A Teaspoon And An Open Mind: A Doctor Who Fan Fiction Archive
Tenth Doctor
It Doesn't Go "Ding" When There's Stuff by dbskyler [Reviews - 6] Printer
Author's Notes:
Written for the dw_50ficathon on LiveJournal. Inspired by, and dedicated to, lost_spook (vvj5).


"Rabbit," muttered the Doctor, pointing his Zygon detector at the creature who was placidly chewing on a tuft of grass. "Mouse. Lizard," he continued. He kept his attention on the readout as he scanned the area. "Sparrow. Deer. Penguin." He stopped, and re-read the screen. It said penguin. It hadn't gone "ding." He banged the device against the nearest tree and looked at the readout again. It still said penguin. How could there be a penguin here?

He looked up, and saw the penguin. He pursed his lips and looked at it thoughtfully. It was just standing there, in the middle of the forest. It wasn't doing anything in particular. It was simply . . . there. Being a penguin.

The Doctor decided to go for the direct approach. "I'm the Doctor," he said, "the Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm. If you're a Zygon, I have just two things to say to you. One, you'd better not be planning on invading the Earth, because It. Is. Defended. And two . . . " He looked again at the penguin. The penguin was looking back at him, but he couldn't read the expression on its face. Assuming penguins had expressions on their faces, which perhaps they didn't, especially if they were simply penguins. "And two, why a penguin?"

The penguin shrugged, and took out a cigar. "I still like penguins. And I wouldn't talk if I were you. I've seen you wear far stranger outfits."

The Doctor stared. Then he looked at the readout again and saw that while it still wasn't registering Zygon DNA, it was registering alien DNA. A very familiar type of alien DNA.

". . . Frobisher? What are you doing here?"

The penguin scowled. "Helping you look for Zygons, apparently. Shall we start?"

The Doctor nodded, then mentally noted to add a Whifferdill detector next time.
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