A Teaspoon And An Open Mind: A Doctor Who Fan Fiction Archive
Eleventh Doctor
En Français by marina_lewycka [Reviews - 7] Printer
Author's Notes:
Yeah, sorry about the French...use Google translate if it's really bothering you. It kind of fits in with the Doctor and Amy's confusion, though - don't you think?


The Doctor rested his hand on the pristine doorknob, looking seriously up at Amy. “Amy. As you know, Rory has recovered from his...incident...with that...plant. However — ” He held up a warning finger — “In order to reboot his nervous system, the Tardis has had to drug him. Deeply. So, when I open this door, I don’t know what’s going to happen. He might try to hurt you. He could be asleep in there, for all I know. But — whatever happens, just remember — he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Amy nodded, giving him a small thumbs up. Rolling his head, the Doctor took a deep breath and flung open the door.
"Enfin! Je pensais que j'allais être ici toute la journée, ce qui vous a pris si longtemps?" Rory pushed himself to his feet from his position on the bed, speaking clearly as if nothing was wrong. The Doctor winced.
“Ah, yes. She had to reboot his vocal system, too...” Rory frowned, noticing the horrified expression on Amy’s face. “Evidently the earth languages are too similar for her to distinguish...”
“You think?” Amy retorted, gesturing to Rory. “How am I supposed to understand him, he’s my husband!”
“Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire, parlant français? Ce qui est erroné?” He took a step back, looking worried. The Doctor sighed, ruffling his hair.
“Sorry, Rory, but you’ll have to get back in there. Speech malfunction.” Rory spluttered, incredulous.
“Qu'entendez-vous? Je vais bien! Pouvez-vous pas entendu les mots anglais qui sortent de ma bouche? ” he joked, chuckling. The Doctor groaned, rubbing at his temple. Amy joined him, speaking in hushed tones.
“Doctor, I can’t understand a word he’s saying,” she whispered, pushing her hair out of her face frustratedly.
“I know, I know. It isn’t my fault. But he will have to stay in there for another couple of days.”
“Quoi! Docteur, j'ai été ici pendant un mois, je ne suis pas rester ici! Il n'ya rien de mal avec moi!” Rory panicked, backing away from them. He looked terrified. The Doctor glanced doubtfully at Amy.
“What do you think, Amy? Can we really leave him here like this? He’s so afraid.” He bit his lip, thinking. Amy blew her fringe out of her eyes.
“Fine! He can come out for a couple of days. Is there any other way to stop him speaking French?”
“Je ne parle pas français!” Rory’s indignant cry came from behind them. The Doctor thought for a moment, but then shook his head.
“No. Anyway, it would only work in the right environment.”
“What would?” Amy asked eagerly, not hesitating. The Doctor glanced warily at her.
“He would have to be kissing an English girl. Pronunciation in the vocal chords and all that.” Amy’s face fell. “And the Tardis doesn’t have quite the right equipment, either.”
“Oh. Well, can’t we, maybe, teach him English again?” The Doctor grimaced.
“Amy, he thinks he’s speaking English already. Trying to re-teach him English would be a nightmare. Maybe we could teach you French.” Amy looked blankly at him.
“Doctor, I’m Scottish. I’m pretty sure that teaching him English again would be a lot easier.” The Doctor shrugged.
“Well, it’s up to you, I suppose.”
“Non, c'est à moi! Je suis toujours là, vous savez!” They ignored him.
“Sure. Why not. I always liked a guy with a French accent,” she giggled flirtaciously, smiling at Rory. He growled to himself, turning away.
“Argh! J’abandonne!”
Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.

Script for this archive provided by eFiction. Contact our archivists at help@whofic.com. Please read our Terms of Service and Submission Guidelines.