A Teaspoon And An Open Mind: A Doctor Who Fan Fiction Archive
Tenth Doctor
The Weight of a Loss by Clairy_Fairy [Reviews - 2] Printer
Author's Notes:
i've (i hope) improved this version by changing the ending and double spaced the dialog...


The birds were chirruping cheerfully, the sun was beating down and Rose lay lazily in a rowboat floating in the middle of the small lake in front of her family's country house. She didn't feel like doing anything, it had been a long time since she had done anything exciting.

It had been fourteen long years since she had last seen the Doctor yet she didn't look any older except from her eyes, they had the knowledge and the travel in them of someone who could be eighty years old. She hadn't done anything with her life, she had gone to work, come home, eaten and slept for fourteen years. It wasn't a life, just a way of existing. The Doctor had showed her a better way of living. No, he had showed her A life.

She sat up and looked around. Her fourteen year old sister Lisa was busy texting her crush in the back garden.

"She's lucky," thought Rose. "she gets to live a real life. One without the weight of a loss keeping her back."

Her parents thought she was fully healed but what they didn't know was that Rose cried every night, remembering the times she spent with the Doctor. The tears she cried were her lullaby into a world of nightmares. She kept on dreaming the same one: she's in a crowded marketplace, suddenly she sees the Doctor, she calls him and he looks straight through her, not seeing her. The nightmare would always end there and she would wake up, sweat all over her body and tears running down her face. Had the Doctor forgotten her? She couldn't help asking herself that question even though it hurt more than anything. She hoped he wasn't alone but she couldn't stand the thought of him forgetting her.

She fiddled with her expensive light blue sun hat her mother had given to her on her birthday. No matter how much money her family owned, they could never bring the Doctor back. She couldn't take it anymore, she started to cry, mourning for her lost love and her old life.

Her younger sister noticed her crying.

"What is it?," she shouted to Rose from the garden.

"N-nothing, Lisa, I've just got something in my eye." she lied. She didn't want to depress her sister with her problems.

Not looking convinced, Lisa went back into the house.
Rose dried her eyes and had a hiccup of surprise, at the other end of the lake was the man she was mourning. It was impossible. She blinked. It didn't seem like a hallucination.

"I am insane," she thought. "completely out of my mind."

Instinctively, she started rowing, a knot forming in her stomach. The other end of the lake seemed miles away and the closer she got to the bank, the tighter the knot got. She was nervous of what she would find.

The boat hit the grass. Rose got up and turned around. The place was deserted, not a trace of the Doctor. She had to face the harsh reality: the Doctor was not coming back and she would have to get on with her life. It was like a slap in the face: harsh but it relieved her.

Rose walked away. The chains of sadness and agony were cut, she was free.

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