This is my fav fic of the amnesia trope. Such sweet sweet angst. You have me crying when Rose finds he got a girl's number and also when she calls before going to fight the squadra. This is an amazing story, and you're an amazing story-teller.
I enjoyed this fic a lot! The outtakes/epilogue were great, too.
Completely friggin brilliant bloody chapter! Omg... I am literally crying right now...he remembers her! Poor poor arose had given up all hope. I'm dying to find out why he remembered all of a sudden. Great update!
Thank you for the great Thanksgiving (at least here in the US) present of this update (and a happy one no less!) So excited!
Oh thank goodness. This story has been eating me up inside.
I enjoyed this story so much I went and found your livejournal so I didn't have to wait to read the whole thing. =)
**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!! BEEN DYING FOR THIS UPDATE!!!**
I want to know what triggered his memory!!!! But more important, his memory is BACK! Laughed at his outfit and more at his own reaction to his clothing choices!
Great action scene.... and EWWWWW! Squadra body pig pile! Poor Rose.
This story is tying me up in knots. Oh, I love it! It's going to to give me an ulcer, hehehe.
Rose might just be *too* unselfish. I think she needs to be more selfish. She needs to confront the Doctor and tell him *he* needs to think about her for once! Yeah, he has amnesia, but he also owes her. Intellectually, he has to understand that relationships mean commitment, and commitment means sticking together through the hard times. She needs to stand up for herself, for THEM, and have it out with him.
There is a time to give space, and a time to stop coddling. I think he needs a swift kick in the pants. But that's just me being a mom. It's like when your kids are sick... Really sick. You baby them, take care of them, coddle them. But then they start malingering... You have to stop the babying and get them back on their feet and back to school, because they have gotten too used to cuddling up under a blanket and watching Netflix. the Doctor has gotten to this point. Rose deserves an emotional rest, too. Everyone has been so busy thinking about the Doctor's loss that they haven't really acted on Rose's loss.
GREAT chapter. But the last line just has me worried. I really hope she doesn't leave him a "final" if I don't make it back message.
Author's Response: One of the interesting things in writing/sharing this fic has been the difference in response readers have to the characters, and where people place the blame. For us as authors I think we found it important that neither of them be perfect, but both of them be acting from an understandable position. I think Rose has actually been relatively selfish in this fic. She walks out on the Doctor in part because she thinks she can clear the way for a new, simpler life for him, but she also does it because she\'s uncomfortable being around the new him; she wants/needs him to be the Doctor she knows, but he isn\'t, so she runs. I think what she does is understandable -- it would be hard to live around someone who looks like but isn\'t the person you love. Loving the Doctor as she knows him is no guarantee she can love this new man in his body. But she is still the one who chose to leave, and as the only one who really remembers their relationship in the first place, I\'d say she is the one more beholden to any commitment they might have made. I think telling herself she\'s doing everything for the Doctor\'s own good is her way of justifying that action to herself. We intentionally tell most of this story from Rose\'s perspective, which means that right now she (and the reader) can only guess at how the Doctor is really feeling. We\'ll see more of what page he\'s on in the next two chapters. But by this point he\'s astute enough to realize that being around him makes her uncomfortable, that he isn\'t be the person she wants him to be, and that he can\'t fix that for her. Thanks for reading! The next update should be up within the next week.
Nope, didn't need my heart. Not at all....
I'm literally wiping tears from my eyes. This chapter... God. The phone number bit just about did me in. Poor Rose. I can't imagine the man I love showing up so casually with another woman's phone number in his hands. Memory or no memory...it would still kill me. Whew. This is one doozy of a story. Update soon, please!
This story is really, really killing me. In the best possible way. Yes, his behavior is shocking, and it is obviously frightening Rose, let alone breaking her heart.
However, if one was to strip away everything that makes the Doctor likeable, and what would be left? A frightening man. Look at Ten without anyone to keep him in check. He is TERRIFYING as the Time Lord Victorious!
I am really enjoying this completely different exploration of our wonderful TenToo. Please keep going!
Please tell me this is gonna get fixed soon... I don't know how much more heartbreak I can take.
I find the angst heartbreakingly satisfying (heh,) but I feel like it is really well past time for people to be open with the Doctor. There's another story around here someplace where Rose loses her identity and people keep all the information about her past (the crazy stuff) from her - and she very understandably feels betrayed, horrified, and deeply confused about everything as a direct result. (I happen to also think her reaction is bizarre and completely excessive, and frankly she's being very poorly served by the medical personnel who are enabling her behavior and self-isolation, but the betrayal is totally justified and basically every character who knows her prior to the amnesiatic incident owes her a major apology and explanation and making-things-right type stuff.)
Anyway, the Doctor is an adult, who is apparently lucid and able to make reasonable choices. He's also a father/grandfather, with extremely unusual DNA (and an allergy to a very common medication!) and so on and so forth. I feel like Torchwood as an institution has a fundamental obligation to give him everything they have on him, and that the same goes for the people in his family (Torchwood's obligation exists even if Rose, Pete, etc., don't think he can "handle it" - again, the Doctor is an adult.) He's also arguably a danger to the community, from the POV of your average hypercontrolling Agency Who Deals With Aliens, given his latent abilities.
I've incidentally actually known a person with severe anteretrograde amnesia, and you're getting a lot of stuff right (the weirdest thing for that guy was that he used to be a massive smoker/drinker, and suddenly he absolutely didn't want those things at all and had nothing in common with his smoking/drinking friends.) The policy of the hospital we were at was that they provided him access to every detail, and gently encouraged him to talk with family and ask questions, etc., but that they didn't actually force it all on him. They also provided him with a lot more medical and specifically neurological/psychiatric services and testing than the Doctor is getting - inpatient care for several months, followed by residential/supported housing with 6 hours of intrapersonal and CBT/DBT for two months, etc. We actually know a fair amount about the neuroscience of memory, personality, and other cognitive stuff. They also gave him Social Security Disability payments for that (and at least the Prime Universe UK is considerably more generous with social support payments than the Prime Universe USA is.) He was actually an involuntary admit at the beginning, though that was because he couldn't really function at all - not knowing where anything is, how to cook anything, how to write checks, etc., is actually a really dangerous thing for someone who lives on their own.
Also, I'm confused as to what skills and knowledge he has retained and what he hasn't - both in the sense of "what is Metacrisis!Doctor capable of" and "what is Amnesiac!Metacrisis!Doctor capable of." In canon the Doctor can speak lots of languages, for instance, and has senses that humans have no words for; he's also quite a bit stronger and more agile than most human early-middle-age males, metabolizes and tastes/smells most things differently, etc. It's weird to me that he's not constantly running into self-knowledge that is massively disorienting, though I buy that he wouldn't have noticed that he reads much faster than other people, as you usually don't notice speed differences until someone points them out. He ought to be wondering why things are so loud, or why he just keeled over and died from taking a couple of pills for a headache, or whatever.
(At an absolute minimum, they owe him a completely unredacted copy of his medical records.)
Waaah! I love this and yet it's stressing me out at the same time. More please!