{back pages} by Biichan

Summary: Assorted ficlets, done at assorted points in time. (Rated Teen as it's a mix of All Ages and more adult concepts.)
Rating: Teen
Categories: First Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Other Era, Multi-Era
Characters: Barbara Wright, Frobisher, Frobisher, Ian Chesterton, Jamie McCrimmon, Martha Jones, Other Character(s), Other Character(s), Other Character(s), Susan Foreman, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (1st), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (Academy era), Barbar
Genres: Femslash, Slash
Warnings: Explicit Sex
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2008.02.21
Updated: 2009.07.19


Chapter 1: Guided Tour (Martha/Zoe)
Chapter 2: Magic Brownie (Barbara, Ian, Martha, Ten)
Chapter 3: July 21st, 2007 (Martha, Susan, One, Ten)
Chapter 4: Reliving One's Youth (Six/Jamie)
Chapter 5: Sex Without Violins (Six/Frobisher)
Chapter 6: This Will Be On The Examination (Theta/Ushas/Koschei, Drax, Braxiatel)
Chapter 7: And Kittens Make... (Barbara, Ian, One)

Chapter 1: Guided Tour (Martha/Zoe)

Author's Notes: Written for lifeonmartha's 1000 Drabbles of Awesome.

"I'm awfully glad you decided to join us here," said Miss Zoe Heriot as she lead Martha into the Wheel's infirmary. "I've read about your work in xenobiology. You practically invented the field!"

Martha chuckled. "I wouldn't say I invented it. Mostly I was just the first person to practice it openly, without being part of a government conspiracy."

"Oh, of course," said Zoe. "The Torchwood Institute. Do you know, there are people who don't believe it existed?"

"Oh, it did," said Martha. "I knew the man who ran it." She glanced down. "I wish I hadn't had to take this post. I knew Gemma Corwyn--she was a good doctor."

"She was," said Zoe. "If it hadn't been for those awful Cybermen...well, at least the Doctor and his friend Jamie were there to help keep the entire Wheel from going under." She bit her lip. "I would have liked to go with them, I think."

Martha took her hand. "I understand," she said quietly. "I met the Doctor when I hardly any older than you. I even traveled with him for a while. But there's work to be done here too. Important work."

Zoe squeezed Martha's hand. "You're right," she said decisively. "Besides," she said. "If I'd stowed aboard his ship like I'd planned to I might have never been able to meet you!"

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Chapter 2: Magic Brownie (Barbara, Ian, Martha, Ten)

Author's Notes: Written for lifeonmartha's 1000 Drabbles of Awesome.

“And then,” said Ian, “I climbed into the Dalek! Only it was hollow. Cos they’d took the blobby bit out. And I was IAN THE DALEK.”

Barbara giggled. “He did,” she confirmed. “Startled the blood… it was WEIRD. He was all…” She suddenly turned and pulled the afghan off the sofa, then ran off toward the kitchen.

Martha snickered. “I met a Dalek. He looked like he had a tentacle demon on his head.”

Ian frowned. “Tentacle demon?”

“They… um…” Martha frowned. “They’re things. Thingies. They’ve got a lot of thingies. And people make pornography with them. I’d show you some but the Doctor left it back on the TARDIS.”

Ian started laughing hysterically. “Pornography! On the TARDIS! The Doctor’s a dirty old man!”

“Oi!” said the alien in question. “Those were Turlough’s, not mine!”

This only made Ian laugh harder. When Barbara reappeared, afghan thrown over her head and plunger in hand, yelling “EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!!” Martha joined him.

The Doctor frowned and looked at the nearly empty pan of brownies. “I don’t understand,” he said to himself. “All I did was add cannabis leaves for extra spice.”

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Chapter 3: July 21st, 2007 (Martha, Susan, One, Ten)

Author's Notes: Written for lifeonmartha's 1000 Drabbles of Awesome

“Did you download the leaked book?” Martha asked the girl next to her in line for the Harry Potter Midnight Release.

The girl shook her head. “Grandfather did, though–and then he managed to spoil me for everything. I should have never let him read my copy of Philosopher’s Stone.”

Martha nodded. “I had a friend who was just like that–only he had the book itself, it’s a long story–and he couldn’t understand why I wanted to wait to read it when everyone else did.”

“Just like Grandfather!” the girl exclaimed. “How funny! Is he here with you?”

Martha nodded. “He’s off getting us coffee somewhere. Let me see if I can find him.” She frowned slightly as she surveyed the crowd. “Aha! There!” She pointed at the Doctor, who seemed to be in an animated conversation with a white-haired old man.

“Oh, he is fit,” the girl said approvingly. “That’s Grandfather he’s talking to–I wonder what they’re saying…”


“Have you any idea what danger you’re posing to the timeline, young man?” the Doctor said, nudging his older self in the stomach with the head of his cane. “Hmmm?”

“Oh shove off,” the other Doctor said. “It’s only a book release. Besides,” he added wistfully. “It’s been an age since I’ve seen Susan.”

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Chapter 4: Reliving One's Youth (Six/Jamie)

Author's Notes: Amy_wolf requested mini-fic and I was happy to oblige.

"I was always fond of your traditional views of appropriate undergarments for use under kilts," the Doctor said once they were alone. "I hope you don't mind me taking liberties, Jamie, but it has been so many centuries since I've seen you."

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Chapter 5: Sex Without Violins (Six/Frobisher)

Author's Notes: Written at sizeofthatthing for the prompt: Six/Frobisher. Sex that incorporates shape-shifting, but not Frobisher turning into a female companion or other attractive woman. NSFW.

“Well,” said Frobisher, “I probably should change back from being a penguin.”

“You don't have to,” the Doctor said quickly.

Frobisher shook his head. “Nah, Doc, I think I probably should. Cloacas can make things awkward when the other person doesn't have one.”

The Doctor nodded sagely. “Hence why you became an penguin for Francine.”

“Something like that,” said Frobisher, who was melting into his default form: a pale yellow humanoid form, quite short, his face featureless. Unlike his usual appearance, this version of him wore glasses. He was still naked, though.

The Doctor glanced between his legs. “Frobisher...?”

“Yeah, Doc?”

“You don't seem to have any genatalia.”

Frobisher laughed. “I'm a Whifferdill, Doc. I can grow whatever parts you like. Lemme show you.”

“Hmm,” said the Doctor, kneeling down to better inspect Frobisher's newly grown cock and balls. “Yes, I can see where that would be an advantage. Do you mind if I...?”

“Huh? No, go right ahead, Doc.”

“Thank you, Frobisher.”

Oh yeah, thought Frobisher, as the Doctor started humming around his cock. He'd figured the Doctor would be good with his mouth. Maybe next they could do it with Frobisher taking the Doctor's shape. He was pretty sure the Doctor would get off on fucking himself–and if not, Frobisher would definitely get off on fucking the Doctor as the Doctor. And then afterwards, he'd have the TARDIS make a fish for him in the bath and have a nice post-coital hunt.

Yeah, life was good.

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Chapter 6: This Will Be On The Examination (Theta/Ushas/Koschei, Drax, Braxiatel)

Author's Notes: Written at sizeofthatthing for the prompt: How they done sex on Gallifrey. My brain is full of crack, as you may have noticed. NSFW.

In their thirteenth year at the academy, the students spent an entire six-month learning about the Gallifreyan Rites of Sexual Congress. This was not an elective. In fact, all the students of their year were required to attend the various and sundry lectures and demonstrations. Even Koschei, Theta Sigma, and Ushas, who would have much rather spent their time plotting on how to smuggle Shobogan whiskey into the student quarters.

“This is ridiculous,” Theta whispered to Koschei. “Do they really have to spend the better part of ten minutes on the Disrobing?”

“It's to bore us to tears so we fall asleep and end up failing our exams,” Koschei said lazily, refolding his legs to a less cramped position.

Quiet,” Ushas hissed. “And pay attention, you fools. I want to do this one on the practical and I don't want to get a failing grade just because the two of you were spending all your time babbling about inanities.”

“I don't see why we're doing a three-person exercise in the first place,” Theta said under his breath. “The two-person ones are much simpler.”

“Because,” Koschei said under his breath, “if we did that, someone would have to pair up with Drax.”

Theta shuddered. “I see your point.”

Ushas jabbed him with her elbow. “I thought I told you, be quiet.


The configuration they'd chosen was this: Ushas would straddle Theta, while Koschei would take her from the back. Koschei suspected she'd chosen this one because it would make her the focal point of the exercise and hence the one that their examiners would pay most attention to. Koschei would have been flattered he'd been given the second-most important part, if he didn't suspect it was an excuse for her and Theta to spend hours of practice looking intently into each other's eyes.

Theta, thought Koschei jealously, had been his best friend first.

Drax, unfortunately, had to become involved. Someone needed to beat the drum in time to their thrusts and Runcible had backed out, supposedly because their exam date conflicting with some stupid trip of the Audio/Visual/Spacio-Temporal Club. Drax wasn't even that good of a drummer, Koschei thought bitterly. He always ended up losing track of the rhythm.

Ushas decided they needed supervision from a prefect, so she brought Braxiatel to one of their practice sections to watch. This resulted in Theta threatening to quit on them, until Ushas informed him that if he did she'd ask Drax to take his place. That shut Theta right up. Annoying older brother watching or not, having Drax take his place–even if it was the easy part–was a sure recipe for a failing grade.

(And Theta would know, Braxiatel had said with a smirk, which had led to Koschei laughing his arse off. Really, Brax wasn't all that bad, even if he was unbearably stuffy sometimes. And he'd managed to grow himself a rather admirable moustache, which Koschei–still smooth-faced–rather envied.)

They got better, eventually. Even Drax learned to keep a beat. And when it came time for Koschei, Theta, and Ushas to take their exam, they did so with full confidence and neatly embroidered robes.


It was the first–and only–Triple Alpha that Theta Sigma got his entire time at the Academy.

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Chapter 7: And Kittens Make... (Barbara, Ian, One)

Author's Notes: Written for livii's LJ baby shower.

When they told the Doctor, he was very quiet at first. Barbara thought they ought to have expected it. After all, they'd just informed him that in another seven months or so they'd have an extra person aboard the TARDIS, albeit a very small one.

"Is everything quite all right?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Hmm? Oh. Oh yes. I was just thinking of how Susan would have loved to be here for this. She always hoped that you would have kittens someday. She'd even thought up names for them." He sounded so wistful, she almost felt bad about correcting him.

"Human children are called babies, Doctor," she said, gently. "Not kittens."

"Are they? Hmm. Well, you do seem to have taken your time about it. I'd have thought the two of you would have started to reproduce ages ago. After all, I was very careful to find dear Susan a breeding pair."

It was at about this point that Ian started shouting and Barbara started wishing they'd never mentioned it in the first place.

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