A Teaspoon And An Open Mind: A Doctor Who Fan Fiction Archive
First Doctor, Second Doctor, Third Doctor, Fourth Doctor, Fifth Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Seventh Doctor, Eighth Doctor, Multi-Era
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Author's Notes:
"Never mind it, Victoria."


There was a electric popping noise and the TARDIS gave out something of a groan. The Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria rose off the floor in a cloud of floating tools, books and a, mercifully empty, tea service. Victoria gave out a single squeal as her long skirts rippled in thin air. "Wrong button, Doctor?" asked a patient voice with a Scottish lilt to it. Jamie's. His sporran floated up and he whacked it down again as his kilt billowed.

"Yes. NO! Oh, blast it!" the Doctor huffed as he attempted to swim back to the open control panel. Jamie caught himself against a strut, turned around and pushed off in the Doctor's direction. He spun and gently booted the Doctor back to where he needed to be. "Thank you. See if you can catch my tools. Blast it, blast it, you wretched thing." He gripped the control panel with his left hand and started work with his right as his entire body dangled upwards.

Jamie noticed Victoria had a death grip on another strut and she was pale. Poor girl, she reminded Jamie of himself when he first started out on his journeys. He'd come a long way from Eighteenth century Scotland. A proper miss from 'The Victorian Era' could adapt, too, but it was going to be hard at first. "All right there, Vicky?"

"YES, PLEASE, THANK YOU!" she gasped and kicked with her legs, trying to stay upright. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I am, however, somewhat embarrassed at always having to ask the questions."

"Yeah?" He encouraged, grabbing at passing tea cups.

"I was just wondering...how did we come to be floating in the air?"

"The gravity is out." Jamie turned a perfect somersault as he maneuvered himself around the console room gathering the Doctor's floating tools.

"Gravity? Out? Out where?" she gasped.

The Doctor spoke up, "Don't tell me you've never heard of Newton?"

Victoria frowned. "Yes, of course I have," she said, clearly insulted. "But, what do you mean by OUT? Did it seep away?"

Jamie seized the opportunity to show off. "You see, Victoria..."

Victoria turned to look at him, did a double take, and went crimson. He didn't notice, he was chasing a passing screwdriver.

"The TARDIS uses artificial gravity." Jamie explained. "It's just as good at keepin' things in their place as planet-gravity. Most space-travelers use it and it can break. Don't ask me to explain how, exactly, it works when it does work. You'll have to ask the Doctor."

Victoria turned wide eyes on the Doctor. Jamie noticed the old alien seemed amused by something. "Never mind it, Victoria," the Doctor said. She gave a little choke. "No, no, no, no, no. Really. It's quite all right. Er. Throw me that, Jamie!" Slightly puzzled, the young man sent the screwdriver tumbling across the console. The Doctor took it out of the air and studied it. "Hmmmm. This would all be so much easier if I had an all-in-one tool," he mumbled. He went back to fiddling with the console with the air of a man who was staying out of it.

"Fake gravity," Jamie went on. "People make artificial forces that keep us walkin' tall in space." He did a cartwheel. "Ain't that impressive?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know? Yes?" She seemed to be suddenly fascinated by the wall.

"Yes!" Jamie enthused. "That's an invention right up there with rock 'n roll, med-scans, computers..."

"Underwear?" Victoria sweetly asked, her color returning, and the Doctor snorted.

The lights went out.

"Oh, thank goodness for small favors," Victoria said.

"Not that small," the Doctor stage-whispered and what sounded like scandalized laughter filled the dark.

"What's so funny?" Jamie asked.


"Absolutely nothing!"

Jamie sighed. His friends could be so strange sometimes.


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