The Atlantians vs the Iceworld Soldiers
by Astrid Giese-Zimmer

Prologue: After I first started Doctor Who, I became obscessed with the Iceworld Soldiers from “Dragonfire”. Now after watching “The Time Monster” too many times, I’m obcessed with the Atlantians. Don’t get me wrong, Belazs is still the most tragic and fascinating character ever, but....

(fangirl mode) OMGHippiasissocutehelookslikePeteBurnsOMGhehasnoshirtOMG (/fangirl mode)

So here’s what I think would happen if these two groups of characters were taken out of time and went head to head. And no fake wrestling either!

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Round 1: Queen Galleia vs. Belazs

Belazs looks at Queen Galleia with hate in her eyes. She has her gun ready to fire. Galleia says “You would not dare shoot a queen.”. Then the referee steps in and says no guns, and tells them how the round should be fought. The ladies agree, and strip down to their underwear and wrestle in chocolate pudding.

Winner: The fanboys.
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Round 2: Dalios vs. Kracauer

Kracauer and Dalios face eachother. Dalios says “I have never seen a coloured person outside of our slaves in Atlantis”. Kracauer shoots the %#( out of the old bastard.

Winner: Kracauer
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Round 3: Hippias vs. Bazin

Hippias steps into the ring with his sword. Bazin timidly steps in with his gun. They look at one another and strike frightening poses with their weapons, but then back down when they both realize they’re both cowards. They shake hands. Then a bunch of girls in the audiance rush into the ring and cling onto Hippias, saying how cute he is. Hippias raises his eyebrows, and smiles, and walks off with the ladies. Bazin says “Hey, I can be cute too!” and takes off his shirt. The girls throw tomatoes at him.

Winner: Hippias, the mad pimp, yo.
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Round 4: Lakis vs. McLuhan

Lakis timidly steps into the ring. McLuhan proudly follows. Lakis gets scared and runs off. She sees Hippias making out with his groupies. She promptly breaks a chair over his head.

Winner: McLuhan
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Epilogue

Belazs exits the ring, half-naked and covered with pudding. She goes backstage and sees Hippias smoking a cigarette. She smiles and looks at his sexy body. He does the same. Hippias walks up to Belazs and starts kissing her. After making out for a while, Hippias starts to lick chocolate pudding off Belazs’ shoulders. Before he can go any lower, Queen Galleia, Kracauer, and Lakis walk in the room. They all get mad and start chasing Hippias.

THE END