|Membio||2006.09.27 - 10:18PM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|It is a very soothing chapter, a nice missing scene. Rose choosing her room and touring the TARDIS, how fun! I like the Doctor's quiet thoughts-- about trusting Rose alone in the TARDIS. So glad there is more!|
Author's Response: I plan on there being lots and lots more! :D All the way until the end of the second series. I\'m dreading having to finish this - I really love it.
|Tante||2006.09.27 - 05:21PM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|Just one little oops. and a little subconscious - you mean selfconscious|
Beautiful tone to this chapter. Soft, gentle, soothing - I relaxed right along with Rose. Very interested though, so no danger of me falling asleep. Not with your writing.
Author's Response: Aha! Yes, that\'s a mistake I make on a few occasions when I write. I\'ve caught it in my updated versions now, but haven\'t yet figured out how to edit the chapters on Teaspoon. I should give that a try.
And I thank you for the flattery - it will get you everywhere!
|LarielRomeniel||2006.08.31 - 03:56PM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|I adore stories like this. Very very well done. |
|wmr||2006.08.31 - 08:28AM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|This continues to be lovely - a gentle, subtle and layered exploration of their early relationship. I can really see, through your writing, how they become so close so quickly. Even by the third episode - despite his irritation with her in the second - it's so clear that they mean a lot to each other, even among the spats and differences of opinion.|
I love this:
The rest serve as a warming reminder that there is someone who does not hate him, someone who smiles when she sees him, someone who trusts him with her life. And someone who he trusts with his.
He pauses from the controls again, suddenly staring into space. His face, usually animated and full of life, is oddly insipid. His trust, the thing that most would die for but never deign to accept, lies in the palm of a nineteen-year-oldís hand ó and he hadnít even noticed.
Beautiful, and I can so see it. :)
Your writing style is lovely and your descriptions vivid and fascinating. Just one tip on grammar, though: watch your speech tags. Actions such as nodding or grinning aren't speech tags, so where they follow dialogue they need to be a new sentence. So it's "I like that." He grins. and not "I like that," he grins.
Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Oh gosh, you learn something new every day. It makes the perfect sense now I think about it. And now I can go through everything else I\'ve got and spot my speech tags. Thanks :)
|SCAngel||2006.08.31 - 07:08AM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|Only two chapters in and you have me hooked. I love having a peek into all the things that happened between the episodes and you're doing it brilliantly. I also adore that you're giving us nice, meaty chapters, too. That's a lot of work and I truly appreciate it!|
Can't wait for more!
|LilacFree||2006.08.31 - 06:39AM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|It's nice to see a fic set at this point. I'd think we'd see more if they would ever show us more of the TARDIS. So thank you for letting us wander around in it with Rose on her first time. I also enjoyed the exploration of her early relationship with the Doctor. Good job all around. |
|stealingrosemary||2006.08.31 - 06:27AM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|Brilliant story! I loved the Doctor showing Rose around the Tardis, and her confusion with the toothbrush. I'm so very, very looking forward to the next episodes!|
Just one quick, tiny nitpick. I think you might have meant self conscious below, rather than subconscious.
"He feels a little uncomfortable at first, and a little subconscious"
A truly wonderful story!
Author's Response: Ooh, thanks for the comments :) Yeah, I tend to miss the little things like that, because they look pretty much the same when I\'m reading/writing, yet mean completely different things!
|amberite||2006.08.31 - 05:11AM||2: The End of the World||Signed|
|Breathtaking. I love the patter of their dialogue; I can hear it exactly in my head. And the moment of Rose's misapprehension about the toothbrush -- beautiful. I know how those moments feel; some mistakes are more fun to make than getting it right. |