This chapter is on the longer side, but I felt this part of the story needed to be told together in one part :) Anyway, sorry I didn't update sooner! ^_^
Unbeta'd - All mistakes my own.
The Time Lord didn’t need to hear what had happened. So many things can be said, but sometimes, only those three little ones can be the hardest to take.
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| Tenth Doctor, Torchwood | |
Never Say Never by Kimori1024 [Reviews - 58]  Chapter or Story Author's Notes: | |
Surprisingly enough, shopping had taken a lot out of her. Plus there was the fact that Tori didn’t feel particularly compelled to attempt a conversation with that Doctor bloke after that morning’s events. Leaving her mum alone would probably be best. The only other option seemed to be sleep anyway. She knew she wouldn’t even be able to comprehend what was going on with those two; her mum and that man. He looked like her dad, but he wasn’t him. She wasn’t sure how that could be possible, but if laying her now in a bed in a parallel world could happen, she didn’t doubt the reality of the situation. That man would just end up being trouble, of that she was sure.
A soft mewling sound came from the boy beside her and she couldn’t help but smiling. The first night they’d stayed in this flat Robert had stated how improper the two of them sharing a bed would be, but she’d insisted that if they were mates, couldn’t they trust each other? That and she didn’t want him to sleep on the floor or out in the living room with that weirdo. He could be so sweet; she’d end of tainting him for sure. He’d reluctantly agreed to stay with her after she’d turned on her classic Tyler charm, her dad used to call it. Her smile faded slightly.
Still, she loved watching Rob sleep. After the last few days they’d had, no wonder he was worn out. He didn’t even act worried about being here, that was partly for her she knew. He didn’t have anyone in the other world to go back to. Both of his parents had died a few years back in a zeppelin accident so he’d practically became part of the family in the past year since her father had died. He was only an acquaintance at arms length before that, so he had never known her father personally. It was far better that he hadn’t known the madness of her family until now. It was that madness that, while made him more than just a friend, would always keep him from being anything beyond that.
She’s never slept very much. It probably had something to with her heightened metabolism, her two hearts or her agelessness like her mum. Something told her it was all somehow the mysterious man’s fault. Something about him wasn’t human; she could feel it in her head. Her hearts fluttered as her thoughts were interrupted by an arm wrapping itself around her waist. She giggled under her breath, her hands suppressing the noise as not to disturb the owner of the arms. Rob pulled her to his chest, clearly still very much asleep. She maneuvered her body closer and brought her hands around his back. He’d never know so what could it hurt? She nestled her head into his shoulder and breathed deeply.
The brunette tried to relax and sleep, her body was so tired but her mind was on overdrive. Her thoughts trailed back to her mum and the way she’d looked when they had gotten back from the store. An uneasy feeling squirmed in her gut. The last time she’d been like this was right after her father had passed away. The sight of this Doctor hurt her; she couldn’t begin to imagine what it was doing to her mother. Her mum wasn’t always very stable and when she’d been like this a year ago, she’d nearly taken her own life. Tori remembered that her nan, back when she was alive, used to talk about when she had been close to suicide after a horrible breakup on a beach. Her mum would never go into that. Tori had had to go through many breakups, but none had hit her quite that hard. The boy embracing her grunted sleepily and she wondered what it will feel like when she’d need to leave him.
White light, a shooting pain and a scream from somewhere in the distance registered somewhere in her mind. Her eyes shot open as her fingers dug deep into the flesh of the terrified boy’s back. Her brain seemed on fire without any way to extinguish the flames.
“Tor? Hey! Tori!” Rob gripped her and shook her back to consciousness. “Are you alright?” His worried eyes searched her.
Her head was throbbing wildly, but her medication would be back in the other universe. Not exactly helpful. She attempted to rationalize what she would do; anything to stop herself from doing something stupid. She shot up in bed and gripped the black haired boy’s arm, pulling him with her as she bolted out of the covers.
“D’you fancy goin’ out for a bit?”
“What? Tori... Are you alright? Remember last time we just decided to go out? We ended up here.”
“Oh, come on!” A horrible beat drummed in her skull. She knew it would be stupid and dangerous, but she’d already started rummaging through the the room for her jacket and trainers. Maybe if she just left this place she could think straight. Fresh air was all she needed.
“Tori...”
“Well, get up! Let’s see what this universe’s London has to offer!”
She needed the fresh air; she needed to run.
***
Rose sat on her bed in her room. Though it was all hers, she didn’t recognize the person who had lived here. This was the room of a nineteen year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. Granted, it would have been a simple life of work, telly and chips but it would have done just fine. She smiled and gripped the beaten leather jacket in her arms more tightly. No, she wouldn’t have ever been happy with that life in a million, or five billion years. She would never trade her two years with the Doctor for anything and even now, she just wanted to believe that if she went back into that room, they could pick up where they left off. It hurt that that would never happen; could never happen.
Her wedding ring was now off and lay on her bedside table next to the tiny digital clock. For a fleeting moment she wanted to pick it up, but her hands stayed buried in the leather. An overwhelming sense of guilt swept over her, her body physically shaking with the effort to keep from exploding. She loved her John so much, she had to. No, that was a lie, she wanted to and she did so very much. And yet, when she saw the Doctor, it was as if she was the innocent, despite her efforts to prove otherwise, nineteen year old girl that lived in this ridiculously pink room and threw herself into everything she did. But she wasn’t that girl; she was a bitter, hardened woman of fifty-five. She was a single mother, alone without her husband of twenty nine years. She should be mourning the loss of the man she loved and caring for her daughter instead of acting like that stubborn little girl crying in her room unable to face her responsibilities; her fears.
A door slammed in the distance. Had the Doctor left? Her stupid little outburst had probably chased him away. She hadn’t even told him to stay; she should have been begging him. Whether it would be good for either of them, she didn’t want him to leave. She shouldn’t love him as much as she still did, but her heart betrayed her and screamed out, blocking out rational thought. Her eyes drifted back to the wedding ring. A horrible shame swept over her when she realized that somewhere in her heart that she didn’t want to put it on.
“Rose?” Her breath caught when the man in her thoughts, her dreams, burst through the door. “Oh... I... I thought you’d left. I was... was, umm...” He played with his ear nervously as he spoke. “I heard the front door when I was in the bathroom and I thought... I don’t know...” She tried to look at him, but it seemed he was having just as much difficulty looking her in the eye as she was him. “Well, you’re still here. That’s good.”
“Is it?”
He looked at her, searching for the right response to her question.
“Wait... If it wasn’t you and it wasn’t me... Oh my God... Tori! She left again!” Rose instantly flung the jacket she’d been holding down on the duvet and leapt up from her position on the bed. “I need to go find her! Anything could happen....” Tears began to sting her eyes. She’d been so wrapped up in herself again that she hadn’t been paying enough attention to her own daughter. There she was just being a horrible mother again. And Tori didn’t even have her medicine here. This was very bad. “I need to go find her... She doesn’t even have her medication!” Rose cursed herself for not having grabbed the bottle on her way out the night they’d ended up here.
“Medication?” The Doctor looked slightly confused at the hysterical blonde.
“She gets these... headaches, well, more like migraines really, ever since she was a baby. They’d be accompanied by sometimes uncontrollable mood swings. And now, she’s out there right now, along going through this! I need to find her” Rose tried to leave the room, but the Doctor grabbed her by the shoulders and stopped her.
“No, I’ll go. You just stay here.”
“You can’t tell me what to do!”
“Do you really want her to come home to no one? Or even worse, to me!?” She stopped yelling and just stood there. He carefully guided her to sit back down on the bed as she sobbed, but didn’t resist.
“Fine. Just...” He cut her off.
“No, you stay here in case she comes back. You’ve had a rough couple of days.” He resisted the urge to wipe the tears on her cheeks away and pushed away, heading for the door. “I’ll go and find my daughter.” He gripped the doorway, recalling what he just said. Realizing the implications of his words and the thoughts behind them brought him to a complete standstill. “I mean...” His head spun back to Rose, her eyes wide and staring up at him and her lips beginning to speak. “You know what I mean,” The Doctor mumbled in frustration, not turning back. He turned and darted out the door, not giving himself the chance to hear what she had to say.
“Leave... it’s what you do best...”
***
The Doctor had nearly forgotten how big and confusing a place twenty-first century London could be. He didn’t want Rose to worry and the last thing she needed after passing out and ending up here was to go out and have something like hat happen again. He would find her daughter. He just had to think like a highly unstable young woman in a strange environment. This wasn’t going to be easy.
Well, he did have one thing in common with that girl; he was most certainly unstable. He’d called Tori his daughter, by accident, yes, but he’s still said it. He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. She wasn’t his; she was another man’s child. Even though she had his eyes and his smile and his energy...
She had his mind.
It started as a tiny tug, a pull at the very back of his consciousness. The feeling was barely there, but still its presence was strong and familiar. He swallowed slowly and stopped in his tracks. He knew that feeling; he used to resent it with a passion, that was until it was gone forever. A Time Lord, well, of sorts, was near by. She had his energy. She had his mind.
But her father was human, she had to be human. Then again, there was probably a lot he didn’t understand. But the feeling, he couldn’t deny the presence of her mind. Rubber soles turned on their heels as he spun around to follow the signal. Before he knew it, he was running and the signal was growing stronger. It had formed into something recognizable, something he was so very familiar with - fear. Oh Rassilon, she was in trouble! His hearts sped up in his chest as the Doctor strained to track Tori down.
“Stop it!” a male voice yelled.
“Oh, oh ‘stop it!’ What? Are ya gonna make me?” This voice clearly came from a different man. It was evident he was taunting the owner of the former voice.
The Doctor’s keen sense of hearing picked up the conversation around the corner. Tori’s presence was strong, so he slowed and cautiously stepped into the dark alley.
“I said get away if you know what’s good for you,” the first voice yelled, slightly shaken. The Doctor’s eyes quickly focused on the arguing figures. The boy talking appeared to be Tori’s mate, Robert. The Doctor could also make out three other adolescent males and the one specific young woman he’d been searching for.
“Oh, I know what’s good for me, don’t I boys?” One of the young men, clearly the leader of the little gang spoke with the voice from before. The Doctor could only assume that the ungodly amount of piercings were some sort of status symbol. The Time Lord took a step forward as the leader swept forward and gripped Tori’s arm firmly causing Rob to jump to defend her. But the other two in the group had other ideas and shoved him to the concrete. His head hit the pavement as he seemed to be no match for the two, their fists raining down upon him.
The Doctor swiftly darted into action to the rescue, but the young woman got there first. He was almost out of the shadows when Tori took a hard right hook to the man that was holding her sending him down to the ground, hard. The other boys ran toward her, but in a few rapid arm and leg movements, they were both down with their friend.
“Rob! Dammit! I told you not to try and stop them!” Tori called as she dashed to help the wounded young man.
“Where did you learn that..” It was clearly a struggle to speak as Rob attempted to sit up on the pavement, Tori’s arm around his back for support. She placed a palm on his bloodied forehead and the Doctor could feel the girl’s mind swirl with intense emotions.
“Long story, let’s go...”
The Doctor stood, utterly stunned at the display before him. Images of another would be daughter flashed before his eyes; maybe all of his children had the inert ability of martial arts. Not that she was his child, of course.
“Not so fast bitch!” Suddenly, the leader of the group was on his feet again and more quickly than either the Doctor or the young woman could think to react, he had Tori pinned down beneath him. “With your little pansy boyfriend over there, I’ve got you right where I want you, love.”
Seeing how Rob was in no position to defend Tori, The Doctor leapt forward to grasp the gang leader. But he screeched to a halt only inches away when he heard a tiny laugh and an all too familiar metallic click.
“I don’t think so,” Tori’s voice was cool and calm, not at all what the Doctor expected from a young woman who was being attacked. His thoughts were confirmed when he noticed that the young woman had a gun placed up to the man’s head. Her hand was still, her grip firm. This wasn’t the first time she’d pulled a gun on someone; not the first time she’d faced death head on.
The man had lost all bravado and was struggling to remove himself from the brunette. He shook, whispering something of an apology as he stood, but Tori didn’t remove the gun from his temple.
“Tori put the gun away,” The Doctor spoke quietly as he slowly stepped toward them. The last thing he needed was to startle her and have that blasted weapon go off. “Tori, you’ve won. There are far better punishments for someone like that, let me handle it.”
The young woman turned toward the pleading Time Lord and captured his gaze in hers. Unflinching, she raised the gun above her head a fired a shot into the air as she watched the Doctor’s every movement; every breath rising and falling in his chest. Here blue eyes were full of steely fire and he could feel the storm raging behind them. He could feel her in his mind properly. Part of the feeling grasped his hearts with hope; the other part filled him with fear. Tori’s attacker took the opportunity to run off, leaving his partners in crime in the alley still incapacitated.
The electric stare between the two was broken only by a voice from behind Tori. “I could’ve stopped them!” Robert yelled. Blood had begun to dry on his face, but the hurt look in his eyes had nothing to do with his wounds. “I could have protected you! Where the hell did you get the gun anyway?!”
“Doesn’t matter!” The young woman only briefly turned to her friend before turning back to the Doctor, her eyes still gleaming with rage and disgust.
“It matters to me! You could have been killed!” He was clearly struggling to get to his feet. The Doctor rushed over to hold the boy’s arm for support, but he pulled away determined to do this on his own. “I told you before! I love you!”
The girl swallowed, but clearly turned her face away as she pocketed her weapon. “Let’s not get into that again right now...” The Doctor watched her eyes look at the boy through her lashes and sigh. “I mean...” She looked away again before continuing, “Just don’t.”
The Doctor studied Rob’s bruising and cuts as he sat him back down on the concrete. He’d need to tend to those quickly. He turned his attentions back to the young woman. “Tori... give me that gun...”
“Did mum send you to fight her battles?” A storm, only barely held in check blazed in her eyes and came through in her voice like poison.
“Tori... No, I came because I wanted to find you.” As the words left his lips, the Doctor knew that they were true. He could see the pain and destruction in her blue eyes, so much like he’d seen in his own after the war. He could feel it in her mind; she was so much more than human and so much more than even he.
“Like you care... you’re not my dad,” her voice was quiet and cold as she spoke. She turned to walk away, but stopped and turning back. Her eyes widened as her finger tips ran across her temple briefly. Without another word, she ran off into the night.
“Fuck! I need to go after her!” Robe tried to get up, but failed as the Doctor ended up catching him.
“She’ll be fine, she won’t go far.” Of that he was certain. Sure, she would run off and ditch him, but she wouldn’t leave this boy. “But first,” the Doctor whipped his sonic screwdriver out of his coat pocket and began to scan Robert’s wounds. The tissue regenerator had been River’s idea in the new model. “We need to fix you up.”
“What are you...?” The boy tried to move, but he gently held him still. ‘What is that?”
“Sonic screwdriver, but that doesn’t matter. Listen, I know things have been a bit hectic for you. You’re in a parallel world and the only person that you trust has just told you to shove off.” The Time Lord flicked off the little blue light, leaving Rob good as new despite the blood and dirt. He stepped back and helped the black haired young man to his feet, examining him one last time for any other injury. “There we go! All better! Well, not better... you’re still alone in a parallel world...”
“We need to find Tori! She’s hurt too. You need to sonic thingy her as well!” As soon as he was sure of his footing, Robert dashed to the end of the alley, frantically peering both ways. “She’s hurt and it is my bloody fault! She wouldn’t have even run out of the club if I hadn’t...” He trailed off and the Doctor walked to stand beside him. The Time Lord didn’t need to hear what had happened. So many things can be said, but sometimes, only those three little ones can be the hardest to take. “Anyway...” Robert swallowed deeply and then turned to the Doctor, desperation in his eyes. “She had one of her attacks, that’s why she insisted we leave the flat. She’s alone out here without her medication!”
Rose had mentioned something about medication as well. The Doctor studied the worried young man’s face. Despite the flashy pink at the top of his hair or the piercings in his ears, the Doctor couldn’t see anything but a soul filled with compassion and love. But the same fear was in his eyes when he spoke of Tori alone as was in her mother’s.
“I’ll go get her,” the Doctor spoke as he gripped Rob’s shoulder in reassurance. Before he turned to go he patted the contents of his pockets, finding and handing a mobile to the young man. “This will be able to call Doctor Jones at Torchwood. Call them and let them know we’re going to need a ride. While you are mostly healed, I have a feeling Tori won’t be in any state to walk back to the estate.” Robert accepted the phone that was thrust into his hands as the Doctor turned to leave. “Oh and Robert,” the Time Lord turned around one last time a few feet away. “Sometimes she just needs to be in control without everything falling apart.” Then and there, he knew how much of himself was buried within Tori. She was so much like him; destined to be alone. But maybe, just maybe, for a bit she wouldn’t have to be. And just maybe he wouldn’t have to be either, not this time. “She’ll try to push you away, but what she wants is for you to stand your ground.” He smiled warmly and thought he saw something flicker in the young man’s eyes as he left to go find his daughter.
***
Her head was pounding; a constant drum beat assaulting her mind. Light flashed before her eyes and she could feel her feet lose their step as she tumbled forward. Tori prepared herself for a rough landing, but instead something soft and warm embraced her. A soothing double beat began to cancel some of the incessant drumming.
“Are you alright?” Tori peered up at the source of the voice, the owner of the arms that now held her tightly. Soft, old brown eyes looked down at her.
“Did you find me like you did last time? Violate my mind,” she tried to speak with an edge to her tone, but she was far too weak to fight him.
“I didn’t mean to... You were sort of screaming out,” The Doctor shifted the young woman in his arms as he spoke. He was careful not to move her too quickly as he pulled her down to sit beside him on a nearby bench.
“You didn’t need to listen,” she mustered up all of the strength she could to pull herself out of his grip. Though without the Doctor’s support, she clung to the arms of the bench for her life.
“I wanted to help you.” Tori suddenly convulsed on the bench beside him and fell into his arms again, gasping for breath. Traces of gold escaped her lips.
“Are you alright?” The Doctor instinctively moved his fingers to her temples, but she jerked her head away. She didn’t have enough strength left though to prevent his arms from enclosing around her to stop her from falling off the bench.
“I suffer from migraines. Is that alright with you?” She snapped at him, though for all her bravado, she looked like nothing more than a frightened little girl.
“Fine, well... well... I mean, not fine... but...” he stuttered, not really certain what to say. Her bright blue eyes met his, all of the fight and fire gone from them as they shown with unshed tears.
She hazarded a tiny grin, though she paid for the expended effort with another lightening bolt through her skull. “Left you speechless... Give the girl a medal!” She doubled over in pain again, but still pulled her head away from the Doctor’s touch.
“Y....you know... I’ve suffered from these my whole life. Uggh... Always. I suppose I can blame that on you can’t I? Alien, human with a bit of vortex splashed in the mix. You ruined my life before I knew you existed.” She continued, not giving him a chance to speak. “I can see it all in your mind. You’re thinking about the Bad Wolf, about mum, about me and you know it is all your fault...” She watched her words gut him; she could feel it.
“Please... let me help...” The Time Lord could feel her presence grow stronger.
“Shut up. Ahhh....” She screamed out in pain, gripping her head and screwing her eyes shut tightly. The tears that the Doctor saw form spilled out onto her cheeks and marked his dark brown coat. “Y’know, me dad used to hold me when I had these headaches. He’d tell me it would all be okay. Up until the day he died he told me it would all be okay! But it is never okay! Never! It never was! He told me it would be okay! He said it would be okay and then he left me!” She was yelling hysterically now through sobs.
“Just like Rob will leave me someday... Even if it isn’t sooner! Someday he’s gonna bloody well die on me! How can he say he loves me and know he’s gonna leave!? And then mum wanted to leave too! Kill herself and leave me all alone! I can’t even die! I’ll change like I did when I was born!” She continued to yell as the Doctor pulled her to his chest. She didn’t resist, instead she held him closer, desperately pulling at his coat. Her voice quieted to a whisper as she coked out through her tears, “Maybe everyone would have been better off if I’d just died then...”
The Doctor didn’t pry or force her as he placed his finger tips to her head. He didn’t search for the answers to all of the questions she had just brought to his mind. Right now, nothing mattered but helping her and even if it was only in one small way, that was something he could do. He reached his mind deep into hers and soothed away the storm, the pounding and the energy that consumed her every waking moment. She hadn’t been at peace for so long; he could feel the relief wash back into his own mind as he released her, leaving her body to fell limp against his chest. Her ragged breathing began to regulate and for the first time, he could feel two hearts beat strongly in her chest.
“He told me. He promised... But it never is...” her voice was barely audible through the tiny sobs that same from her throat as she gripped shakily to him. Her tears had soaked through his suit and black mascara smeared along his white shirt collar.
“Shhh.....” Shushing her, he rocked her slowly as he watched the Torchwood jeep roll into view. He must have lost track of time how long they’d been sitting here; for a Time Lord, that wasn’t an easy thing to do. Dawn was just about to break as the darkness overhead began to fade.
“You’re not him...” the young woman sighed softly into his chest. “You have two hearts.” He lifted her body easily and placed her gingerly into the backseat beside Robert who held her in place on the seat. He slipped the gun from its place in her pocket; it didn’t suit her at all. He couldn’t resist sweeping some sweat matted hair from her eyes. No, he wasn’t her father; he wasn’t Rose’s husband. But all he could do was try. “Don’t tell my mum what happened, please...” she whispered softly before she dozed off.
He didn’t respond to her request as he pulled himself into the front seat beside Ianto and they headed back to the Powell Estate.
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