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Roaming Charges by Rhilin [Reviews - 12]  Chapter or Story Author's Notes: This was originally written for the Rose Tyler Ficathon on Livejournal. | |
Henrietta Tyler peered around the corner of hallway near her room, tightening the grip on the gun in her hands. The Trikons had landed, and it was up to her to defend her family. She could see it looming in the shadows, distracted now, but even the smallest wrong move and it would be all over. She was the only one left. The monster was turning, sniffing out her hiding place. She had to act now.
“Die, space invader!” she yelled, leaping out from her hiding place, and grabbing the creature by the leg. It made an undignified ‘Eep!’ sound, and tumbled to the ground. Henrietta took the opportunity to climb onto its back, and proceeded to tickle the life out of it. Tickling was the best weapon against Trikons, it was a proven fact. In the scuffle, Henrietta’s elbow slammed into the ribs of the vicious monster.
“Ow!” the creature yelped, half convulsing with giggles. “Ow! Ettie, what have I told you about going for the ribs!”
The young girl huffed, dug in her elbow harder. “Don’t call me Ettie! Uncle Mickey lets me beat up on him all the time.”
“Your Uncle Mickey thinks pretending a six-year-old can’t hurt him makes him manlier.”
“I’ll have you for that,” Mickey launched out of the shadows, hauling Rose up and pinning her arms. Henrietta took the distraction to launch herself at Rose’s legs, throwing her horribly off balance, and leaving her at the mercy of the pair.
“Augh! No!” Rose laughed. “No ganging up, that’s cheating!”
Mickey slackened his grip on her arms, and both girls collapsed in a heap in the hallway, trying to catch their breath. Their eyes met and with a rallying cry, both launched themselves at Mickey.
Pete and Jackie had been invited out to a rather important government dinner, leaving Rose to look after her little sister. Knowing that trying to care for Henrietta by herself would probably mean a tedious night of “The Little Mermaid” on loop and several empty pints of ice cream (and very probably finding her shoelaces tied to the living room chair again) Rose had enlisted Mickey for help. He’d complained, but she’d threatened to assign him Torchwood mission paperwork for two weeks, and he’d come over rather quickly after that.
Henrietta had renewed her attack on Rose, shrieking for revenge (the general kind you’re entitled to as a younger sister) when Rose heard it. She shushed her sister, handing her off to Mickey. Henrietta protested, claiming Rose was stopping just because she was losing, but Rose had already rushed away from the others, socks skidding on the slick wooden floor, her hip slamming into the banister of the stair. Henrietta turned her protests to Mickey, but he just shook his head. He recognized the sound just as Rose had, like the pull-chain of a car service garage, like the revving of an engine, and like neither of those things at the same time.
Rose was taking the stairs two at a time.
Mickey had knelt down to be eye level with Henrietta, “You know how your sister always knows so much about outer space and all that?”
There was a small centralized windstorm in the living room. The morning newspaper had flown off the coffee table, and the curtains were trying their best to rip away from the windows. And there, right on top of her Mum’s favorite carpet, she was going to have a fit if it left a mark, was the blue police public call box that Rose hadn’t thought she’d ever see again.
As the TARDIS gained more solid form, Rose reached down and pinched her arm. It hurt, but that didn’t mean anything, because she’d had lots of dreams that hurt. She’d had a lot of dreams about this, too. He would step out of the TARDIS, looking like he had so many years ago. And then he’d breathlessly confess that he’d never stopped looking, and sweep her into his arms and then would be the confessions of love (and maybe some kissing finally, the bastard, she’d never met a man so afraid of second base). There would be birds singing, and bright light, and swelling music and they’d stare deep into each other’s eyes, and then, and then…
The door to the TARDIS finally (finally) opened, and a man with a head of curly brown hair, maybe slightly larger than average teeth, and an absurdly long scarf stepped out. Also, he was wearing a funny hat.
“Oh.” Rose’s shoulders sagged slightly. It wasn’t the same Doctor, which could mean any number of things. He could be her Doctor’s past, or future, or another Doctor entirely. He could’ve stolen the TARDIS, or maybe it wasn’t the TARDIS at all. He could be some random nutter who’d rigged an old police box to show up in people’s living rooms. The swelling music screeched out like a broken record, and Fate was using her birds for target practice. Fate was such a bitch.
“Are you Rose Tyler?”
Oh, that was a good sign. Rose’s heart sped up. One of the birds let out a hopeful little tune.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Really? I must admit, I was expecting a human. I suppose it’s possible the Zylekani have taken to using second names, and the letter ‘R’, but it seems rather unlikely.”
Oh, right. The mask. So no romantic reunion, no sweeping off into time and space, and to top it off, she looked like something out of a Z-rate horror flick. Fate was jumping up and down on those poor little birds and laughing the entire time.
“No, no, it’s just ‘cause of my sister. See? It comes right off.”
Rose pulled off the mask, examining it. It was standard cheap plastic, with eyeholes cut out, and an elastic band to keep it up. She couldn’t imagine anyone mistaking it for the real deal, and said so.
“It’s got bits of plastic sting coming out the sides. You can’t ‘ave thought it was real?”
The man looked offended, and crossed his arms, shaking his head slightly.
“You can’t assume someone’s not an alien just because he’s got a plastic string. Plenty of life forms have three eyes, zippers, or appear to have evolved from bin liners and bits of plastic string.”
“You’re having me on,” Her tone is harsh, but Rose was grinning, because he’s grinning, and if that glib know-it-all manner (and the blue police box parked in her parent’s living room) hadn’t given it away, that grin would have convinced her. This is the Doctor.
He doesn’t deny it, simply rubs his hands together.
“Right then, Miss Tyler? I believe we have important business to discuss.” He pats his hand against his coat.
“Where did I put it?”
The Doctor rummaged through his pockets, tossing out various and sundry items, muttering to himself. Rose sighs, steps closer, and shoves her hands in as well, because she’s done this before, and knows it’ll be ages for him to find anything alone. He gives her a look of surprise that she doesn’t see, but if one can become used to traveling through space and time, overthrowing alien plots for world domination, and sometimes chatting up famous historical figures, it is much easier to become used to strange blonde girls rummaging through your coat pockets.
“You take inside, I’ll take outside.” Her hand closes around something sticky and she tries not to think about what it could be. “What are we looking for?”
“A bill.”
“Like, a duck bill?”
“No, but if you find one give it over, I’ve been missing it for ages. I’m referring to a bill for goods and services. A phone bill. Your phone bill, in fact.”
Rose jumped away, eyes wide. She shook her head, and the pulled out her mobile, her expression of confusion turning to one of impending guilt.
“You mean this phone?”
“Yes, that’s quite likely. You seem to have been racking up quite a few long distance charges on my tab.” The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Several galaxies worth of long distance.”
“Well, can’t you just pay it and be done with it?”
“Only if you happen to have the sum of several small planets’ worth of resources sitting in your back garden.”
“Several planet-” Rose gasped. “Well what’d you let it get that bad for!”
“It’s not my bill.” The Doctor huffed. “
Rose blushed. “It’s part of my job. This phone’s the fastest means of communication off-world we have right now and…well, I just thought that whatever jiggery-pokery you…the Doctor…worked on it was still working properly. He’d never gotten a bill before.”
“The Doctor? Miss Tyler, have we met in my future? Or perhaps your past? No, actually don’t tell me, you may destroy the universe. Though I must say, making intergalactic phone calls and sticking myself with the bill several years earlier sounds like something I’d do.”
“And a couple universes away.”
At this, the conversation took the inevitable turn that comes from two time travelers meeting for second and first times, and with whom a quantum twist of fate has caused confusion concerning alternative dimensions and body doubles and so on. After that, introductions were just a formality.
“So I’m Rose, this is Mickey Smith, and this is my sister, Henrietta,” Rose frowned, and did a double-take. “What’re you still doing up, Ettie? Mickey, she should’ve been in bed by now.”
Ettie was transfixed by the man in front of her. “You’re the Doctor.”
“I am.”
“My mum said that if I ever meet the Doctor I should kick him in the bloody shins. And then aim higher.”
Mickey couldn’t hold back a laugh at that, and Rose just rolled her eyes. “Mickey, can you please get her to bed? If she gets involved in anything remotely to do with aliens, Mum’ll have my head.”
Mickey sobered. “You’re going off with him again, aren’t you? Seven years, and you’d still fly off with him at the drop of a hat.”
“It’s not like that at all!” Rose protested. “This is all due to me, and I’ve got to fix it. It won’t hardly take any time at all, and then I’ll be right back, yeah? No running off this time.”
Mickey didn’t believe her at all. “Oh, you say that now. But I remember what you were like right after he left.”
Rose rolled her eyes.
“You spend a week in your room listening to Snow Patrol and nobody ever lets you forget it.”
“We’d mention the simplest thing and you’d have a fit. ‘How would you like your tea, Rose?’ ‘Tea? Tea! The Doctor loved tea! With sugar! And now we’ll never have tea with sugar again!’ And then you’d slam doors for five minutes straight.”
“Give over!” She punched him in the arm. “You lot weren’t exactly helpful. You made me a mixtape.”
“You spent all your time-“
“A mixtape!”
“-in your room listening to depressing music-“
“With Evanescence and Paris Hilton!”
“-can’t be worse that listening to ‘Run’ over and over-“
“Every Rose Has It’s Thorns!”
Rose and Mickey glared at each other for a minute for breaking into laughter.
“’S better than what mum was gonna do. You know she was gonna name Henrietta after the Doctor?”
“No!”
“’S true! She offered! I was half tempted to keep up a snit for another week to see if she’d really do it!” Rose snorted, clinging to Mickey’s shoulder to catch her breath. “Would’ve been too cruel for everybody, though. Hilarious, but cruel.”
“Rose!” Henrietta (almost Doctor) Tyler broke into their conversation, tugging on Rose’s jeans. “Rose, Rose, I wanna go with the Doctor! He says we can fight aliens, and have tea on the moon, and I can talk to slime! I wanna talk to slime, Rose! Can I go, please, please, please!’
Rose looked down at her sister in horror, then accusingly at the Doctor. She should have expected that ignoring him and her sister for more than a minute would mean a headache for her.
“Three minutes and you’ve utterly corrupted my little sister!”
Mickey nudged Rose’s shoulder. “Think it might be a new record for him. Age and speed wise.”
“Can’t you just get her up to bed? Maybe bribe her with a pony, so Mum never, ever hears about this?” Rose pleaded with Mickey.
“Oh, can’t I have a pony, too?” Mickey teased, and Rose punched him in the arm. “Send postcards this time. You’re rubbish with the souvenirs.”
The two hugged, and Mickey ushered a protesting Henrietta back up the stairs. Rose turned to the Doctor and tried to look severe, but could only hold onto it for several minutes
“So how do we knock back these…who are we dealing with, anyway?”
“The Interstellar Collection Agency. Quite nasty. But “we”? No, no, no. You seem to have misunderstood. This is far too dangerous to involve a young girl in. You just sit tight, and I’ll be back to turn off your mobile in a few minutes. Well, a few minutes for you.”
“I don’t believe you.” Rose crossed her arms.
“And why would that be?”
“If you really wanted to leave me out of it, you’d be gone by now. And you’d definitely have took my mobile while I was distracted. Because now I have leverage.”
“Fancy gold with the ambassador of Mars? I’ll give him a ring. Need the delegation of Antravian IV tomorrow for tea? No problem.”
Rose mimed answering her phone. “‘Hello, Blon? How’s the weather on Raxicoricofallapatorius? Sunny? Brilliant!’ You shut me out now and I’ll make that bill look like pocket change. If you want this to end, I’m coming too.”
The phone rung as Rose held it to her ear, and she jumped, nearly dropping it and fumbling it in her hands before managing to keep it from dropping to the floor. The Doctor was shaking his head, and making cutting motions at his throat, but Rose ignored him and answered the ringing phone anyway.
“Hello?”
In response there was only a sound like a fax machine and old-fashioned modem, a high pitched whine, and a pulse of static. Something seemed to spark near Rose’s ear. She yelped and dropped the phone.
“What the hell was that?!”
The Doctor hurriedly picked up the phone and switched it off, running over the casing with the sonic screwdriver. Rose made a dive for her phone, but the Doctor pulled it away with a glare and dropped it in his pocket.
“That would be the ICA. Since they couldn’t trace the address of the debtor, me, they’ve finally decided to go directly to the source of the problem, you. They’ve found your phone, and more importantly, you. They’ll be here soon.”
“But, Henrietta is here! And Mickey! We’ve got to go, throw them off the trail or something,” Rose hurried past the Doctor towards the TARDIS, turning and gesturing to the doors, an expression of urgency on her face. “What’re you waiting for?”
The Doctor shook his head, and moved Rose away from the TARDIS door. Rose urged him to hurry as he fumbled with the key, and he turned to look her straight in the eye.
“You, Miss Tyler, I’ve known for all of twenty minutes, and I can honestly say you are one of the most devious, impudent and brash women I’ve met.”
Rose shook her head, “Never believe that.”
“And I’ve met quite a few brash and impudent women.”
“Yeah, that I believe.” Rose said through her teeth and under her breath.
The Doctor swung the door open and stalked inside.
“Come along, then.”
For a moment Rose was astounded at exactly how easy that had turned out to be, before shaking herself and hurrying in after the Doctor. Danger and debt collection agencies awaited. So, really, just a bunch of danger. Just like old times.
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