Aww, this was pretty good! But I have some points of improvement for you...
(Please don't hate me for this)
Watch your punctuation. Some places needed exclaimation points and full stops.
Emotion. It was the last time Rose would ever see her family, wouldn't she be crying, or a little more upset? All you need to do is put in some desciptive words :)
Aparently, Betas are very useful. Maybe you could ask for one? I would offer, but I'm really disorganised. But if you have short stories or single chapter fics, I can always look over them for you...
But it has great potential, and I look forwards to future stories from you.
Author's Response: yeah I was a bit mad as I type quite a bit and I should have checked them over