Dear Doctor by CKLizzy
Summary: Rose has a life, a good life with a man who loves her. A man who looks like her Doctor, who thinks and talks and acts like him. And yet can't she just forget the man she met and fell in love with.
Categories: Tenth Doctor
Characters: Rose Tyler, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (Duplicate 10th)
Genres: Angst, Het, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Dear Doctor by CKLizzy
Chapter 6: Letter 6Author's Notes: Disclaimer: It all belongs to Russell T. Davies, Julie Gardener and BBC. People who invented River Song and Reinette are not part of it.
Messages on his psychic paper never meant anything good; so much he had learned in the past. New Earth, The Library, and all the other places he had went to after his psychic paper had told him to had turned out to be dangerous - holding an adventure that was normally life-threatening.
So he acted very suspicious when he arrived on the planet the paper had told him to travel to - the Venus in the 32nd century.
The Venus was what it was expected to be. A pleasure planet, ruled by women. Some also called it planet of the Amazons, although the women on the Venus were everything, just not warriors. Quite the contrary, being very aware of their effect on men, they used it shamelessly. They seduced men, but every gullible victim - and there were a lot of them - soon had to learn that these women didn't intend to bring the men pleasure. Not at all. The men were only tools for the women's own pleasure. More Sirens than Amazons.
The Doctor was none of these men. He was too old to be naïve, and had traveled too far to fall for sleights of hand. And he was too devastated to let himself get distracted by some superficial females.
The building he had been requested to come to lay in the center of the city. He knew it; he had been there before. It was more a temple than a real building; open to three sides, while the back was a wall of falling water. An oddly shaped pool caught the water; water beings called Leelans named it their home. It was them who had summoned him. The Leelans were something between nymphs and fairies, fragile and small, and they had been the original inhabitants of this planet. Unfortunately, not even the Doctor had been able to prevent the invaders who had taken over the planet from doing so. Just because it had been meant to happen; for whatever reason.
The fairie-nymphs lived in the waters of the planet; the Venusian water contained special ingredients they needed to survive, otherwise the Doctor would have already brought them to another planet. Instead, he had negotiated with the new rulers of Venus, helping the Leelans to get an own Charta of Rights so they wouldn't be enslaved or oppressed.
Now, from time to time, the Leelans called him to do him favors, as they were able to sense his needs after he had once, back during the celebration after the successful negotiations, formed a psychic link. It was only a weak link, but it was enough to tell the Leelans whenever their savior was sad.
When he approached the pool, one of the beings raised out of the water. Her delicate body glowed slightly; little droplets of water reflecting the light that fell into the temple made it sparkle. She smiled gently at the Doctor, and he returned the gestured, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Sadness and loneliness possesses our savior's heart. So we have a gift for him," the Leelan said, her voice like a soft melody, and reached out for the Doctor. He took her hand carefully, always afraid to hurt or break them as soon as he touched those beings.
Their link strengthened by the psychical contact, the Doctor suddenly received images. Images of his Rose. A collection of memories, of the wonders they had seen - he had seen in her. A tear rolled down his cheek, which was soon accompanied by another, and another. It were tears of sorrow, but also of joy, because the memories and images were so full of life that he almost thought he could touch them. Touch her.
In the end, they remained only images. But at least his heart had felt a bit lighter, and may it only have been for a short while. He said his goodbye with a smile - one that now reached his eyes - and turned to go, when the Leelans called him back. Before they vanished back into the water, they pointed to a small altar.
And upon this altar, next to a single pink rose, lay another envelope.
For some time now, Julian and I have been trying to get pregnant. Well, I've been trying to, but you know what I mean. We want to have a baby; to prove our love, to make it visible, and because we want to be a real family. And who knows, maybe he or she would become a genius just like the father. Wouldn't that be cute?
Mum's absolutely excited about the idea; and so is Tony. He might be still very young, but he understood what I told him about being an uncle, and being responsible for his niece or nephew. He is of course thrilled by the idea of having a little playmate.
I wish I could tell him that he will have this playmate soon. But we're experiencing problems. The doctors we've consulted say we're both healthy and there shouldn't be any problems for us getting children. Yet nothing has happened so far.
According to Julian, it is possible for me getting pregnant from him. It... it also would have been possible with you, while you're another species, and since he is half-human, the chances should be even better. Bet we're trying and trying and... still no success.
My gynecologist said that maybe I'm too fixated on getting pregnant and that I put my body under stress with it so I don't conceive. But by now, we're a bit afraid that there might by also other complications no one can think of or detect.
We've already talked about in vitro fertilization, although that will be one of the last possibilities to consider. There are many ways to get pregnant, and though we would like to do it the natural way, we're ready to try everything should it turn out that it won't work the normal way.
I'm afraid we're getting too desperate, that our desire to have a child covers something we simply won't admit. But the desperation we share also is one we've both always felt, for such a long time. Means, he - you - already felt when we were still traveling together. Raising a child, a family.
Oh, Doctor. Just imagine we would have been able to show our child all those wonders out there. The whole universe, the whole of time and space his or her playground. Our child could have given the universe so much. And your race maybe the chance to start anew. Now we'll never know.
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