Oh, this was just delightful. :D Delightfully hilarious, and your characterizations of Craig and the Doctor were wonderful. I died at their dialogue. Perfection :D The Doctor's reaction at the mention of the male strippers and his brief sum-up of what he'd been up to just KILLED me.
“Not especially, no. I just thought that would be the right thing to say.” He looked a bit bored already.
*giggles* Love it.
The conversation about the UST was so hilarious I can't find words for it ^_^ Poor, poor Craig. So awkward ("Are you feeling gay?" LOL!), and the Doctor was amazing.
I almost spat out my coffee when I read River wanted pictures. You gravely endanger the continued functioning of my computer and yet I still love you for this. XD
“I want to kiss you. I want it so much that my bones ache.”
Craig felt a bit out of sorts. Something about the Doctor was quite attractive, but he felt sure it wasn't a gay thing. He heard himself say “If it makes you feel better, I suppose you can.”
Best thing ever. XD or maybe the steamy sex conversation was. (I had to physically stop myself from quoting half of it into the review.) Oh, I don't KNOW! This whole thing is. And OH LOOKIE A MASTER REFERENCE. ♥ All the stuff I love.
Football being a homoerotic game = almost spitting out coffee #2. This fic is quite dangerous. Or coffee is. Or the combination of the two. Whatever.
The ending was SMASHING. Craig. I can't even :D
Really great job. I had a blast reading this!
Strange and funny and so well written I totally bought it.
Ahaha! The Doctor tries so hard to slash himself and it just doesn't take.
Craig nodded and sat down in the armchair. “So what's been happening to you, mate? Anything exciting?”
“Amy got married to Rory, who came back from the dead. I rebooted the universe. Amy got replaced by a melty clone while she gave birth to River Song, who might possibly be my wife in the future. Which means I've kissed my own mother-in-law.”
“Just the usual then,” said Craig weakly.
Ah hahahaha! OMG, loved this sooo much! :D
Oh god! I can't remember the last time I burst out laughing *quite* so much! It was this that started it properly:
“She's the one who said I should visit you and 'sort it all out'.” The Doctor leaned in and quietly added “She wanted me to take pictures, but I said you wouldn't be into that sort of thing.”
And from then on I just couldn't stop... (It 's *so* River - she really is the perfect woman for the Doctor!) Although all of it was just *beautiful*! Oh Eleventy. How so awesome?
Oh, wow! I loved this! I was laughing and smiling all the way through this. The Doctor and Chris were perfectedly spot on. Brilliant! Did you watch the new series 6 trailer with that little... moment between 11 and Chris by any chance? Faved.
I am laughing so, so hard! This is perhaps the most brilliant thing I have read in a really long time. Thank goodness for that scene from the upcoming series, eh? OMG, this was filled with just FANTATIC lines but this one is my favorite, "“I've been a bit afraid of letting another man get close since one of them went evil.”" I love it when people sneak in both Doctor/Master AND Doctor/River. And Craig and the Doctor felt SO in-character. And then the ending with the footballers! Seriously, I always adore your work and this one was no exception. Thank you for posting this. -Muse
I swear you write the best crack! Laughed my ass off as usual. I will NEVER get tired of reading your fics! Aside from the humor factor, you have got Eleven down pat. He's so on it should be criminal!