abuse than I am."

The Seventh Doctor sighs in fond remembrance. "Yes, I do seem to recall that. In fact, it makes me wish that Ace were here too." His eyes narrow as he spies some new mischief making. "She has a bat."

Suddenly, a cry from one of the little girls across the room catches everyone's attention, her heart-breaking sobs resonating throughout the now silent room. She is standing next to the Tenth Doctor who is staring in every direction that doesn't have a pair of eyes trained on him.

Eleven immediately storms over and kneels down by her side to comfort her before demanding, "What's wrong here? What did you do to her?"

"Me?" gasps Ten innocently. "Why…why nothing at all…I didn't do anything, I swear…it's just that…um…" he trails off guiltily as Billie's tears increase as she peeks at him through the fingers that are curled up into tiny little fists.

Eleven turns his attention back to the still sobbing girl and soothes, "You poor little thing. What did that ridiculously idiotic thicko last version of me do to you?"

Billie sniffs a few times in an attempt to curb her crying until she finally answers, "I told him that I loved him and he said…he said…'Quite right too!'"

The Eleventh Doctor instantly stands to his full height, whips out his sonic and raps it on Ten's head as hard as he can while glaring daggers at him. "You, idiot! Don't you ever learn?"

The Tenth Doctor rubs his head regretfully and glimpses Nine in the corner of his eye grinning like a maniac. "And what are you so cheery about? Smile any wider and we could use you for a jack-o-lantern!"

Nine merely rocks the boy in his arms and quips, "Does it really need saying?"

"You shouldn't even know that yet!" whines Ten to which Matthew replies by blowing him a raspberry and earning him a hug and kiss from Nine.

The First Doctor has seen enough. The sight of any child crying has always distressed him but even more so when that child is a member of his own family.

He strides over to Billie, who is still crying softly, and kneels down to face her. "Billie, my dear child, you shouldn't fret so. You did a wondrous thing telling me that you love me and it's not your fault that I obviously become too idiotic to appreciate it."

Ignoring Ten's strangled cry of outrage, the First Doctor recalls another upset girl whose heartache that he'd wanted to ease. He thinks of his Susan and the moment that he left her behind.

He pulls out his handkerchief and dabs at her eyes while insisting, "Now, there must be no more tears and no regrets." He smiles kindly at her and praises; "Besides a young lady such as you is much too pretty for tears."

Once Billie's eyes shine with happiness instead of tears, the Doctor puts away his handkerchief and acknowledges the Second Doctor who is holding out a bag of jelly babies for Billie.

"Look at my replacement, Billie," mocks the First Doctor. "Candy and a clown."

The Second Doctor pulls a face while the First Doctor produces his own sweet treat from his pocket. "I have something much better for you, my dear, much better. It's called a gobstopper. I have two kinds from two different centuries. One is from the original recipe and the other is considered to be new and improved. Now child, which would you prefer?"

Billie doesn't need any time to ponder her decision as she gazes at the Doctor in love and adoration. "I definitely prefer the original, Great-grandfather," she proclaims wholeheartedly before clasping her arms around his neck for a tight hug. She also sticks her tongue out at a disgruntled Ten over the Doctor's shoulder.

"Well now, that was definitely rude and not ginger," huffs the Tenth Doctor.

"Yes, it was," remarks the Eleventh Doctor with a pointed stare at Ten. "I wonder where she received that particular trait from?"

Eleven assists the First Doctor to a standing position and declares, "Well, I believe that your timely intervention has earned you a well deserved break."

"Yes, I thought so too," asserts the First Doctor. He turns to Billie and asks, "How would you like to hear the story of Cinderella? It was your mother's favorite story as a child and it's also how I knew that everything would work out for her with your father."

"How so, Great-grandfather?" questions Billie as he takes her by the hand and leads her to the couch.

The Doctor releases a sigh of content as he settles back against the couch cushions and concludes, "Because I left her with just one shoe."

Eleven comes up to the pair and mentions, "I'll need that apron, if you'd be so kind."

"I know, my boy, that's why I gave it to you," One responds with a smirk as he gestures towards Eleven's waist.

The Eleventh Doctor glances down to see that the pink frilly apron in now tied firmly around his waist. He chuckles in amusement before gracefully admitting defeat. "All right, young man, you've made your point. I'll take over from here."

Eleven makes his way to the kitchen and muses, Crafty young devil. It stands to reason though, since that me was the one who was fresh out of the Academy.

He's just about to enter the kitchen when he catches a glimpse of a cricket bat sitting amongst broken shards of what once was a beautiful crystal vase.

He spins around and shouts, "Who thought it was a good idea to offer this lot a cricket ball?" He watches the Fifth Doctor grab Ian's hand and silently slink around the corner with his young cohort in crime.

"As if I didn't already know!" he bellows at their retreating forms. "I expect this to be cleaned up by the time that I finish creating the first Fish Finger Custard Casserole!"

***********Two hours later************


Eleven exits the kitchen with a bounce throwing his arms out wide before clapping his hands together in delight. "The masterpiece is ready! Who wants to be the first in line to taste a sumptuous feast extraordinaire?"

Complete silence greets his question and he scans the room in confusion when he sees why. The other ten Doctors are standing in various areas of the room, each one covering his eyes with both hands.

Eleven immediately notes the children's absence and runs over to the other Doctors. "What are you doing? Where are the children?"

"Relax, mate," answers Nine, "we're playing Hide and Seek with them. They're just hiding."

"Hiding?" repeats Eleven suspiciously as he surveys the living room. "Hiding where?"

Without warning, a wheezing and groaning noise fills the living room and a TARDIS suddenly dematerializes to the utter horror of each Doctor."

"That…that's not possible!" exclaims Ten while whipping out his glasses and scanning the empty space with his sonic. "Even with their combined intellect, they shouldn't be able to pilot a TARDIS!"

"They wouldn't need to," determines the First Doctor as he turns to face the others. "They would only need to flip the Fast Return switch."

Eyes wide, the Eighth Doctor cries out in a panic, "Whose TARDIS was that? Where did they go?"

"It was my TARDIS," bleats the Fourth Doctor.

Seeing the fear filling the Fourth Doctor's eyes, the Fifth Doctor darts across the room and grips him by the shoulders. "Well, man? Where did they go? Where were you before you arrived here?"

The Fourth Doctor stares back forlornly and whispers his previous destination, an utterance so horrific that it instantly forces the respiratory bypass of each Doctor to kick in. "When I received Susan's call, I was…I was on Skaro."


To be continued…

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Chapter 3: The Oncoming Swarm

Author's Notes: Jack met all of the Doctors in So, 11 Doctors Walk Into A Bar, it's also when he lost all memory of those two years. ;) You also might remember Four's hookah from Deadly Assassin.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

Previous Chapter: Without warning, a wheezing and groaning noise fills the living room and a TARDIS suddenly dematerializes to the utter horror of each Doctor."
"That…that's not possible!" exclaims Ten while whipping out his glasses and scanning the empty space with his sonic. "Even with their combined intellect, they shouldn't be able to pilot a TARDIS!"
"They wouldn't need to," determines the First Doctor as he turns to face the others. "They would only need to flip the Fast Return switch."
Eyes wide, the Eighth Doctor cries out in a panic, "Whose TARDIS was that? Where did they go?"
"It was my TARDIS," bleats the Fourth Doctor.
Seeing the fear filling the Fourth Doctor's eyes, the Fifth Doctor darts across the room and grips him by the shoulders. "Well, man? Where did they go? Where were you before you arrived here?"
The Fourth Doctor stares back forlornly and whispers his previous destination, an utterance so horrific that it instantly forces the respiratory bypass of each Doctor to kick in. "When I received Susan's call, I was…I was on Skaro."



The Oncoming Swarm



The Fifth Doctor's hands fall away from Four's shoulders as he steps back in bereavement. "Skaro?" whispers the Eighth Doctor grief-stricken. "No, not Skaro, let it be anywhere but there."

Refusing to allow his other selves to wallow in despondency, the Eleventh Doctor gripes, "Skaro? Well, of course it had to be Skaro! I'm assuming that Mondas and the Death Zone were out of season?"

Shaking off his feeling of helplessness, the Eighth Doctor urges, "Well, let's get after them then! Come on, everyone!" He beckons the others to follow him as he heads toward his TARDIS and finds his stride abruptly halted when Eleven rushes over to block his path.

"No," commands Eleven, "we're not all going. Nine, Ten and I will rescue the children, the rest of you will stay here."

"Are you out of your mind, man?" demands Eight. "The children need all of us!"

Eleven replies calmly, "It's the children that I'm thinking of. Nobody knows better than I what each of you is capable of and there would be no stronger force if we all went. However, what's needed right now is a small force. We need to strike fast and hard to find the children and bring them home. That's not going to happen if we have to locate them and then our other selves. It just won't work if I'm running around all over the place."

Taking their grudging nods and defeated expressions as signs of acceptance, Eleven calls out, "Four, give Ten your coordinates to take us to Skaro." He turns to Eight and promises, "Don't worry, there's no force in this universe that will keep us from bringing those children home."

Unable to bear the frustration any longer at feeling so useless, Six shouts, "And what do you expect the rest of us to do while we remain here? Sit on the sofa while we twiddle our thumbs?"

"No," replies the Second Doctor graver than any future incarnation can ever remember him being. "We pray."

A reverent hush settles down upon the room at Two's unusually somber words which also galvanize Eleven to direct Nine and Ten towards his TARDIS so that they can begin their mission.

The three Doctors file in through the door with Eleven leading the way, leaving the other two to follow him. As they enter the console room, Nine takes in the changes with complete nonchalance while Ten stares on in utter horror.

"I see that you've redecorated," remarks Nine casually. "I don't like it."

"You don't like it?" gasps the Tenth Doctor in disbelief. "Is that all you have to say? Look at this place! Copper walls and stairwells, glass flooring and a circular ceiling! It's like being inside a penny!"

Nine chuckles softly while Eleven starts adjusting the console's controls and Ten continues his rant. He turns to face Nine and declares, "I never changed the desktop in our TARDIS," he swivels to glare at Eleven, "because it was perfect as it was!"

Nine walks away to take his own place at the console as he states, "That's actually the first thing that you've done that I approve of."

Eleven spares Ten a dry glance before replying, "My TARDIS is perfectly marvelous, thank you very much. In fact, she's fantastic and brilliant!" With an affectionate pat to the console, he concludes, "And she's very sexy."

"Sexy?" asks Nine in concern. What in Rassilon's name do I regenerate into?

"I prefer foxy, myself," announces Ten with a sniff of disdain.

Nine's eyes widen dramatically before he closes them and takes a deep calming breath. "And I prefer not to have to listen to this. Can we just go?"

Instantly recalling the reason they're there in the first place, Eleven simply nods his head while Ten mutters, "Of course," and enters the coordinates to begin their journey.

The three Doctors seamlessly work the console as one as they reach across each other to navigate the various assortments of switches, levers and buttons. Nine happens to spy something out of the corner of his eye and turns an incredulous stare onto the object as he asks, "Is that a fez?"

Without taking his eyes off the console, Eleven stretches out his arm to pick up the fez and plop it down onto his head. "Yes, it is. I like to wear hats now and fezzes are cool."

Ten glances off to the side and spies another hat and murmurs, "Hmmm, a Stetson," before he eagerly snatches it up for a closer inspection.

He's about to place it atop his head when Eleven cautions, "I wouldn't wear that if I were you, which incidentally, I was." At Ten's quizzical gaze, he explains, "You'll mess up your really great hair."

Eleven shares a smirk with Nine when Ten tosses the hat aside as if burned. Their respite is short-lived however when the TARDIS suddenly jolts, signifying that they have landed on Skaro.

As they make their way out, everyone steels themselves in an attempt to prepare for whatever may lay waiting for them outside the TARDIS. "Does everybody have their sonic?" questions Eleven.

A quick nod from both Doctors has Eleven pushing the door open as quietly as he can so as not to alert anyone to their presence. His effort was in vain.

The Doctors barely step foot out of the TARDIS when they come upon the sight of Davros yelling obscenities at the children while a group of Daleks huddle behind his hoverchair in fear.

A brief scan of the room reveals a trail of broken gun stalks and plungers littering the floor along with several of the children's cricket balls that his Fifth self had given them over the years. It was difficult to make out the exact amount of damage as the air was thick with smoke from the old hookah that Christopher had found in Four's TARDIS.

As they move closer, the Doctors all notice that the remaining plungers on the Daleks are encased with what appears to be a homemade concoction of bubblegum and jelly babies. Then they gawk in amazement as they watch David pull out their old recorder and play a piercing high-pitched note that causes several Daleks to spin around in circles and cry out for help.

Shaking off their astonishment, the Doctors rush over to the other side of the room to the children. Eleven immediately stoops down to pick up Matthew and Ten swiftly kneels to scoop Katy up into his arms.

As the Tenth Doctor straightens, he walks over to David and watches as the boy continues to make the Daleks spin out of control. "Incredible," he murmurs in fascination. "Exactly what note is that?"

Surprised by his great-grandfather's sudden appearance, David stops playing for a moment and greets, "Oh, hello, Sir!" One more ear-splitting shriek from the recorder and he responds, "In answer to your question, this particular note is known as the I of harmony."

One of the Daleks that was spiraling across the room finally skids to a halt and directs its broken eyestalk with an entangled yo-yo hanging off of it in their direction and proclaims in relief, "It's the Doctor! We're saved!"

Davros growls, "These invaders belong to you? I should have known!" A flying missile appears out of nowhere and hits its target with deadly accuracy. "Ow! Which one of you little spawns threw that satsuma?"

Eleven does another rapid head count of the children to assure himself that they're all accounted for before they leave. "Is everyone alright?"

"Yes!" they all shout in unison as they maintain their reign of terror on the Daleks.

Ten surveys the chaos around him while Davros wipes away the last of the satsuma off of his face. "How long have you lot been here?"

Carole promptly answers, "Exactly five and a half minutes."

Nine's eyebrows shoot up as he nods with approval. "Now, that's impressive."

Eleven queries, "Who gave Davros the black eye?"

"That was me!" exclaims Ian joyfully. "I did it with my Venusian Karate!"

Davros glares at the latest Doctor and snaps, "Who are you? And what is that thing that you're wearing?"

The Eleventh Doctor straightens the fez that Matthew has knocked awry from pulling on the tassel and declares, "I'm the Doctor!" He tugs at the clothing at his waist and adds, "And this is a pink frilly apron. Pink frilly aprons are cool. Now, you'll have to excuse us as we'll just be taking our leave."

Billie runs up alongside Eleven and tugs on his apron to impart some very important information. "Look, Great-grandfather! Freddy Kruger lost his hat!"

"Quit calling me that!" orders Davros with a scowl. "Daleks! Exterminate them!"

Ten instantly whips out his sonic while balancing Katy on his hip. "I don't believe that you heard me the first time," he asserts as he jerks his head to the right to indicate Eleven. "I said that we're leaving and you're not going to give us any problems."

Davros scoffs at the meager threat and Ten's voice drops considerably lower as he insists, "I mean it, Davros, I won't repeat myself again. No second chances, I'm that sort of man."

The Ninth Doctor comes to the forefront to shield the children and growls, "Don't even think about touching these children!" He reaches into his jacket pocket to find it empty and yells, "Where the hell is my sonic screwdriver?"

David promptly runs over to him and hands him the screwdriver in question. Nine gives him a stern look and inquires curtly, "And how do you happen to have this?"

Completely indifferent to the Doctor's upset, David replies, "I took it off of Katy. She must have taken it when you were standing next to her earlier, she does that a lot."

Ten gazes down at Katy's angelic face and muses, "A thief, hmmm? Well, at least you come by it honestly." He darts a glance at Eleven who's wearing a wry expression of his own before adding, "So to speak."

Nine stares down his longtime enemy and growls, "You and I have a long history together, Davros. You have threatened my companions, harmed my friends and taken more from me than you'll ever know. There is no way that I am letting you touch my family." He crosses his arms over his chest and intones, "So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to rescue these kids from the middle of your Dalek fleet and then I'm going home for tea. And if you don't believe me," his voice becomes as hard and as cold as his eyes, "then I'm going to wipe you and every last stinking Dalek out of existence. I'm only giving you this one warning, Davros. Leave, now."

Although trying to maintain their composure so as not to scare the children, Eleven and Ten manage to convey the same anger and threat in their own gazes and stances while keeping their sonic screwdrivers trained on Davros and his remaining army.

The Daleks demonstrate immediate compliance with their reply. "We understand and obey!" Several sticky plungers attach to the front of Davros' hoverchair as they shout, "Retreat, retreat, retreat! Resistance is futile! Beware The Oncoming Swarm!"

Davros cries angrily, "What? What are you doing? Daleks! Stop them! Don't let them leave!" While the Daleks drag Davros down a corridor, it's then that the Doctors notice a sign written in crayon stuck to the back of Davros' hoverchair stating 'JUST DEFEATED'. As he disappears down the hall, they hear his fading shouts of, "No, no, no! Go back! Who's going to clean up this mess?"

"We need to move Four's TARDIS into yours so we can all leave together," comments Ten to Eleven before he gazes at the children severely. "It's obvious that we're going to need all of me to keep an eye on all of you."

Ian's hand shoots up in the air as he offers, "I'll do it, Sir! I've been studying you at the console and I'm sure that I'd be quite proficient!"

Ten ruffles Ian's hair affectionately before placing his hand on the boy's back and giving him a good hard shove that sends him flying over to Eleven. "Over my next dead body, and that goes for all of you before you even ask! I'll do it myself; it won't take but a moment."

A quick nip into Four's TARDIS and a dematerialization later has Ten popping back out Eleven's door ready for their departure. They begin herding the children into the TARDIS when a series of explosions rock the building.

"What was that?" shouts Nine over the deafening blasts.

"That's us," claim Sarah and Christopher simultaneously.

"We happened to have some of Ace's old Nitro on us from your Seventh self's last visit," explains Christopher.

"We were waiting to put it to good use," adds Sarah wisely, "and this seemed to be as good a time as any."

The Tenth Doctor glowers at the twins and barks, "And what have I told you about taking things off of the TARDIS?"

"You said that anything is fair game as long as it isn't yours," recants Christoper by memory.

Ten's retort is cut off when another round of blasts goes off and knocks the children to the floor. "Right!" shouts Eleven as the points to the blue police box. "I want everyone into the TARDIS, now! And whoever's first receives the first helping of my Fish Finger Custard Casserole!"

Not only does he receive blank and a few fearful stares in return at his supposedly enticing offer, but some of the children even retreat a few paces. While Eleven's brow furrows in confusion, Ten suggests, "Or something else equally delicious! Come on, everybody! First one to leg it gets a hot chicken pot pie!"

The children storm the TARDIS at this prospect and Nine and Ten instantly follow to initialize the dematerialization sequence. Eleven hangs back long enough to yell down the corridor, "And it serves you right!"

Matthew provides his own opinion by blowing a raspberry towards the direction of Davros' and the Daleks' escape route. "Well said!" commends Eleven with a quick hug and kiss to the boy's temple as they dart through the door and the TARDIS disappears from sight.

He heads over to the console to discover Nine and Ten busy interrogating David and Carole. Nine works the controls as he reminds them harshly, "I thought that you two were supposed to help us keep an eye on this lot!"

"We were helping you watch them!" defends Carole in earnest. "They all wanted to spread out and hide in different directions, but we convinced them that everyone hiding in just one place would make them much more difficult to find!"

David sticks his hands in his pockets as he rocks back onto his heels and boasts, "It was my idea to use the TARDIS!"

"Oh, well done, David. Genius, you," snarks Nine in response.

"Hey!" objects David. "It's not my fault! I didn't realize that Matthew and Katy could reach the console, that's how we ended up there! And it's not like we wandered off, either! When we stepped out of the TARDIS, they were all right there waiting for us on full alert!"

Ten absorbs this latest bit of information and with a nod of his head and cluck of his tongue, he calmly states, "Oh, well that makes it alright then."

Carole's face scrunches up in uncertainty and she queries, "Are you being sarcastic?"

Both Nine and Ten respond in equally loud and gruff voices, "Yes!"

Nine runs his hands down his face and then proceeds to rub the back of his neck giving himself time to try and calm down. "So that's it then? That's your great defense? You have nothing else to say for yourselves, nothing at all?"

Knowing that any future TARDIS trips hinges on the correct response being given, the children all glance at each other in hopes that one of them will have the correct reply. Finally, it is Christopher who pulls a rumpled bag out of his trouser pocket and offers quietly, "Jelly Baby?"

Each of the Doctors returns his peace offering with a hard stare before relenting and reaching out with various responses of, "Yeah, alright," then "Oooh, yes, please!" and "Do you have any orange ones?"

Eleven munches slowly on his jelly baby as he warns, "You know, you're still not out of the woods yet, we'll deal with you all later."

Ten shifts Katy into a more comfortable position as he leans down to peer into the other children's faces. "Do any of you truly realize the danger that you put yourselves into? What do you think would have happened if we hadn't shown up when we did?"

Totally unfazed by the Doctor's admonishment, Billie replies, "We would have won."

Patience at an end, Nine bellows, "Now hear this, you lot! I'm giving you one chance and one chance only to come to your senses. I don't ever want to see, hear, smell or feel you around my TARDIS without my permission or I'll give your backsides a taste of The Oncoming Storm! Got it?"

"Yes, Sir!" shout the children in succinct agreement, some of them including salutes.

Eleven rocks Matthew as he clears his throat to draw the children's attention. "Now that we've made our feelings clear, there's one more thing that you need to remember. Under no circumstances..."

Ten interrupts, "That's any at all mind you, regardless of how dire the situation…"

Nine adds, "Are you ever and I mean ever to…"

They all conclude at once, "Tell your mother about this little adventure!"

Some salute again and the others either put their hands in the air or place them over their hearts as they avow, "Understood completely, Sir!"

Ian tugs on his ear as he relates, "You know, this trip wasn't a total loss."

"Oh, yeah?" inquires Nine. "How's that then?"

He turns eagerly to his great-grandfather and enthuses, "I had this fantastic idea while we were there that could make us rich! We could make a movie about our adventure! We could call it…wait for it…Dalek Empire Records!"

The Doctors merely stare at him in disbelief until Ten breaks the silence. He stares off into the distance as if trying to recall a distant memory and wonders, "Wait a minute, is that Disney?" He shakes his head in the negative and opines rather rudely, "Oh, no, that's crap."

Ian's excitement instantly morphs into a pout and Eleven laughs softly and soothes, "I'm sorry my boy but that really is awful. Not as awful as pears or beans, but still…" He gives a slight shudder and mutters, "Evil beans."

A soft thump denotes that the TARDIS has landed safely back home. Eleven breathes a sigh of relief and then orders, "Alright, you juvenile delinquents, everybody off!" He shoos them over towards the door. "Go, out, out of my TARDIS!"

They barrel out through the door one by one and run into several Doctors waiting arms, each man's face etched with indescribable relief at the fact that the children are back and unharmed.

The three Doctors exit the TARDIS and are immediately besieged with a ringing phone and someone pounding on the front door. "Now what?" asks the Eleventh Doctor of no one in particular while Ten heads off to open the door and Nine goes to answer the telephone.

Ten opens the door with a warm smile and greets, "Hello! How can I…" His face and voice fall instantly flat. "Oh, it's you."

"Hi, Doc!" acknowledges Jack Harkness as he marches into the living room. "Or should I say Doctors? Remember me? I definitely remember all of you, at least now I do!"

The First Doctor stalks over with his cane at the ready to attack. "I remember you! You're the young scallywag who accosted my granddaughter at Verity's Restaurant & Grill! How dare you show up on her doorstep!"

Ignoring the First Doctor's distress, Jack gripes, "Oh yeah, Susan! I almost forgot about her! Hey, you, in the cricket pants! Where is she?"

The Fifth Doctor glares back and answers frostily, "She's in the hospital giving birth."

Jack's eyes go wide and round as saucers and he gulps audibly. He steadily backs away, his hands in a defensive pose and he vows, "I never touched her, Doc! I swear it!" He looks around the room beseechingly. "You all know that!"

"Easy, you idiot," states Nine. "She's having her husband's baby." He snorts in derision. "Not that has ever stopped you before."

"Oh," murmurs Jack in relief and then with his usual cheekiness and a wink tossed at Nine, "And that's true."

Ten walks over and apologizes, "I'm sorry about the memory loss, Jack, but you have to understand that when it comes to my family, I tend to go a bit overboard."

Jack chuckles and tweaks Katy's nose as he responds, "That's okay, Doc. I burnt up most of my anger while I worked on figuring out how to get here. And having all of my memories intact only serves as a reminder as to how far you'll go to protect the people you care about."

Nine clasps a hand on Jack's shoulder and praises, "That's a good lad. Jack, would you mind staying here for a bit? The hospital just called and Susan wants to see us. It's not urgent so we shouldn't be gone long."

"No problem, Doc," replies Jack amicably. "I'll just make myself comfortable until you return."

"Thanks, Jack," smiles Eleven. "We really appreciate this. Don't worry; we'll be back before you know it." He hands Matthew over to him as he asks, "Here, can you hold him for me? Thanks."

"Oh, me too," requests Ten as he thrusts Katy into Jack's free arm. "We'll be right back! And thanks again for understanding!"

The Doctors all file one by one into their own individual TARDIS choosing either to offer their own apologies or defense of Susan as Ten did or as in Six's case, to snidely comment, "Oh, you so deserved it!"

The First Doctor is the last to stroll past him and so gives him a hard whack on the shoulder with his cane as he demands, "And don't call me Doc!"

Jack rolls his shoulder and grins at the group of children as they come up to introduce themselves. "So," he inquires politely to break the ice, "I hear your mom's in the hospital." When they all nod their heads, he asks as he scans the room, "Where's your dad?"

David answers blithely, "He's with our mother in the hospital."

"What?" screeches Jack as the last TARDIS dematerializes from the room. He stands glaring at the empty area when Billie tugs on his coat and questions, "Did you say that you lost your memory?"

He gazes down at the little girl while the two toddlers in his arms alternate between tugging on the lapels of his coat and his hair and grits out between clenched teeth, "Yes, doll, I did lose it for a while. But I don't think I'll have any problem remembering this."

To Be Continued…

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Chapter 4: Nursery Run

Author's Notes: Sylvester McCoy, AKA the Seventh Doctor, played a butler named Crud on Sky TV's Ghoul-Lashed series. The memories that Susan and David will be referencing are from The Dalek Invasion of Earth, it was Susan's last televised story with the Doctor until The Five Doctors.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who or Sky TV's Ghoul-Lashed.

Nursery Run

Susan is lying in her hospital bed, gazing lovingly at her two newborns while David sleeps peacefully in an armchair in the corner. She starts when she hears the sounds of eleven TARDIS engines and smiles softly in excitement as she informs the twins, "Get ready, you two, you're about to meet your great-grandfather."

The door soon flies open to the sight of all of the Doctor's filing in one by one as the Eleventh Doctor, being last in line, assures the harried nurse, "No, honestly, it's fine. I'm a Doctor. More importantly, I'm her Doctor," he insists as he gestures towards Susan before slamming the door in the nurse's face.

The First Doctor immediately heads towards Susan and the bassinettes and before she even has a chance to ask, he waves a hand dismissively and states, "The children are fine, there's no need to worry, my dear, none at all. They're being watched by a friend of my later selves." He mutters too low for her to hear, "And it serves him right too, the cretin!"

Several coos of excitement at the sight of the twins are heard along with various loving murmurs of 'Susan, my precious child' and 'our dear girl'. The First Doctor stands tall as both hands clutch his walking stick in front of him and he stares at Susan smugly while asking, "Is there something that you'd like to tell us, Susan? Perhaps, there's something that you might have been keeping from us, hmmm?"

Susan's expression is sheepish as she exclaims, "I had twins again, Grandfather! Isn't it marvelous?" She ends her question on a hopeful note.

The Fifth Doctor replies sarcastically, "Oh, yes, just brilliant in fact!" He shoves his hands deep inside his pockets as he gives her a wry look. "And is there any particular reason that you failed to mention this little bombshell?"

Susan's tone is apologetic as she twists her hospital blanket fretfully and explains, "Well, Grandfather, actually there are several reasons. One is that you've been around for so many of our children's births that I wanted to surprise you and another is that we wanted it to be a surprise for the children as well and I was afraid that they would work the secret out of you. You know how they are, after all."

The Ninth Doctor stands with his arms crossed over his chest as he rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath, "Do we ever."

"Anything else?" demands the Sixth Doctor with a knowing smirk aimed specifically at his granddaughter.

"Oh, alright, Grandfather!" huffs Susan. "The main reason that I didn't tell you is because I still wanted you to continue visiting us." She mock glares at him accusingly. "You never did fully recover from finding out that I was expecting twins the last time."

"Yes…well…that's true Susan," admits the Second Doctor, "but having, shall we say, experienced life with your previous children?" At everyone's nod of agreement, the Second Doctor adds, "Well, in saying that my dear girl, you can hardly blame us."

The Third Doctor chimes in, "Besides Susan, it was hardly necessary. You had to know that we would check into the timelines once we knew that you were expecting, just as we have with all of your other children." He walks over and tweaks her nose playfully. "Now don't you feel silly?"

Properly chided, Susan laughs and relents, "Yes, alright, Grandfather, perhaps it was a bit silly of me to keep it from you. But still," she stares at him lovingly, at all versions of him, "I would miss you so much if you didn't come and see me as often as you do now."

The Eighth Doctor bends down and places a kiss on top of her head. "Now that, my dear Susan, is a concern that you need never have."

Susan's eyes are shining brightly with unshed tears as she sniffs, "Thank you, Grandfather, you're always such a comfort to me." She accepts his proffered handkerchief and blows her nose. "Oh, these wretched hormones are just awful! I can't wait until these bloody things are gone!"

"Susan Campbell!" cries the Seventh Doctor. "You mind your language, young lady! I hear enough of that from Ace! Regardless of the situation, there's no need for that type of talk!" He nudges the Ninth Doctor in his side. "Don't you agree?"

The Ninth Doctor startles abruptly from staring at the newest members of his family. "What? Oh, yeah, absolutely. There's no need for that…Ow! Bloody hell!" He spins around and turns on the First Doctor. "Do you mind? Watch it with that thing!"

The First Doctor hastily makes his apologies while he shifts the tip of his cane that's he's been holding in the crook of his arm away from the Ninth Doctor's nether regions. "Oh, I'm sorry, my dear boy. I'm just trying to find my welcoming presents for the children."

He continues to dig into his pockets as he remarks, "My Third and Eighth selves are right though Susan, there never was a need to conceal it from us and there was a never a chance that you would be able to either! Why the day that I found out that you were expecting again, I immediately looked into your child's timelines and was ever so surprised, and yes, even joyful, to find two stunningly bright timelines traveling far out into the future." He releases a hearty chuckle when he declares, "I dare to say that they were so bright that they could have burnt out a sun! Ah, yes! Here they are!"

The First Doctor walks over and gently eases himself down onto the bed and picks up Susan's hand. "Now my dear, before we give you our meager offerings for today's blessed event, how are you feeling?"

Susan smiles grandly and proclaims, "I'm fine, Grandfather, honestly." She turns her gaze onto her children before returning it to the Doctor. "I'm just wonderful in fact!"

He lightly squeezes her hand and enthuses, "And well you should be, my girl!" He peers down at the children and congratulates, "It's an excellent job that you've done here, Susan! Absolutely splendid!"

Wearing a self-satisfied grin, he then hands her something that feels like lumps, both large and small, wrapped up in tissue paper. He taps the gift before stating, "It's a brand new pair of running shoes to replace the ones that were ruined during the Dalek invasion of Earth. Now, I know that I may be a bit late in getting them to you but I know that you'll appreciate them even more now that you have so many Time Tots to run after, and I've included a pair for the little ones as well!"

"Thank you, Grandfather," replies Susan sweetly with a slight twinkle of mischief in her eye. "I knew you'd remember about them eventually." With the barest 'Harumph', swiftly followed by a soft chuckle at her teasing, the Doctor leans forward and graciously accepts a kiss on the cheek from his grandaughter.

The Second Doctor rapidly moves to stand alongside the First Doctor and offers him a hand up off the bed. The First Doctor shoos him away berating, "I'm not an invalid, young man! I'm perfectly able to stand on my own!"

The Second Doctor retorts angrily, "I know that, you young upstart! I'm just trying to hurry you along, you're in my way!" He takes his turn to sit down on Susan's bed and clasping his hands in front of him mentions, "I also saw those same shining timelines and I instantly thought of something that every child needs." First, he hands her a small bow tie and a tiny bow tie headband.

"Oh, Grandfather," murmurs Susan zealously, "I love them!" Susan has to bite her lip to keep from laughing when the Eleventh Doctor makes a disgruntled noise and starts digging through his pockets for another gift. She smiles widely at the Second Doctor and darts a loving glance at the Eleventh as she adds, "Bow ties have always been my favorite!" The Tenth and Seventh Doctors clear their throats rather loudly and Susan looks abashed and notes, "Sorry, Grandfather. Neck ties are lovely too."

The Second Doctor then announces, "I also brought you these, I had them especially made for the children," and holds out a pair of recorders.

Not wanting to seem unappreciative, Susan offers a tight smile as she accepts them and utters, "Um..well..yes, thank you, Grandfather. That was very thoughtless…I mean thoughtful of you." Not noticing her slip of the tongue, he pats her cheek fondly and cheerfully makes room for the next Doctor.

The Third Doctor strides over and hands her two boxes, one large and one small. Always the gentleman, he opens the larger box for her first to which he remarks, "Transdimensional diapers!" He and Susan both share a laugh as they simultaneously declare, "Bigger on the inside!"

While the others share fond memories of their discovery of the diapers for when Susan had needed them, the Third Doctor discreetly places the smaller box into her hand and covers it with her own as he comments, "I had these especially made as well." While bending down to kiss her cheek, he whispers in a conspiratorial tone, "They're hand crafted ear plugs. I believe that you and David will find these quite useful."

He leaves her with a sly wink before the next Doctor takes his place. Much more sincerely, Susan enthuses, "Oh, thank you, Grandfather! We'll make sure to keep these handy!"

The Fourth Doctor approaches and leans over to kiss both of Susan's cheeks before he plops himself down onto the bed. Smiling grandly, he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a rumpled white bag and politely inquires, "Jelly baby?" Susan shakes her head in the negative and the Doctor pops a few into his mouth and thoroughly chews them before asking, "Now my dear, is there anything that I can get for you?"

Susan responds kindly, "No, thank you, Grandfather, I'm fine."

The Doctor nods and says, "Well, alright then…" he searches through his inside coat pockets until he finds his prize, "now, then what do you think of these?" And he whips out a pair of TARDIS blue matching onesies that read 'I LOVE JELLY BABIES' across their fronts as well as a matching pair of K-9 shaped booties.

"Oh, Grandfather! They're adorable and just perfect for the twins!" gushes Susan.

The Doctor readily agrees, "Yes, they are rather marvelous, aren't they? And speaking of the twins, I have something else to give you. I picked it up on the way here." He reaches behind him and picks up a shopping bag off the floor and hands it to her.

She peers down into the bag excitedly and then looks back up again, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Grandfather, don't you think that the babies are a little too young to play with yarn?"

His tone loses a bit of its joviality as he declares ardently, "It's not for these twins, it's for the other two. They owe me a new scarf!" With a huff of indignation, he jumps off the bed while Susan takes another peek into the bag and silently muses, Maroon? Really?

The Fifth Doctor beams at Susan before reaching into his pockets and pulling out two cricket balls. He tosses them into the air and she catches them with practiced ease. Susan asks teasingly, "Two more to add to the collection, Grandfather?"

His expression is sheepish as he sticks his hands deep into his pockets and admits, "Yes, but this way I have to come back and teach them how to play."

Susan grins fondly at the Doctor and divulges, "I know, and that's what makes all of the broken glass worth it."

The Sixth Doctor approaches and gives the Fifth a slight shove that knocks his hat askew when he decides that he's not moving fast enough. He is carrying two quilts over his arm, both in the exact same pattern as his coat. "To match the vibrancy of their timelines, Susan," he declares wholeheartedly and then leans down to pull her head forward so that he can place a kiss on her forehead.

The Fifth Doctor mutters behind them, "Those must be some timelines. Poor Susan, no chance of them getting to sleep now, not with Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat staring them in the face."

Six glowers at Five while Susan grabs his hand in a loving squeeze and soothes in a grateful tone, "Thank you, Grandfather, they're lovely and I'm sure that they'll inspire the children to be as full of life as you are." With a quick cradling of her cheek and a last sneer towards Five, Six makes way for Seven.

The Seventh Doctor immediately pulls out a book from his coat pocket and delivers it to Susan. He taps the cover and suggests, "It's best that you read it while you're here, before you have no chance at home." Susan looks down at the tome to find it is a book on hypnotism. "After today, I realized that I should have given it to you several Time Tots ago."

Susan begins to flip through it eagerly as she breathes, "Finally!" Her eyes are alight with the anticipation of future plotting as she remarks, "This is just what we need, Grandfather, I will definitely put this to good use! If only so that I can have enough free time to watch the old Ghoul-Lashed re-runs on Atmosphere Televid!" She reaches up to give him a hug and laughs, "Honestly, thank you so much!"

The Eighth Doctor strolls over and casually drops down onto the bed next to Susan and declares, "I present you with these," as he hands her two tiny Doctor kits. He holds up a hand to prevent any protests and states, "Yes, before you even say anything, I know that they're too young for them now but they'll grow into them. Besides, everyone should have a chance to play the doctor at least once in their life."

Susan giggles at his joke and heartily embraces him. "They're wonderful, Grandfather, thank you."

The Ninth Doctor appears and gently sits beside his granddaughter. "Are you doing alright, love?" He tucks her blanket in around her and plumps up her pillow. "Anything you need besides an extra set of hands?" he asks cheekily.

Susan laughs aloud until she glances at her children and ruefully admits, "Yes, I might need those soon, actually." Her smile widens again as she notices the Doctor smoothing out her bedcovers and she places her small hand on his large one and promises, "I'm fine, Grandfather, there's no need to fuss so."

She leans back against her pillows and considers, "You know, all of you here reminds me of when Barbara met the Aztecs." At his quizzical glance, she expounds, "With all of these lovely offerings, I feel like a goddess being worshipped."

He chuckles softly, "Well after today's, excuse the pun, labors, you most definitely deserve it." He hands her a bunch of books, all bound together in rough twine, and decrees, "And as one of your most loyal subjects, allow me to present you with this."

Susan turns the collection of books to face her and reads the various titles of author Charles Dickens. She looks at her grandfather shrewdly and he grins in response, "Yeah, they're for all of those nights that you and David will be walking the wee ones up and down the halls trying to put them back to sleep. Babies love to hear the sounds of the voice that they love the most."

Susan smiles softly at a far off memory. "Yes, I remember you doing that with me. Even as much as I loved Dickens, I never could make it past too many chapters. Thank you, Grandfather," she whispers as she reaches out to hug him and kiss his cheek. "I'll treasure these as much as I treasure you," she nods to the twins, "and so will they."

He pulls back from her embrace with his usual manic grin and stands up with more than a hint of pride as he puffs out his chest. As he passes Ten, he taunts, "Top that!" Ten gives a snort of derision and scoffs, "In my sleep!"

Nine smirks just a little too knowingly and inquires smugly, "Yeah? That's probably how you'll start out your regeneration and all." When Ten stares at him agape, Nine shoves him towards Susan and urges, "Well, go on then! Don't keep our girl waiting! Although, you're pretty good at that, aren't you?"

The Tenth Doctor shoots a glare at Nine before he sits down on Susan's bed and while he pats her hand, he calmly consoles her, "Don't worry, Susan, the bad man's gone now." He gives a little bounce on the bed and then a few more until he realizes Susan's not looking all that well. "Susan, are you alright?"

He whips out his brainy specs as he studies her. "Hmmm, I bet it's the hospital food, just one more reason to hate hospitals." His gaze darts around the room as he asks in an anxious tone, "You haven't seen any cat nuns around here have you?"

Susan gives him an odd look and assures, "No, Grandfather, I haven't but I'll be sure to keep an eye out."

He nods and praises, "Good girl, you do that!" He digs in his outer coat pocket and boasts, "And now for the best gift of all!" Ignoring his other selves various eye rolls, scoffs or other assorted forms of disbelief, he pronounces, "A year supply of Spitumup baby food straight from Villengard!"

He becomes a little sad as he tells her, "The first month is pears but you can ring them up and tell them that you want to exchange that particular month's offering."

Susan grimaces in distaste. "Pears? Oh, that's disgusting! Thank you for the warning, Grandfather, and for the lovely gift." His only response is a pointed stare. With an apologetic glance towards his other selves, she amends, "I mean, thank you for the best gift."

Ten proudly struts away just in time to hear Nine mutter in passing, "Jerk." Seeing Susan's reprimanding gaze, Nine throws his arms out to his sides in a helpless gesture and asks, "What? I was just discussing the TARDIS dematerialization sequence with my prior self here," as he indicates an agreeing Eight, "and noting how it seems lately with each regeneration process that it seems to come out with a bit of a jerk."

Susan shakes her head in surrender while Ten opens his mouth to fire off a retort. Nine holds up his hands and instantly expresses regret. "Sorry, mate. That was very petty of me but then you remember how I was. I apologize," he states as he pats him on the back.

As Ten nods in acceptance and makes his way to the other side of the room, the other Doctors try their best to avoid Susan's chastising glare and hold in their snickers of amusement at the post it that Nine stuck on Ten's back that reads 'Pear Lover'.

The Eleventh Doctor walks past Nine and whispers, "I approve," before he sits down next to Susan and he sighs in frustration. "Well, I had a lovely pair of bow ties for the little ones," with a slightly heated gaze at Two, "but never, ever, let it be said that I'm repetitive. Fortunately, I also brought these," and he pulls out two knitted wool baby-sized red fezzes.

Susan squeals in pure delight. "Oh, Grandfather, I absolutely adore them!" She looks at the top of his head and recalls, "They match yours perfectly and they remind me of the first trip that we took on Earth."

He nods his head and the smile he wears is one of fond remembrance. "Yes, we went to Egypt and you wouldn't quit pestering me until I bought each of us a fez so that we would fit in with the locals. I've treasured that memory of our time together and every one after that along with the one who shared them with me ever since." He taps his own fez and quizzes, "See? This way you're always with me." He leans down and kisses her head, "Just as I always will be here for you whenever you need me."

Susan replies genuinely, "Just as you always are, Grandfather." She suddenly drags him down towards her and hugs him fiercely and sniffs, "Thank you for coming today, Grandfather. It's meant everything to me."

The Doctor withdraws enough to remove his handkerchief from his pocket and dry her tears and soothe, "Of course I'd especially want to be here today of all days, Susan." He smoothes her hair away from her face as he reminds her, "I've already told you earlier that there was no place that I'd rather be than at your side and I meant every word."

Susan and Eleven, their hands clasped tightly together, are so caught up in each other's devoted gazes that it takes Ten clapping his hands together to break into their reverie as he broadcasts, "Alright, that's enough of that, you two!" He nods his head to indicate a few of the other Doctors dabbing at their eyes with their own handkerchiefs. "Otherwise we won't have a dry eye in the house. Besides, we have to start the naming part of our visit and I vote for Alonzo!"

The Fourth Doctor clears his throat along with the final vestiges of sentimentality at the previous scene and poses, "I like Fred."

"No!" refuses a petulant Ten. "Alonzo's a much better name for a boy than Fred!"

The Fourth Doctor stares back at him in confusion before pointing to the baby girl in the bassinette. "I meant for her."

"Oh," deflates Ten. "Well, that's alright then."

"Fred?" questions the Third Doctor in distaste. "How unfitting for one of my progeny. I'm sure that you've all seen as I have that she'll have a great gift for the second sight," as he strokes the baby's cheek. "What do you think of Cassandra?"

"No!" and "Are you out of your mind?" rage the Tenth and Ninth Doctors as Ten rolls the bassinette away from Three and growls, 'Give her back to me!"

Three recoils at their vehement reactions and rebukes, "No need to be so rude! It was just a suggestion." He pulls on the hem of his jacket to straighten it and then tugs on his cuffs as he poses, "I had also considered…"

"No!" interrupts Nine hotly. No second chances! One suggestion is all that you're allowed, you know the rules!"

Ten nudges Nine in his side and moans, "No second chances is my line."

Nine rolls his eyes and replies, "Don't worry, mate, you'll get around to it."

The Second Doctor snorts in derision at Three as he passes him. "Chose Cassandra, did you, after the seer? Well, you didn't see that reaction coming, did you?"

The Third Doctor rounds on him and hisses, "I don't know which is smaller, the size of your body or the size of your mind!"

The Second Doctor glowers and spits, "Oh, please! You wish you were me!"

"You imbecile!" retorts the Third Doctor. "I was you!"

The Second Doctor returns, "Which only proves that newer isn't always better!"

When Susan begins to rub her temples with a frustrated sigh, Eleven decides to intervene. "Gentlemen, please!" begs the Eleventh Doctor. He looks pointedly at the Second Doctor and poses, "I believe that you have a name to suggest?"

"Why yes I do," remembers the Second Doctor as he pulls out his recorder and readies himself to blow into the mouthpiece. "What do you think of Melody, like a pleasant tune?'

The Eleventh Doctor shakes his head gently and places his hand over the mouthpiece as a wave of sadness radiates from his being. "I'm afraid that particular name won't bring up the best of memories when associated with a baby." He glances over at two of his counterparts and relates, "Besides, you know how humans love nicknames. All too soon they'll be calling her Mel and…"

"Absolutely not!" huffs the Seventh Doctor.

"You've said quite enough!" orders the Sixth Doctor.

He and Seven walk over and adjust the babies' blankets. Six mutters, "I will not have carrot juice memories attached to either of these little ones!" Seven nods his head in full agreement and concurs, "Most definitely not! And no slurs on their impeccable fashion sense either!"

Seven leans in close to Six to whisper, "Which of course means that particular set of Eleven's hat wear will have to go!"

Six whispers back, "Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. I mean truthfully, fezzes? What in Rassilon's name will we be thinking?"

The First Doctor taps his cane on the floor to draw everyone's attention and then offers, "Dorothy's a rather lovely name, like the little girl in those Oz books that Susan used to enjoy so much!"

The Eighth Doctor shakes his head firmly as he runs his fingers over the little ones hair. "We can't, Ace would have our hide." He casts an apologetic glance over at his first self as he had always thought it to be a lovely name, despite Ace's numerous protests, and confides, "You haven't met her temper yet, but believe me, it's not worth incurring it."

The Fifth Doctor suggests, "Well, let's work on the boy's name for a bit, shall we?"

The Tenth Doctor asks, "What? Why? I thought that we had all settled on Alonzo!"

The Fourth Doctor scoffs, "Honestly? That tripe was disregarded the moment that it was mentioned aloud."

The Tenth Doctor squawks in protest while Five reaches under the little boy's chin and tickles it while declaring, "Well, it definitely won't be Jack, will it young man?"

Murmurs of agreement at this statement are heard all around until Susan announces, "Actually, Grandfather, as wonderful as all of your suggestions have been, they're not necessary. David and I have already picked out the children's names."

"Oh really?" questions the Sixth Doctor? "And who said that you could do that?"

The Fourth Doctor bumps his elbow against Six's arm and states, "She's perfectly well within her right to name her own child." He wears a bit of a pout and stares down at the floor as he scuffs the toe of his boot against it. "I suppose."

The Eighth Doctor asks, "So what do we call them, then?'

Susan answers enthusiastically, "Their names are John and Rose. We chose John, after your Earth alias, and Rose, after David's grandmother."

The Eighth Doctor leans over the boy's bassinette and introduces himself. "Hello there, John, I'm your great-grandfather, or at least one version anyway. You're going to do great things one day and I'm going to do everything in my power to assure that you have the chance to do them. I will do whatever it takes to keep you and our family safe." He strokes the baby's head as he vows, "You, your siblings and your mother, you're what will keep me fighting," and then places a kiss on John's head.

The Ninth Doctor moves over to Rose's bassinette and picks up one of her tiny hands between his thumb and forefinger. "Hello, little one. I'm another version of your great-grandfather. When you're older, I'm going to take you on trips in the TARDIS and show you the universe, just as I did with your mother." He aims a manic grin at Susan who returns it wholeheartedly. His gaze returns to Rose and he adds sternly, "Except for planets with pretty boys, we'll skip those."

The Tenth Doctor peeks over Nine's shoulder at the children and applauds, "They're excellent names, Susan, both of them. Thank you for such a lovely honor."

A soft snuffle from behind reminds everyone that David is present, albeit still asleep in the corner. Susan whispers, "We'll have to try and be more quiet, Grandfather. Poor David, he's exhausted from working all night."

The Ninth Doctor spares a quick glance at David before going back to playing with Rose's fingers and remarking sarcastically, "Right, he must be worn out from watching you give birth to twins."

Susan defends, "Grandfather, that's not fair! David's been working the graveyard shift as well as double shifts twice a week for months so that we can have enough money for him to stay at home with me until we're settled into a routine!"

Nine merely grunts in response while Two, who isn't quite satisfied by Susan's explanation, slyly sidles up alongside David while pulling out his recorder to place it next to David's ear. Susan spots him though and scolds, "Grandfather, don't you dare wake David! Besides, you'll scare the babies, they're almost back to sleep!"

Two apologizes, "I am sorry, Susan. I simply thought the children would appreciate a soft lullaby, just as you used to when you were a child."

Four walks over to Two and tuts, "Susan's right, of course. What in Rassilon's name were you thinking?" Then he hisses in a much lower tone, "Be quicker next time! I've seen Ice Warriors that move faster than you!"

He and Two share a grimace before he turns to stare at David in disgust. "Look at him just laying there, a true lout."

"What are you saying, Grandfather?" questions Susan in suspicion. "Nothing much, my dear," replies the Fourth Doctor. "I'm just warning my younger self not to be too loud."

The First Doctor edges closer to the dresser behind David and purposely knocks a vase against David's head, thus startling him awake. David's Scottish brogue fills the room as he exclaims, "Ow! What? What happened? What's going on? Susan, are you and the children alright?"

The First Doctor acts contrite and utters in remorse, "Oh, I am sorry, my boy, but accidents do tend to happen. In regards to your last question concerning Susan and the children, well…you'd know the answer to that if you'd bothered to stay awake! They're all fine," he pulls David out of the chair, "but don't take my word for it." He thrusts David towards Susan and prods him with his cane. "Check on them yourself!"

When David begins stumbling as he's not fully awake yet, the Seventh Doctor hooks his brolly into the crook of David's arm and steers him towards Susan's bed. "Go this way, David. That's right, right next to Susan, where you should have been all along."

The Fifth and Eighth Doctors are busying themselves at Susan's bedside, seeing to her comfort by straightening her covers and fluffing her pillows. Five doesn't so much as glance at David as he greets, "David, how kind of you to finally join us." He smoothes the covers and tucks in the corners of the blanket. "I'm sorry but there's only room enough for one in here."

David rubs at his eyes in attempt to clear the sleep from his mind while the Eighth Doctor remarks, "Yes, we've missed your animated presence. It's so kind of you to make a conscious effort to visit with us." David watches them continue to fuss over Susan as he muses that he always thought that these two were the most gentle of all of the Doctors selves as they had always been the most kind to him. He figured that meant that they would probably kill him the quickest if he ever hurt Susan or the children.

"Yes, they would," agrees the Sixth Doctor aloud as he responds to David's thoughts. He moves to David's side and adds, "But I'm not so kind. In fact, I've been on trial, don't you know?"

The Third Doctor steps up as well and says, "As have I, even caused me to be exiled on Earth."

Six puts in, "And a man like that has nothing to lose."

Three requests, "So be a good chap and take care of our girl, won't you?"

Six places his arm around David's shoulder as he leans close to whisper in his ear, "Because I can always find you, you know. Any time, any place."

Susan rolls her eyes and reprimands, "Grandfather, that's enough!" She reaches out and grabs David's sleeve and tugs him closer to her. "Look, David," as she hand's him Ten's gift certificate, Grandfather gave us an assortment of baby food for the twins for an entire year!"

David stares down at the paper and exclaims excitedly, "Oh, pears! My favorite!"

At this declaration, the room goes silent and Ten speedily hooks a finger into each child's bassinette and slowly rolls them away from David. David casts a forlorn gaze at Susan and bemoans, "I was never supposed to mention that, was I?"

As the Tenth Doctor continues to move the children away from their father, Susan rolls her eyes and orders him to stop his shenanigans and to put them back. Ten cries, "But Susan, he likes pears! How can he possibly be trusted? I mean, how much do we really know about him anyway? Take his name for instance!" He casts a beseeching gaze around the room for support. "Does the name David sound even remotely Scottish to anyone?"

Exasperated, Susan proceeds to grab a pillow and hold it over her face while she groans into it until the Eleventh Doctor calmly walks up, plops down next to her on the bed and removes the pillow from her grasp. "Now, Susan, calm down." He stares hard at David. "There now, do you see what you've done to her?"

His gaze softens considerably as he turns to Susan. "My dear child, you mustn't upset yourself so! David knows that we only want what's best for you even if it does include him." He smiles benignly at David. "I'm sure that by now, I've made it perfectly clear on how I really feel about you, haven't I?"

David swallows uneasily before responding, "Crystal clear, Doctor. That's what makes me so nervous whenever you visit unexpectedly." The Eleventh Doctor slaps his hand hard against his thigh and declares, "Good! That mean's it's working! Remember David," he advises solemnly, "the only thing to fear is…well, me, actually."

He releases a soft sigh as he states, "Well, it's time to be off I suppose, before the twins aren't the only ones needing nappies. Am I right, David?"

David releases a soft chuckle and then a resigned sigh as he responds, "It's always a pleasure to see you, Doctor." He looks around the room as he adds, "Especially when it's all at once."

"All right, all of you," announces Susan in a firm tone. "That's more than enough of terrorizing my husband. Don't you have a house full of children to return to?" At their acquiescing nods, Susan's brow furrows slightly and she frets, "I hope they haven't been too much trouble, Grandfather."

She doesn't notice how deathly quiet they've become as she laughs, "It's a good thing that each of you brought your own TARDIS here. I remember how much trouble that I would get into when I would flip the Fast Return switch when I was little." She bears a worried expression again as she asks, "You did remember to lock it, didn't you?"

The Eleventh Doctor rapidly replies, "Of course I did, Susan!" With a nervous glance at the others he inquires, "How absent-minded do you think I am?" He ends his question with a small, wobbly laugh.

David squeezes Susan's hand reassuringly as he tells her, "I'm sure everything's fine, Susan. It's not as if the children are going to hijack the TARDIS and take off to Skaro." The couple laughs heartily until she takes note of all of the Doctor's horrified and stricken gazes. "Grandfather," she asks anxiously, "did something happen…"

Ten jumps in and fusses, "Yes, well, time to go everyone! We don't want to leave those Time Tots alone with Jack too long!"

Nine grouses, "Yeah, I can't even fathom a guess at who will be the worst influence on the other, Jack or the kids."

Ten gives a quick nod of agreement before growling low and tossing a glower back at David. "I can't believe how he almost dropped us in it! It's no surprise to me that he likes pears! Eleven darts his own glare at David and opines, "I bet he enjoys beans and all!"

Then each of the Doctors takes their turn and lines up to hug and kiss Susan and the twins goodbye, each of them issuing a tearful farewell. Ten is the last to stay near the children as the others move towards the door and he whispers in a gruff voice, "I don't want to go."

Eleven pats his shoulder consolingly and hushes, "None of that now, we'll be back." He throws a cheeky grin at Susan and his counterparts. "We always are."

Once Susan and David have waved the last of the Doctors out the door, David collapses onto the bed next to his wife and inquires, "Do you think that he'll ever forgive me for stealing you away from him?"

Susan snuggles into his side and answers, "No, I don't think that he will but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you." When David shoots her a disbelieving look, Susan revises, "Oh, alright, what I meant to say is that doesn't mean that he doesn't accept you as a member of the family and accept how much that I love you," she finishes with a twinkle in her eyes.

"That's a bit more honest," declares David grudgingly.

"Besides," persists Susan, "it's all just an act, really, because he's so protective of me. You know, David, you impressed him greatly when you asked me to stay and marry you."

David leans away from Susan, slightly offended, and counters, "Of course I asked you to marry me when I asked you to stay with me, Susan! Your grandfather may think what he likes of me, but I am an honorable man!"

Susan laughs heartily at David's affronted expression. "David, you're so funny, that's not what I meant at all. I was referring to the fact that you asked me twice."

"Twice?" asks David in bewilderment. "Is that supposed to mean something, the fact that I asked you twice?"

Susan nods gently and replies in all sincerity, "It does to Grandfather."

David nods once in acknowledgement and in his own quiet way declares his love for his wife as he murmurs, "Thank you for staying, Susan."

She leans her head on his shoulder and grips his hand tightly while she responds just as softly, "Thank you for asking me, David." They share a quiet moment before David twists around to open her bedside drawer and pull out a small bag. "What's that, David?" queries Susan.

He reaches into the bag and teases, "Let's see if I can jog your memory," as he suddenly waves a pair of stuffed animals in her face and playfully chants, "Fresh fish, fresh fish!"

Susan squirms away from his teasing just as she did those many years ago before they shared their first kiss. She pushes the toy fish away and reproaches, "David, you idiot!" Their mutual laughter ends trails off to end in a gentle kiss and Susan whispers, "I do love you, David."

Her husband's gaze and reply are both overwhelming with emotion as he replies, "I love you too, Susan, so much."

He leans his forehead against hers and muses, "You know, it's nice to not be interrupted by your grandfather this time." Susan giggles in response and David adds, "However, in honor of your grandfather, I also bought these for the children." He reaches into the bag again and out comes two little stuffed monkeys holding tiny bananas.

"Oh, David," laughs Susan, "you should have shown him these! The bananas alone may have changed his whole outlook about you."

David offers her a wry grin before mentioning, "They reminded me of how he likes to tease you about being a little monkey because your cupboard on the TARDIS was always so muddled."

Susan smiles widely and shakes her head in amusement. "I can't believe that he still does that after all of this time, or that he even has the nerve to chastise me about it! Have you seen the state of his storage cupboards?"

David's answering grin is as indulgent as his demeanor, having heard this particular opinion many times over the years. "Well, regardless of that fact," he shifts to look at her tenderly, "I'll always be grateful to him for bringing you to me."

Susan looks back at him just as warmly. "Me too, David." She slowly pulls him towards her for another kiss and murmurs against his lips, "Me too."

WAAAHHH!

Their brief moment of solitude is interrupted by a very loud reminder of what has brought them there in the first place. David comments jokingly, "I see that the twins have inherited your grandfather's timing."

Susan smiles happily as she watches David lean over the bassinettes and fuss over the children. Although, she is completely exhausted from both the labor and her grandfather's visit, Susan has never been more at peace or felt such contentment within her hearts. She loves to watch David with their children, the way he adores each one, encourages every single one of them to follow their own interests and dreams and always finds time in his busy day to make all of them feel like the miracle that they are. Her gaze is full of love as she watches him dart around, like the expert he is by now, seeing to the twins needs until it is obvious that only a feeding will soothe them.

As Susan reaches out to take John, who has thus far been the more gluttonous of the two, Susan reflects on how she would be more than happy to remain right here in this moment forever. However, Rose's cry quickly reminds her of her other children that are with all eleven versions of her grandfather. While she moves John into a more comfortable position for feeding, she recollects a long ago trip that ended in Rassilon's Tomb and wonders how each version of her grandfather is coping with the other. Foremost on her mind though is, What in Rassilon's name is going on back home?

To Be Concluded…

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Chapter 5: You Don't Know Jack - Part One

Author's Notes: If I have managed anything with this story, I hope it is to inspire a few laughs and motivate a few people to discover the magic of the first eight Doctors if you haven’t already. They’re not simply deemed classic because of their eras.

I did my best to honor a great series and I hope that I pulled it off. I’m sorry that it’s in two parts but believe me, it would have just been way too long otherwise. :) So here you go, the first part of the final chapter of Labor’s love and believe me, it really was a labor of love and one I enjoyed more than I ever thought that I would. Happy 50th anniversary, Doctor Who! :D


Previous Chapter:

Foremost on her mind though is, What in Rassilon's name is going on back home?

You Don't Know Jack - Part One

Susan's unspoken question is answered almost immediately as each TARDIS reappears in her home with each Doctor stepping cautiously outside of his blue box and dreading what he will find as he enters the living room only to be met with complete silence. Unfortunately, a quick survey around the living room is all that it takes to instantly reveal all that is being left unsaid.

A cardboard sign written in black marker is propped up on the coffee table with the words 'Torchwood Hub' in large block letters on it. The couches, arm chairs and several areas of floor are littered with dozens of inflatable humanoid figures, both men and women, which the last three Doctors recall having seen before in connection with Jack and a two week exile in the Vortex due to TARDIS repairs. The Fourth Doctor instantlytakes stock of the area and dejectedly closes his eyes while pleading, "I deny this reality."

"Too late for me, I've already lived it," grumbles the Ninth Doctor while his jaw tightens as he continues scanning the living room for Jack. "Those plastic dolls had better be Autons."

"They are, Sir," pipes up Ian from behind the couch as he runs over to the group of Doctors, almost tripping over his own feet as they tangle in his father's trench coat. "Uncle Jack brought them out for us to play with. Aren't they great?" He scratches his head as he curiously inquires, "Although, I wonder why he has so many? Training exercises, perhaps?"

"Never mind that," insists Eleven as he whips out his sonic screwdriver and scans for bacteria. "What's more important is have they been sanitized?"

One by one, the Doctors watch as the children start popping out of different areas of the house, a few more of them bearing coats, some from David's wardrobe and some from Susan's. "Why are you all dressed like that?" demands the First Doctor irritably.

"Isn't it obvious?" boasts Ten while he gestures towards his own overcoat laying over the back of the couch, "they're obviously emulating their hero."

"That's right!" declares Christopher as he points at the Time Agent strolling through the kitchen doorway with a cocktail in one hand and an overflowing laundry basket in the other while David enters alongside him. "We're dressed just like Uncle Jack!"

Nine watches the Tenth Doctor's face drop with fiendish glee and notes, "You know, it was worth it to hear the boy call him 'Uncle' just to see that face." He seems to consider his own words as his future self glowers at him. "Actually, it's the only thing that makes that face worth looking at."

"Why hello, Doctors," greets Jack smoothly after he takes a sip of his drink. "Back so soon? I hope that you didn't rush on our account, everything's been running ship-shape over on our end." He holds up the basket of clothes as proof. "We've even been doing a bit of housekeeping while you've been gone."

"That's very commendable of you, Jack," compliments the Tenth Doctor right before he does a double take and reaches out to withdraw two pairs of Susan's lace undergarments from Jack's shirt pocket.

"What?" cries Jack without an ounce of culpability. "The laundry basket was full!"

"Of course," remarks Ten with a patronizing tone and slight grimace as he motions towards Jack's person. "Do you have any more in there?"

"Gee, I don't know," claims Jack as if he were the epitome of virtue before he flashes a devilish grin. "Maybe you should frisk me."

"I'll do it," offers Carole readily until a swift glance at her great-grandfathers and the possible timelines advise her otherwise. "Oh," she peeps in a small voice, "never mind."

Jack tosses a wink over to the young girl before turning to the Fifth Doctor and calling out, "Cricket Pants!" He waggles his eyebrows and widens his smile at the young looking Doctor. "Remember me?"

"Yes, unfortunately," replies Five with a sigh. "As you can see, we've returned from our visit with Susan so you can feel free to take your leave as your services are no longer required."

Seeing the Doctor's rebuff as a challenge, Jack responds flirtatiously, "You only think that because you haven't tried them yet."

Rubbing his head as if trying to rid himself of a particular ache, or in this instance Jack, the Fifth Doctor briefly closes his eyes to relieve himself of Jack's smiling visage before spinning around and walking away leaving the Captain to turn his attentions onto the Sixth Doctor.

"Hi there, Curly Top! You know, I've always had a crush on Shirley Temple, there's just something about a mop full of curls," he teases Six as he takes a finger and pokes at a hanging blond tendril.

"Really?" inquires Six with great interest as he grabs Jack's finger and gives it a twist. "Well, I've always had a penchant for violence." Jack yelps in pain and hurriedly jerks his finger away while the Doctor mocks, "Well, they do say love hurts."

The Eleventh Doctor has been observing amusedly from the sidelines while unconsciously tapping his sonic against his head as he suddenly realizes, "Of course, that's where Susan learned that trick from! I remember quite clearly now!"

Tenaims a scowl at Six as that same memory forms in his mind as well. "Yes, thanks so much for that," he grouses when he recalls being on the receiving end of that particular injury earlier.

Jack aims a pout at the Sixth Doctor and scolds, "I can't believe that you did that! What are you a child?"

Not giving a whit for Jack's injured finger, the Doctor hums a tune that sounds suspiciously like 'neener-neener-neener' before taunting, "There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."

The Fourth Doctor comes up to stand alongside the Sixth and nods his head in consideration before acknowledging, "True, true. A rather brilliant man said the same thing to me, once." His eyes alight with the memory. "Oh wait, that was me!"

Six tosses his head with one final sneer of condescension towards Jack before walking away to leave Nine, Ten and Eleven to face Jack's wrath. He barely opens his mouth to let loose with a tirade when Ten wearily holds up his hand and orders, "Don't, Jack…just don't."

Billie, while shooting a rather dark glare at a taken aback Eleventh Doctor,approaches the Second Doctorand requests, "Great-Grandfather, I'm feeling a bit better now. Could you please make me something to eat that won't upset my stomach?"

The Doctor smiles down lovingly at her while he pats her cheek. "Why of course, my dear girl, of course, just let me find…," he looks around the room in consternation and not finding what he's looking for, reaches back and takes hold of Billie's hand, or at least what he thought was Billie's hand.

"Let go of me!" demands the Third Doctor as he roughly jerks his hand away from Two.

Horribly embarrassed by the accidental gesture, the Second Doctor hastens to compose himself while he attempts to pass blame. "Do you mind?"

"What are you on about, man?" blazes the Third Doctor. "I never took your hand!"

The Second Doctor suddenly clasps his own hands together in his typical humble fashion and casually remarks, "Well, in a way you sort of did when you regenerated, didn't you?"

The Third Doctor merely rolls his eyes in exasperation as Jack darts a wink in Billie's direction and nonchalantly mentions, "Actually, I believe that was me." The two Time Lords stare quizzically at him for a moment before each man rapidly takes up one of Billie's hands and drags her away from the interloper.

Jack's careless shrug of indifference gives way when he's almost knocked over by Christopher and David fighting over the same trench coat. "Give it over!" shouts David while tugging hard enough to nearly tear the coat in two. "It's my turn to be defrocked!"

Jack offers Nine an uneasy smile in exchange for his fierce growl and presents his own military coat from off of the coat rack to appease them. Regrettably, wearing their Uncle Jack's coat is deemed a prize worthy of continuing their battle over and the current overcoat is tossed aside with a hastily muttered, "Rubbish," from one of the boys before they renew their struggle.

"Rubbish?" cries the Tenth Doctor. Rubbish? That's my coat!" he exclaims heatedly while snatching it up off of the floor and dusting it off as the children as well as the adults ignore him.

"And why are you wearing my glasses?" he inquires as he looks down his nose at Sarah before tugging them away from her face.

"Hey, I need those!" she replies as she squirms away from him and pulls them back towards her and straightens them back onto her nose. "I'm the resident computer expert, Tosh."

"Tosh, yes, that's a perfect description of this situation," notes the Ninth Doctor with a befuddled shake of his head.

The momentary distraction of Matthew greeting, "Hiya Doc," while his little sister, Katy, waves her dolls around in her tiny fist and squeals, "Hiya Doll," give the other children just enough time to surround the Doctors while they withdraw their armory of whisks, hairdryers and water pistols.

"Nobody make any sudden moves, we're on Torchwood business and we're searching for aliens," pronounces Christopher with a wave of his hairdryer.

The Eighth Doctor merely offers them a dry stare and waves a hand around the room to indicate all of the Doctors. "Well, you're definitely in the right place; you'll find plenty of them here."

Ten storms over and without any warning, removes a water pistol right out of Ian's hand. "Can't you play with a flashlight or something? You know how I feel about guns!"

Ian immediately backs up and shouts, "Hostile alien! Hostile alien, we're on mauve alert people!" He never moves his gaze from Ten as he slowly circles him and cautions, "I must warn you, I do know Venusian Akido."

Ninechides the children with a laugh, "Alright you lot, calm down! You might scare the alien."

Ten gives him a withering glare while Eight kneels down to meet them at eye level and counsels them, "Besides, you children are forgetting everything that we've taught you! Not all aliens are bad, remember?" The children all smile and nod in assent as the Eighth Doctor remarks to Nine and Tenin an indulgent tone, "They've obviously been watching that John Hurt movie one too many times."

Eleven watches the children continue their play and without once taking his eyes off of all of the chaos surrounding them, nimbly unties his apron and tosses it into the First Doctor's unsuspecting face. Onesputters for a few moments before he turns on Eleven and demands irately, "What was that for? I thought you were covering kitchen and nappy duty!"

The Eleventh Doctor responds in a tone that is meant to inform the recipient that the matter is considered closed. "Only while you were on your break, of which you must have had a considerable one while I was on Skaro."

The First Doctor scoffs, "Skaro? Surely you jest, my boy! Skaro is nothing compared to this lot and you know it!"

"Nice try," replies Eleven as he plops his fez down on a nearby end table, "but fair's fair after all. You've had your break and now I'm taking mine."

"That's telling him, Doc," praises Jack with a wide grin. "It's always the young ones that need the most discipline." He turns his most charming grin towards both the First and Eleventh Doctors and offers, "Let me know if you need any help with that."

Eleven merely rolls his eyes while the First Doctor'seyes bulge with anger as his mouth curls into a sneer of disgust. "I can assure you, you shamefully wretched excuse for a lothario and a cur, that particular proposal will never be called upon!"

One spins on his heel intending to stalk off before pivoting back around when Jack cheekily comments to the Eleventh Doctor, "You used to have quite the mouth on you, Doc. Seriously though, that offer is still open whenever you're ready. Do you still have your old cane?"

The Eleventh Doctor so doesn't as much flicker an eyelash as he notes his first self coming up behind a completely ignorant Jack. "Is this what you're looking for?" inquires One harshly before swinging it hard against Jack's leg.

"Owwww!" yelps Jack in pain as he hops away from the First Doctor who smugly commands, "And don't call me, Doc!"

Eleven laughs heartily and tells his younger self, "Oh, I needed that after today," then he quickly points at Jack and states, "And so did you!" He turns back to One and says, "I'm glad that you came back though, I forgot to give you something."

"Another break?" questions One hopefully. "No," Eleven answers as he places Matthew into the First Doctor's arms, "this." He sniffs the air with a hint of repugnance while noting, "He definitely needs a change."

The First Doctor reluctantly accepts the boy and walks off with him as Matthew releases a series of raspberries in the direction of the Eleventh Doctor as One begins to search for a place to lay him down. He pats the boy's back and concurs, "I feel the exact same way my boy, the exact same way. Hmmm, let's see about freshening you up, shall we?"

A quick sniff of the air clears any occupants off of the couch that the Doctor has chosen to change Matthew's nappy and he rapidly pulls a baby blanket from his coat pocket to place on the cushion before settling the toddler down onto the couch. He works quickly and efficiently to change Matthew's nappy and comments satisfactorily with a tickle to the boy's tummy, "Now that's much better my boy, isn't it?" as he looks around for a bin to dispose of it.

When he doesn't spy one, he takes note of Eleven's fez left unattended on a side table with monstrous delight. He promptly deposits the soiled nappy into the hat with a smirk and sweeps Matthew into his arms as they hurriedly leave the scene of the crime. Stick me with the domestics, will you, my boy? Hmmph!

A few moments later Eleven sees something sticking out of his fez and peers down in horror at its contents before pointing down at it and demanding in a yell, "What in Rassilon's name is this?"

The Sixth Doctor happens to be strolling by at that precise moment and opines, "Public opinion?" Eyes blazing with fury at his younger self's cheek, Eleven retorts, "You'd know!"

With an indignant sniff and yet dignified nod of his head, the Sixth Doctor takes his leave of a fuming Eleven and walks over to David while still casting an evil eye towards Jack as a blushing Carol chats with him across the room. "What's wrong, Sir?" queries David curiously. "Worried that Carole will catch his eye?"

"No," replies the Doctor in a worried tone, "more like a great number of diseases." When the Doctor turns his full attention onto David, he notices that he appears to look a bit too casual as he holds something behind his back. He narrows his eyes in suspicion and questions, "What's behind your back, David? And I want a straight answer, no preposterous gobbledygook that supposed Time Agent might have taught you."

David reluctantly pulls a very old bottle out from behind his back and the Doctor immediately recognizes drinking it. "Why, you little scoundrel! How did you manage to get a hold of this? I had it safely locked away on my TARDIS. When David remains silent, the Doctor informs him, "This particular bottle is from a case of Dexof wine that my old tutor, Azmael, gave me in congratulations for graduating from the Academy." His gaze grows distant and fond when he recalls, "The last time that I shared it with him, I was in my Fourth incarnation and I had to throw Azmael into a fountain to sober him up."

He snatches it out of David's hands and lectures him, "Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea how potent Dexof is? You could lose all control of your bodily functions!"

"It could do all that from just one sip?" inquires David disbelievingly.

"Yes," replies the Doctor, "because that's exactly what would happen if your mother ever found out you'd been drinking!" He uncorks it and takes an appreciative sniff before darting a sideways glance at David. "Besides, this stuff is too good to be wasted on the young."

David expresses a pout and complains, "I don't see what the big deal is, it's not nearly as strong as the Hyperactive Vodka that I made up for Uncle Jack."

The Doctor gives him a slight glare and begins to reprimand him. "I told you not to call him Uncle Jack, he's not your —" He stares hard at David for a minute when he takes a moment to absorb the boy's previous statement. "Did you say that the Hyperactive Vodka? And that it's stronger?"

David nods sulkily while the Doctor immediately straightens with a huge smile and pats the boy heartily on the back. "Well then my boy, take me to it!"

"Do you really think that you should be imbibing while you're watching all of us?" inquires David in a shrewd imitation of his mother.

The Doctor gives him a condescending stare as he reassures him, "It's merely for medicinal purposes, my boy," while propelling him forward. "Trust me; I am the Doctor after all."

Across the room, the Tenth Doctor is patting down his inner and outer pockets, and having no luck finding a certain item shouts out, "Has anyone seen my pocket watch?"

Eleven continues to buff and sonic his fez as he notes off-handedly, "You were holding Katy earlier on Skaro, weren't you? She might have it," he ponders as he spares her a suspicious glance.

Christopher, who's currently next to his little sister gives her a quick pat down and concludes, "Nope, she's clean!" to the Tenth Doctor's utter dismay.

Eleven purses his lips in thought as he pulls out his sonic and taps it against his chin before ending his musings with a frustrated shake of his head. "Well, there's nothing for it then. Everyone needs to spread out, go on you lot, have a butcher's!" he commands with a wave of his arms. "That's right, I want everyone looking for it, even the littlest ones since they have the best eyes amongst us!" He looks over at Ten and points at him while earnestly insisting, "You're going to need that later!"

Carole sidles up alongside the Ninth version of her great-grandfather who is busy leaning against a bookcase as he watches everyone else search for the pocket watch and throwing out suggestions on where to look as needed. "So…whoever finds it, would they be rewarded?" broaches Carole. "Possibly even with a trip in the TARDIS?"

Nine stares down appraisingly at the girl and casually replies as he continues watching the hunt, "I don't know, I guess it depends."

"On what?" inquires Carole eagerly with an excited gleam in her eyes.

"On if withholding my personal possessions from me is worth incurring my wrath on your backside," he answers with a knowing glance.

Carole's gaze widens in alarm while still never once leaving the Doctor's own as she loudly announces to the room, "Everyone can quit looking now, I've found the watch!" and throws it over to a delighted Ten.

"Well, fancy that," deadpans the Doctor, "looks like it was here the whole time."

Carole holds up her head and twists her lips in a wry grimace. "Yes, well, there's no need to be facetious. And oh," she exclaims excitedly as she offers him a huge grin and hands him a book, "I forgot to give this to you! I found it in an antique store on an outing with Mum last month and I thought that you'd enjoy it."

The Doctor turns the book over and runs his hand over the old and worn leather cover to read in faded gold lettering, 'A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens', and a first edition at that if he knew his books and he did.

"And there's this as well," she adds as she hands him a homemade holodisc labeled Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. "I know how special they both are to you, Great-grandfather," she comments quietly as she notices his eyes misting over from the gesture.

He rapidly blinks his eyes a few times to clear them of any excess moisture as his heart fills with love and affection, not just for the memories evoked from the items, but for the little girl, no make that young woman now, standing before him. She gently bumps his shoulder with her own and hopefully inquires, "Let me know if you fancy a dance later?"

The Doctor offers her his most manic grin before declaring, "If there's anything that an old time-traveler like me can tell you, love, is that there's never any time like the present. You'll find your feet at the end of your legs; you may care to move them."

Carole giggles like the young girl that she is as she is swept up into the Doctor's arms and into a waltz around their little corner of the room. Lost in the pure enjoyment and heart of the moment, neither of them are aware of Jack Harkness' presence until he begins to applaud. "Aw, you two are just so sweet, you know that?" He pushes himself off the table that he was leaning on and taps the Doctor's shoulder. "May I?"

"Leave?" clarifies the Doctor as he gives Carole a twirl. "Why yes, be my guest."

"Very funny, Doc," says Jack with a pout. "You know that I want to cut -"

"Your throat?" supplies the Doctor smoothly for the ex-Time Agent. "Yes, I can easily see that happening. Shaving mistakes occur all the time, Captain, can read timelines me."

When Jack advances once more, the Doctor dips Carole at the same time as he delivers a not so hidden warning aimed directly at Jack. "Sometimes other things get cut off as well." Jack nods once in understanding and hastily throws his hands up in a gesture of surrender as he very quickly steps backwards a few paces in retreat.

Over at the kitchen doorway, Billie is still awaiting her snack as she finishes refereeing yet another argument between the Second and Third versions of the Doctor. Fortunately for her, Three has just spotted Ian bent over something and with a quick nod and mental note to Two, leaves to go investigate.

Sighing with relief, Billie and the Second Doctor enter the kitchen and see One washing the dishes while immediately noting that Matthew is nowhere to be found. Panicked, Two hastily demands, "Where's Matthew?"

The First Doctor briskly orders, "Calm down, my boy! I couldn't very well accomplish anything with him underfoot, now could I? So I placed him in a Time Loop with a Jack in the Box." He waves a soapy hand dismissively in the air. "He'll be fine."

Feeling much calmer, the Second Doctor is able to take a more leisurely survey of the room and spy the boy sitting in the corner with his toys. "Oh well, that's all right then," he decrees with a relieved nod. Albeit slightly traumatizing for the boy.

Without turning around, One asks, "Now, what do you two want? As you can clearly see, I'm very busy and I don't need you two hanging about making a nuisance of yourselves!"

Ignoring his prior self's gruff attitude, the Second Doctor offers a reply as he inspects the refrigerator's contents. "We're here to find something for Billie to eat, she's hungry."

The First Doctor beams at Billie before gazing sternly at his successor. "Well, hurry up and be quick about it, and don't make a mess! I've just tidied up in here," he comments as he turns away from them.

"We'll do our best," answers Two in a tone that's far kinder than the face that he is pulling in regards to the First Doctor's behavior. He then shifts over to the counter stationed alongside the refrigerator with Billie in tow and rears back in disgust upon seeing Eleven's casserole on hideous display. Holding his finger up to his mouth in a shushing motion to Billie, he slyly looks around to ensure that nobody is watching him and then slides it into the waste bin, dish and all.

One's head jerk's up at the sound of the dish hitting the bottom of the bin. "What did you that for?" he asks irritably. "I wasn't done with that yet."

Two is completely gobsmacked. "You can't honestly tell me that you were intending to eat that…that!"

The First Doctor barks, "Oh course not, don't be a fool!" He turns back to attend to the washing up and releases a mischievous giggle. "It's just that I still have a few more plans for that fez."

Billie tugs on Two's sleeve and asks, "May I just have some apples, please?"

The Second Doctor smiles grandly as he chirps, "Why of course, my dear!" He reaches across the counter and pulls the bowl full of apples towards him. "An excellent choice apples, you can never go wrong with the fruit of knowledge, you know. Now, how many would you like?"

Billieeagerly holds out her hands and says, "All of them, please!"

Two holds the bowl close to his chest and advises, "You know, Billie, there can be too much of a good thing. Why don't we try just one apple for starters, hmmm?"

"Where would be the fun in that, Doc?" questions Jack from the doorway. He leans against the doorjamb as he addresses Billie while she pulls out Two's old Piper's hat and places it atop her head. "So, I see you're ready to practice those moves that I showed you, huh, Billie the Kid?" he inquires while mimicking shooting guns with his thumbs and forefingers. "Let me know when you're set up and I'll show you my William Tell."

The next thing Jack knows is a sudden stinging pain as a splash of soap suds lands in his eyesas the First Doctor orders, "You keep your William far away from that child, understand? And I won't Tell you again!"

"Yes," concurs the Second Doctor wholeheartedly, as he walks past Jack while cradling Billie protectively to his side, "I quite agree." He stops long enough to issue his own threat in a particularly harsh tone. "And if you so much think about showing any of your moves to any of my family members, I'll be sure to permanently pluck both of your apples from your limb. I'm sure you understand my meaning, don't you?" he ends pointedly with a hard stare.

Jack shifts uncomfortably under the Doctor's gaze as he gulps audibly before squeaking, "Yes, Sir. No worries on that end," he promises with a swift nod. Man, you sure don't change much, do you? he considers sullenly while thinking back on his hasty exit from his Ninth self and Carole.

Two proffers a tight grin and voices, "That's a good lad," and then gazes affectionately down at Billie. "Come along, Billie, I'm sure that we can find something more suitable for you than what the kitchen has to offer and in the meantime, you can tell me how you happened to come across my old hat. I'm sure that I had it locked safely away in the TARDIS," he muses as he glances at the antique frame on the living room wall still bearing Susan's TARDIS key and sealed tight with his own sonic shortly after David was born.

Jack pulls a face behind the Second Doctor's retreating back before turning his most charming smile onto One. "You know, you may not believe this, but I do grow on you."

"Like a fungus, I presume?" chuckles the Doctor at his own joke. "How do I end up with you as a companion anyway? You might as well tell me, I won't remember any of this you know."

"Really, why not?" quizzes Jack.

"Never mind that, young man," huffs the Doctor, "simply answer the question or is the answer too shameful for you?"

Jack straightens up to his full height and proudly declares, "I'll have you know that I was sacrificing my own life to save a planet full of people, Earth to be exact, when your Ninth self came back to save me."

The Doctor scrubs away at a particularly difficult spot as he shakes his head in amazement. "Hmmpph, I must become soft in my old age."

Taking pity on the old man, Jack divulges, "If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure that it was down to Rose's urging." He releases a wolfish grin. "There's not much that you'll deny that girl."

The Doctor rolls his eye in a mixture of disgust and disbelief. "Oh, so there's a woman involved now is there? This sounds better and better."

"Ah, ah, ah, Doc," tuts Jack, "that's a bit like the TARDIS calling the Vortex Manipulator blue, isn't it? Besides, I've heard all about your romantic overtures both from my travels during my time with and after your Ninth self." He leans in closer to the Doctor as he teases, "You little old cocoa bean lover, you."

"That does it, you bounder, you cad, out, out of this kitchen this instant with your impudent manner and scandalous ways! Out right now and don't call me D-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," interrupts Jack as he races out the doorway to avoid the mop that the Doctor is swinging at him, "and don't call you Doc!"

To Be Concluded in You Don't Know Jack Part Two… and this time I really mean it! ;)

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Chapter 6: You Don't Know Jack - Part Two

Author's Notes: Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Scooby Doo.


You Don't Know Jack — Part Two

The Seventh Doctor is picking his way through the various bits of clutter of Autons and the children's toys strewn about the living room floor when he spies Christopher and Katy off playing together in a corner of the room. No wait, not playing together but fixing something, something that looks suspiciously like a TARDIS engine part.

He heads over to the children and looms menacingly over them as Katy stares in fascination at her brother as he works on the engine part, both Christopher and the part equally covered in an obscene amount of oil. "What are you doing with a brake option?" immediately interrogates the Doctor upon his arrival.

Christopher looks up in surprise at the Doctor's presence and beams a wide smile at him before announcing, "I'm fixing it up for you, Sir! I remember that you've been complaining that your current one is rubbish," he imitates the Doctor's rolling r's. He drags his sleeve across his brow and proudly declares, "It's all done now! See? I've lubricated it and everything!"

Seven narrows his eyes and hums, "Mmmm, yes, I can see that." He points the tip of his umbrella in the direction of the engine part. "And where did you happen to find this one?"

Christopher bats Katy's hands away from the brake option as he answers, "I found it in your Fourth self's storage room for TARDIS parts while we were traveling to Skaro." He puffs up as proudly as a peacock as he points out, "Now you won't have to keep patching up that old one."

The Doctor's returning smile is present as the boy expected but not as enthusiastic as he had anticipated. Seven leans down over the handle of his umbrella and inquires sensibly, "And did it ever occur to you that I wouldn't have had need of continuous repairs if you had simply left the replacement part where it belongs?" He straightens up as he notes irritably, "I've been looking for that particular piece for the past two regenerations!"

"Oh, really?" bleats Christopher. "I guess that I didn't take that into consideration."

"No, you didn't," chides the Doctor as he gives him a stern glance. Upon the rebuke, Christopher's countenance immediately becomes downcast and the Doctor's scowl morphs into a gentle smile while he pokes the boy in his tummy with the tip of his umbrella. "Oh well," he sighs resignedly and remarks, "oil's well that ends well," as he wipes the now greasy tip of his umbrella against the last clean area on the boy's shirt. As a relieved grin breaks out on the boy's face, the Doctor adds one last warning. "But no more taking things that don't belong to you, do you understand?" He eyes Katy unsympathetically as he catches her pulling a pair of spoons from his coat pocket and ignores her squalling when he stops her from reaching in for more.

"You're one to talk," mutters Christopher under his breath, but not quietly enough.

"That's enough fussing from both of you," orders the Doctor before wryly commenting, "There's no ornery among thieves."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, the Third Doctor is quietly standing behind Ian while he grumbles almost inaudibly as he attempts to repair an old broken model of the Fifth's Doctor's screwdriver causing a vast array of sparks to shoot out of the tip. "Watch it with that thing, will you?" barks the Fourth Doctor as he passes by. "That's not how I happened!"

After offering Four an apologetic smile, Ian all but jumps out of skin while releasing a squeak when the Doctor inquires, "Need some help with that, old boy?"

"Oh my giddy aunt, you nearly scared my remaining lives out of me!" wheezes the boy as he tries to catch his breath. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that, especially your great-grandchildren!"

"I have found throughout my lives that it is especially my great-grandchildren who I need to sneak up on, particularly when they have one of my sonic screwdrivers." He picks it up from the table and inspects it. "Even if it does happen to belong to one of my future selves."

"But Sir," protests Ian, "you're not even using it! Why just look at the condition! It's barely fit for more than anything than the loss of an old friend."

"Be that as it may, Ian," concedes the Doctor as he appraises the state of the screwdriver, "that doesn't give you the right to pilfer your way through my belongings whether they are in working order or not. And you and I both know that we have discussed this before on several occasions and in several bodies, and you are not to have your own sonic screwdriver until your mother and I both deem the time to be appropriate!"

The Doctor crosses his arms across his chest as he gives his great-grandson a stern look of disapproval. "Now having heard this argument more times than I care to recount, what on Gallifrey possessed you to try and repair this pathetic pittance for use without our express consent?"

Wearing a defeated slump to his shoulders and the most pitiful expression the Doctor had ever seen since the first time that Susan had tried to make her shopping bags bigger on the inside at the Father Christmas Toy Shoppe on the Southern hemisphere of Polaris Kringle-Claus, Ian gazes woefully up at his great-grandfather and confesses, "I just wanted to be like you."

The Doctor's eyes rise up into his hairline as he recalls Susan telling him that very same thing during her misguided experiment with the shopping bags. Well, there was that and the simple fact that she just wanted more toys. That was also the first time that he had ever reversed the polarity of the neutron flow, he recalled with a soft smile. If he hadn't, the entire toy shoppe would have been sucked into a neverending vortex of endless space and so he had worked quickly and deftly to ensure that all was set right and that there was absolutely no chance in the universe that the Time Lords would catch even the slightest whisperings of what had happened.

Had they only known, he was positive that the mockery of his trial would have been considered the high point of his lives so far. His mouth twisted in a distasteful grimace as he gave a shudder and pondered the taunts of the High Council on the daydreams of a foolish girl and her exiled grandfather that they both surely would have received. Faced with a choice between the two, he knew instantly that he would have rather accepted the position of Lord President, as incredulous a possibility as that was and could ever be, than continually force Susan to endure their cruel jibes and you couldn't become any more domesticated than that.

At the time, that stunt had been one of his biggest gambles and now it seemed that he wasn't the only gambler in the family. "Ian, come here my boy," he requests kindly as he draws him into a comforting embrace. "Now if there's one thing that I never want you to ever do, it's to compare yourself to anyone, not even to someone as wonderful as me. "So why don't you take this," he pulls away from him as he hands him his own sonic screwdriver, "and show me what you can do."

The boy's eyes widen as to nearly pop out of his head as he gulps audibly. "I promise to do my very best, Sir."

"I can't ask for anymore than that, Ian," attests the Doctor with an encouraging smile and pat on the back. The Doctor watches the boy with a keen eye as Ian takes a deep breath to steady his nerves and adjusts the settings on the sonic before finally aiming it and setting it off.

Unfortunately that's not all he set off as the Sixth Doctor's shout of, "Do you mind?" resonates throughout the house as the toilet flushes of its own accord.

Ian spares the Third Doctor a slightly embarrassed glance and murmurs, "Sorry about that for later, Sir," before fiddling with the sonic again only to hear the First Doctor mutter a string of Gallifreyan curses from the kitchen as the garbage disposal shoots out it's contents in reverse covering everything, oddly enough, but the pink, frilly apron. "And sorry about before," mutters Ian dejectedly before handing the Doctor back his screwdriver.

"What? You're not going to quit now, are you?" he asks in a surprised tone. "After all, the third time is the charm and nobody knows that better than me," he finishes with a grand smile. He holds out the screwdriver to Ian and prods him to take it when he still looks unsure. "Go on, lad, I have the utmost faith in you."

A few twists and turns and one last aim at the experiment that Ian Campbell has worked so hard on and put every ounce of effort into that his two hearts could hold for the past three months, all in an effort to impress his great-grandfather, and…nothing happens…except for a peculiar clinking sound. Bewildered, the duo turn and face each other and then scan the area for the noise until their gazes land upon a tea cup sitting on a nearby table.

"Don't look so sad, Ian," urges the Doctor as he takes note of the boy's depressed countenance. "As you said, you tried your best and well…now there's simply nothing left for it."

Ian nods astutely at the Doctor's wisdom and queries, "You're saying that I just have to work harder and keep practicing until I get it right?"

"Yes, well, there is that of course," he concurs as he rubs at the back of his head while casting a chagrined expression at Ian, "but mostly I was wondering if you had any sugar to put in the tea."

Straining to hear One's burbled cursing from the kitchen, but still able to hear it all the same, Ian offers some sage advice of his own. "I don't think that either of us should enter the kitchen just now, Sir, especially me. Besides, if you're really thirsty, I happen to know of some Hyperactivevodka that David's enlightened your Sixth self about. Mind you," he considers with a furrowed brow, "that might be why he's in the loo."

Upon hearing the toilet flush again in accordance to an accompanying groan from Six, the Doctor makes a face of displeasure and suggests, "Why don't we start working on your experiment now, Ian?" as he begins to steer him back around towards his project. "I believe it would be best if we avoided both the kitchen and the Hyperactivevodka for now." They hear another groan from the loo. "And possibly we should include avoiding my Sixth self for the time being as well."

Pffttt! Pffttt! sounds Matthew as he and the Fourth Doctor rush past the curious gazes of the Third Doctor and Ian. "Well said, my boy, well said," as he rubs the boy's back consolingly while he searches out his little sister to play with and Matthew idly spins the wheels on his favorite toy truck. Imagine, placing the boy in a time loop with a Jack-in-the-box! Why, it's positively barbaric! Now had it been something that was bright, joyful and full of goodness, like a bag of jelly babies…well, that I could understand!

Upon spying Katy playing next to Billie and Sarah, the other Doctor immediately heads over to the three little girls and sets Matthew down next to his little sister. "Hello, ladies!" greets the Doctor jovially. "And what are you three up to?"

Katy clicks two more Legos together as she points to her newly made castle and pronounces it, "Lego-opolis!" Matthew joins in by rolling his truck into the side of the castle and declaring it, "Truck-in!"

"That's Trakken, my boy," corrects the Doctor with a pat to his head as he moves to stand next to the other two children. "Ah, cat's cradle, a splendid game full of skill and dexterity."

Sarah and Billie's matching grins of pride are short-lived when the Doctor's eye happens to spy a rather large amassed jumble of yo-yos on the floor that are all devoid of their strings.

Instantly recognizing his beloved yo-yo collection from Nacnud IV, he turns on the two young girls and growls, "That's my prize collection, you egregious thieves! How could you possibly have gotten a hold of these? I personally ensure that they're kept under lock and key in my Games Room whenever they're not in use!"

With a sympathetic gaze, Sarah blithely replies, "We know and you should seriously consider a much better lock, Great-Grandfather, as it was ever so easy to pick."

His eyes bulging in anger, the Doctor silently seethes as he turns to face Sarah's co-hort in crime for her side of the story thus immediately causing Billie to scoot behind her big sister for support and possibly shielding while she meekly offers, "You simply can't play cat's cradle without string."

A clattering of noise behind the trio interrupts any further explanation and they all turn to find Matthew and Katy chucking the black pieces from the Doctor's chess set against one lone white piece that is now lying on its side. "Take that, Melkur!" cries the boy triumphantly.

"And my chess set!" wails the Doctor. "I'll have you know that I play with my companions and K-9 when the occasion lends itself, I always win of course, and throughout all of those times I have managed to maintain it in the same condition in which I first obtained it!" He bends down to pick up the white piece being utilized as Melkur and notes in a petulant tone, "I think you've nicked it."

He lifts his gaze and watches the girls nonchalantly unraveling the string to start another game. "Why is it always my things that inspire you to wreak havoc?" he complains as he observes Sarah execute a flawless cat's cradle. "Exactly what is it in particular," he wonders aloud as he repeatedly plucks at the side of the cradle, "that attracts you pilfering pirates to my possessions, hmmm?"

Tugging the cradle away in exasperation, Sarah huffs, "It's nothing personal, Great-Grandfather! It's not as if we set out on a personal vendetta, we just happened to stumble across them."

"In a locked box?" he cries in disbelief.

"Those are the most intriguing kind," contributes Billie helpfully.

"Besides," interjects Sarah before the Doctor can continue admonishing them, if you truly want to be upset at something then you should direct your ire over there," as she points at David in the corner. "He's been looking at some of Ben Jackson's old magazines again."

"What?" roars the Doctor in shock and outrage, "I thought that the TARDIS had hidden those the last time that Adric had came across them!" He begins to stalk off towards the unsuspecting boy when he suddenly changes direction and strides back over to the girls. "We're not through here, ladies, so I suggest that you start working on these yo-yos!"

"What do you mean?" queries Sarah with a trace of apprehension. The Doctor's smile is cool and almost sinister as he replies, "Something's going to be strung up here by the end of the evening, whether it's the yo-yos or you two, I shall leave up to your discretion."

Then after a last stern glare, the Doctor pivots on his heel and heads out in David's direction bellowing his name with each step. However, David being the eldest boy has long since grown accustomed to the Fourth Doctor's boisterous tones and remains completely unfazed. Pushing his Viking helmet up and away from his eyes, he announces, "Hello, Sir, look what I found! It's a helmet for space cows!"

"Yes, I can see that," acknowledges the Doctor as he notices David holding his hands behind his back, "I also heard that you found a few other things as well. Perhaps even whatever paper that I hear rustling behind you."

"Oh, that?" remarks the boy with pure innocence. "That's just schematics, Sir. I've had a few ideas on how we could fix your chameleon circuit."

"Have you now?" inquires the Doctor with great attentiveness as he nods in consideration before booming out his displeasure. "I know all about your 'schematics' as it were and I can imagine the designs that you're having." He stretches out his arm and moves his fingers in a beckoning motion. "Hand them over!"

Blowing out a stream of air in a disappointed manner, David reluctantly drags his plunder from behind his back and drops the magazines into the Doctor's awaiting palm. With his free hand, the Doctor removes the Viking hat while whacking David on the head with the rolled up magazines before neatly dropping the helmet back down all within a few seconds time.

"Sorry," mutters David with a wince, "I was only looking for some advice on girls."

The Doctor relents with a softened gaze and a dry chuckle. He places his arm around David's shoulders and begins to walks with him as he speaks. "Well, it's always been my experience, my boy, that women tend to bring nothing but trouble and they always seem to leave with your dog."

The Fifth Doctor shares a smile with a passing Four as he catches bits of their conversation as they walk by and then squints his eyes as he notices Carole reading a book and making notes in its pages. "A bit early for you to be doing homework, isn't it? I thought that you were still on holidays."

"I am," she replies without looking up from her reading while she makes another notation alongside a paragraph. "But we've already been notified of our upcoming curriculum next term and so I thought that I would make a head start." She glances up at him with a warm smile. "And it's quite an enjoyable read actually. Even though this story's a bit old fashioned, it's giving me the most fascinating ideas for my paper."

"Well, that's very studious of you," he complements, "but you really shouldn't write in a book no matter what brilliant bit of inspiration might strike you." The Doctor plucks it out of her hand to see what she's been reading and suddenly growls, "Especially this one!" He glares at her and says, "You wretched little fiend! This is my Black Orchid book, given to me by Lord George Cranleigh himself!"

"I know," defends Carole blithely, quite used to the Doctor's temper, in any incarnation, "but it's not as if I'm defacing anything, I'm merely updating the text to the current tongue, so to speak." She points to a specific section of the book. "I mean, honestly, can you believe this? The wording in this passage alone is so outdated that it makes your Type 40 look positively brand new by comparison!" She waves dismissively towards the book as she scoffs, "We don't even use that form of grammar anymore."

The Doctor is livid. "That's because this book was written in 1925 when story and substance were considered to be more important than the flashy, fast-paced, and over emotional tripe and drivel that's trotted out at the drop of a hat!" He drags a hand through his hair while shaking his head in disgust. "No one appreciates the classic writers anymore," he mutters loathingly before turning his full attention and temperament back to Carole. "This," he indicates the book as he holds it up in the air, "is not some common notebook, Carole! In the future, if you want to jot down your thoughts and ideas then use a diary!"

He glowers at her in frustration as she remains calmly sat on the sofa, completely nonplussed at her grievous error in judgment. "Do you have any idea what I had to go through to be awarded such a treasured tome of literary genius?" At the negative shake of her head, he says, "I had to win a cricket game, discover a dead body, be accused of the aforementioned body and solve the murder! Not to mention the ticket that I received from the local constable who monitors the train station for illegally parking the TARDIS!"

He takes deep calming breaths in an effort to reign in his temper which is just beginning to work when Carole inquires curiously, "How much was the fine?"

"That doesn't matter!" he cries exasperatedly. "The lesson that I am trying to teach you is that you should never, ever take something that doesn't belong to you!"

Carole releases a hearty laugh before mentioning with a smug smirk, "You mean like your TARDIS? Or your first two companions, clothes from hospital lockers after a regeneration, Bessie's predecessor, the Master's dematerialization circuit and not to mention all of the other things that I'm aware of and that this you hasn't done yet?" When he merely returns her taunts with a heated stare accompanied by a very noticeable muscle twitching alongside his jaw, she rapidly dawns a contrite expression and adds, "And did I mention how you stole both of my hearts?" as she points at her gold celery pin attached to her dress that he gave her at his last visit.

With a final knowing glare aimed directly at her, he sits down next to his great-granddaughter and opens the book and begins flipping through the pages one by one. "Shall we take a tour of these brilliant musings of yours, then?"

Carole presses her lips together anxiously before snuggling against his side and whispering, "I love you Great-Grandfather."

"As well you should," he grumbles good-naturedly before relenting and leaning down to whisper his reply along with a soft smile and a soft kiss atop her head.

Over by the alcove, the Fourth Doctor is discussing his mercifully brief conversation with David with his Eighth self, when he glances up with a slight grimace as he sees Christopher and Sarah approaching them while dragging a toy wagon in their wake. "So it's you two again is it, what do you want? We're very busy."

"What are you doing?" asks Sarah, ever the inquisitive one.

Without looking up from his work, the Eighth Doctor replies, "We're making a transdimensional dollhouse for Katy so your parents won't have to keep tripping over all of her dolls."

"That is so cool!" enthuses Christopher as he peeks between the Doctors' arms. "Could you do something like that for us when you're through?"

"Well, let's see," muses the Fourth Doctor as he and his future self make the necessary adjustments to finish Katy's surprise, "since you are being so especially kind to knit me a new scarf after you went to all of the trouble of destroying it in the first place…" He turns to them with a wide grin. "Well, I should think not!" Pocketing his sonic screwdriver, he begins to storm off in a huff when he suddenly spins back around and spying Christopher wearing one of his old hats, speedily snatches it off the boy's head and plops it down onto his own before continuing his exit in an angry stride.

A glimpse at his sister has forced Sarah's twin into fits of laughter as she pushes out her front teeth so that they're protruding out of her mouth and twining chunks of her hair so that they curl around her fingers. "Teeth and curls!" her brother snorts out, "that's brilliant!"

Almost doubled over in laughter, they both turn around to face the Eighth Doctor who looks highly less amused than either of them. Giving them a moment to compose themselves, he inquires, "Is there something that I can help you with?"

Christopher clears his throat and humbly requests, "Could we please borrow your cravat, Sir?" while his sister removes the blanket covering the article that she had been towing in the red Radio Flyer wagon that the Doctor had brought Susan so long ago when she was first pregnant with David.

"Well, that is an interesting request," remarks the Doctor in surprise, "have we finally decided to pick up some culture?"

"More like pop culture," declares Sarah. "We're going to reactivate K-9," she indicates the old model sitting in the wagon, "and play Scooby-Doo! We need your cravat so that Christopher can play Fred, I'm Thelma because I'll solve everything and Billie can be Daphne once she's done untangling some string."

Eight stands with his hands linked behind his back as he casually inquires, "And what about, Shaggy? Who's going to play him?" The twins only reply is to stare beseechingly at the Doctor who is already backing away with his hands in the air as he shakes his head in refusal.

"Oh, please, please," they beg in unison, "you're the perfect choice." "Look!" says Sarah as she points at the TARDIS, "you even have your very own mystery machine!"

"You stay away from that," he orders as he pushes her back a few steps. "The only mystery that would be involved in this scenario would be if I agreed, which I don't! Besides, why choose me?"

Christopher straightens to his full height and girds himself to protest with all of the vehemence of youth. "Because…because…," he casts a hopeful eye towards his sister who merely returns a baffled shake of her head in return, "because of your appetite! Yes, your appetite, your appetite for life and mystery and adventure!"

Christopher breathes a sigh of relief as the Doctor seems to nod in his head in deliberation and approval before noting, "That would be an admirable assessment if Shaggy wasn't such a coward."

"But that works for you too," insists Sarah excitedly.

Affronted, the Doctor gives them a cold stare and barks, "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Isn't obvious, Great-grandfather," quizzes Sarah with a touch of confusion. "You're always saying 'coward me'," she notes with air quotes, "and I don't know anyone better at running away than you."

Completely flabbergasted by both the audacity and the accuracy of the statement, the Doctor remains stock still until he is finally able to muster up a reply for the awaiting children. "I have no response for that," he relents with a sigh. He whips off his cravat and waves it in a gesture of surrender before handing it over to Christopher who deftly ties it into a proper knot. After the Doctor lays his coat over the back of the couch and kneels down to inspect K-9 and informs them, "Once I'm done here, we can go search for our Daphne, and while we do that, you two investigators can tell me how it is that you came across this particular version of K-9. Because I am absolutely positive that the last time that I fiddled with this model was during my sixth incarnation before I left the unfinished product in a lower level TARDIS storage room."

"Sir," queries Christopher, "as I recall from your other selves' stories, you always seemed rather fond of K-9. So why is it that you never finished this model?"

A lobster red flush spreads across the Eighth's Doctor's cheeks as he grudgingly admits, "You have to remember that I was rather a gruff sort in that particular incarnation and I wasn't usually the most considerate person when it came to other people's feelings." He glances shamefacedly over to the patiently waiting children and sighs. "After thinking it over, I didn't want to K-9 to be further competition for yet another person to be yapping in my ear as I felt that Peri met that requirement quite commendably without any assistance."

The twins lock astonished gazes with each other before mouthing 'wow' in unison and staring silently back at the Doctor. He uncomfortably clears his throat and says, "Yes, well, that was another lifetime…literally for me. And I'm sure that none of us see a need to mention this if we happen to run into Miss Brown during one of our TARDIS trips, correct? After all," he threatens in a tone that seems too casual, I would hate to see them come to an end."

A shocked gasp and a hurried promise of, "Cross our hearts and hope to regenerate!" practically leaps out of the children's mouths much to the Doctor's satisfied relief as they make the matching gestures to their sworn vows. "I don't think that it's anyone else's business what you've done, do you Sarah?" prods Christopher with a nudge to her ribs. "Absolutely not, Christopher," nods his sister fervently.

"Good," says the Doctor with a huge smile, "I'm so glad that we could come to an agreement. Now let's all work on K-9 in silence, shall we? I think the less said the better." And for once the only replies from the twins are two quick and very quiet nods.

Flopping back down onto the couch between the Tenth and Eleventh versions of the Doctor, David releases a disgruntled sigh. "What's wrong with you?" questions the Tenth Doctor as he throws on his glasses for a closer look. "You haven't been sampling that hideous casserole have you?"

"No," bemoans David while Eleven does his best to send his prior self a death glare. "I fancy a girl named Georgia, you know not like the city but like the planet, and I'm wondering how I can capture her attention."

"Ah," states the Eleventh Doctor as he and Ten share a knowing glance, "women troubles! Well, David, I dare say that you came to the right place. Have you tried anything to catch her eye so far?"

"No," answers David fretfully, "not yet. Do you think that I should impress her with my Venusian Akido skills?"

"Definitely not," declares Eleven with a firm shake of his head. "No, girls are more impressed by acts reflecting one's cultured refinement and gentlemanly attributes."

David waits patiently for all of five seconds before prodding, "For instance?"

Ten leans forward as he shares in confidence, "For example, refer to your worldliness by expressing your various travel experience. If you know another language than drop in a few foreign words into the conversation every now and then, impress her with the aptitude of your tongue."

Sudden realization begins to dawn in David's gaze and he looks at his great-grandfather as if seeing him through new eyes. "Is that why you always lick everything?"

The Eleventh Doctor taps the boy on his shoulder to regain his attention. "Also, dress to impress." Ten smirks as he queries, "So, no bow ties then?" Taking the higher road, Eleven smiles tightly as he remarks, "Bow ties are cool." The Tenth Doctor gives a slight shake of his head while insisting, "No, they're not."

Eleven gives his former self a once over and observes, "They're cooler than trench coats." Ten shakes his head more emphatically this time. "Again…no, they're not." Eleven shifts in his seat as he tries to find a more comfortable position and mocks, "Yes they are, you look like Columbo. Are you going to solve a murder?" Ten sneers, "Only if you were the victim but by that point, I'd most likely be under suspicion. And you're one to talk about a person's wardrobe, you look like you just invented Flubber."

The boy's eyes end their ping-ponging back and forth between the two and he loudly clears his throat as he rubs his temples to try and rid himself of his sudden headache.

"Oh…yes, sorry about that," offers Eleven while looking chagrined. "Anyway, another way to win a girl's heart is through her stomach. And by that, I mean give her a sweet, not literally as through her abdominal cavity."

David's eyes widen in mock surprise as he dryly notes, "I'll try to remember that."

Ten eyes the Eleventh Doctor in suspicion. "Please tell me that you're not about to suggest fish fingers and custard." Eleven actually surprises the other two males by appearing to scoff at the very idea of one of his favorite treats. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous, this isn't about fulfilling a craving, no matter how exquisitely satisfying that fine fare may be, in fact save it for later to make on your first date, no this calls for a heartfelt gesture of romance, this calls for…Jammy Dodgers!"

Ten stares at him in disbelief. "Honestly, that's the best that you can do?" Eleven stares back at him in complete bafflement. "And what's wrong with it? It's a tremendous idea, sure to win the girl." Ten contemplates his suggestion for a moment before proclaiming, "Yes, I agree wholeheartedly, if she were five years old." He turns to his great-grandson. "She's not, is she?" David shakes his head no. "That's not tremendous; it's molto male, which is very bad." Eleven leans back with his arms crossed over his chest and inquires with rapt attention, "And what's your brilliant idea? Banana pudding pops? Or no…how about jam tarts, after all we all know how much you love tarts, particularly French ones."

Eleven offers his counterpart a glowing smile while Ten's gaze blazes with fury as he hisses, "Oh you just wait until I get all the dirt on you, you just wait. Once I meet your next incarnation, I'm going to butter him up like a roll!"

The Tenth Doctor takes a moment to sulk before dispensing one last piece of advice. "Poetry's nice too, a lovely bit of poetry will work wonders in wooing a girl's heart. I prefer Robert Frost's The Rose Family myself."

Eleven releases an unexpected cry of delight. "I can't believe it, finally, something that we both agree on! Although something that you've spun from your own heart can work a treat as well. How's this? Roses are jeopardly friendly, violets are blue, some things are best left unsaid, like does it really need saying and quite right too." He grins a little too brightly at Ten and questions eagerly, "So, what did you think? Nine helped me write it."

The Tenth Doctor's just about to lunge for the Eleventh when David pushes them apart. "Well, that was very helpful and I will definitely take all of your advice into consideration. Now if you'll please excuse me, I would like to go off and ponder these amazingly creative options that you've presented me with so that I don't have to appear as a witness in any future trial."

"What?" questions Ten as the boy walks away. "I end up on trial again?" He looks over to his next self for an answer but Eleven merely shrugs and mutters, "Spoilers." They both stare after the boy's retreating back and Eleven murmurs, "Some people, they're simply incapable of taking any advice." "Yeah," remarks Ten with a pout as he leans back into the couch and links his hands to cradle his head. "And I thought it was some pretty excellent advice, myself." "Quite right too," pipes Eleven to which Ten swiftly replies with a hard whack of the pillow to Eleven's face.

Nine soon walks over and joins the bickering duo while gesturing to the other side of the room where all three men simultaneously cast dubious gazes over to the corner where Jack is leaning down to accept something from Billie while she whispers in his ear, "Thanks for lending us your TARDIS key, Uncle Jack, it's been great fun using it! And he hasn't even noticed half of the stuff that's missing since he came back from visiting Mum!"

"Anytime, Doll," he assures her with a grin, "nobody should be locked out of the TARDIS when they need to get into it, especially if they're hanging on to the outside of it!"

"Oh…okay," mumbles Billie quizzically before quickly taking her leave as she notices the Doctors watching her.

Not bothered in the least by their lack of trust, Jack saunters over to the Time Lords and explains, "Cute kid, she wanted a few tips on boys."

"It better have been on what kind to avoid," mutters the Ninth Doctor as he shoots Jack a wary gaze.

Bearing a confused expression, Jack faces the three Doctors and quizzes, "Doctor, the kids and I have been chatting a bit and I've been wondering something."

Nine asks, "Oh yeah, and what's that?"

Jack says, "Well, I know why I lost my memories," sending a heated and pointed look directly at Ten, "but you've been here on this day eleven times. Why was each version of you so surprised at being asked to remain here with the kids?"

The three men all return Jack's stare with that same sad expression he remembers so well, the one usually indicating that he's an idiot. God he's missed them. "Harkness," denotes the Ninth Doctor, "think about it, lad. Obviously we blocked our memories."

When his countenance continues to appear bewildered, the Tenth Doctor adds, "Jack, if you had to live through this day eleven separate times, would you want to remember it?"

Jack nods his head sagely admits, "Fair point."

Ten gives Jack a suspicious look and mentions, "And I've been meaning to ask you something as well. How is that you arrived here without hitching a ride on the TARDIS?"

Jack pulls up his sleeve to reveal his Vortex Manipulator. "I used this."

Ten grits between clenched teeth, "Jack, I told you not to use this again! That's why I disabled it in the first place!"

Jack is unruffled by the chastisement and impertinently retorts, "Sorry, Doc, but I needed a ride and since the best one wasn't available," he waggles his eyebrows suggestively at all three Doctors, "I had to settle for second best."

Eleven promises, "Well, you won't have to settle for long. You're going back home via the TARDIS once we leave here and I'm disabling this time meddler once and for all." He reaches out for the manipulator when Jack grabs his arm with one hand and wags a disapproving finger at the Doctor with the other.

"Ah, ah, ah," tuts Jack reproachfully, "I don't think so. See the kids told me all about how they absconded with the TARDIS to Skaro and how you made them swear not to tell their mother anything about it."

Nine grunts, "You can't trust anybody these days! Those wretched little ankle biters weren't supposed to breathe a word of that fiasco to anyone!"

Jack exhibits a devilish grin as he consoles, "Don't blame them too much, Doc. After all, it's pretty hard to keep a secret from their Uncle Jack." They all shoot daggers at him until their jaws all simultaneously drop when Jack nonchalantly inquires, "So, Theta Sigma, huh? Cute Academy nickname, I have a nickname too but I'm guessing that you wouldn't want the kids to hear it," he remarks before tossing them a cheeky wink.

Ignoring the Doctors worried gazes of what other secrets the children might have let slip, Jack begins to gather all of the children around for story time. Ninehurriedly grabs Jack by the arm and warns, "Oi, watch it, Captain! I don't want the children to hear any stories about you ending up or starting out naked."

Jack rapidly denies this harsh accusation and in a hurtful tone asks, "Geez, they're kids, Doc, just what kind of guy do you take me for?" He then goes over to stand amidst the circle of children and announces, "Okay, kids, it's time to sit back and relax and listen to your old yet incredibly handsome and flexible Uncle Jack tell the story of The Emperor's New Clothes!" Nine and Ten both groan and give identical eye rolls while Eleven merely holds his arms out to his sides as if silently pleading, 'What can you do?'

Deciding that the sooner this story is over the better, the Eleventh Doctor yells out, "Alright, you hooligans, settle down, settle down! Now I want you all to sit quietly while the rest of us take a moment to catch our breath and monitor you lot. We're going to turn this day around from the chaotic mess it started out as to the Day of the Doctor! Alright? Good! Now everyone turn your attention to Jack and keep your clothes on!" He points at Jack. "Especially you, Harkness!"

A hush falls over the room as Jack begins recanting the old tale and the First Doctor brings out a pitcher of lemonade along with some finger sandwiches for refreshments and upon seeing all of the children listening with rapt attention to Jack's story, decides to take a short break and settles himself down onto the couch. A moment later he's unexpectedly jostled when Eleven plops down alongside him and offers him a wide grin. "Hello, there!" he greets as he crosses his legs and throws an arm onto the back of the couch.

The Eleventh Doctor releases a sigh of relief as he observes his great-grandchildren, for once all sitting quietly, attentive and serene and shakes his head in amusement. "It's funny when you think about it, isn't it?" he inquires of the First Doctor. "You look at this lot, botching every time and space experiment ever invented, stealing a TARDIS, terrorizing a planet full of Daleks, not to mention their creator to boot, and drawing all sorts of the wrong type of attention into their lives," as he gestures at Jack with a wry grin and sighs. "How in Rassilon's name are we expected to cope with this group of troublemakers when they each inherit their own TARDIS?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about them too much. After all, that's how we started, isn't it, hmmm?" replies the First Doctor with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Yes," agrees Eleven with his own chuckle, I suppose it is." He runs a hand through his hair with a weary hum and glances over at his younger counterpart. "So…any ideas on what we should do tomorrow to keep the children entertained?"

"I was planning on taking Matthew and Katy to the library but I haven't been able to find my library card," he remarks with a frustrated grimace.

"Oh, I have it right here," mentions the Eleventh Doctor, "but you might as well take it. I'm sure I'll find it again in the TARDIS when I need it."

"Thank you, my boy," accepts One as he tucks the card into his coat pocket. "I'm sure the children will have a lovely time. I spoke with the head librarian earlier and they're going to be showing a children's film called the Tenth Planet and I thought it might be good for a laugh." He roughly knocks a weathered old fist into the Eleventh Doctor's shoulder which he immediately starts rubbing. "Imagine thinking that there's only ten! My yes, these humans can be quite amusing, indeed!"

Appreciating the humor of the gest, Eleven acknowledges it with a quiet nod before turning his attention back to the scene before him. Jack is busy acting out each scene in full pantomime while imitating the characters voices in funny accents and the children love every moment of it. He scans the small gathering and notes each delighted smile, enraptured gaze, laughing grin and contemplative study of every sight and sound in the room, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and the wonder and joy that all of it combined manages to bring its participants. And it's not the children that he's watching for once; it's himself, all his other selves to be exact. The outpouring of love and emotion that shines from their eyes each time that they catch a particular expression on one of the children's faces or realize their potential, not as a Time Lord or Time Lady, not as a hero or heroine of a universe, but as the amazing and loving children that each version of him knows that they have the capacity to be, it makes each marvel of the universe that he has seen and all those that have yet to be discovered seem infinitesimal and for a moment, he could actually care less if he never experienced them again.

But then he comes back to himself and remembers that he is the Doctor after all and that he truly does hate domestic. For as crazy and unpredictable as his life can become at times, he wouldn't change a thing about it, not for one moment. He loves the excitement and adventure, the laughter and friendship, the good and the bad and knowing above all that there's always another place that he can call home to retire to when he needs to get away from all of it. He withdraws a crumpled crayon drawing of his current self riding a triceratops in Susan's backyard that he was recently given by Ian to remind him of this very thing and releases a huge grin. Yes, it is a manic life he lives indeed and he wants to share every minute of it with his family.

He catches the eyes of his Ninth and Tenth selves and knows that even without the aid of a innate or telepathic connection that they share the same sentiment. This life that they lead, with this family, it may be hard at times but it is generally a good life and one that makes him a better man. He'd even go so far and dare to say that it was fantastic and molto bene as he watches his two previous selves flashing approving smiles in his direction just before Nine aims a cautionary glance at him. He shakes his head slightly and releases a soft exasperated sigh. Because of course out all these things when it comes to his family, it maybe fantastic and even molto bene but it would never be at all sexy.

THE END

HAPPY 50TH ANNIVERSARY DOCTOR WHO! :)

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