Aliens, Arguments, Showers, and Slime by Settiai

Summary: It's always easiest to blame Owen.
Rating: All Ages
Categories: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato
Genres: Femslash
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2008.06.09
Updated: 2008.06.09

Aliens, Arguments, Showers, and Slime by Settiai
Chapter 1: 1/1
Author's Notes:
Written for whoniverse1000 .

Gwen yanked off her slime-covered jacket as she followed Owen into the Hub, glaring at his back the entire way. Her hair was covered in purple slime as well, and trails of it kept sliding down her face. "This is all your fault."

He spun around to gape at her. "My fault?" he repeated. "How the hell is any of this my fault?"

"Think about it." She shoved the jacket into his hands, smirking when it hit his shirt and squelched noisily.

Owen shot her a dirty look. He pulled the jacket away, grimacing at the purple stain it had left on his clothes. "How the hell was I supposed to know it would explode when I shot it?"

Ianto pushed past them both, deftly grabbing the jacket from Owen's hands as he slipped by. "I would have thought Tosh telling you not to shoot it because it would explode might have helped," he said dryly.

"So says the man who didn't get a drop of slime on him," Owen shot back. "For your information, I wouldn't have shot it if she'd told me that before I had my gun out and was aiming it at the giant, purple hippopotamus that was charging at me."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Ianto's not the only one who didn't get slimed."

Owen pointed at his shirt, earning him a dirty look.

Tosh cleared her throat apologetically as she slipped by the three of them. She was covered in even more slime than Gwen. "I told you not to shoot the alien just as soon as I figured out what it was."

"It's fine," Gwen said, reaching out to pat Tosh on the shoulder. "We're not blaming you for anything."

Owen coughed. "I liked this shirt."

Gwen glared at him. "Shut up, Owen. That's an order."

"Who made you the boss?" he shot back.

The silence was instantaneous.

Owen's face paled as he realized what he'd said. "Sorry," he mumbled, looking away. "I didn't mean it like that."

Tosh let out a tired sigh. "I'm going to take a shower," she said, turning to walk away. "Ianto, do you think you'll be able to do anything to get the slime out of our clothes?"

"I'll do my best," Ianto called after her.

Shaking her head, Gwen reached up to touch her slime-covered hair. "A shower sounds like a good idea to me too," she said with a wry smile. "Do you think the two of you can keep out of trouble until we get cleaned up?"

Ianto smiled back. "I'm sure we'll manage."

As Gwen turned to followed Tosh, Owen clapped his hands together. "A shower does sound good, doesn't it?" he said, his voice teasing. "Maybe I'll join the two of you."

Gwen paused mid-step and turned back toward them. She smiled sweetly at Owen before turning to Ianto. "If he tries to follow us, you have my permission to shoot him."



The first thing Gwen saw when she stepped into the showers was Tosh standing in front of one of the mirrors, yanking clumps of slime from her hair. All she was wearing were her bra and underwear, both of which had hints of purple on them. Her slime-covered clothes had been tossed in a pile on the floor.

"What happened to taking a shower?" Gwen asked as she started slipping out of her clothes as well.

Tosh sighed. "Water only makes it stickier."

Gwen paused, half in and half out of her jeans. "Please tell me you're kidding," she said with a groan.

"Sorry," Tosh said regretfully. She yanked at her hair again, pulling out another clump of slime. She let it drop into a bucket that had been resting against under the sink for months for God only knew what reason.

Shaking her head, Gwen walked over and poked at Tosh's hair. She grimaced at how sticky it was and quickly reached up to touch her own hair.

"Oh, terrific," she grumbled.

Tosh shot her a puzzled look.

Gwen gestured at her hair. "It's getting hard," she explained. "So it's either get it wet and turn it into glue or. . ."

"I understand," Tosh cut in. She poked at her hair again. "To be honest, I'm not sure which is worse."

They both sighed.

After a few seconds, Tosh sighed. "Maybe I should just chop it all off."

Gwen blinked in surprise and glanced at her. "Oh, I wouldn't do that," she protested. "Your hair's gorgeous."

Tosh blushed slightly. "Owen doesn't think so," she said softly.

Rolling her eyes, Gwen reached over and gently tilted Tosh's face in her direction. "Well," she said pointedly, "if you haven't noticed, Owen can be a git at times."

Tosh managed a weak chuckle. "So I've heard."

Gwen stared at her a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. Then, without saying a word, she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She smiled as she pulled away.

Tosh stilled, a startled look on her face.

"I'm going to try a shower and lots of shampoo," Gwen said, gesturing toward one of the empty stalls. "I figure it's worth a shot."

Without saying another word, she turned and walked over to the stall. She paused just outside it and shot Tosh a welcoming look.

"Feel free to join me."

After a second or two, Tosh slowly started to smile.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at