Double, Double, Doctor and Trouble by Clarissa

Summary: A quiet afternoon for the Doctor and Rose becomes an adventure when the Doctor runs into a case of mistaken identity.
Rating: All Ages
Categories: Tenth Doctor
Characters: Rose Tyler, The Doctor (10th)
Genres: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Romance
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2007.05.07
Updated: 2007.05.23


Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I really didn't intend to write another crossover so soon, but a conversation with timesup gave me this plot bunny.
This story is set between Tooth and Claw and School Reunion.
Disclaimer: Sadly, the characters of this fic do not belong to me. Shame, really.

The Doctor watched as the army approached. Their lines surged forward, in a seemingly endless stream. As usual, he was more curious than concerned; he didn't even bother to stand. In fact, he seemed mostly amused by the nearing group and rightly so. For all their numbers, the army just wasn't intimidating. Maybe it was because the Doctor wasn't in any danger. His plate of fish 'n' chips was a different story. After all, it was an army of ants.

Leaning back, he turned to his left. "This picnic was a brilliant idea. I can't believe we haven't done it before now."

"To be fair, Doctor, we usually don't have the time to sit in the sun doing nothin' without somethin' large and possibly slimy chasing us," said Rose.

He flashed her a huge grin. "Aw, but that's half the fun in life."

"True," she giggled. "Something tells me Mickey's mystery won't be nearly as relaxing. Did I tell you he's got us jobs at that school?"

"Already prepared," said the Doctor, reaching into his jacket pocket. He pulled out his time-worn wallet and flipped it open. "Doctor John Smith, teacher of physics, at your service."

Rose squinted at the paper. "Very nice, but you might want to take off the part where it says 'satsuma expert.'"

"Let me see that," he said, turning the wallet around. He glanced at it, then closed his eyes in concentration for a moment. "There. All fixed. That's enough about tomorrow for the moment. Let's go back to the chips."

"So you're likin' our not-so-proper picnic?"

"Oh, I think fish 'n' chips definitely beats out any boring traditional picnic food, like sandwiches."

"Especially when you can nip back in time and get them from a chippie when they still served 'em wrapped in newspaper."

"Nothing wrong with that-- where would I be without a few cheap tricks?"

"Still be my Doctor," she said, smiling.

* * * *

They stayed there for quite a while, watching the clouds.

"See that one?" said Rose, pointing. "Just like that werewolf we saw."

"Oh, I don't know. Could be a clown that's hunched over a bit."


"Well, they both make equally scary cloud formations in my opinion."

"Oh really?"

"Sure. Think about it-- they both change from a fairly mundane human being to something that often terrifies young children."

The Doctor turned to her, the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile. Rose smirked back in response, then gazed back up at the sky.

"Yeah well, speakin' of scary, I don't think those clouds look too friendly at the moment." She pointed to a line of much darker clouds heading their way quite quickly.

"Oh, a little rain never hurt anyone."

As if to respond, a jagged fork of lightning flashed down from the clouds.

"On the other hand, lightning can do some damage. Let's get inside to some shelter," said the Doctor.

He grabbed her hand, and they both started running toward the nearest shelter-- a large old castle, perched on a small hill. As they ran, fat drops of icy rain splattered them, soaking them completely. Rose shivered as she hurried along, trying to keep pace with the Doctor. Slipping and sliding across the muddy field, they made their way to a gargantuan door in one side of the castle.

"Do you think anyone's home?" she asked.

"Only one way to find out," he said with a wink.

He knocked on the door, but the sound seemed to get swallowed up by the deafening claps of thunder.

"Don't think we're going to get an invitation inside with that racket going on," he said.

Pulling out the sonic screwdriver, he went to work on the lock.

"Fancying a bit of breakin' and enterin'?" asked Rose.

He look up sharply but saw the mischievous spark in her eyes. "Where's that spirit of adventure? Left it behind with our soggy chips?"

"No way. Could do with some hot chips about now, though-- drive away some of this chill."

The Doctor turned off the sonic screwdriver and gently pushed the door. It creaked loudly and opened slightly.

"Let's find out if they've got any."

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Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Thank you to timesup for reading this first.

The hall was completely stone, with ornate carvings in some of the walls. A suit of armor stood up against the wall. Stone pedestals held up small fires that lit the length of the hall with a dancing light.

"I feel like I'm in a museum, 'cept without all the ropes and display cases," said Rose.

"Strange," the Doctor murmured.


"Well, this place looks as though it's still in residential use, but I can't find any sign of modern technology for the early 21st century. Not one electric appliance. Any castle these days has got some electric lights, even if it's just the gift shop. If you go tour Alnwick's living quarters, there's even a television. But here there's nothing."

"Are you sure it's not just a well-kept display or something?"

"Positive. There's too many little things-- the faint smell of food hanging in the air, some cloaks hanging to dry over there, and I've just got one of those gut feelings."

"Well, then. Looks like our kind of place-- perfectly normal on the surface but chock full of mysteries when you look a bit closer."

"Too right," said the Doctor. A familiar, almost manic, grin spread across his face. "Tell you what. While we're drying off in here, we can poke around and see if we can't find our potentially gracious hosts."

He led Rose down one of the corridors. "You check that room, and I'll have a quick look down the hallway."

She opened the door and stepped inside the dusty room. It looked like an old fashioned schoolroom to her, something she'd seen in one of those period dramas on television. Rose froze for a moment; she could hear the Doctor talking with someone. Creeping softly back to the doorway, she peered out the keyhole.

* * * *

The place looked fairly harmless, but in the Doctor's experience, that wasn't really a reliable method for detecting danger. His eyes swept every inch of the corridor, searching for any clues as to why he got such an odd feeling about this place. He knew it wasn't the abandoned castle it seemed to be on the outside, but what was it? Looking up again, the Doctor noticed he had company, and it appeared he wouldn't be meeting the friendliest of the castle's residents. The pale man looked as though he'd seen a ghost of a person he'd missed out on throttling in life.

"Hello there. Terribly sorry to have torn you away from your favorite Bram Stoker novel. I hope you don't mind my looking around. Lovely place you've got here; I like the armor. Gives the place that medieval touch. I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?"

"It can't be," seethed the man. "I saw you after the kiss-- you were soulless!"

"Really? Who am I supposed to have had this terrible snog with? I can't imagine it could be that bad."

"You really have gone mad, Crouch. If the dementor's kiss didn't take your soul, it's sent your mind round the twist."

"Sorry, my name's not Crouch," said the Doctor. "And who are you? The ghost of Queen Victoria, come back to haunt me? You've got the black outfit; that's half the look right there."

"It's Snape, you lunatic," said the man, brandishing a long wooden stick.

"Look, it's fine to call me a lunatic-- you wouldn't be the first-- but do you have to wave that stick? You know how it goes. Sticks and stones-- those are the dangerous bits." He shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. "I don't know what it is you think I've done to you, but why is that boy over there looking at me like I've taken the last Jammie Dodger and not picked up a new package?"

Snape turned slightly and looked to his left. A boy of about 15 peered out from behind a suit of armor. It appeared Snape didn't like this new face any more than he liked the Doctor. The Doctor couldn't fault him for trying to escape the attention of the sour-faced man, but he looked old enough to handle himself.

"Potter! What are you doing here?"

"I finished my lunch early and decided to join Hermione in the library."

"Come on out then," said the Doctor. "No need to hide over there. I don't smell that bad, do I?"

He sniffed his sodden jacket. "Well, maybe I do, but it can't be worse than a wet dog or something."

That remark caught Snape's attention once more. "I'd be very interested in how you came to be in this castle, Crouch."

"That's not my name. And how d'you think? I was under the impression that the door was a fantastic way to enter a place."

"That's enough," said Snape. "Hand over your wand."

"I can't say that I've got one of those, but I might have some Jelly Babies in my pockets somewhere. Will they do instead? Haven't eaten them for ages-- they might be a couple hundred years old at this point, but maybe they're still good."

The Doctor chanced a glance over at the door to the room where he'd left Rose. He could feel her eyes on him and knew that she wanted to rush out and help. As his gaze swept past the keyhole, he shook his head almost imperceptibly. Rose had the advantage of surprise, and he wasn't ready to lose that just yet. She'd be annoyed later, but he knew she'd stay hidden for him, if only for a little bit longer.

"Professor? He doesn't seem to be acting like Crouch at all."

"I don't need lessons from you on how to recognize Death Eaters, Potter."

"You wouldn't, would you?" the boy said darkly.

As the two argued, the Doctor began to slowly back away from them. He'd almost gotten to the junction of another hallway, when the two strangers noticed him again. Snape's face twisted with suspicion and annoyance as he pointed the stick at the Doctor and shouted, "Stupefy!"

A beam of red light shot out of the stick and struck the Doctor in the chest. He recoiled from the blow, then looked up. "What was that for? I didn't do anything to hurt you!"

"Impossible," said Snape. "No one can take a stunning spell like that with so little an effect."

He drew back his hand and shouted, "Stupefy!" once again. This time it brought the Doctor to his knees.

"Oi! That hurt!" the Doctor yelled. "Look, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding. I only came in to get out of the rain, and for some reason, I don't think this is the proper way to welcome a stranger seeking a bit of shelter."

Snape's pale face was full of rage. He stalked closer to the Doctor. "That's enough, Crouch. We'll see what Dumbledore can get out of you."

"Oh, do I get to meet your boss? Fantastic. I love meeting new people, with the exception of you. No offense of course."

Quietly, Snape raised his wand a third time and sent another "Stupefy!" at the Doctor. This time, he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

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Chapter 3: Chapter 3

She'd understood the Doctor's signal, but seeing him fall to the ground helpless... It was as if wild horses were pulling her in two different directions. She knew why the Doctor wanted her to remain hidden; they'd have a better chance of getting out if one of them could creep around unseen. At the same time, though, she desperately wanted to run out and make sure he was ok.

As Rose wrestled with her two choices, she saw Snape point that terrible stick at the Doctor again and say, "Locomotor corpus." She watched as the Doctor's body rose in the air until it was floating beside the man.

"Potter. Run along and fetch the Headmaster. Tell him I will be in the Hospital Wing with our intruder."

The boy looked like he wanted to argue with the professor but then thought better of it. He turned and scrambled down the corridor, as the sour-faced professor stalked down the hall in the opposite direction. The Doctor's floating body followed him.

Rose turned, and leaning against the door, slid down to the floor. It wouldn't do to panic, but what could she do? Staying close to the Doctor sounded appealing. At least that way, she'd know where to find him if she found a way out. Standing up, she cautiously peeked out the door, and seeing no one, headed in the same direction as Snape.

* * * *

She crept along the cold hallway, nearly hugging the stone wall. It was bad enough that the Doctor had been caught; Rose didn't want to take any chances. Following Snape and the Doctor at a bit of a distance, she kept sight of them while desperately trying to keep track of how to get back out to the main door.

No one seemed to be around in the corridors, and the quiet was rather spooky. Rose shivered, remembering the chase they'd had with the werewolf up and down a different set of old hallways.

Turning the corner, she realized she'd lost Snape. What am I goin' to do now? The Doctor needs me to be clever and get us out.

She hurried to the next corner, hoping she wasn't too far behind, not even pausing to look around the corner to make sure it was clear. All of the sudden, she hit something hard that sent her sprawling on the ground. Pressing one hand to her forehead, Rose sat up. In front of her, another girl lay on the floor in much the same position. She sat up as well, her silver-colored eyes wide. Brushing a strand of scraggly blond hair out of her face, she looked curiously at Rose.

"You should look out when you turn corners. I could have been a Crumple-Horned Snorkack lurking in the shadows." She paused. "Have I met you before? You don't look like a student."

Startled that the girl didn't seem to be the least bit alarmed by literally running into a stranger in a dark corridor, Rose just looked at her for a few moments before answering, "No, we haven't met. I'm Rose."

"I'm Luna. It's very lovely to meet you, though I must say, you remind me of someone I know. It's just something in your eyes, I think."

"Really?" Rose asked nervously.

"Yes," said Luna, as she absently fiddled with an earring. "Professor Lupin. You don't know him, do you? He's got an air of wolf around him as well, but he's a good wolf. You're just as good, I think, but the word just doesn't seem to fit. It's not right, of course, but your aura says--"

"Bad Wolf," Rose said softly, but sharply. "Story of my life, but how do you see that about me?"

"Most people don't look so closely at others; they miss the little details on the corners, on the wind..." She trailed off, looking dreamily in the distance.

Rose thought for a moment, then decided to forge ahead. "So, what you're sayin' is that you know I'm a good person, even if the word doesn't fit me just right?"

Luna nodded slowly.

"Then can you help me? My friend's in trouble, and I need to be there for him."

* * * *

Snape approached the Hospital Wing, an air of perpetual annoyance in his wake. Still unconscious, the Doctor's body floated beside him. Professor Dumbledore and Harry Potter stood waiting. Snape guided the floating Doctor over to one of the hospital beds and slowly undid the levitation.

"Here he is, Headmaster," said Snape, frowning slightly. "I don't know how he got in; he insisted he'd just walked through the door."

"He may have done just that. After all, who would expect it?" said Dumbledore.

"But Professor, he wasn't acting like Crouch at all. He didn't seem to know who Professor Snape was talking about," said Harry.

"Clearly an attempt to catch us off guard or curry some sympathy," said Snape.

"You don't understand. The Crouch I saw at the tournament was really bonkers and had no problem talking about serving Voldemort. Not to mention he certainly doesn't look like someone who's been kissed by a dementor. This man... if I didn't know better, I'd say he sounded like a Muggle."

Dumbledore frowned. "How do you mean?"

"I mean..." Harry thought for a moment. "When Professor Snape mentioned the kiss, this man thought he meant a snog. Then he was going on about Jammie Dodgers and Jelly Babies. Those are Muggle sweets-- a pure-blood wizard who thinks Muggles are scum wouldn't even know what they are, let alone refer to them in conversation."

"Is this true, Professor Snape?"

"I'll admit he did say some odd things, but that is no reason to clear him of suspicion."

"Perhaps his pockets will yield some clues as to his identity," mused Dumbledore.

With a flick of Dumbledore's wand, the Doctor's pockets began turning themselves inside out. A variety of objects floated out and landed on a nearby table. The three wizards gathered around the table to examine them. It was an odd assortment of items, worthy of any 9-year-old's treasure trove. An odd silver cylindrical tube lay next to a battered wallet, a yo-yo, a banana, an ancient packet of Jelly Babies, a pair of 3-D glasses and a squashed paper hat from a Christmas cracker. Harry picked up the tube and flicked a switch on its side.

"What is that, some sort of wand?" asked Snape.

"Hardly, Professor Snape. It looks like it's a Muggle torch with a blue bulb in the end. They use them to light up corners, you know, instead of Lumos."

Snape picked up the wallet and opened it. "Doctor John Smith, teacher of physics, Deffry Vale High School."

"That just proves it even more. All these things-- they're Muggle items. This," Harry said, picking up the yo-yo, "is a sort of toy. And you wear these to see special kinds of films at the cinema."

He looked up at Snape and Dumbledore. "Nothing about him looks like a wizard at all. He's got a Muggle flashlight and toys he might have gotten off his students at the Muggle school where he apparently works."

Dumbledore nodded. "The evidence does seem to be overwhelming. Before we make any final conclusions, I will send an owl to Azkaban and have them check the cells to make sure Barty Crouch is still in their custody."

"Thank you, Professor," said Harry.

"And now, Professor Snape, Mr. Potter, if you would return to your classes, I will have Madam Pomfrey look after our guest."

Dumbledore nodded to a woman dressed in a crimson and white uniform, and the three left the room. She walked over to the Doctor's bed and stood over him, diagnosing his condition.

Murmuring a few standard monitoring charms, she noticed something odd. Finite Incantatem, she muttered. Then she recast the spells. Noticing the same problem, she placed her wand in the pocket of her apron and gently put a hand on his chest. A moment later, she jumped back in surprise. The Doctor was still lying down, eyes closed, and breathing regularly. She'd felt two distinct thumps on either side of her hand, though. It was impossible. He couldn't have two hearts, could he? Dumbledore had just said they thought he was a Muggle...

Before she could think about it any more, there was a loud bang outside the Hospital Wing doors, followed by a rainbow-colored cloud of smoke and some dangerous-looking sparks.

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Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Author's Notes: The conclusion...

Rose crept down the hall with Luna.

"Do you have a plan, then?" asked Rose.

"Harry might be willing to help if we could get him alone, but I don't know if we can manage that," said Luna. "But no matter. If we find the right Gryffindors to help, we'll be all right."

"What do you mean, Gryffindors?"

"It's a school house. I'm in Ravenclaw, but I think I know a couple of Gryffindors whose hearts will be in the right place. The other Ravenclaws might think I was making it up-- they're very smart but not so perceptive. They wouldn't even listen to me about nargles at holiday time. I don't usually mind very much, but since this is so important..."

"So what are we going to ask these Gryffindors to do?"

Luna smiled. "What they like to do best, of course."

* * * *

Madam Pomfrey rushed outside to investigate and followed the continued around the corner, following the loud noises as the receded in the distance down the long corridor. She could see plumes of smoke, in red, yellow, and blue filling the hallway. It didn't look quite so bad as it had sounded, and she turned to go back to the Hospital Wing. Trying to pick up one foot, she found that she couldn't-- it was stuck to a massive swath of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum bubbles. Looking up again, she saw that the direction she'd come from was now blocked by a large Licorice Wand fence. A prank! And just when she had a mysterious patient to examine. Pulling out her wand, she attempted some dissolving charms on the gum, but it only made the sticky substance change colors. She continued her attempts to banish the gum, with little success.

Around the corner, two tall red-headed boys grinned as they slapped high-fives. "We must remember to thank Luna for the idea," said one of them. "I've been wanting to test out our Sweet Snare."

* * * *

Rose burst into the Hospital Wing, and, seeing the Doctor stretched out on a bed, rushed over to him. She swept his unconscious frame into a tight hug.

"No prizes for squeezing me into a pancake," said a sleepy voice.

Rose pulled back, a huge smile spreading across her face. "Oh, Doctor, I was so worried! They zapped you with that stick and you didn't move, even when they floated you in the air."

She pulled him close again. He slowly lifted one arm to hug her back, while stroking her hair with the other hand. "It's all right, Rose. I'm here and ok."

"But I thought we were on Earth-- how could they zap you like that then?"

"I'm not sure-- I haven't exactly had time to poke around. Perhaps we've stumbled into a sort of cult with advanced technology." He sat up straighter. "We should get moving, in case they come back."

"We've got a little time. I found some help to get them out of the room for a while."

"Fantastic." He swung his feet around the side of the bed and stood up. Almost immediately, he started falling over again, and Rose stepped closer to hold him up.

"It's all right-- just have to get land legs again. That floating you mentioned seems to have thrown off my equilibrium." Gingerly, he took a few small steps. "There we are. Good to go. Now, how do we get out?"

"Luna's going to take us back to the door."


"She got some friends of hers to make a distraction so I could get in here. We didn't want to confuse you right off with another new face, so she's waiting outside."

"Let's not keep her waiting, then."

Scooping up his belongings from the table, he smiled. "Hope I confused them with this lot. Doesn't look like anything's missing."

He began walking to the door with a spring in his step. "See? Just needed a moment. All better now."

As they reached the door, Luna peeked around the doorframe. "They're coming back. We need to go-- if we run into Professor Snape, he'll be angrier than a nargle without its mistletoe."

The Doctor nodded gravely, and the three hurried down the corridor. They stopped at a statue of a one-eyed witch, and Luna tapped it with her wand, saying, "Dissendium." A passageway opened up behind the statue, and they dived inside moments before four figures walked past.

"Feeling better, Madam Pomfrey?" asked Dumbledore.

"Yes, but those Weasley twins will be the death of me."

They stopped at the entrance to the Hospital Wing. The doors were open, and the room appeared empty, with the exception of an owl. It flew over to Dumbledore, offering him the letter tied to its talon.

"He was passed out cold a moment ago-- it shouldn't be possible for him to have recovered enough to make a run for it," said Madam Pomfrey.

"What does your letter say, Professor?" asked Harry.

Dumbledore looked up, lost in thought. "It appears that Mr. Crouch is indeed at Azkaban and completely soulless. The man who was here could not have been him."

"Could he have been Polyjuiced to look like Crouch?" asked Harry.

"No," sputtered Snape angrily. "I saw him for more than an hour straight. It would have worn off."

"So he was just a confused Muggle?"

"It appears so," said Dumbledore.

"There's just one other thing, Headmaster," said Madam Pomfrey. "When I went to examine him, there was something very strange about his physiology. The diagnostic charms were acting very strange, so I went to take his pulse the Muggle way-- and I would swear I felt two distinct heartbeats from either side of his chest."

"That's impossible," said Harry. "I mean, with Muggles and wizards, neither has two hearts, so what could he be? An alien?"

"Quite a fanciful explanation, Harry. Sometimes life is unexplainable by science or magic. We may never know, but I wouldn't be terribly concerned. It's much more likely that either Madam Pomfrey, despite her skills, made a mistake or that our visitor had some sort of health condition that gave the appearance of two heartbeats." He walked over to the window and stared at the sky. "Still Harry, as you have discovered, anything is possible."

* * * *

"Rose and I, we can't thank you enough," said the Doctor.

"You needed help. And Rose seemed very trustworthy."

"How did you know that? We could have been a couple of nutters; I might have been taken away by those people for a good reason," said the Doctor.

"It was her aura and her protectiveness of you. Those who exude evil rarely care about the safety of another, even an ally. They just want something from them. Rose could easily have stolen whatever possessions of yours she wanted and not woken you up at all. But she didn't even notice your things; I saw her face from the doorway. As soon as you woke, she looked as though someone had handed her the world."

Hearing Luna's unselfconscious description of her reaction to the Doctor, Rose felt a blush creeping over her cheeks. Luna continued, "You can't hide evil, but you can't hide love either."

By now, the Doctor was fidgeting as well. "What do you mean by her aura?"

"The contrast in nature. The Bad Wolf who fights to be good."

The Doctor's eyes widened at that revelation, but Rose softly touched his arm and whispered, "It's ok; don't worry about it."

Clearing his throat, the Doctor said, "All right, lovely to escape from captivity with you, but we'd best be off. Will you be all right, Luna?"

"Oh, yes. We're not a fortress here or anything. It's just a school; they've got hundreds of students to keep track of-- no one will even know I helped."

"Right then, we'll be off," said the Doctor.

They turned to walk back to the TARDIS through the muddy field. Rose stopped and looked back, but Luna had already gone.

"Maybe this next school will be easier-- no people zapping you with sticks or acting all crazy," said Rose.

"Either way, we'll work out a plan together. Don't want you to have to rescue me too often," said the Doctor, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked. "Might get too routine. Let's vow never to get boring."


"Oh, I've just remembered."


"We never did ask about their chips."

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

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