1. Prologue by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 13] (1190 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over, but so far all we're getting is jelly babies. We'll let you know.

2. Chapter 1 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 5] (1709 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over, but so far we're still just getting jelly babies. We'll let you know.

3. Chapter 2 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2549 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over, but so far the jelly baby thing is getting ridiculous. We'll let you know.

4. Chapter 3 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2534 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over but, while we are now getting some interesting commentary on the Shadow Proclamation, he's still ignoring the paper. We'll let you know.

5. Chapter 4 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (3401 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over but we have only advanced to threats against our time lines; he's still ignoring the paper. We'll let you know.

6. Chapter 5 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 9] (2663 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over but after three failed escape attempts, he's still ignoring the paper. We'll let you know.

7. Chapter 6 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (1503 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. However, he's gotten loose and taken the paper with him. Heaven knows what will happen next. We'll let you know.

8. Chapter 7 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (2265 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. He's back and he's brought something very large and very fierce and probably very hungry. We don't think he meant to do, though with the Doctor, who can tell. We'll let you know.

9. Chapter 8 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (1662 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. He's chased off the big, hairy, snarling thing, and we've agreed not to tie him to anything for the moment. He still won't return our paper, though. We'll let you know.

10. Chapter 9 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 4] (1945 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We've brought in the comfy chair! and are getting ready to feed him the yummy cake! He will sign, or he will SIT in the comfy chair! Oh... or he'll use the sonic screwdriver to turn it into ribbons and matchsticks... hum. After him! We'll keep you posted.

11. Chapter 10 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (1779 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. He's now refusing to speak English and, although we have a general idea of which languages he's using, we can't translate. Anyone know what "Είστε καταδικασμένοι" means? It's Greek to us. We'll keep you posted.

12. Chapter 11 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (2204 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. He's offered to trade us some immortal bloke whom he claims also has his own show, but we're not sure. Bird in the hand and all that. We'll keep you updated on our progress, if we ever make any.

13. Chapter 12 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 4] (1696 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. There's now someone banging at the door claiming to be the immortal bloke we were told about before. Somehow, I don't think he's come to hand himself over... oh dear. We'll keep you updated on our progress, if we ever make any.

14. Chapter 13 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (1868 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. As the Doctor is currently tied to a chair, the immortal bloke appears to be on our side. Sort of. We'll have to keep an eye on him, too, it looks like.

15. Chapter 14 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 5] (2865 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. Jack, as the Immortal bloke insists on being addressed, has been ordered to leave by the Doctor, even if he does have to leave the Doctor with us. Did we mention Jack can be annoying when he wants to be? Wonder if we could get him to help with the signing bit. Humm...

16. Chapter 15 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (1713 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We have now gotten the Doctor and Jack to sit on the same sofa. We're about to show them the finale of Season Four. If you hear really loud screaming throughout time and space, you'll know why. We'll get him to sign yet!

17. Chapter 16 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (2185 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. To our utter confusion, the Doctor is running around the place screaming protests and Jack is chasing him with various implements of destruction. We haven't got much sense out of them, but Jack has been heard to yell such things as "Never see her again!", "Didn't let me say goodbye!", and "Hound you for all eternity and I can do it, by God!". Maybe they'll sign? If they ever settle down, we'll let you know.

18. Chapter 17 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 7] (2335 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor is currently cowering in the cellar. Jack is with him. Some bloke with glasses and dark hair (what's left of it) is playing with the doorbell. We're really not sure what's up, but this guy seems like a pretty good threat. Maybe they'll both sign if we threaten to let this character in?

19. Chapter 18 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2080 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. Somehow, both of them have escaped. We're not sure when it happened or how, but there's some 15-year-old fangirl on the doorstep claiming to be Stephen Moffitt and demanding we return them. Oh, there they are. Hiding in the attic. We're going to get the contracts again and see what happens.

20. Chapter 19 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 4] (1897 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. So far, the Doctor has asked for scripts to the entirety of Seasons Five, Six, and Seven before he'll sign. Jack only insists on Season Four, but he'd also like OV's ideas for his team's big screen debut before he'll touch the paper. So far, I have one story where Jack gets incinerated - he likes it - and one where the Doctor and the TARDIS get kidnapped - he's confused. We'll let you know.

21. Chapter 20 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (2114 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We are pleased to announce that we now officially own Jenny, Joseph, and Stephanie. Wait, what? We already owned you because we created you?? Then why'd we have to fight so hard to get you!? OV is getting their agent on the phone. The Doctor is in the corner snickering. This is not helping. Stay tuned for the next update...

22. Chapter 21 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (2539 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We are pleased to announce that Jack has agreed to sign himself over. Oh. When he's dead. Well, that's never going to work. And why is the Doctor smirking at us? Oh, he's added a clause... next Doctor will be played by Rupert Grint?? I don't THINK so. Looks like it's back to the negotiating table. Someone fetch the yummy cake, please.

23. Chapter 22 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2175 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has proposed the idea for an episode where everyone does exactly as he tells them to do, immediately, without arguing, and without screwing up, Jack doesn't flirt with anyone, and no one tries to kiss either of them. (He's allowed that Rose won't be there, although he seems to be a little interested in that old crucifixion idea of Jessa's.) Jack is trying to explain to him that this would be very boring. He doesn't seem to get it. We're not going to get this paper signed this week, are we?

24. Chapter 23 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (2643 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has dissolved all the legal paper work by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. Jack has informed him that this is neither logical nor possible, but the Doctor is pointing at the pile of goo and snickering. And we are heading out to Kinko's. This is going to take FOREVER at this rate.

25. Chapter 24 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 4] (3331 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. For some reason, Jack has taken the paperwork up to the roof. Maybe he'll sign it up there? He appears to have some barbecue sauce and... Oh, great, he's just fed the paperwork to an extinct pterodactyl. And there goes the Doctor, laughing and feeding it chocolate. Of course you realize this means war.

26. Chapter 25 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2635 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. Jack has agreed to sign himself over if we give him Ianto as his slave. The Doctor got a bit steely at that. Apparently, he doesn't approve of slavery. And now, we get to witness a debate on the implications of slave-based societies. Many we haven't heard of, and most haven't existed yet. Jessa has stuck her two cents in and may very well talk the Doctor's ear off before this is over...

27. Chapter 26 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (3591 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has been perusing our joint creation. He seems to have hit a snag. He says Time Lords would never be so undignified to do anything against a wall. Jack tried to remind him of "that time when Rose wore that-" and was quickly silenced. OV has just thrown the paperwork on the ground in her need to get the details of this little lapse.

28. Chapter 27 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (2927 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. After unsuccesfully questioning the Doctor on what Jack alluded to last week, OV has reluctantly returned to trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has continued to peruse our handiwork, now with Jack peering over his shoulder. Jack says that the Doctor, like Joshua, is prone to lose control only when Rose is involved. Before we could get too excited by this compliment to our characterization, he continued, trying to explain this one time when the Doctor used his teeth to...before being interrupted by a Time Lord who was in a rush to assure us that the teeth were new, he was trying them out.

29. Chapter 28 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (3279 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. OV and Liz planned to spend the week torturing the Doctor until he signed by playing rap music non-stop. Unfortunately, Jessa tried to kill everyone in the room before ten minutes were up. OV had to hold her down while trying to turn off the CD player with her nose.
Please note: This fic carries an M rating for a lot of very good reasons. Yes, this IS a warning.

30. Chapter 29 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (3359 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We let in a ravening horde of screaming fan-girls and sent the Doctor to placate them with autographs. He was half-way through the "D" before he realized they weren't holding photos or autograph books, but copies of our contract. SO close...

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

31. Chapter 30 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (3690 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We tried to get rid of the fan girls from last week, but they wouldn't go. So we sent Jack out on the roof and told them all he'd be naked and they could ogle all they liked. We THOUGHT we were exaggerating. Not sure how that happened, but the Doctor said something about setting 8469... We might be a bit too busy to get those papers signed this week.
Please note: This fic carries an M rating for a lot of very good reasons.

32. Chapter 31 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (3141 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has been watching the news and interviews with some astonishment, if the startled goldfish effect is anything to go by. Liz has asked him what he thinks of the development, but he won't say. OV is in the bathroom and we assume she's comforting the sobbing Jack. Jessa is trying to run down the rumors and also pestering the Doctor about how he's gonna find the energy to do it, what with Handy the Wonder Clone. OV's suggested we use butterfly nets and get ready to catch the new one, because the paperwork isn't gonna get signed if we let this one get away. And the world waits with bated breath.

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

33. Chapter 32 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 3] (3636 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has been following Rita the dog around all day and can't seem to figure out why. Jack and Jessa are currently restraining him, while Jack mumbles something about trying to lick dogs being rude. Jessa adds "So wrong, in so many ways." OV is offering to give him the dog if he'll just sign this handy-dandy little piece of paperwork transferring ownership. She does not specify of what. Liz is hiding the bottle of banana-scented dog spray and giggling. Rita is not amused.

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

34. Chapter 33 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 0] (4062 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor, having read the rumors, is now staring at us in indignation and swearing that he will NOT turn back into Nine. Jessa has her dangerous pen and has written out "temporal-reactive interductive inverse displacement effect", several other weird concept words, and the word "meta-crisis". OV is trying to talk the Doctor off the ceiling (how he got up there is anyone's guess) by swearing Jessa's just making it up and promising if he'll just sign the paper, she won't let it happen. Maybe. Jack has read Jessa's notes and is suddenly begging her for something. And the Doctor looks extremely worried.

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

35. Chapter 34 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 0] (4383 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has chased Jack out onto the roof for wondering aloud if Janis Joplin gave David Morrissey his coat, too. We've informed him that we'll let him back in if he'll either perform a random dance or sign the paperwork. If not, we've threatened to show "The Producers" to the fangirls.

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

36. Chapter 35 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (4346 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has gotten onto IMDb and is apparently shopping for a new face. Jack's trying to talk him into becoming Hugh Jackman. We've offered to let him stay on the internet if he'll just sign the paperwork, but he's jiggery-pokeried something and now you can get an internet connection from the toaster. Mind, it doesn't make toast any more but all Jack said about that was that at least it wasn't the blender. At this rate he's liable to regenerate himself from a tragic toaster accident and the paperwork will never be signed.

Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

37. Chapter 36 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (3655 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. OV has managed to contract some sort of inner ear problem. She refuses to call it an infection, because that is something only children get. She has been milking this for all it's worth, claiming dizzy spells in which she needs support from the nearest gorgeous time traveler. At this rate, the papers are more likely to dropped during one of these "episodes" and trampled than signed. Jessa has requested the Doctor "cure" her. By whatever means necessary. Although none of us are too sure about the look Jack got over that suggestion.
Please note: This story carries an "M" rating for a lot of very good reasons.

38. Chapter 37 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 0] (5034 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. We have no idea what happened to us. Something about a Vortex, a wormhole, and a tesseract, all getting cocked into a cup of tea due to some argument between Jessa and the Doctor over the nature of reality. They finally got us back, three weeks later, and now Jack is demanding OV take Jessa's copy of "A Complete History of Time" away from her.

39. Chapter 38 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 1] (2982 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. Well, we tried to keep it from them, but they've seen the footage now. Jack has retired to the attic with a half-gallon of hyper-vodka, after the Doctor refused to answer his question about getting younger. The Doctor is wandering around and complaining. We can't get much sense out of him, what with the extreme vocabulary, but we have definitely heard "not everyone can have really great hair", "wish Jackie Tyler was around to fix that", and "fifteen years and a chain saw might sort it out." They've both managed to ruin this week's copies of the contract, of course. What Jack got on his, you don't want to know. We handed the Doctor his copy and he scrawled, "What's the point?" across it in great big double bold letters. Things are a bit depressing around here right now, to say the least.

40. Chapter 39 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 0] (3070 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. The Doctor has been wandering around all week, demanding the "Scissors of Rassilon". We haven't figured out what's up with that, but he swears that if we don't have them on hand, he is not going to be held responsible for what happens between him and a straight razor the instant he finds a mirror. Jack, of course, offered him this 51st century gizmo, but the Doctor turned it sonic, somehow, and now it will carve entire "Burma Shave" jingles into the sides of anything furred or similar. Including the front lawn. OV and Jessa have gone to get some grass seed to cover up the SOS, arguing heatedly about whether or not Bermuda grass should be banned under the Geneva Convention.

41. Chapter 40 by Pairadox Timeline [Reviews - 2] (3706 words)
Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who. We have abducted him and are trying to get him to sign himself over. Having calmed down significantly, the Doctor is now, apparently, planning to throw himself a going away party. Jack's all for this idea and has suggested he be in charge of the entertainment. While Jessa and the Doctor have vetoed this on the grounds that the entertainment should, probably, remain clothed, OV has been quick to remind all that Jack's got a lovely singing voice (and that's not all). The Doctor has conceded to Jack in charge of the music, provided the lyrics stay clean. Jack wants to know what "clean" is. Right now, we're planning to slip the contracts in with the signature slips for any deliveries that might need to be made. We'll let you know.