Teaspoon :: Letters From an Unhinged Mind by rollingstone

Fourth Doctor
Letters From an Unhinged Mind by rollingstone [Reviews - 6] Author's Notes: These two letters are simply the product of early morning insanity. I hope it amuses you.

Mr. Kenobi,

I'm terribly sorry for stealing your lightsaber. In hindsight, I realize that, as a Time Lord, I have little use for such a tool, as I tend to favor diplomacy over force anyway. But my immense brain, far superior to your feeble one, overtook pragmatism, and I found I desired to understand such a tool. I hope you'll forgive my theft, particularly given that it was done only to further my expansive and immutable search for knowledge. I intended to return it just as soon as I examined its internal structure and means of application.

However, was it really necessary to set my scarf aflame?

Holding you to your promise of compensation, and affectionately nicking your cloak as collateral,
The Doctor

- - -

Dear Person who ate my jellybabies,

I'm a jovial sort of fellow, as I'm sure you know. I'm congenial and amiable and even-tempered. I could go on listing my attractive qualities ad nauseam, but the true point I'm trying to assert is that you should know you've grievously exploited the kindness of a stranger, to which I do take issue. I keep a constant supply of jelly babies, as they are a pleasure I take great satisfaction in indulging in from time to time; they also come in quite handy as comfort to companions or a way to make conversation. When I offered you a jelly baby, I'd like to point out that there is a clear distinction between one jelly baby and the entirety you indulged in. What's more, you ate all but the yellow ones, which are my least favorite.

I do not generally wish misery upon others (unless they thoroughly deserve it), but I am not contrite in my hope that you languish with the belly ache which will most surely come upon you. I hope that next time we meet you'll rethink your impulsive and very rude decision. You've hurt me more than you can know. I hadn't planned to return to Earth for quite a bit, but as I can't very well continue traveling without a hearty stash, I must return to replenish my supply of jelly babies.

Which you stole.

I might have invited you along with me. Now you will spend the rest of your days wondering what could have been.

I do wish you all the best.

Yours affectionately,
The Doctor

Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.

Script for this archive provided by . Contact our archivists at . Please read our and .